Roth/Hagar - Stanley/Simmons

[Balue]

In the red corner, you have charisma to burn, men want to be you, women want to fuck you, great hair, cool rock'n'roll voice, total understanding of what constitutes a party, all the best tunes, smart enough to write lyrics just the right side of dumb.

In the blue corner, you are a fat talentless tosser.

At least with Van Halen you don't have to program out the crap half of the catalogue when you play the cds :) .

[Mezro]

What the fuck are you talking about?

Mezro...great hair? two of them have wigs, one is thinning and the other looks like the wooly ass of a sheep...

[MAX]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............Ok??????? :confused:

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Studio/7507/pics/beavbut.jpg

[scottydabodi]

Huh?

[Balue]

Okay, I could have been clearer :D

How about Roth vs Hagar - Stanley vs Simmons

Is that better?

And before anyone brings Calling Doctor Love to Simmons defense, can I just say monkeys/typewriters, or Hagar/Bad Motor Scooter......

Something that struck me the other day. Why is it that I bought all The DLR VH albums on cd that I had on vinyl back when I was 15, but have never bought any of the Kiss albums I listened to at the same time? Easy! Kiss albums all have Gene Simmons 'contributions' on them, whereas Sammy's 'efforts' with VH are handily kept apart from the good stuff :)

Okay it's a bullshit thread, but have you seen the other bollocks that gets posted here?

[scottydabodi]

Originally posted by Balue
Okay it's a bullshit thread, but have you seen the other bollocks that gets posted here?

Uh, yeah... Dave would murder Ronald McHagar... Simmons would win because Stanley wouldn't want to break a nail.

[Mezro]

My 1st attempt to write a "Balue style" post.

Hullo

Clear is fear and little lambs eat ivy out of my arse.

Does this make sense? Are you randy baby?

Bang! I'm loaded

How about we all sword fight with Ritchie Blackmore naked?

Is that better?

And before anyone brings Right Said Fred to defense, can I just say otters/meat grinders or Danzig/Sheer Clothing...

While sitting on the loo I spied a whole in the wall. While looking through it something struck me in the eye. It was pink - like a panther with sinus problems.

I own the entire Gary Glitter box set. I can spit fire out of my ass. Good stuff is the stuff you can stuff. Can you smell the back of my vinyl?

Okay this is a bait and tackle thread but my goods needed to be sorted.

Tyrone? Tyrone? Are you out there?


Mezro...Balue...where is the value?...

[MAX]

Mez,

My disciples are all kneeling in awe at the presence of your divine greatness........

:gulp:

[DLR_EngineRoom]

Originally posted by Balue
In the red corner, you have charisma to burn, men want to be you, women want to fuck you, great hair, cool rock'n'roll voice, total understanding of what constitutes a party, all the best tunes, smart enough to write lyrics just the right side of dumb.

In the blue corner, you are a fat talentless tosser.

At least with Van Halen you don't have to program out the crap half of the catalogue when you play the cds :) .

Another example of a Clueless Eunuch that comes aboard to stir shit for no good reason. On behalf of Gene, Paul AND Dave.....Go F*** Yourself, pathetic loser. You suck. Go home.

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX
Mez,

My disciples all kneel in awe in the presence your divine greatness........

:gulp:

Cool...an endless sea of humanity wearing black suits with little badges that say "elder" on them looking to me as their leader.

Mezro...attention my MIB army...please empty the contents of your wallets now...

[MAX]

Originally posted by Mezro
Cool...an endless sea of humanity wearing black suits with little badges that say "elder" on them looking to me as their leader.

Mezro...attention my MIB army...please empty the contents of your wallets now...


http://images.chron.com/content/news/photos/04/03/05/rlatter.jpg

Invasion of the pod people. Very easy to control, you see the lifeless stare in there eyes? Soon I will rule the state of Zion with my divine madness.

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX
[B]http://images.chron.com/content/news/photos/04/03/05/rlatter.jpg/B]

Yes MAX - those are the 2 guys that try to talk to me about God on the train every fucking morning.

Mezro...I tell them my God is a shaved Asian porn star...

[MAX]

I hear you Mez. At least you don't have relatives that send them to your house every couple of years trying to convert my delinquent ass.

Hey fellas, how bout a couple shots a whiskey? No? Then fuck off!!! :D

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX
I hear you Mez. At least you don't have relatives that send them to your house every couple of years trying to convert my delinquent ass.


I feel bad being rude to them. They seem like good people and all. But they keep asking me a question they already know the answer.

The best was the day I explained to them the phenomenon of a squirting female orgasm. They looked stunned, turned red...but kept listening.

Mezro...and the next thing you know guys...whoosh...a vagina fountain...and it is not piss...

[MAX]

Originally posted by Mezro
I feel bad being rude to them. They seem like good people and all. But they keep asking me a question they already know the answer.

The best was the day I explained to them the phenomenon of a squirting female orgasm. They looked stunned, turned red...but kept listening.

Mezro...and the next thing you know guys...whoosh...a vagina fountain...and it is not piss...

LMAO!!!

Yeah, my dad's entire side of the family are mormon. Good people, they just suffer from tunnel vision. I'll tell you though, back in highschool and college (before they get married and start pumpin' out a unit every nine months) mormon chicks are some of the horniest and nastiest around. I speak from experience. :D :D :D

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX
mormon chicks are some of the horniest and nastiest around. I speak from experience. :D :D :D

I'm afraid their hairy crotch would remind me of a crown of thorns.

Mezro...mormon chicks: a great fuck until they trap you and your seed...for life...

[MAX]

Originally posted by Mezro
I'm afraid their hairy crotch would remind me of a crown of thorns.

Mezro...mormon chicks: a great fuck until they trap you and your seed...for life...


No, no, no, all wrong. They only want to fuck like a beast when they are young, just to get it out of their system until their missionary boyfriend gets home from his two year adventure with his male companion. Once Elder Smith arrives, it's off to the temple and babies, babies, babies and more babies.

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX
No, no, no, all wrong. They only want to fuck like a beast when they are young, just to get it out of their system

Hmmmmmm

Mezro...are there Asian mormons?...if so I'd like to order a baker's dozen...

[MAX]

Originally posted by Mezro
Hmmmmmm

Mezro...are there Asian mormons?...if so I'd like to order a baker's dozen...


Cum to think of it, I never remember any mormons that weren't white?

Hmmmmm..........


Later Brother Mez, I have to go feed my ruggies.

:gulp:

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX
Cum to think of it, I never remember any mormons that weren't white?

Hmmmmm..........


Later Brother Mez, I have to go feed my ruggies.

:gulp:

Later Elder MAX

Mezro...have to eat more chicken breast with brown rice...

[MAX]

Originally posted by Mezro
Later Elder MAX

Mezro...have to eat more chicken breast with brown rice...


Enjoy your chicken Brother Mez. I made the family shrimp fajitas. Mmmmmm........ They were tasty.

Anyway, thanks for the new moniker. I'm now going by that as my title. It sounds both prestigious, religious and I'm oh, so worthy. lol.


Anything left in that bottle?

:gulp:

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX


Anything left in that bottle?

:gulp:

Only Isopure Whey Protein Isolate w/25g of dextrose.

Mezro...now I'm eating two cans of albacore, more brown rice and some peppermint tea...

[MAX]

Originally posted by Mezro
Only Isopure Whey Protein Isolate w/25g of dextrose.

Mezro...now I'm eating two cans of albacore, more brown rice and some peppermint tea...


Me too but I'm eating a pummelo for B12 (Your own "Maximus" will thank you) with a wheatgrass chaser.

[Mezro]

Originally posted by MAX
Me too but I'm eating a pummelo for B12 (Your own "Maximus" will thank you) with a wheatgrass chaser.

Shit...my "maximus" thanks me for living in San Francisco.

Mezro...an unlimited supply of Asian toys for me to caulk...

[Nickdfresh]

Originally posted by Mezro
Shit...my "maximus" thanks me for living in San Francisco.

Mezro...an unlimited supply of Asian toys for me to caulk...

I have a gift for you Mezro, enjoy:

[MAX]

This thread is what I'm talking about!!!! :D

Any more exotic citrus fer me diet? :confused:

[Mezro]

Originally posted by Nickdfresh
I have a gift for you Mezro, enjoy:

Nick - you are an officer, a freak and a gentleman:D

Mezro...sushi that you don't need chopsticks for...

[MAX]

Chopsticks can still be a useful tool cos they're extremely ticklish when properly used. ;)

[Top Jimmy]

uh huh uh HUH

[Top Jimmy]

hhhhhheeeeyyyyyyyyyymmmaannnnnnnn

[Terry]

Should have titled this thread Hagar/Stanley/Simmons.

Three people I have no use for.

No coincidence that the only KISS music worth listening to was when Ace and Peter were in the band. Same goes for Van Halen and Roth.