Bertinelli & Ed - Ain't Talkin bout LOVE

[bantonelli]

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Bertinelli Divorcing Rocker Eddie Van Halen
48 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES -

Valerie Bertinelli and her rock star husband,

Eddie Van Halen, are divorcing after 24 years of marriage, Bertinelli's publicist confirmed Tuesday.

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"Yes, that's true. They have been separated for four years and it's amicable," Bertinelli spokeswoman Heidi Schaeffer told The Associated Press. She said the actress would have no further comment.

A divorce petition that Bertinelli, 45, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Monday cited irreconcilable differences.

The couple wed on April 11, 1981, and have one son, 14-year-old Wolfgang Van Halen. According to the petition, they separated on Oct. 15, 2001.

Bertinelli shot to fame as the sexy 15-year-old daughter of Bonnie Franklin on the hit television show "One Day at a Time," which aired from 1975 to 1984. She rejoined Franklin and

Mackenzie Phillips, who played her sister, for a reunion show earlier this year. She was also a regular on television's "Touched by an Angel" from 2001 to 2003.

Van Halen, 50, is one of the most celebrated lead guitarists in rock music. He rose to fame in the late 1970s, along with his brother, drummer Alex Van Halen, vocalist

David Lee Roth and bassist

Michael Anthony as members of Van Halen.

The group was known for wild excess both on and offstage in its early years, and Van Halen, once a heavy smoker, was treated for cancer in 2000 and 2001.


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[bantonelli]

At least they didn't put any SPAM credit in the article.

[chuckg1982]

I wonder if Val has remained celibate throughout the entire separation

[bantonelli]

What about Ed?

[fryingdutchman]

Is anybody actually surprised?

Now there's another name to add to the list of "Who will Ed reconcile wih first? Val or Dave?"

Or...God help us all....Shammy.

[bantonelli]

Originally posted by fryingdutchman
Is anybody actually surprised?

Now there's another name to add to the list of "Who will Ed reconcile wih first? Val or Dave?"

Or...God help us all....Shammy.

Classic!

[fryingdutchman]

Originally posted by chuckg1982
I wonder if Val has remained celibate throughout the entire separation

Doubtful.

She's probably been suckin' and fuckin' her way through every TV movie producer in Hollywood in a quest for work.

And judging by her recent workload.....she must suck in the sack.

[bantonelli]

Seems to me that now, the door will be wide open for Spammy & Mullet to team up to call Ed and give their condolences and try to sell Ed on the idea of keeping busy w/music to ease the big "D" pain,

or

Maybe Dave will call Ed on his broadcast to give his condolences about the big "D" situation. Dave's going to have some instant topics to discuss once he hits the airwaves....a HOT SAUCEY DIVORCE !

But they say that with artists, some of their best material comes from painful situations. So, maybe Ed's hurt and anger will be turned into some awesome classics like the "Fair Warning" album...nothing "Hallmark Lovey-dovey Lyric" about that album. According to Dave it was full of anger..

Ed's got to work on that anger management,now since Val told him "Can't Get This Stuff No More".

[chuckg1982]

Dave should start sending her flowers and candy.

She'll be Valerie Bertenelli Roth soon enough. :D

[bantonelli]

Originally posted by chuckg1982
Dave should start sending her flowers and candy.

She'll be Valerie Bertenelli Roth soon enough. :D

WHAT???? Dave and Val never got along. I'm thinking for Ed to call Dave for a shoulder to cry on and have enough anger in him to team up with The ROTH and get some anger CVH going !

[Hardrock69]

I would surely love it though if she were to get drunk one night while in NYC and call Dave up and let him fuck her in the ass.....

[spmusicplyr]

isnt this old news?

[fryingdutchman]

Originally posted by spmusicplyr
isnt this old news?

Technically.....yes.

But they were merely "separated" up until this week.

The little twist here seems to be that Val finally filed for an actual divorce citing "irreconcilable differences."

So....it's been dead for years. But Val finally claimed the body.

[Wayne L.]

I thought they were already divorced about a year ago so this ISN'T shocking news to be but Eddie & Valerie were a great rock couple at one time.

[Douglas T.]

Originally posted by bantonelli

So, maybe Ed's hurt and anger will be turned into some awesome classics like the "Fair Warning" album...nothing "Hallmark Lovey-dovey Lyric" about that album.

In a perfect world! Here's the AOL story:

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/music/article.adp?id=20051206204809990015&ncid=NWS00010000000001

Next you will hear a popping sound as ed pulls his head out of his ass! !! !!!DT

[Douglas T.]

Originally posted by Wayne L.
Eddie & Valerie were a great rock couple at one time.

Yeah ... she came along and it was like putting water on the fire! !! !!!DT:mad:

[chuckg1982]

Originally posted by Hardrock69
I would surely love it though if she were to get drunk one night while in NYC and call Dave up and let him fuck her in the ass.....

Hell yeah. Dave will smack that fat ass until it turns red.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Thank god Yoko VH is out of the picture.

She was the bitch that was most likely in Ed's ear saying shit like "You don't need Dave, tell him to fuck off, we can get a new singer..."

[DLR_EngineRoom]

Originally posted by Douglas T.
In a perfect world! Here's the AOL story:

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/music/article.adp?id=20051206204809990015&ncid=NWS00010000000001

Next you will hear a popping sound as ed pulls his head out of his ass! !! !!!DT

Look at the bright side, people. At least Eddie married a woman.

Could be worse.

He could be in Elton John's or George Michael's BOAT.

[Wayne L.]

She DIDN'T cause the personal & professional tension between Eddie & Dave Douglas T. just like Yoko & Linda didn't breakup the Beatles.

[Don Corleone]

Here's the same story from the BBC:


The wife of rock guitarist Eddie Van Halen has filed for divorce in a bid to end the couple's 24-year marriage.
Actress Valerie Bertinelli has cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their separation.

The couple, who met at a Van Halen concert in 1980, will share custody of their 14-year-old son, Wolfgang.

The Holland-born guitarist founded Van Halen in 1974 with his brother Alex. They went on to enjoy popularity in the late 70s and early 80s.


What makes me laugh here is the span they've quoted for the band being popular.

[bantonelli]

This is media and what do they know about the true span of time of VH's continuing popularity....their morons who probably think that Billy Joel is "Hard Rock", so I don't pay attention.

What I did pay attention to is the fact that you see ROTH recognized, but not SPAM ! Kudos to that journalist.

[DLR_EngineRoom]

Originally posted by Don Corleone
Here's the same story from the BBC:



What makes me laugh here is the span they've quoted for the band being popular.

Yeah, true. I didn't notice that. Late 70's - early 80's. Amazing how those sheep still haven't got the foggiest clue...

[bantonelli]

I remember reading that Val expressed her opinion that she liked ROTH Era VH, rather than SPAM VHagar.

If you are hearing it from the wife, then maybe this is the reason her and Ed have irreconcilable differences ?

[Douglas T.]

Originally posted by Wayne L.
She DIDN'T cause the personal & professional tension between Eddie & Dave Douglas T. just like Yoko & Linda didn't breakup the Beatles.

HHmmm .. I guess I was just brought up under the wrong concept!? That is what I always felt was the main problem! With the change of song themes and all!? Just my opinion! !! !!!DT

[Jurak]

yep "it's all over but the shouting, she's come to take whats his"... :D

[Vinnie Velvet]

Originally posted by Don Corleone
Here's the same story from the BBC:



What makes me laugh here is the span they've quoted for the band being popular.

Yeah, no kidding.

Pointing towards the Roth years, 78-84.

[Vinnie Velvet]

I like it how in the original report there is no mention of Spammy!!

But Dave's name does!

HA!

Take that, Sambo!

[bantonelli]

I wonder if EVH gets to see the press release before it's made public.

If so, he approved of ROTH's name being mentioned and didn't bother to mention Van Hagar or SPAM....perhaps this is his acknowledgement that Classic VH is the only success deserving to be recognized and now, Van Hagar is not worth the mention.

Spam...this is acknowledgement to you....your work with VH is simply scrap meat byproduct sealed in a tin can.....sorry babe.

[Diamondjimi]

Val finally severed the Gangrenous arm that is Edward. Think about
the abuse and crap she endured with this clown. Failing career,substance abuser and general miserable human being.
I hear Wolfie is hittin the bottle these days.Dad's a great role model !

[redblkwht]

Cant blame her, listening to the recent interviews lately
he seems like a miserable man dave says he is..

I really think daves book is/was dead on.

[bantonelli]

Originally posted by redblkwht
Cant blame her, listening to the recent interviews lately
he seems like a miserable man dave says he is..

I really think daves book is/was dead on.

Dave's book is an awesome read! Once you read it, you feel like you've been having a long conversation of many topics with an old trusted friend.

Huck Finn Rules!

[Vinnie Velvet]

Originally posted by diamondjimi
Val finally severed the Gangrenous arm that is Edward. Think about
the abuse and crap she endured with this clown. Failing career,substance abuser and general miserable human being.
I hear Wolfie is hittin the bottle these days.Dad's a great role model !

Dave is a better role model for Wolfie than his own papi.

Dave can teach him other languages, traveling, he can teach Wolfie how to mountain climb, ski, kayaking, martial arts, etc.

[Hardrock69]

Here is the actual divorce petition:

Half Of Eddie (http://cdn.digitalcity.com/ch_tmz/051206vanhalen.pdf)

[bantonelli]

No matter what we think of Ed, strictly in terms of his relationship to ROTH & CVH, it's still very sad to read this and realize what is happening in Ed's life.

The only person he has right now is AL. With Ed's parents gone and Val out of his life...what inspiration can he possibly have for getting his act together again?

[Hardrock69]

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[Hardrock69]

Hey, it is easy to see why everyone is abandoning him.

People do not get off on hanging with a drunk.....

[WARF]

Seperation usually leads to divorce.

[Hardrock69]

Yeah and Marriage leads to separation!

Kinda like, your parents are murdering you.

Why?

They caused you to be alive to begin with, and if you are born, it is quite certain you will die someday.

It can be summed up in one simple equation: FUCKING = DEATH!

This has been a pubic service announcement to promote the use of sex to murder more future victims....

[DrMaddVibe]

Originally posted by fryingdutchman
Is anybody actually surprised?

Now there's another name to add to the list of "Who will Ed reconcile wih first? Val or Dave?"

Or...God help us all....Shammy.


You just know its gonna be Spammy Haggis!

[Coyote]

God I hope not...

How'd the old saying go? Something about paying the costs of your actions...