My shitass job

[Flash Bastard]

Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? My workplace is just like it is in the movie. I hate my job and I've been trying to get fired for some weeks now.

I come in late, leave early and take 2 hour lunches. No one seems to notice or care. Today I played video games all day and did zero work. No one noticed.

I can't think of any creative ways to get fired without being arrested or sued by someone. Anyone have any ideas?

[Elitest]

try sabotaging the catering equipment

[Flash Bastard]

Originally posted by Elitest
try sabotaging the catering equipment

We don't have any. Maybe I could go to work naked and drunk.

hmmmmmmmmm........

[Mr Badguy]

You`re lucky.

I am a driver for one of Great Britain`s finest and oldest institutions (whom we won`t name) and I hate it.

Unfortunately I can`t pack it in thanks to my lovely wife, children and mortgage.

[diamond den™]

Re: My shitass job

Originally posted by Flash Bastard
Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? My workplace is just like it is in the movie. I hate my job and I've been trying to get fired for some weeks now.

I come in late, leave early and take 2 hour lunches. No one seems to notice or care. Today I played video games all day and did zero work. No one noticed.

I can't think of any creative ways to get fired without being arrested or sued by someone. Anyone have any ideas?

Don't get fired. Just do the job really half assed. That's my advice.

[twonabomber]

take a dump on the copy machine. make sure the lid's up, then make copies and post them on everyone's desk.

[Sarge]

Send the boss a fax of your ass..

[Seshmeister]

Originally posted by Mr Badguy
You`re lucky.

I am a driver for one of Great Britain`s finest and oldest institutions (whom we won`t name) and I hate it.

Carstairs???

Cheers!

[Panamark]

Re: My shitass job

Originally posted by Flash Bastard
Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? My workplace is just like it is in the movie. I hate my job and I've been trying to get fired for some weeks now.

I come in late, leave early and take 2 hour lunches. No one seems to notice or care. Today I played video games all day and did zero work. No one noticed.

I can't think of any creative ways to get fired without being arrested or sued by someone. Anyone have any ideas?

Just get later and later and take longer and longer lunches. If they still dont fire you, fuckit ! You've got a great job !!

[GAR]

If you wanna pull

GAR'S SPEC OPS CLANDESTINE OFFICE PISSING

..HERE'S WHAT CHA DO:

1. Go to the Lil' Boys Room
2. Take your empty lunch soda cup, and straw with you in the stall
3. Remove lid
4. Fill cup as much as possible
5. Replace lid.
6. Visiting victims' office or cubicle, you remove lid & scatter urine splashingly, aiming for the uppermost inaccessible corner of ceiling tiles and walls.
7. Dispose of unused drink container in the appropriate trash receptacle in/near victims' workspace.
8. Return to restroom and wash hands before leaving again.

This should succeed in getting you fired. Or beaten. THEN you can go to your doctor and sue for workmans' compensation and get double money: unemployment AND disability insurance.

Please consider the loving care which I chose to document this with all my e-Friends, by emailing this to others.

Tell them GAR7884@KNAC.COM wrote it, so I can dispose of THEIR eLove in the appropriate receptacle.

But remember I love you all here most because I shared it here first. >Gar

[Mr Badguy]

Originally posted by Seshmeister
Carstairs???

Cheers!

I`ll just say that involves having to get up at 4:00 every morning.

Oh well, only about another 30 years until I retire.

[SensibleShoes]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by GAR
[B]If you wanna pull

GAR'S SPEC OPS CLANDESTINE OFFICE PISSING

Now why in the world wouldn't you use feces????? Sometimes the way those cubes smell, you can't tell if you splash urine - I vote for SHIT!

How bout DOG SHIT? MY God if it becomes popular, I've just hit the jackpot on my retirement fund. 10 bucks a bag, peeple. Get you fired in no time.

[Flash Bastard]

All of these are good ideas. I'll consider the ramifications of each one and choose appropriately.

Today I went to work at 11 and left at 2.

[Mr Badguy]

Sheesh, a 15 hour shift!

That sucks, you must be a real company man.

[twonabomber]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by SensibleShoes
[B]

Originally posted by GAR
If you wanna pull

GAR'S SPEC OPS CLANDESTINE OFFICE PISSING

Now why in the world wouldn't you use feces????? Sometimes the way those cubes smell, you can't tell if you splash urine - I vote for SHIT!

How bout DOG SHIT? MY God if it becomes popular, I've just hit the jackpot on my retirement fund. 10 bucks a bag, peeple. Get you fired in no time.

go for the dog shit. don't leave any DNA in the victim's office.