New Eddie And Alex Article In The New Classic Rock Mag

[academic punk]

English mag (the same magazine - but the current issue - that had the cover story with Dave some months ago). Here's some of the shit these LYING fucks now say (this article was done in the midst of the tour):

1) They gave NO interviews throughout the tour, but they granted one to this guy because he - like the brothers - is of Dutch descent.

2) The reunion with Dave in 2000 was more real in other people's minds than in theirs (Wha??? Huh???? You wrote new songs, right? You negotiated terms for a tour? How much more REAL can it get???)

3) They don't like Sammy's lyrics to Amsterdam (they find them stereotypical and unpoetic. But Sam's a "party-animal" so that's his viewpoint.

4) They claim they are playing better than ever now because they are not trying so hard to conquer the world (IN OTHER WORDS, FUCKBAGS: YOU'VE BECOME FAT, LAZY, AND COMPLACENT).

5) Ed says he has "beaten cancer" and "nothing can touch" him. What he doesn't say is no one can have sex with him either, because a) he's such a fucking drunkard he can't even get it up, and b) he can't perform cunnilingus 'cause he ain't got no fuckin' TONGUE!!!

and, my personal fave,
6) MANAGEMENT FOISTED AND FORCED GARY ON THEM AND THEY ALWAYS KNEW THAT IT DIDN'T FIT. Everyone, all toghether now: "Whaaaa?" What about "Gary's my musical soulmate"? "Gary is the last singer this band will ever have"? "VHIII is the most mature, sophisticated album we've ever done"? "Gary has the sweetest, most puckered bunghole Alex and I have ever rimmed"?

There's a couple more - them opening for Bon Jovi was something forced on them by management (hello? you're millionaires. no one's gonna force you to do anything. you did it FOR THE MONEY!!!) They also claim they didn't realize Bon Jovis audience consists of 15 year olds. (...and how old is the bulk of the music buying populance?

ugh. i hate those ballbags.

[tomballin]

More of the Van Lying Fuckheads. They will never Tour again imo.


......Forgetttttttt About It - Pete Picasso

Pic: From the DLR Video "Going Crazy"

[Flash Bastard]

Excellent commentary..... I'd add to it but you've pretty much got the subject covered.

[academic punk]

Please DO add to it!

Because here's something I forgot to mention:

Management convinced Ed to bring Gary in by telliing him, "You're the star of this show. So long as you're playing guitar, anybody could be up there with the mircophone."

The brothers actually now say this openly! DOUCHES!!!!

[scottydabodi]

NEWSFLASH: ED and ALEX are fucking DOUCHEBAGS!! They are SO DRUNK they can't discern reality from illusion...

[light 'em up!]

Ed and Al have completely lost touch with reality. They're the joke of rock, and it looks like Dave WILL be getting the last laugh.

[Fabulous Shadow]

You can read the full article on my site here...
http://home.earthlink.net/~fab2316/

Titled Van halen Article...

[aesop]

That's it...I've now officially lost ALL respect for the Deranged Dutchmen...

Fuck 'Em...lying pieces of shit.

[ode2keller]

VAN HALEN RULES!!!!!!!! wait wait I was just listening to 1984!!!!!
Don't blame eddie its just the alcohol talking wait wait. My bad he's just talk'n out of his ASS.

[Matt White]

"Management convinced Ed to bring Gary in by telliing him, "You're the star of this show. So long as you're playing guitar, anybody could be up there with the microphone."

Many of us have known since at least 1996 that this was the prevailing attitude up on Howdy Dowdy Mountain. The SHEEP, in general, share the same feeling. "EVH is the star of the show, plug in ANY singer and watch 'em go."
GO STRAIGHT TO HELL. Mediocrity, limp sales, and a loss of legendary status.

Say it again, "IT AIN'T VAN HALEN WITHOUT DAVID LEE ROTH."

[Tiger Roth]

I heard that this interview was done back in July. What sort of magazine prints a six month old interview? Especially after all the shit that has since July.

[Flash Bastard]

Thanks for the link Fab.

Unfuckingbelievable... could these two fucks have their heads jammed any further up their asses?

Goddamn that interview pisses me off. It's no wonder they didn't do interviews... they were too worried someone would call them out on the bullshit they were spewing.

I wonder if this dutch writer went home and took a shower to remove the scent of Alex's balls from his chin.

[redblkwht]

"Gary is the last singer this band will ever have"? "VHIII is the most mature, sophisticated album we've ever done"?

fucking caught again..i see.
2 hypocritical fucks..its no wonder DLR never let them interview before.
they shit from their mouth with lies after lies.
exposed again bro, nice link fab..thx ;)








DUDE ON LUDES SHOULD NOT DRIVE.

[light 'em up!]

They're either the dumbest two dutchmen on the planet or simply hell-bent on self destruction.

[tomballin]

From the article:

http://img7.exs.cx/img7/7772/alex30dead0ah.jpg


Keep trying Alex, nobody likes a loser.......Forget About It!!! - Pete Picasso

http://img7.exs.cx/img7/7011/36mj.jpg

[DavidLeeNatra]

man at this point I can only laugh...yeah...forget about it...but you see...these fuckers know what's discussed on the internet... :D

thanx a lot, fab

[frets5150]

W T F!!!

[DavidLeeNatra]

we'll see this pic here once in a while, i guess :D

[house0paincakes]

Yes, thanks for the link Fab. What a fucking joke.

[Panamark]

And the sheep will graze on this.

Or is there actually some sheep that see this blatantly
obvious hypocrisy ??

C'mon guys you all remember Ed's comments about his soul mate.

I had to laugh at the highly exaggerated numbers in that
interview. BOBW 600,000 copies in one day ???
Playing to 70,000 people in Chicago ??

They slag VHIII yet that album sold as much as the one they
are currently heralding.. (It sold nothing)

C'mon sheep, do you really fall for this ???

[tomballin]

Reading this Van Sisters article makes about as much sense as buying used condoms at amazon.com.

[tomballin]

MTV - 1986: Dave, after the breakup, how do you feel about your old band (VH)

DLR: - Two butt cheeks, two family jewels, two Van Halen's........(DLR looks at camera and just shrugs)


http://img130.exs.cx/img130/4258/dlrtovh2x1ga.jpg

[DavidLeeNatra]

Originally posted by tomballin
Reading this Van Sisters article makes about as much sense as buying used condoms at amazon.com. http://www.rotharmy.com/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=360478

ROTFLMFAO !!!

[DavidLeeNatra]

I guess, somebody had to do it :D

[Snow Ho]

Originally posted by tomballin
Reading this Van Sisters article makes about as much sense as buying used condoms at amazon.com.

with as full of shit as that article was, also the same as buying a used diaper.

[Big Train]

That was the most amazing load of bullshit I have read in a LONNNNNNNNNNG time. The sales stuff was laughable, the "brothers" argument with sammy comical, the out and out disses of Michael Anthony (via lack of mentioning to him at ALL), the "We own the car and say who sits in it"......what a sad, pathetic joke it is.

They have reached Spinal Tap status officially..

[Don Corleone]

Alex is married AGAIN!!!!!! What was it he said a few months back about how Dave couldn't just do something once.

[degüello]

What a bunch of crap.

[academic punk]

There's something REEEEEEAAALLLY fuckin' disturbing about a pic of condoms, followed by Dave's spandex-clad ass, and then Sambo McDonald.

Someone, please. Post a pic of a vagina.

[Don Corleone]

Hang on a minute, in that interview Ed say's "I'm 47". Odd how the guy actually turns 50 in about 2 weeks.

What a surprise Eddie tells a lie.

[Don Corleone]

Add here's another thing;

[Don Corleone]

So let's check out the way he looks when the pics haven't been airbrushed

[Jamocha Joe]

Originally posted by academic punk
There's something REEEEEEAAALLLY fuckin' disturbing about a pic of condoms, followed by Dave's spandex-clad ass, and then Sambo McDonald.

Someone, please. Post a pic of a vagina.

[tomballin]

Originally posted by academic punk
There's something REEEEEEAAALLLY fuckin' disturbing about a pic of condoms, followed by Dave's spandex-clad ass, and then Sambo McDonald.

Someone, please. Post a pic of a vagina.

Baaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaaa........The tread started disturbing, no where to go with it but down.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Jamocha Joe




hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

GREAT one, JJ!! Five fuckin' stars, man!!!

[academic punk]

Wait - was that your FIRST ever post on here??? BRILLIANT START!!!

may i be the first to confer you with a big five star!

[Nickdfresh]

I started reading this article and my BULLSHIT DETECTOR© started screaming! So I stopped.

[Fabulous Shadow]

Eddie is pretty cut tho...

Did ya read this part?

"Look at me, I have been seriously ill and been through all kinds of things and LOOK at me!" Eddie glances down at his sinewy naked uppper body and rolls his muscels (and it has to be said that apart from his face and the lit cigarette, he has the body of an athlete)
I'm 47 years old. I have beaten Cancer, no one can touch me." He says proudly.

OK... The "apart from his face" part has gotta hurt and call me supersticious but who says, after beating cancer, no one can touch me with a cagarette hanging out of his mouth. SCARY!

[GAR]

Originally posted by DavidLeeNatra
I guess, somebody had to do it :D

dear ROTHARMY WEBMASTERS:

ATTENTION

SESH
SARGE
BROWN
ANYBODY

I NEED THIS McCLOWN AS MY NEW AVATAR BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE GRABS IT

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE PLEASE ADD IT FOR ME?

(If you have to crop it to fit, get him in just above the bottom of the necktie.)

Please please please..


Best!!
GAR

[5150Clown]

They're so full of shit. It's incredible that idiot fans still go see these old bastards. They play great, but they are hardly what they used to be. These two idiots (sadly) are better off drunk. When their sobber all they do is bitch about stuff and blame managment for everything.

[Fabulous Shadow]

I saw um 4 times... Sorry, but I love Ed, even if the stuff coming out of his mouth lately has been a bit contrived.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Don Corleone
So let's check out the way he looks when the pics haven't been airbrushed


That pic of Ed is even scarier looking than Jocelyn Wildenstein (and he's not even sticking out the remnants of his tongue...).

[DavidLeeNatra]

Originally posted by GAR
dear ROTHARMY WEBMASTERS:

ATTENTION

SESH
SARGE
BROWN
ANYBODY

I NEED THIS McCLOWN AS MY NEW AVATAR BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE GRABS IT

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE PLEASE ADD IT FOR ME?

(If you have to crop it to fit, get him in just above the bottom of the necktie.)

Please please please..


Best!!
GAR

:D my pleasure

[Jamocha Joe]

Originally posted by academic punk
Wait - was that your FIRST ever post on here???

Thanks academic punk. Yes, that was my first post, but I've been lurking here for ages.

[Cathedral]

Robert Urich was in great shape also, just before his cancer returned and killed him within 4 weeks.

Shaking your finger at God, Edward?

Not Cool, Broham.

[academic punk]

Originally posted by Cathedral
Robert Urich was in great shape also, just before his cancer returned and killed him within 4 weeks.

Shaking your finger at God, Edward?

Not Cool, Broham.

It does have the ring of Christmas future to it, doesn't it?

[DavidLeeNatra]

gar...be quick or be dead...

avatar

[DavidLeeNatra]

sorry...too big...this should work

[Fabulous Shadow]

Originally posted by Cathedral
Robert Urich was in great shape also, just before his cancer returned and killed him within 4 weeks.

Shaking your finger at God, Edward?

Not Cool, Broham.

I agree...*shudders*

[CROWBAR]

The only reason Edweird looks "cut" is from taking steroids hon. Throw in a little 12 oz. elbow bends, a dash of anti-depressants and VOILA!! you have ze eddy!

[squib]

More insight into the van halen ego. Ed says that Van Halen is a car and he and Alex are the owners, and that they decide who gets to ride in it...he forgot to mention who BUILT THE FUCKING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[DavidLeeNatra]

Originally posted by squib
he forgot to mention who BUILT THE FUCKING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

and who tuned it up...

[tomballin]

Originally posted by CROWBAR
The only reason Edweird looks "cut" is from taking steroids hon. Throw in a little 12 oz. elbow bends, a dash of anti-depressants and VOILA!! you have ze eddy!

Exactly along with Growth Hormone, and guess what, the shit he's taking feeds cancer cells, like gasoline feeds a fire.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Originally posted by frets5150
W T F!!!

If you look at the whole picture, then it looks like Eddie has just shoved his guitar up Spammy's ass.

[Jim Rome]

Originally posted by Don Corleone
Add here's another thing;

Great errr point there. Eddie turns 50 on January 26, clones. I think Eddie meant errr he had errr 47 brain cells left.

[Don Corleone]

Originally posted by Jim Rome
Great errr point there. Eddie turns 50 on January 26, clones. I think Eddie meant errr he had errr 47 brain cells left.

Nah, I've figured it out now. Ed's missing 2 years due to his total time sober.

[Halen High]

After reading this rubbish I've now lost what little respect I still had for Eddie and Alex. I really wish Dave would just get on with his own career and forget about these two jerks. They are so over. They've become nothing more than a joke. Very sad. These guys were once the coolest band ever. No one could touch them. Now this.

As for the journalist, he obviously needs reminding that accuracy is the most important ingredient of any article.

[light 'em up!]

Originally posted by Halen High
I really wish Dave would just get on with his own career and forget about these two jerks.

I think he's already done that.

[LadyTudor2711]

Who writes this shit? Bullshit Journalism 101. A bunch of specious , rock writer faggots trying to suck up to Ed and trying to sound reasonably intelligent at the same time. Sammy sucks and always will.

There is only one way to rock and it is not with fucking Sammy, the fat pile of crap acting like a Jimmy Buffet imposter. Get a fucking stylist you loser... I have never anything so heinous in my life. He is a PIG.




Sweet dreams,

Amy

[Starwood]

Damn. That's so funny, Starwood might even buy it. It's the BEST stuff they've put out 20 years.

[Terry]

Don't even matter if the sisters are telling the truth or not anymore.

Van Halen is all done.

Tell 'em to give me a holler if they start putting out vaulted, classic stuff.

Otherwise, fuck 'em.

[Halen High]

Originally posted by light 'em up!
I think he's already done that.

I think Dave's still on a mission to save the legacy. Apparently, Ray has said the DLR Band has had two or three albums of hard rock material ready for release for some time now, which suggests to me Dave is holding on for a CVH reunion.

Good on him for trying! But no one can save these guys anymore. It's too late. Eddie and Alex have finally succeeded in killing their own band.

Anyway, Dave is more Van Halen than those two fools will ever be.

[Chris]

Wow, Best of Both Worlds sold 600,000 copies in the U.S. in one day alone and went platinum instantly.

What a couple of bullshitters.

[aesop]

Originally posted by LadyTudor2711
Who writes this shit? Bullshit Journalism 101. A bunch of specious , rock writer faggots trying to suck up to Ed and trying to sound reasonably intelligent at the same time. Sammy sucks and always will.

There is only one way to rock and it is not with fucking Sammy, the fat pile of crap acting like a Jimmy Buffet imposter. Get a fucking stylist you loser... I have never anything so heinous in my life. He is a PIG.




Sweet dreams,

Amy

WOW - Outta left field comes such umbrage towards the Ronald McDonald twin...

Quite the transcendent and superlative observation, Lady!

And I'm embarrassed that I had to look up specious in the dictionary lol...

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by Chris
Wow, Best of Both Worlds sold 600,000 copies in the U.S. in one day alone and went platinum instantly.

What a couple of bullshitters.

You are out of your mind. It barely has gone platinum since. Get your facts right sheep.