Matt White
01-21-2005, 10:38 AM
Don't know if this has ever been posted before, but here goes........
DEAR SUPERSTAR by Clark Collis
DAVID LEE ROTH: The former Van Halen frontman is just a gigolo, and everywhere he goes, people ask him about urinating into electric fans, arresting intruders and how many women he has "delivered the groceries to" in one night. At least, that's what you inquired about.....
"Ok," declares David Lee Roth once BLENDER has rearranged a table-and-chair set to his satisfaction by the pool of the Chateau Marmont hotel in LOs Angeles. "let's get this ghetto chariot rolling!"
The lines on the former Van Halen frontman's face may betray his 47 years. But Roth's childlike enthusiasm for the task at hand remains undiminished---wether that task happens to be answering Blender readers' questions, organizing yet another adventure vacation to some remote part of the world or pursuing his solo career.
Indeed, while the Van Halen camp (whom Roth is currently suing for unpaid royalties) seems to be in a state of semipermanent hibernation, this summer will find Roth following up last years's rancorous tour with Spammy Hagar by going on another mammoth continent-spanning trek in support of the new cd, DIAMOND DAVE.
"I think we've got a really good chance with this record," he says of an album on which he fearlessly coves the Beatles, the Doors and Jimmi Hendrix. "We're playing every casino, ballroom, and whorehouse that will have us! And the band is furious---they'd plug their amps into livestock if I'd let 'em.
"and," he adds, flashing a smile that can be measured only in megawatts, "I might let 'em!"
What's the most women you've slept with in one night?
DLR: "Actually delivered the groceries? Three of five. But two of them, twice."
Which lyrics are you most proud to have written?
DLR: "I don't remember the exact rhyme, but it said the only adventures that I regret are the ones I didn't go on."
What's the best marijuana that you've ever smoked?
DLR: "The shit that killed Elvis? It finds its way to me. But it is almost more the ritual. Ritual is what separates us from animals. It's more me hanging out in the parking lot of the first Bob Marley shows back in the 70's. Part of my version of making it was, "Gee, someday I'm gonna smoke joints that big!"
You've studied martial arts since you were a kid. What advice would you give to someone who found himself outnumbered in a fight?
DLR:"Tuck your chin all the way down until it touches your chest, and imagine there's a pie plate sitting on top of your head. Grit your teeth and nail as much of the pie as you can into your opponents skull.
Guaranteed, the recipient is going to be late to the dance. It's not a traditional head-butt; it's Chinese. Traditional headbutts hurt a lot. They leave scars; your going to wind up with a lot of dry-cleaning bills. With this, all you're going to have is a little bump. And a hell of a drinking story!"
Have you actually gotten hot with a teacher?
DLR: "Let me think. Schoolteachers since graduation, certainly. I'm a highly literate slut. Also, now, I've found that I'm a poster boy for an entire voting bloc I didn't know existed: unmarried moms in their twenties and early thirties with one or two children under 7 years old, who have spent a lot of time---evidently!---on the stairmaster. I call it the stairmaster nation."
Did being Jewish have an effect on your career?
DLR: "Absolutely. Jewish kids take a paperback instead of a football to the beach. Jewish kids have a push to excel in the brain games. It's the natural way of the minority.
There's also a fierce mentality that is instilled in us as very young children that is Israeli in nature. It really had nothing to do with religion. It's closer to being Puerto Rican in terms of belligerent enthusiasm and lust for life---like, RIGHT NOW---because there might not be a next minute."
In retrospect, do you regret suggesting that the band be called VAN HALEN?
DLR: "Not at all. ROTH is a little abrupt."
In the early days, Van Halen used a lot of homemade pyrotechnics. When you heard about the Great White disaster,did you think, "That could have been us"?
DLR: "When you're young and stupid, it's a bit of a mitigating factor. When you're old and stupid, you deserve to get pulled over. These guys were not beginners. It was not their third rodeo. And they're responsible."
Do you miss being as successful as you were with Van Halen?
DLR: "Well, I could always use more and more cash. But the "big moment" is a suit that doesn't fit---and you're not used to the necktie, either. The top of the mountain is fucking freezing, and you take a picture---you show the flag, and that takes up about 1 percent of the overall adventure time.
The best is when you're sitting around your friends and some strong drink, scheming and plotting. But now, I seem to find more fascination with what we're doing musically. For me, it's still a full-time gig. I have successfully confused business with pleasure. I'm flavor of the week again. You could draw a cartoon of me, and everybody in the UNited States knows exactly who you mean."
DEAR SUPERSTAR by Clark Collis
DAVID LEE ROTH: The former Van Halen frontman is just a gigolo, and everywhere he goes, people ask him about urinating into electric fans, arresting intruders and how many women he has "delivered the groceries to" in one night. At least, that's what you inquired about.....
"Ok," declares David Lee Roth once BLENDER has rearranged a table-and-chair set to his satisfaction by the pool of the Chateau Marmont hotel in LOs Angeles. "let's get this ghetto chariot rolling!"
The lines on the former Van Halen frontman's face may betray his 47 years. But Roth's childlike enthusiasm for the task at hand remains undiminished---wether that task happens to be answering Blender readers' questions, organizing yet another adventure vacation to some remote part of the world or pursuing his solo career.
Indeed, while the Van Halen camp (whom Roth is currently suing for unpaid royalties) seems to be in a state of semipermanent hibernation, this summer will find Roth following up last years's rancorous tour with Spammy Hagar by going on another mammoth continent-spanning trek in support of the new cd, DIAMOND DAVE.
"I think we've got a really good chance with this record," he says of an album on which he fearlessly coves the Beatles, the Doors and Jimmi Hendrix. "We're playing every casino, ballroom, and whorehouse that will have us! And the band is furious---they'd plug their amps into livestock if I'd let 'em.
"and," he adds, flashing a smile that can be measured only in megawatts, "I might let 'em!"
What's the most women you've slept with in one night?
DLR: "Actually delivered the groceries? Three of five. But two of them, twice."
Which lyrics are you most proud to have written?
DLR: "I don't remember the exact rhyme, but it said the only adventures that I regret are the ones I didn't go on."
What's the best marijuana that you've ever smoked?
DLR: "The shit that killed Elvis? It finds its way to me. But it is almost more the ritual. Ritual is what separates us from animals. It's more me hanging out in the parking lot of the first Bob Marley shows back in the 70's. Part of my version of making it was, "Gee, someday I'm gonna smoke joints that big!"
You've studied martial arts since you were a kid. What advice would you give to someone who found himself outnumbered in a fight?
DLR:"Tuck your chin all the way down until it touches your chest, and imagine there's a pie plate sitting on top of your head. Grit your teeth and nail as much of the pie as you can into your opponents skull.
Guaranteed, the recipient is going to be late to the dance. It's not a traditional head-butt; it's Chinese. Traditional headbutts hurt a lot. They leave scars; your going to wind up with a lot of dry-cleaning bills. With this, all you're going to have is a little bump. And a hell of a drinking story!"
Have you actually gotten hot with a teacher?
DLR: "Let me think. Schoolteachers since graduation, certainly. I'm a highly literate slut. Also, now, I've found that I'm a poster boy for an entire voting bloc I didn't know existed: unmarried moms in their twenties and early thirties with one or two children under 7 years old, who have spent a lot of time---evidently!---on the stairmaster. I call it the stairmaster nation."
Did being Jewish have an effect on your career?
DLR: "Absolutely. Jewish kids take a paperback instead of a football to the beach. Jewish kids have a push to excel in the brain games. It's the natural way of the minority.
There's also a fierce mentality that is instilled in us as very young children that is Israeli in nature. It really had nothing to do with religion. It's closer to being Puerto Rican in terms of belligerent enthusiasm and lust for life---like, RIGHT NOW---because there might not be a next minute."
In retrospect, do you regret suggesting that the band be called VAN HALEN?
DLR: "Not at all. ROTH is a little abrupt."
In the early days, Van Halen used a lot of homemade pyrotechnics. When you heard about the Great White disaster,did you think, "That could have been us"?
DLR: "When you're young and stupid, it's a bit of a mitigating factor. When you're old and stupid, you deserve to get pulled over. These guys were not beginners. It was not their third rodeo. And they're responsible."
Do you miss being as successful as you were with Van Halen?
DLR: "Well, I could always use more and more cash. But the "big moment" is a suit that doesn't fit---and you're not used to the necktie, either. The top of the mountain is fucking freezing, and you take a picture---you show the flag, and that takes up about 1 percent of the overall adventure time.
The best is when you're sitting around your friends and some strong drink, scheming and plotting. But now, I seem to find more fascination with what we're doing musically. For me, it's still a full-time gig. I have successfully confused business with pleasure. I'm flavor of the week again. You could draw a cartoon of me, and everybody in the UNited States knows exactly who you mean."