The worst thing you have ever said to another person

[Shaun Ponsonby]

What is the worst thing you have ever said to another human being?

A couple of weeks ago I went to see Yngwie Malmsteen in Manchester, and there was this Big Issue seller outside (remember Big Issue=homeless person). And I could hear him saying to everyone "Put a smile on a homeless person's face", meaning, "Buy a Big Issue". So, I thought "I'll tell a joke, be sarcastic with the guy". So, he comes up to me...

HOMELESS GUY: "Could you put a smile on a homeless person's face?"

ME: "Yea, of course I can. Knock, knock"

Fuck! He hasn't got a door for me to knock on.

His face looked like this-

[Golden AWe]

"i'm not gonna bang you anymore"

[Shaun Ponsonby]

[Hardrock69]

When a new owner took over my company, I told him the following, knowing he was a devout Christian:

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

A picture of Jesus only requires one nail.....

He was not amused.

As he is the man who now signs my paychecks, I later apologized.

[Matt White]

"The worst thing you have ever said to another person?"

"GOODNIGHT".

[guwapo_rocker]

Re: The worst thing you have ever said to another person

Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
What is the worst thing you have ever said to another human being?

Will you marry me?
































Not you Shaun.

[fryingdutchman]

"Your breath stinks!! Did your proctologist ever stick his finger in your mouth by mistake?"

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Re: Re: The worst thing you have ever said to another person

Originally posted by guwapo_rocker
Will you marry me?


Not you Shaun.

Damn, getting excited then.

Actually, scrap that, too homosexual.

[blonddgirl777]

This really old man was too way old to drive, and was in the lane beside me, on the road...
It was a slow boulevard.

He was so out of it that he didn't reasise that he was slowly overlapping my lane, causing me to either:
let him hit me or end up in the ditch...

It was summer, all windows rolled down and I yelled at him:
"Get the fuck out of the road, you impotant old bastard... go back to the hospital..."!

I felt really bad afterwards but there should be a law that would re-adjust some elderlies right to drive...
for everybody's sake!

Without the proper reflexes, one can be dangerous, just like a drunk driver.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
I felt really bad afterwards but there should be a law that would re-adjust some elderlies right to drive...
for everybody's sake!

No, that isn't bad, my dad did something similar a few years ago. We were stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway, and it turns out that it was all caused by an old guy driving very slowly and moving from lane to lane.

When we finally got up front he yelled at him "So, it was YOU was it, you stupid geriatric cunt".

The guy looked shocked at my dad's choice of words.

[blonddgirl777]

I mean, I feel bad because the're old and diserve respect, but they should know their own limits and quit driving before they hurt someone...

[Golden AWe]

"you look like katydid"

[Golden AWe]

"no, we're not listening to my vh-vinyls"

[Jérôme Frenchise]

"Wooaaarrrgh!! Now get your fuckin' fingers outta your assholes, you crappy bunch of morons, the fuckin' ligths are fuckin' GREEEEEEEEN AAAAARRRRGH!!!"
Not long ago, I was almost late for a meeting. All my windows, including the wide sunroof, were open... What a relief!

A madman will come out almost every time I drive.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Originally posted by blonddgirl777
I mean, I feel bad because the're old and diserve respect, but they should know their own limits and quit driving before they hurt someone...

Why should they just be GIVEN respect because they are old?

I was eating lunch in a shopping centre one day, and this old guy was yelling from about 50 yards away "Is this the way to Stanley Road?". I didn't know he was talking to me, he was 50 yards away. Then I looked up and he was yelling at ME. "Oi, you, is this the way to Stanley Road?"

I said "Sorry, erm, I think you can go either way," and I carried on eating and talking o my good friend (not at the same time, mind).

But, no, he shouts again "Oi, you deaf twat, is this the way to Stanley Road?"

Me- "You can go either way"

HIM-"You fucking stupid kid, I asked you about 50 FUCKING times, then"

ME-"Sorry, I couldn't hear you" (getting a bit angry now)

Then, and this shocked me, he whacked the wall with his walking stick and yelled "I'll fucking stick this down your fucking throat, you stupid fucking bastard."

Now, I don't usaully swear at people I don't know in the street. But, I'm not gonna let this old guy, who is demanding respect because he is old, and that is what he was doing, to swear at me for no good reason.

So, I yelled back at him "Oh, fuck off, will you, you old cripple"

HIM- "How DARE you speak to me like that (despite the fact that he was speaking to ME like that). I told you I'll stick this fucking thing down your fucking throat."

ME- "I'm telling you, mate, you touch me in any way, and I'll fucking sue you."

HIM "You wouldn't dare"

ME-"Hit me, then, and we'll find out."

Then, he just walked off mumbling to himself. My good friend stayed silent throughout the whole thing.

There is another guy who lives round these ways who keeps yelling at the kids to stop playing football. Pitts his name is, Mr Pitts. Says he will phone the police. What the fuck are the police going to do? Can you imagine it?

PITTS-"Yea, there are kids playing outside."
POLICE-"Yea, so?"
PITTS-"So, stop them"

Seriously, the kids' age range is about 6-14.

There isn't even a sign that says 'No Ball Games'.

So, I don't really give old people respect unless they show it to others as well. Very few of them do.

I hate people who say "Aren't old people lovely?" Yea, well, some of them are, but some of them are bastards. The ones who were bastards when they were young tend to become old bastards.