Matt White
09-15-2005, 12:26 PM
By NICK JEFFREYS
TOKYO -- A new health threat is sweeping the Land of the Rising Sun and headed to America.
"We're calling it Mad Fish Disease," said Dr. Shinobu Hashimoto of Tokyo's Institute for Infectious Diseases. "When a person is exposed to the XK2 Virus through tainted seafood, his biological system undergoes a metamorphosis. He will go to any lengths to get wet."
According to Hashimoto, there are reports of fully clothed MFD sufferers leaping into public fountains, restaurant diners pouring glasses of water over their own heads, and car accidents caused by drivers speeding to the coastline.
A small-town doctor in a remote village reported the first case of MFD.
"The physician had no idea what he was dealing with," said Hashimoto. "I flew to the location and the patient, Takashi Shimura, was mad with the urge to get wet. The poor fellow tried to squeeze into his office water cooler, soak his feet in the sink of the rest room and sponge himself at his desk. At home, he sleeps outside in his children's plastic pool.
"The patient was terrified by his overwhelming need but he could not stop. I examined him and isolated the virus. After questioning him about his eating habits and examining his left- overs, we found the virus in a fish cake he had eaten two nights before."
Ascertaining that the virus was alkaloid based -- distantly related to nicotine and present in deep-sea tobacco weed ingested by the fish -- Dr. Hashimoto sent Shimura to a substance abuse center. After completing the 12-week program, the patient was clean.
"We have put out media warnings to advise people to stop eating fish from this region until we can develop an antitoxin -- or at least a patch," said Hashimoto.
TOKYO -- A new health threat is sweeping the Land of the Rising Sun and headed to America.
"We're calling it Mad Fish Disease," said Dr. Shinobu Hashimoto of Tokyo's Institute for Infectious Diseases. "When a person is exposed to the XK2 Virus through tainted seafood, his biological system undergoes a metamorphosis. He will go to any lengths to get wet."
According to Hashimoto, there are reports of fully clothed MFD sufferers leaping into public fountains, restaurant diners pouring glasses of water over their own heads, and car accidents caused by drivers speeding to the coastline.
A small-town doctor in a remote village reported the first case of MFD.
"The physician had no idea what he was dealing with," said Hashimoto. "I flew to the location and the patient, Takashi Shimura, was mad with the urge to get wet. The poor fellow tried to squeeze into his office water cooler, soak his feet in the sink of the rest room and sponge himself at his desk. At home, he sleeps outside in his children's plastic pool.
"The patient was terrified by his overwhelming need but he could not stop. I examined him and isolated the virus. After questioning him about his eating habits and examining his left- overs, we found the virus in a fish cake he had eaten two nights before."
Ascertaining that the virus was alkaloid based -- distantly related to nicotine and present in deep-sea tobacco weed ingested by the fish -- Dr. Hashimoto sent Shimura to a substance abuse center. After completing the 12-week program, the patient was clean.
"We have put out media warnings to advise people to stop eating fish from this region until we can develop an antitoxin -- or at least a patch," said Hashimoto.