I just watched a possum bust it's fucking ass.

[rustoffa]

So I go out on the deck a few minutes ago to take a leak, and there's a possum on the rail. I didn't know the fucker was there until like mid-stream. It started making this hissing noise, and for one fleeting second I thought the noise was my piss pressurization.

I fucking stood there and finished taking my leak staring @ the thing. Like anyone else with a remote cuntrol, I've seen my share of animal shows....Mutual Of Omaha, Lassie, Mr. Ed, etc.

I don't really have alot of respect for possums. Generally, you see 'em runthefuckover on the road or just lurking and shit.

This particular possum had character. So it's still sitting there after I get through taking a leak and I'm like in some sort of Beastmaster mode. I turn around and grab the catfood dish and attempt to hand-feed the motherfucker!

In retrospect, that was a foolish thing to do, and I'm lucky I didn't get bit-the-shit-out-of.

So the fucker starts hissing again and decides to jump from the rail onto the wrought iron table...that didn't work out to well. As soon as the fucker hit the table, the table turned over and landed right on top of the little bastard. This shit is unfolding in front of me like a merry melodies short.

Being more than disillusioned with the table plan, the possum goes back to the rail and decides to navigate the handrail going down the steps! That was even worse. The fucker went like one foot and fell onto the steps....just busting it's fucking ass all the way down....the fwa-bumps' were pretty loud. It sat @ the bottom for a few seconds and I threw some cat food down @ it. It just hissed some more and hauled ass.

That fucker 'ell need an aspirin tomorrow.

[Romeo Delight]

I went to Vancouver Zoo today (pretty cool place). Saw siberian tigers catch 2-pound chunks of steak thrown from 100 feet away.

But most amazing thing was one fucking cockroach eating another!
No shit!!! Caretaker of that exhibit said they have to replace them all the time.

[rustoffa]

Originally posted by DavidFlamma
I went to Vancouver Zoo today (pretty cool place). Saw siberian tigers catch 2-pound chunks of steak thrown from 100 feet away.

But most amazing thing was one fucking cockroach eating another!
No shit!!! Caretaker of that exhibit said they have to replace them all the time.

Was it those fucking hissing cockroaches? Maybe I'm thinking of toads or some shit...

[Romeo Delight]

Originally posted by rustoffa
Was it those fucking hissing cockroaches? Maybe I'm thinking of toads or some shit...

Yep...maintaining their sustainable population just like republican political agenda!

[Cathedral]

Re: I just watched a possum bust it's fucking ass.

Originally posted by rustoffa
So I go out on the deck a few minutes ago to take a leak, and there's a possum on the rail. I didn't know the fucker was there until like mid-stream. It started making this hissing noise, and for one fleeting second I thought the noise was my piss pressurization.

I fucking stood there and finished taking my leak staring @ the thing. Like anyone else with a remote cuntrol, I've seen my share of animal shows....Mutual Of Omaha, Lassie, Mr. Ed, etc.

I don't really have alot of respect for possums. Generally, you see 'em runthefuckover on the road or just lurking and shit.

This particular possum had character. So it's still sitting there after I get through taking a leak and I'm like in some sort of Beastmaster mode. I turn around and grab the catfood dish and attempt to hand-feed the motherfucker!

In retrospect, that was a foolish thing to do, and I'm lucky I didn't get bit-the-shit-out-of.

So the fucker starts hissing again and decides to jump from the rail onto the wrought iron table...that didn't work out to well. As soon as the fucker hit the table, the table turned over and landed right on top of the little bastard. This shit is unfolding in front of me like a merry melodies short.

Being more than disillusioned with the table plan, the possum goes back to the rail and decides to navigate the handrail going down the steps! That was even worse. The fucker went like one foot and fell onto the steps....just busting it's fucking ass all the way down....the fwa-bumps' were pretty loud. It sat @ the bottom for a few seconds and I threw some cat food down @ it. It just hissed some more and hauled ass.

That fucker 'ell need an aspirin tomorrow.

Damn, you have the most interesting shit happen to you of anyone else on this site.
I start laughing in the middle of the first line and can't stop to save my life.

I'd have shot that fucker of the rail like a tin can, fuck those little garbage scattering fucks...skunks too.
They're always ripping my trash bags apart so i can clean up after them.

[rustoffa]

Re: Re: I just watched a possum bust it's fucking ass.

Originally posted by Cathedral
Damn, you have the most interesting shit happen to you of anyone else on this site.
I start laughing in the middle of the first line and can't stop to save my life.

I'd have shot that fucker of the rail like a tin can, fuck those little garbage scattering fucks...skunks too.
They're always ripping my trash bags apart so i can clean up after them.

It was fucking weird. I've probably shot anything that has four legs @ one point or the other....it was like some moment of charity. Plus it was really dark out there and shit.

[Hardrock69]

Well, I ran over one with a 22 foot box truck a couple of weeks ago. It is probably just a greasy spot in the middle of the road by now...

[Romeo Delight]

Family of racoons live under my garage out back...

I soon realized this after they ate my garbage, day after day and bought bear-proof garbage can.

Now I hear neighbours cursing in the morning as Family went next door to get their grub.

They were even able to claw through regular garbage can botton whrn I tied top down on regular garbage can.

I don't have the heart to "evict" them and i don't really like my neighbors anyway!

[fret_buzz_blues]

Originally posted by DavidFlamma
Family of racoons live under my garage out back...

I soon realized this after they ate my garbage, day after day and bought bear-proof garbage can.

Now I hear neighbours cursing in the morning as Family went next door to get their grub.

They were even able to claw through regular garbage can botton whrn I tied top down on regular garbage can.

I don't have the heart to "evict" them and i don't really like my neighbors anyway!

HAHA!! My dad would have done the same thing...he hates the neighbors...

[fryingdutchman]

Originally posted by rustoffa
So I go out on the deck a few minutes ago to take a leak, and there's a possum on the rail.

Is there no indoor plumbing in your part of Atlanta??

[Matt White]

I was leaving work the other night...walked by a garbage can which had the bag removed (It was sitting next to the can) by our Ace Janitorial crew....suddenly a small skunk shot out of the garbage bag...right past me....with a white plastic bag stuck to its tail......I almost booted the little bastard like a football...glad I didn't

[Igosplut]

Re: I just watched a possum bust it's fucking ass.

Originally posted by rustoffa
So I go out on the deck a few minutes ago to take a leak, and there's a possum on the rail. I didn't know the fucker was there until like mid-stream. It started making this hissing noise....

Maybe it was a female possum and was giving an opinion on how your hung........

[rustoffa]

Re: Re: I just watched a possum bust it's fucking ass.

Originally posted by Igosplut
Maybe it was a female possum and was giving an opinion on how your hung........

Shit, you've got a point there Igo. I'm glad Dr. Doolittle wasn't around....that would've been weird. Weirdness of the hypothetical situation aside, some interpretation would have been interesting.

Maybe she was asking, "hey..can I climb down that firehose? I'm kinda tired and the steps are a bitch." Or, "when you get through relieving yourself, how 'bout a little marsupial fling? I'll hang from that flagstaff by my tail! You want me to play dead?.....c'mon stud...you like that kinda stuff?"

Yeesh, I just creeped myself out.