Tell US your favorite memory of ALAN THE PANTHER...

[Rikk]

So what is your favorite ALAN moment?

I have many. One of my favorites is the time he killed three hippos with his bare paws and then sang SIDE 2 of the Morrison Hotel album by The Doors.

I'm also fond of the time I was walking with ALAN through the jungles of Soderham, both of us eating sugar-free rice krispie treats, when suddenly Pippi Longstocking jumped out of the bushes!!!:eek:




She was about to attack ALAN and I with a carrot!!:eek:




But ALAN took care of her. We then went swimming with four blonde stewardesses and then ALAN took three of them up to his room at the Luxor Hotel.

[Alan da Panther]

The Ten Point Plan
WE WANT FREEDOM. WE WANT POWER TO DETERMINE THE DESTINY OF OUR BLACK AND OPPRESSED COMMUNITIES.
We believe that Black and oppressed people will not be free until we are able to determine our destinies in our own communities ourselves, by fully controlling all the institutions which exist in our communities.


WE WANT FULL EMPLOYMENT FOR OUR PEOPLE.
We believe that the federal government is responsible and obligated to give every person employment or a guaranteed income. We believe that if the American businessmen will not give full employment, then the technology and means of production should be taken from the businessmen and placed in the community so that the people of the community can organize and employ all of its people and give a high standard of living.


WE WANT AN END TO THE ROBBERY BY THE CAPITALISTS OF OUR BLACK AND OPPRESSED COMMUNITIES.
We believe that this racist government has robbed us and now we are demanding the overdue debt of forty acres and two mules. Forty acres and two mules were promised 100 years ago as restitution for slave labor and mass murder of Black people. We will accept the payment in currency which will be distributed to our many communities. The American racist has taken part in the slaughter of our fifty million Black people. Therefore, we feel this is a modest demand that we make.


WE WANT DECENT HOUSING, FIT FOR THE SHELTER OF HUMAN BEINGS.
We believe that if the landlords will not give decent housing to our Black and oppressed communities, then housing and the land should be made into cooperatives so that the people in our communities, with government aid, can build and make decent housing for the people.


WE WANT DECENT EDUCATION FOR OUR PEOPLE THAT EXPOSES THE TRUE NATURE OF THIS DECADENT AMERICAN SOCIETY. WE WANT EDUCATION THAT TEACHES US OUR TRUE HISTORY AND OUR ROLE IN THE PRESENT-DAY SOCIETY.
We believe in an educational system that will give to our people a knowledge of the self. If you do not have knowledge of yourself and your position in the society and in the world, then you will have little chance to know anything else.


WE WANT COMPLETELY FREE HEALTH CARE FOR All BLACK AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE.
We believe that the government must provide, free of charge, for the people, health facilities which will not only treat our illnesses, most of which have come about as a result of our oppression, but which will also develop preventive medical programs to guarantee our future survival. We believe that mass health education and research programs must be developed to give all Black and oppressed people access to advanced scientific and medical information, so we may provide our selves with proper medical attention and care.


WE WANT AN IMMEDIATE END TO POLICE BRUTALITY AND MURDER OF BLACK PEOPLE, OTHER PEOPLE OF COLOR, All OPPRESSED PEOPLE INSIDE THE UNITED STATES.
We believe that the racist and fascist government of the United States uses its domestic enforcement agencies to carry out its program of oppression against black people, other people of color and poor people inside the united States. We believe it is our right, therefore, to defend ourselves against such armed forces and that all Black and oppressed people should be armed for self defense of our homes and communities against these fascist police forces.


WE WANT AN IMMEDIATE END TO ALL WARS OF AGGRESSION.
We believe that the various conflicts which exist around the world stem directly from the aggressive desire of the United States ruling circle and government to force its domination upon the oppressed people of the world. We believe that if the United States government or its lackeys do not cease these aggressive wars it is the right of the people to defend themselves by any means necessary against their aggressors.


WE WANT FREEDOM FOR ALL BLACK AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE NOW HELD IN U. S. FEDERAL, STATE, COUNTY, CITY AND MILITARY PRISONS AND JAILS. WE WANT TRIALS BY A JURY OF PEERS FOR All PERSONS CHARGED WITH SO-CALLED CRIMES UNDER THE LAWS OF THIS COUNTRY.
We believe that the many Black and poor oppressed people now held in United States prisons and jails have not received fair and impartial trials under a racist and fascist judicial system and should be free from incarceration. We believe in the ultimate elimination of all wretched, inhuman penal institutions, because the masses of men and women imprisoned inside the United States or by the United States military are the victims of oppressive conditions which are the real cause of their imprisonment. We believe that when persons are brought to trial they must be guaranteed, by the United States, juries of their peers, attorneys of their choice and freedom from imprisonment while awaiting trial.


WE WANT LAND, BREAD, HOUSING, EDUCATION, CLOTHING, JUSTICE, PEACE AND PEOPLE'S COMMUNITY CONTROL OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY.
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume, among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that, whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and, accordingly, all experience hath shown that mankind are most disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But, when a long train of abuses and usurpation, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

[Rikk]

ALAN, quit preaching about your brothers and sit down with Pippi. Let's have some hot cocoa.

[Anonymous]

I think ALAN is stoned again. Rikk, did you let him into your garden?

Cheers! :bottle:

[Rikk]

Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker
I think ALAN is stoned again. Rikk, did you let him into your garden?

Cheers! :bottle:

Yes. And last Tuesday he ate Harold's sturgeon, Johnny.

Hard rain is a-gonna fall, my friend.

[Anonymous]

Hu-ho... I remember the last time He was stoned... Ooh, boy, someone's going tO SUFFER! REPENT, YE SINNERS!!!

CHEERS, MOFOS! :bottle:

[Rikk]

ALAN THE PANTHER tried to eat KATYDID again this morning. Believe me, I didn't stop him. But the smell is still bothering him.

I need a good set of noseplugs that a panther can wear.

[Northern Girl]

His tongue is rough, but you get used to it.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by Northern Girl
His tongue is rough, but you get used to it.

Girls tell me it's worth putting up with the rough tongue and the occasional blood loss when he feels like gnawing...

[Rikk]

Today, ALAN had a granola bar.

[Alan da Panther]

[Figs]

Sunday 3rd XI vs. North Enfield - (Ray Dodds)A matched conference game for once! Edmonton won the toss and batted first. Two quick wickets fell 2-2 when in marched the Inzaman Al Haq of Edmonton, Alan (The Panther) Porter who batted magnificently for 90, it's even said he ran (?) some two's for the first time since Noah released the dove from the Ark. Andy Belcher batted well for 22 and then Joe Suloola came in and crashed 50 off of 17 balls for Edmonton to declare on 225-9.

[Rikk]

Originally posted by Figs
Sunday 3rd XI vs. North Enfield - (Ray Dodds)A matched conference game for once! Edmonton won the toss and batted first. Two quick wickets fell 2-2 when in marched the Inzaman Al Haq of Edmonton, Alan (The Panther) Porter who batted magnificently for 90, it's even said he ran (?) some two's for the first time since Noah released the dove from the Ark. Andy Belcher batted well for 22 and then Joe Suloola came in and crashed 50 off of 17 balls for Edmonton to declare on 225-9.

God, what a great day that was.

Afterwards, ALAN ate fourteen patrons and let out the most hilarious belch.

It's days like the one you described that make me glad I bothered to learn to read!!

[DeadOrAlive]

WOW. Looks like I've missed out on alot.

[Rikk]

There is always time for new ALAN THE PANTHER disciples.

Believe in ALAN.