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Sarge and I tried for 6 months to get an interview out of "Big" Ed Anderson. If you don't know who "Big" Ed is you must be in special ed.
Long story short: he did not want to answer our questions because it might "retard his growth" in the music industry.
So I decided to share with the Roth Army family the questions I (with some help from Sarge) came up with for what would have been the interview of all interviews.
Live in front of your baked and beaming peepers the questions that made "Big" Ed shake his bald head.
Questions for Big Ed:
About Ed
Most DLR fans know the name Big Ed from Roth legend but for those who don't, what was your role with Dave and how did you guys meet?
When Dave wasn’t touring or recording what were your duties?
You get rave reviews from Roth fans that have met you during the Club Dave days. Pretty cool to be a cult fan favorite huh?
You were credited as being the Director for Dave’s 1995 “Ice Cream Man” video. What was it like to go from Bodyguard to Manager to Director?
After you shit, shower and shave what is a standard Big Ed day like?
As Bodyguard and Manager you were the ringmaster of backstage insanity. We have a few questions related to that experience:
A. What is the most pathetic thing a woman has ever done to get backstage?
B. What do you make of the guys who would beg to get backstage?
C. Did you ever have to kick anyone’s ass?
D. Did you ever score any road trim from groupies trying to meet Dave?
Honestly, with all of Dave’s martial arts training could he have beaten you down?
How do you feel about Dave at this very moment? Do you ever feel like punching yourself in the nuts because people ask about him too much?
In several interviews Dave talked about taking you all over the world on adventures that make Indiana Jones look like a wilted pussy. Did he ever get you into anything that was dangerous?
Fans assume Dave has piles of cash sitting around that he wipes his ass with. How financially secure is he really? What is his net worth?
Was the pay good working for Dave or is he another cheap ass from the Gene Simmons school of pinch every last penny until it squeaks?
When you were Manager supreme did either you are Dave turn anything down that ended up being huge?
Clear the air for us: explain how you get sued by DLR for setting up a website to sell merchandise when Dave approved it all? Why not counter sue to clear your name?
Have you two ever spoken again since that incident? Do you feel like you've lost a good friend or good riddance fucker?
Have you ever drank too much, passed out and shit your pants like a filthy animal?
Dave as a person
What is Dave like under the Diamond persona? Is he really the confident rock star with a plan or is he completely different from what his fans would expect?
Is Dave ever on the Roth Army or other fan sites? I've heard he is not that computer savvy and I find that a bit hard to believe.
Does Dave actually dislike the fans and only view us as a meal ticket?
How long has he had obsessive compulsive and bipolar disorder? Do you know what meds he takes to manage his manic mood swings?
Have you ever seen Dave strike out at anyone in anger?
What was Dave’s relationship like with his parents?
Does Dave actually believe his own hype or is it all for show? How does he rationalize being a legend?
What does DLR like to do in his spare time?
When critics say Dave can't sing anymore how would you respond? Has he ever expressed concerns about his voice being shot?
Since the man is well known for letting off steam with a little green, just how fried is Dave?
On The Howard Stern Show Dave once said his diet was pretty bland. Does he really stick to clean foods or does he really supersize it?
Rumors float around about DLR all the time. One of the most infamous is that he is bisexual and enjoys the company of pre-op shemales. Have you ever seen him with a chick who has an adams apple?
Did Dave's hair loss ever effect his confidence? Did he ever talk about it with you?
I have some DLR hair opinions; please tell me how well I did and exactly what Dave had strapped, weaved or grafted into his scalp during the following tours/events:
EEAS (Mezro says: a wig/weave for the top) -
Skyscraper (Mezro says: nothing except the bandanna/hats to cover up; may have had some transplant work started)-
ALAE - (Mezro says: plugs, more transplant work on the top that allowed him to start combing over. Extensions for length)
YFLM - (Mezro says: nothing; transplants fully in and comb over now a way of life)
The 1996 VH MTV reunion - (Mezro says: weave on top to thicken up hair)
Does Dave get aggravated if people don’t recognize him in public?
Has Dave ever “hogged it” with a sloppy fat chick?
In your opinion what was Dave’s biggest accomplishment and largest blunder?
Were they any musicians that Dave hated or talked smack about all the time?
Van Halen
Spray some special sauce and spill some unique thoughts on each member of VH. Tell us one thing about each band member the fans would never expect.
Have you ever had any sort of deep conversation with either Ed or AL?
When Dave was in VH did Ed, Al or Fat Mikey ever talk smack about him to you?
Any truth that the brothers would gang fuck groupies and Al would chow down on a cream pie freshly baked by Ed?
Have you ever seen any members of Van Halen get into a fist fight?
In private moments with you has Dave ever admitted that leaving Van Halen was a career mistake? Has he ever cried about it?
What really went down when the band broke up? Set the record straight for us all.
How did Dave react when he found out he was being replaced by Sammy Hagar?
Did Dave have any thoughts about Sam as a person at that point?
Has DLR ever experienced true horror by listening to a Van Hagar CD? If so, what was his opinion?
Has Dave ever tried to sing a Van Hagar song just to fuck around?
Did Dave consider the OU812 title a jab at him?
Does Dave consider Ted Templeman a traitor for working with Van Hagar on the F.U.C.K CD?
Do you know if Edward has ever listened to a DLR solo CD or tried to play a DLR solo song?
Is it true the Van Halen brothers hate your fucking guts? If so why?
Did Dave ever hook up with Val? If so, was Val a hairy little monkey south of the border? Just how much of a "Yoko" is Val?
When Dave poked Al's ex-wife did he nail her in the brown eye?
It seems to me that Alex is the reason Dave in not back with VH. Is he the prick who keeps slamming the door shut or is Dave's ego getting in the way?
Who did/does Dave have the best relationship with in VH?
When they recorded the new Best of tracks at 5150 were all 4 of them ever in the studio together? Was there noticeable tension or flashes of the classic chemistry?
Were there any other tracks recorded other than CGTSNM and MWM? I keep hearing rumors of a third tune called "Blood From A Stone" that ended up being used with Gary Cherone.
Was it the "this night is about me" comment to Edward at the VMAs in 1996 that blew the reunion to pieces? Did Dave really say it in the first place?
Do you have any idea how much money was being offered for a VH reunion tour after they appeared at the VMAs?
How did Dave first find out Gary Cherone was in? Did Ed call him or were the brothers silent scumbags and let he press do their dirty work for them?
Did Dave ever have any contact with Gary while Cherone was in VH?
When the VHIII tour started tanking like infected rectal steak was there ever any discussion of bringing Dave in to salvage it?
Any clue what brought Dave and Eddie back together in 2000 and 2002? Do you know what work (if any) was completed and do you have a theory as to why didn’t things work out?
DLR SOLO
As a solo artist were Dave’s musicians allowed to contact him directly or did they have to go through you?
The fan favorite EEAS band: how much were each of those guys getting paid and what sort of incentives or bonuses did Dave offer?
During the recording sessions was it apparent that any of the guys were already unhappy with "control freak" Dave?
Is there any truth that Billy Sheehan keep trying to push his belief in Scientology on Ted (Templeman) and Dave?
At what point during the tour did Dave and Steve have their first real blow up? What was it about and how was it resolved?
Did Steve Vai ever start to crack or feel pressure with all the fan expectation and Eddie comparisons? Was there ever consideration of replacing his ass during the tour?
Pre-concert did the band see Dave put on his wig or was that done in a secret location of synthetic hair solitude?
Did Dave's wig ever shift during a live performance or fall off? Who was the wig handler and how much was he/she paid?
Did you ever see Billy actually score a groupie with your own eyes? Hard to believe he got anything but Steve's flex-able leftovers.
I'm not a big fan of the Skyscraper release due to how "polished" it sounds. Wasn't this the reason Billy packed his bags and went home during the sessions?
Why did Dave and Steve Vai produce Skyscraper? Were they unhappy with Templeman or was Dave just trying to save a buck?
What was the last thing Billy said to Dave before he left and what was Dave's reply?
Matt Bissonette looks like a flame broiled douche bag in the "Just Like Paradise" video. Was the only reason Dave hired him to keep Gregg happy?
Who the fuck thought that the Stand Up video was a good idea?
Who the fuck thought that Dave's giant forehead covering bandanna along with a comb over was a good idea?
Did Brett Tuggle travel on the tour bus or was he forced to drive himself from gig to gig in the Tuggle Mobile?
End of the line for the Skyscraper tour and Steve tells Dave he quits. What is Dave's reaction and what were his exact words to you about the situation?
Where were the ALAE guitarist auditions held and who showed up? Did anybody nail the job only to be eliminated from contention due to a shitty personality?
Jason Becker was pretty green when he got the gig. Did Dave grossly under pay him?
Becker was an amazing player; why have Steve Hunter lay down rhythm when Jason could have pulled double duty?
If Dave was so happy with his previous attempt at producing why hire Bob Rock? How well did Bob and Dave get along?
There are no pictures of David in the ALAE insert/CD booklet. Was this due to his hair loss and the beating he was taking about it in the media? How did he feel when SNL called him on it during a segment of Weekend Update?
How did Joe Holmes pop up and why did Dave hire a guitarist who played VH tunes like feces without fingers?
What homeless shelter loaned you Desi Rexx for the tour? Is this the same human tampon who played in Chicago glam band Diamond Rexx?
From the first show it was obvious that DLR was only drawing less than a half full house. Was there ever any discussion about moving to smaller venues or canceling the tour entirely?
Wasn't this about the time Dave tried to get back into Van Halen? Did he make a call or just run into Ed?
YFLM is both brilliant and an abortion at the same time. Who's idea was this direction and did Nile Rodgers convince Dave that he needed to be more of an adult contemporary artist?
What kind of coin did Nile get for helping Dave morph into a lounge lizard?
The YFLM tour was a scaled down trek to small clubs and venues. How did Dave's ego handle playing to an audience the size of a pancake house?
Terry Kilgore got the big fluffy axe half way through the tour. Why did Dave send that crumb eating scrub packing?
Who told Dave to wear overalls on stage? What does farming have to do with party rock?
What was your reaction to Dave’s interview segment on Leno? He was trashed in the press for it, wasn’t that funny and Robin Williams made him look like a dick. Was he hyped on coke? What went wrong? How did DLR feel about it afterwards?
Vegas and the TeaBag Slammers seemed like more of an act of desperation than a guided career choice. Where was Dave's head at during that phase?
The show was trashed in reviews, had poor attendance and ended its run pretty damn fast. This has been called the lowest point of DLR's career; did he ever consider suicide?
We all know what comes next: the 2 best of VH tunes and the VMAs. What was Dave's next career mover before the Van Halen situation came together?
Was an EEAS band reunion seriously considered right after the VH reunion fiasco? What (or who) were the stumbling blocks to making that happen?
How did the Carmine Appice/Billy Sheehan collaboration fall apart? I thought they rehearsed a few times with Dave and had committed to working with him?
John Lowery was working with Rob Halford on the Two project. How was Dave able to pry him away for the DLR Band CD?
Did Dave throw Mike Hartman a bone due to the Steve Vai connection? Why was Mr. Black Glue fired?
What sort of compensation did John and Mike Hartman get for their contribution to the CD?
Why does the final DLR Band mix sound like muddy feces smeared on a 30 cent cracker? Do you think Erwin Musper shot a shitty load on this project?
The DLR Band CD numbers have been fluffed up pretty high. How many units were actually moved?
Bert/Bart Walsh: what is your opinion of this wig wearing salad tosser?
Did Dave pay close attention to album/CD sales during his solo career?
Did you see DLR perform on with the Boston Pops on 4th of July? How did you feel about the performance and that Dave has adopted the YFLM/Vegas image again?
Were there any major mistakes that Dave made during his solo career? What could/should have he have done differently to stay on top?
MISC QUESTIONS
Who were TK/The Keepers? Are these the same ad guys that sued David ? If so, why did Dave stiff them?
How much of what TK/The Keepers said on Slawterhouse and The David Lee Roth Mailing List was authorized by Dave and how much was them just blowing smoke?
Was there ever any content they posted that Dave objected to?
Did Dave ever contact Grant Fisher (ex-Van Halen News Desk) or Brad Starks (VH webmaster) personally? Did he ever piss either of them off?
It seems that Dave likes to sue people left and right. When was the last time he lost in litigation?
Dave banged porn stars like they were free airline snacks. Name 6 that we may have heard of.
Any chance Dave blew a load on Madonna or Cyndi Lauper back in the day?
Myth or reality: did Dave ever work on a project (or discuss one) with Slash?
Mezro...how many questions was "Big" Ed willing to answer?...zero is his hero...
Long story short: he did not want to answer our questions because it might "retard his growth" in the music industry.
So I decided to share with the Roth Army family the questions I (with some help from Sarge) came up with for what would have been the interview of all interviews.
Live in front of your baked and beaming peepers the questions that made "Big" Ed shake his bald head.
Questions for Big Ed:
About Ed
Most DLR fans know the name Big Ed from Roth legend but for those who don't, what was your role with Dave and how did you guys meet?
When Dave wasn’t touring or recording what were your duties?
You get rave reviews from Roth fans that have met you during the Club Dave days. Pretty cool to be a cult fan favorite huh?
You were credited as being the Director for Dave’s 1995 “Ice Cream Man” video. What was it like to go from Bodyguard to Manager to Director?
After you shit, shower and shave what is a standard Big Ed day like?
As Bodyguard and Manager you were the ringmaster of backstage insanity. We have a few questions related to that experience:
A. What is the most pathetic thing a woman has ever done to get backstage?
B. What do you make of the guys who would beg to get backstage?
C. Did you ever have to kick anyone’s ass?
D. Did you ever score any road trim from groupies trying to meet Dave?
Honestly, with all of Dave’s martial arts training could he have beaten you down?
How do you feel about Dave at this very moment? Do you ever feel like punching yourself in the nuts because people ask about him too much?
In several interviews Dave talked about taking you all over the world on adventures that make Indiana Jones look like a wilted pussy. Did he ever get you into anything that was dangerous?
Fans assume Dave has piles of cash sitting around that he wipes his ass with. How financially secure is he really? What is his net worth?
Was the pay good working for Dave or is he another cheap ass from the Gene Simmons school of pinch every last penny until it squeaks?
When you were Manager supreme did either you are Dave turn anything down that ended up being huge?
Clear the air for us: explain how you get sued by DLR for setting up a website to sell merchandise when Dave approved it all? Why not counter sue to clear your name?
Have you two ever spoken again since that incident? Do you feel like you've lost a good friend or good riddance fucker?
Have you ever drank too much, passed out and shit your pants like a filthy animal?
Dave as a person
What is Dave like under the Diamond persona? Is he really the confident rock star with a plan or is he completely different from what his fans would expect?
Is Dave ever on the Roth Army or other fan sites? I've heard he is not that computer savvy and I find that a bit hard to believe.
Does Dave actually dislike the fans and only view us as a meal ticket?
How long has he had obsessive compulsive and bipolar disorder? Do you know what meds he takes to manage his manic mood swings?
Have you ever seen Dave strike out at anyone in anger?
What was Dave’s relationship like with his parents?
Does Dave actually believe his own hype or is it all for show? How does he rationalize being a legend?
What does DLR like to do in his spare time?
When critics say Dave can't sing anymore how would you respond? Has he ever expressed concerns about his voice being shot?
Since the man is well known for letting off steam with a little green, just how fried is Dave?
On The Howard Stern Show Dave once said his diet was pretty bland. Does he really stick to clean foods or does he really supersize it?
Rumors float around about DLR all the time. One of the most infamous is that he is bisexual and enjoys the company of pre-op shemales. Have you ever seen him with a chick who has an adams apple?
Did Dave's hair loss ever effect his confidence? Did he ever talk about it with you?
I have some DLR hair opinions; please tell me how well I did and exactly what Dave had strapped, weaved or grafted into his scalp during the following tours/events:
EEAS (Mezro says: a wig/weave for the top) -
Skyscraper (Mezro says: nothing except the bandanna/hats to cover up; may have had some transplant work started)-
ALAE - (Mezro says: plugs, more transplant work on the top that allowed him to start combing over. Extensions for length)
YFLM - (Mezro says: nothing; transplants fully in and comb over now a way of life)
The 1996 VH MTV reunion - (Mezro says: weave on top to thicken up hair)
Does Dave get aggravated if people don’t recognize him in public?
Has Dave ever “hogged it” with a sloppy fat chick?
In your opinion what was Dave’s biggest accomplishment and largest blunder?
Were they any musicians that Dave hated or talked smack about all the time?
Van Halen
Spray some special sauce and spill some unique thoughts on each member of VH. Tell us one thing about each band member the fans would never expect.
Have you ever had any sort of deep conversation with either Ed or AL?
When Dave was in VH did Ed, Al or Fat Mikey ever talk smack about him to you?
Any truth that the brothers would gang fuck groupies and Al would chow down on a cream pie freshly baked by Ed?
Have you ever seen any members of Van Halen get into a fist fight?
In private moments with you has Dave ever admitted that leaving Van Halen was a career mistake? Has he ever cried about it?
What really went down when the band broke up? Set the record straight for us all.
How did Dave react when he found out he was being replaced by Sammy Hagar?
Did Dave have any thoughts about Sam as a person at that point?
Has DLR ever experienced true horror by listening to a Van Hagar CD? If so, what was his opinion?
Has Dave ever tried to sing a Van Hagar song just to fuck around?
Did Dave consider the OU812 title a jab at him?
Does Dave consider Ted Templeman a traitor for working with Van Hagar on the F.U.C.K CD?
Do you know if Edward has ever listened to a DLR solo CD or tried to play a DLR solo song?
Is it true the Van Halen brothers hate your fucking guts? If so why?
Did Dave ever hook up with Val? If so, was Val a hairy little monkey south of the border? Just how much of a "Yoko" is Val?
When Dave poked Al's ex-wife did he nail her in the brown eye?
It seems to me that Alex is the reason Dave in not back with VH. Is he the prick who keeps slamming the door shut or is Dave's ego getting in the way?
Who did/does Dave have the best relationship with in VH?
When they recorded the new Best of tracks at 5150 were all 4 of them ever in the studio together? Was there noticeable tension or flashes of the classic chemistry?
Were there any other tracks recorded other than CGTSNM and MWM? I keep hearing rumors of a third tune called "Blood From A Stone" that ended up being used with Gary Cherone.
Was it the "this night is about me" comment to Edward at the VMAs in 1996 that blew the reunion to pieces? Did Dave really say it in the first place?
Do you have any idea how much money was being offered for a VH reunion tour after they appeared at the VMAs?
How did Dave first find out Gary Cherone was in? Did Ed call him or were the brothers silent scumbags and let he press do their dirty work for them?
Did Dave ever have any contact with Gary while Cherone was in VH?
When the VHIII tour started tanking like infected rectal steak was there ever any discussion of bringing Dave in to salvage it?
Any clue what brought Dave and Eddie back together in 2000 and 2002? Do you know what work (if any) was completed and do you have a theory as to why didn’t things work out?
DLR SOLO
As a solo artist were Dave’s musicians allowed to contact him directly or did they have to go through you?
The fan favorite EEAS band: how much were each of those guys getting paid and what sort of incentives or bonuses did Dave offer?
During the recording sessions was it apparent that any of the guys were already unhappy with "control freak" Dave?
Is there any truth that Billy Sheehan keep trying to push his belief in Scientology on Ted (Templeman) and Dave?
At what point during the tour did Dave and Steve have their first real blow up? What was it about and how was it resolved?
Did Steve Vai ever start to crack or feel pressure with all the fan expectation and Eddie comparisons? Was there ever consideration of replacing his ass during the tour?
Pre-concert did the band see Dave put on his wig or was that done in a secret location of synthetic hair solitude?
Did Dave's wig ever shift during a live performance or fall off? Who was the wig handler and how much was he/she paid?
Did you ever see Billy actually score a groupie with your own eyes? Hard to believe he got anything but Steve's flex-able leftovers.
I'm not a big fan of the Skyscraper release due to how "polished" it sounds. Wasn't this the reason Billy packed his bags and went home during the sessions?
Why did Dave and Steve Vai produce Skyscraper? Were they unhappy with Templeman or was Dave just trying to save a buck?
What was the last thing Billy said to Dave before he left and what was Dave's reply?
Matt Bissonette looks like a flame broiled douche bag in the "Just Like Paradise" video. Was the only reason Dave hired him to keep Gregg happy?
Who the fuck thought that the Stand Up video was a good idea?
Who the fuck thought that Dave's giant forehead covering bandanna along with a comb over was a good idea?
Did Brett Tuggle travel on the tour bus or was he forced to drive himself from gig to gig in the Tuggle Mobile?
End of the line for the Skyscraper tour and Steve tells Dave he quits. What is Dave's reaction and what were his exact words to you about the situation?
Where were the ALAE guitarist auditions held and who showed up? Did anybody nail the job only to be eliminated from contention due to a shitty personality?
Jason Becker was pretty green when he got the gig. Did Dave grossly under pay him?
Becker was an amazing player; why have Steve Hunter lay down rhythm when Jason could have pulled double duty?
If Dave was so happy with his previous attempt at producing why hire Bob Rock? How well did Bob and Dave get along?
There are no pictures of David in the ALAE insert/CD booklet. Was this due to his hair loss and the beating he was taking about it in the media? How did he feel when SNL called him on it during a segment of Weekend Update?
How did Joe Holmes pop up and why did Dave hire a guitarist who played VH tunes like feces without fingers?
What homeless shelter loaned you Desi Rexx for the tour? Is this the same human tampon who played in Chicago glam band Diamond Rexx?
From the first show it was obvious that DLR was only drawing less than a half full house. Was there ever any discussion about moving to smaller venues or canceling the tour entirely?
Wasn't this about the time Dave tried to get back into Van Halen? Did he make a call or just run into Ed?
YFLM is both brilliant and an abortion at the same time. Who's idea was this direction and did Nile Rodgers convince Dave that he needed to be more of an adult contemporary artist?
What kind of coin did Nile get for helping Dave morph into a lounge lizard?
The YFLM tour was a scaled down trek to small clubs and venues. How did Dave's ego handle playing to an audience the size of a pancake house?
Terry Kilgore got the big fluffy axe half way through the tour. Why did Dave send that crumb eating scrub packing?
Who told Dave to wear overalls on stage? What does farming have to do with party rock?
What was your reaction to Dave’s interview segment on Leno? He was trashed in the press for it, wasn’t that funny and Robin Williams made him look like a dick. Was he hyped on coke? What went wrong? How did DLR feel about it afterwards?
Vegas and the TeaBag Slammers seemed like more of an act of desperation than a guided career choice. Where was Dave's head at during that phase?
The show was trashed in reviews, had poor attendance and ended its run pretty damn fast. This has been called the lowest point of DLR's career; did he ever consider suicide?
We all know what comes next: the 2 best of VH tunes and the VMAs. What was Dave's next career mover before the Van Halen situation came together?
Was an EEAS band reunion seriously considered right after the VH reunion fiasco? What (or who) were the stumbling blocks to making that happen?
How did the Carmine Appice/Billy Sheehan collaboration fall apart? I thought they rehearsed a few times with Dave and had committed to working with him?
John Lowery was working with Rob Halford on the Two project. How was Dave able to pry him away for the DLR Band CD?
Did Dave throw Mike Hartman a bone due to the Steve Vai connection? Why was Mr. Black Glue fired?
What sort of compensation did John and Mike Hartman get for their contribution to the CD?
Why does the final DLR Band mix sound like muddy feces smeared on a 30 cent cracker? Do you think Erwin Musper shot a shitty load on this project?
The DLR Band CD numbers have been fluffed up pretty high. How many units were actually moved?
Bert/Bart Walsh: what is your opinion of this wig wearing salad tosser?
Did Dave pay close attention to album/CD sales during his solo career?
Did you see DLR perform on with the Boston Pops on 4th of July? How did you feel about the performance and that Dave has adopted the YFLM/Vegas image again?
Were there any major mistakes that Dave made during his solo career? What could/should have he have done differently to stay on top?
MISC QUESTIONS
Who were TK/The Keepers? Are these the same ad guys that sued David ? If so, why did Dave stiff them?
How much of what TK/The Keepers said on Slawterhouse and The David Lee Roth Mailing List was authorized by Dave and how much was them just blowing smoke?
Was there ever any content they posted that Dave objected to?
Did Dave ever contact Grant Fisher (ex-Van Halen News Desk) or Brad Starks (VH webmaster) personally? Did he ever piss either of them off?
It seems that Dave likes to sue people left and right. When was the last time he lost in litigation?
Dave banged porn stars like they were free airline snacks. Name 6 that we may have heard of.
Any chance Dave blew a load on Madonna or Cyndi Lauper back in the day?
Myth or reality: did Dave ever work on a project (or discuss one) with Slash?
Mezro...how many questions was "Big" Ed willing to answer?...zero is his hero...
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