Tweet
Top 10 Baby Names Guaranteed To Get Your Kid Beaten Up!
By MARK MILLER
THE NATIONAL Research Institute has just completed its annual survey of elementary and junior high school playground fights and is making public its finding of the 10 names kids have who are most frequently beaten up by their classmates! Please avoid:
DICK -- Avoid giving your children a slang name for male or female genitalia. GAY or GAYLORD -- Would you name your child "Homo"?
FANNY -- Please don't name your daughter after the human butt.
TUCKER -- Stay away from names that obviously rhyme with curse words that could be used against your child.
WOLFGANG -- Other kids don't care about your Medieval German background; to them, it's just plain weird.
ROSEPETAL HUMMINGBIRD -- Your hippie brain of spiritual wonder won't fly with today's first-graders.
HARRY -- Especially if the child's last name is Cox, Beaver or Peters.
PRECIOUS -- Any name that's a compliment, especially a delicate one, is practically like holding up a sign saying "I dare you to hit me."
ADOLF -- What's wrong -- were "Osama" and "Saddam" already taken?
THE NATIONAL Research Institute has just completed its annual survey of elementary and junior high school playground fights and is making public its finding of the 10 names kids have who are most frequently beaten up by their classmates! Please avoid:
DICK -- Avoid giving your children a slang name for male or female genitalia. GAY or GAYLORD -- Would you name your child "Homo"?
FANNY -- Please don't name your daughter after the human butt.
TUCKER -- Stay away from names that obviously rhyme with curse words that could be used against your child.
WOLFGANG -- Other kids don't care about your Medieval German background; to them, it's just plain weird.
ROSEPETAL HUMMINGBIRD -- Your hippie brain of spiritual wonder won't fly with today's first-graders.
HARRY -- Especially if the child's last name is Cox, Beaver or Peters.
PRECIOUS -- Any name that's a compliment, especially a delicate one, is practically like holding up a sign saying "I dare you to hit me."
ADOLF -- What's wrong -- were "Osama" and "Saddam" already taken?
Comment