Satan's Supermodels

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  • Matt White
    • Jun 2004
    • 20565

    Satan's Supermodels

    By MIKE FOSTER

    ENVIOUS of those flawlessly beautiful supermodels who get paid a fortune to flaunt their fabulous figures in designer clothes? Don't be -- many of them will wind up burning in the fires in Hell for all eternity!

    Shockingly, many top-tier cover girls have signed a pact with the Devil, a leading expert in the occult asserts.

    "Before they sold their souls to Satan, most of these women had faces that would stop a clock -- you'd be stunned at what plain Janes they were," claims Harold Iggleton, author of the upcoming book, Satan's Supermodels: The Untold Story of Devil-Worship in the Fashion Industry.

    'The Evil One used his dark powers to remake these 'nobodies' from top to bottom -- taking away their flabby guts, sagging behinds and oversized schnozzes, while endowing them with high cheekbones, long, shapely legs and tight, toned buns."

    The author refused to name names, saying readers will "have to buy the book" when it hits store shelves in July to find out whether their favorite supermodel is in league with the Devil.

    But as a tantalizing preview, he provided Weekly World News exclusively with stunning "before" photos of the Hellbound glamour girls.

    "One was a lonely fat girl with terrible acne everyone in junior high called 'Pizza Face' until a Goth classmate introduced her to Satanism," he reveals.

    "Another had an okay face, but stood a mere 5-foot-1 -- way too short to be a professional model -- before Satan gave her a 'boost.'"

    But beauty -- and the glamorous lifestyle, fame and fortune enjoyed by supermodels -- comes at a terrible price.

    "In return, the models must engage in unspeakable orgiastic rituals involving human sacrifice plus date really unattractive older Satanist priests," the researcher contends.

    "They must also corrupt the youth of the world by promoting materialism, sexual irresponsibility and other things that Lucifer cherishes."

    Here, from the author, are five signs that your favorite supermodel is a tool of Satan:

    1. Has a romantic relationship with a rock musician. "It's long been established that rock is the Devil's music," Iggleton points out.

    2. Bears the "Devil's Mark." Fashion editors may generously describe a prominent mole or blemish as a "beauty mark," but witch-hunters as far back as medieval times have recognized it as a sign that a person has been marked by Lucifer.

    3. Caught by paparazzi engaged in immoral conduct such as raunchy same-sex dancing.

    4. Never seen in public holding a Bible.

    5. Causes happily married men to have immoral urges. "If your husband comes out of the bathroom red-faced and clutching the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated, you can be sure one of Satan's minions is having an effect on him," Iggleton points out.
  • Satan
    ROTH ARMY ELITE
    • Jan 2004
    • 6664

    #2
    It's all true, of course. Supermodels in Hell for eternity? You really think a Devil's gonna pass up that chance?
    Eternally Under the Authority of Satan

    Originally posted by Sockfucker
    I've been in several mental institutions but not in Bakersfield.

    Comment

    • Matt White
      • Jun 2004
      • 20565

      #3
      Sup Lu, you devil you? I hear you're gonna be my land-lord soon....

      Nice to know that at least there will be some eye candy down there!!!


      "HELL AIN'T A BAD PLACE TO BE"

      Comment

      • Hardrock69
        DIAMOND STATUS
        • Feb 2005
        • 21888

        #4
        That sounds like it was written by Elvis....

        Comment

        • Soul Reaper
          ROTH ARMY SUPREME
          • Jan 2005
          • 8338

          #5
          Originally posted by Satan
          It's all true, of course. Supermodels in Hell for eternity? You really think a Devil's gonna pass up that chance?
          indeed....

          ROTH ARMY YOUTUBE CHANNEL:

          http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=RothArmyVideos

          "May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face." - Frank Zappa to Tipper Gore

          Comment

          • bueno bob
            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Jul 2004
            • 22942

            #6
            Hell ain't a bad place.

            Hell is from here to eternity.
            Twistin' by the pool.

            Comment

            • Soul Reaper
              ROTH ARMY SUPREME
              • Jan 2005
              • 8338

              #7
              The Dealer?!

              Where is the Sith?
              ROTH ARMY YOUTUBE CHANNEL:

              http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=RothArmyVideos

              "May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face." - Frank Zappa to Tipper Gore

              Comment

              • Matt White
                • Jun 2004
                • 20565

                #8
                "Nothing stays the same........."

                Comment

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