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Pamela Anderson's Breasts To Become National Landmark
Curvy Pamela Anderson's spectacular 36DD breasts could soon be joining the company of Mount Rushmore, Old Faithful and the Alamo.
A foundation has formally asked the Interior Department to designate her huge, perky hooters as a national landmark!
"Ms. Anderson's magnificent bosom has as much cultural significance as the Brooklyn Bridge, the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, Abe Lincoln's boyhood home and our other landmarks," declares Bob Genorwitz, communications director of the American Association of Breast Aficionados.
"The big, all-American breast is known worldwide as a symbol of U.S. culture -- and Ms. Anderson's magnificent chest epitomizes that."
Surprisingly, the White House has not flatly rejected the notion of including the former Baywatch bombshell's eye-popping headlights among the country's 2,300 national historic landmarks.
"A landmark doesn't necessarily have to be a building. It can be anything that the Secretary of the Interior determines is of 'exceptional value' in representing an important theme in our nation -- and certainly Pam Anderson's breasts, which have been ogled by every red-blooded man in America and millions of others around the world, could qualify," says a Bush administration source.
"The president was a big Baywatch fan. This may not take place in an election year, but I bet you it's going to be pushed through eventually."
Not everyone supports elevating Pam's jugs to the same status as the Washington Monument.
Since the organization announced the proposal at a press conference last week, several groups have declared plans to resist the designation. These include:
Outraged feminists who blast the idea as "sexist" and "stupid."
A Hispanic group that insists no such honor should be bestowed on the 36-year-old VIP vixen until the equally famous fanny of divinely derriered diva Jennifer Lopez is declared a landmark as well.
The Association for the Promotion of Natural Beauty, which says Pam doesn't qualify because breast implants gave her the knockers that made her such a standout on Baywatch.
Other purists who argue that because she had her implants removed in 1999, she's "no longer a viable symbol" of big-boobed American womanhood.
As for that last point, D.C.- based Genorwitz adamantly disagrees, pointing out that this down-sizing lasted only several months.
The actress subsequently acquired a larger bust than ever that's been displayed to great effect at the Academy Awards and other gala events.
"But that's another reason why this designation is so important," he says. "Once a building or other object is declared a national landmark, it can't be altered or tampered with, even by a private owner.
"Toying around with breast reduction -- which we consider sacrilege -- couldn't happen again without permission from the federal government."
Summing it all up, one veteran congressman says, "This should not be taken lightly. After all, her bosom is as American as hot dogs and apple pie."
THANKS AGAIN CANADA!!!
A foundation has formally asked the Interior Department to designate her huge, perky hooters as a national landmark!
"Ms. Anderson's magnificent bosom has as much cultural significance as the Brooklyn Bridge, the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, Abe Lincoln's boyhood home and our other landmarks," declares Bob Genorwitz, communications director of the American Association of Breast Aficionados.
"The big, all-American breast is known worldwide as a symbol of U.S. culture -- and Ms. Anderson's magnificent chest epitomizes that."
Surprisingly, the White House has not flatly rejected the notion of including the former Baywatch bombshell's eye-popping headlights among the country's 2,300 national historic landmarks.
"A landmark doesn't necessarily have to be a building. It can be anything that the Secretary of the Interior determines is of 'exceptional value' in representing an important theme in our nation -- and certainly Pam Anderson's breasts, which have been ogled by every red-blooded man in America and millions of others around the world, could qualify," says a Bush administration source.
"The president was a big Baywatch fan. This may not take place in an election year, but I bet you it's going to be pushed through eventually."
Not everyone supports elevating Pam's jugs to the same status as the Washington Monument.
Since the organization announced the proposal at a press conference last week, several groups have declared plans to resist the designation. These include:
Outraged feminists who blast the idea as "sexist" and "stupid."
A Hispanic group that insists no such honor should be bestowed on the 36-year-old VIP vixen until the equally famous fanny of divinely derriered diva Jennifer Lopez is declared a landmark as well.
The Association for the Promotion of Natural Beauty, which says Pam doesn't qualify because breast implants gave her the knockers that made her such a standout on Baywatch.
Other purists who argue that because she had her implants removed in 1999, she's "no longer a viable symbol" of big-boobed American womanhood.
As for that last point, D.C.- based Genorwitz adamantly disagrees, pointing out that this down-sizing lasted only several months.
The actress subsequently acquired a larger bust than ever that's been displayed to great effect at the Academy Awards and other gala events.
"But that's another reason why this designation is so important," he says. "Once a building or other object is declared a national landmark, it can't be altered or tampered with, even by a private owner.
"Toying around with breast reduction -- which we consider sacrilege -- couldn't happen again without permission from the federal government."
Summing it all up, one veteran congressman says, "This should not be taken lightly. After all, her bosom is as American as hot dogs and apple pie."
THANKS AGAIN CANADA!!!
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