The funniest thing that has happened while having sex

[Nitro Express]

When I was in my early 20's I was really pounding the hell out of this girl doggy style and her bed came loose from the headboard and the both of us crashed into the wall. She thumped her head real good on the metal headboard when the both of us were thrown forward.

[blonddgirl777]

When my husband and I are doing it in the bed, my cat jumps in and gets really close to "the action"...
Sits there and stares!

No, no... no bestiality here!

It is so funny when she does that, but a major turn off as well...
Especially, that she tries to get closer to smell, so we have to interrupt.

:(

[Mr Badguy]

I was having a wank and my gran walked in...with the local vicar.

[Angel]

Mr. Badguy wins!

[stringfelowhawk]

In high school, one of my female friends and I got a little frisky after a few rum and cokes. We were not together and neither of us had ever considered getting together. We really were just friends before this night. We ended up calling each others bluff. Needless to say, when we realized neither was gonna bluff she hopped on and started riding me bareback. I found out she was a natural blonde by the way. Anyways, after about 30 mins it gets very sloppy and I heard her queaf or at least that's what I thought until the smell hit me. We both started laughing but kept going. That was the only time we slept together but I remember thinking next time I'll just grab a dead corpse smelling "scratch and sniff" sticker and put it under my nose to kill that scent.

Hell, I'm no doctor. I'm no vet either but I know a horse's ass when I smell one!
It stank so bad that if she were fishing in the Gulf Of Mexico it'd make Jaws throw his teeth in the boat and say, "Fuck it, I'm givin up raw meat"!

[Matt White]

In college...first year in the dorms....

Me and this larvely young lady are getting down in the top bunk!














:DThe bunk-bed broke! CRASH! BANG! POW!

We resumed on the floor!:D

My room-mate looked a little pissed off the next day when he got back from home and the room was ROTHED!!!:D

[BenJammin]

I was getting a blowjob from a lady I knew up the street, and her husband walked in and caught us.

We all just laughed and laughed.

Good times, I tell ya.

[PenguinsKID1986]

Busted a nut in a chicks mouth, she threw up on my dick. I remember thinking Damn thats a big load. although it wasn't funny it is a good story to tell the boys some nights around the campfire. Her name was Tracy

[ashstralia]

okay, here goes.

i was young, mmmkay?

this lovely girl is sucking my doodle.

i says to her, 'i'm gonna come!' because i didn't know whether she likes
man cream.

she looks up at me, my peenie is looking at me, i spunked all over myself.
then she licked it all off, and kissed me.

[spmusicplyr]

licked it off and kissed you? thats sick...

i'll tell ya one thing thats funny involving sex.

there was this one girl that came over to my vacation home in palm springs and fucked me..her friend fucked my buddy after that.

i came in the master bedroom while they were plowing and took a mean, loud, raunchy shit with the bathroom door open (keep in mind that the bathroom was 10 feet from the bed) while they were going at it....

my friend was drunk and laughed so hard that he cut a fart....the girl was flat out disgusted.

now THAT is comedy

[HELLVIS]

Okay, it was about 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning, in the middle of the week. Must have been late summer/early fall last year. The wife and I were trying to put our headboard through the wall. I'm on my knees, straddling my wife's inner left thigh, with her right leg up my chest and over my left shoulder. It's oh my god..Oh My God..OH MYYYY GOD!!!
When suddenly though the open window the sound of our creaky gate opening, reduces the moment to "OH MYYYyyy... did you hear that?"
I flipped her leg off my shoulder and sprang from the bed. I went to the window and looked out.

To my shock I saw a very very drunk woman in my yard, carrying something under her arm. As I looked more closely at this aqua net, hair helmeted, red mulleted stick figure wearing camofage army shorts and a Larry The Cable Guy looking sleevless flannel shirt, I was horrified to see my cat tucked tightly into her, no doubt, sweaty armpit.
We began to snicker as we watched this budwieser zombie begin to stagger around our yard and begin collecting our belongings as if she were THE JERK. First, as stated, she took our cat. Then she began to drag my 4 year old son's tricycle. Next, she took our mastiff's nylon bone. She stumbled and fell several times. Each time she would gather what she had dropped , get back up and stagger around some more until she had taken just about everything that wasn't nailed down.
Then, the little pirate began to stagger up the middle of the street with the booty, no doubt on her way back to a Jolly Roger adorned pirate ship which was surely docked somewhere nearby. No! She just began going door to door knocking and screaming/slurring "Let me in motherfucker"! Three doors down a door opened and she was threatened with a call to the police. She then dropped our cat and other belongings and loped off into the night.