Has this ever happened to you?

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  • Dickface McSlapnuts
    #1

    Has this ever happened to you?

    Ok gang,
    This is the thread to discuss all the sexual bloopers you have had in your life.
    Those of you that have sex that is.
    One time I was having sex with this hot ass chick.
    She was smokin'.
    It was our first date of course.
    We went back to my house.
    We started making love, and I think this chick had watched more than 1 porno movie.

    She started making all these groaning noises, and yipping... like one of those Taco Bell dogs.
    Fuck.. We had sex for almost 3 hours and I couldn't bust my wad.
    The whole time I am having sex it is just sounding like I am skinning a fucking cat.

    Finally I said fuck it and pulled the baseball bat out of her ass..
    Joking.. Finally I said fuck it and gave up.

    She was like "Whats the matter.. Did you cum?"
    I said "Umm.. no.. I can't. All that fucking yelling you did turned me off. Please get the fuck out"
    True story.

    So.. any sexual bloopers or escapades that went the wrong way?
    Tags: happened
    • Viking
      Veteran
      • Jan 2004
      • 1772
      #2
      I accidentally shot nut butter up my old lady's nose tonight. Does that count?

        Comment

        • Dr. Love
          ROTH ARMY SUPREME
          • Jan 2004
          • 7825
          #3
          I was getting a blow job once, when I must have made a noise or something, cause the chick pulled off and said, "What?" right about the time I shot off, hitting her in the eye.
          I've got the cure you're thinkin' of.

          http://i.imgur.com/jBw4fCu.gif

            Comment

            • Panamark
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Jan 2004
              • 17113
              #4
              God. Where do I start.

              How about funny sexual bloopers that have happened to friends of
              mine ? (Yeah, friends !!)

              This one reminds me why Im proud to be Australian.

              These two dudes I knew picked up this chick who wanted them both to do her at the same time. (One in the arse and one in the pussy)
              The two guys are mates, and thought it was ok, except they were worried that their balls would touch, and if they did, that would make them poofters. So in a moment of ingenuity, one of them ripped a piece of cardboard off the side of a Beer carton. Problem solved, they just held the cardboard between their nutsacks (Whilst both fucking the chick) this stopped them from being poofters !!
              BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
              Love ya Mary Frances!

                Comment

                • Sweet Irony
                  She's the Woman
                  Sniper
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 870
                  #5
                  Originally posted by Panamark
                  they just held the cardboard between their nutsacks



                  LOL!!!

                  Ingenuity, for sure----
                  ...livin in the online VH world for 19 years....thanks to a 2 year old.....

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