View Full Version : "EVH NEEDS TO RETIRE" according to GUITAR-ONE MAGAZINE
Matt White
12-12-2005, 12:59 AM
Just picked up the Jan 2006 issue of GUITAR
-ONE magazine......
INside there is a list of the "TOP TEN GUITARISTS WHO DESPERATELY NEED TO RETIRE".....
#1???
YOU GUESSED IT.....
" It's been 20 years since Eddie's done anything worthwhile on guitar. Twenty years. Anyone that ineffective at any other job would have been fired 19 years and 10 months ago."
"20 years"??? What are they getting at???:confused:
Diamondjimi
12-12-2005, 01:03 AM
Ed's options : Sober up , call Dave
OR retire !
LoungeMachine
12-12-2005, 01:05 AM
LMMFAO @ Dave Navarro being the Anna Kournakova of Rock
Fucking tool.
conmee
12-12-2005, 01:07 AM
Well, let's see... he hasn't actually done anything cool or innovative on guitar since at least 1985, so I agree. And in fact, his solos and riffs haven't really had the fire they had in Classic VH.... his solos became much more muddled and predictable... but he's still the best IMO, just hasn't gone back to the well to tap some of that talent. Oh well.
At the end of the day, a guy who is rarely seen in public and hasn't put out an album since 1998 probably qualifies for retired anyhow. So I don't know what more they want the guy to do... lmao
That is all.
Icon.
Eyes of the Night
12-12-2005, 01:12 AM
GuitarOne is the shittiest guitar mag out there ... You won't see the real guitar mag, guitar world make that statement ...
Matt White
12-12-2005, 01:18 AM
Originally posted by Eyes
GuitarOne is the shittiest guitar mag out there ... You won't see the real guitar mag, guitar world make that statement ...
GUITAR-ONE & GUITAR WORLD are both owned by the same parent company....
They share a lot of the same staff......
I'm sure that there was an element of humor involved...
It just happened to be so DEAD-NUTS on target.....
LoungeMachine
12-12-2005, 01:21 AM
Hell, I agree w/ 10 out of 10
As much as it pains me w/ Slowhand........
Keith Richards retire? He's dead. It's just no one has bothered to tell him yet.
I'm not sure how Betts got on there, was there a HBO special recently I'm unaware of?
Navarro What a fucking tool. [ did I say that already?]
LoungeMachine
12-12-2005, 01:23 AM
Originally posted by Eyes
GuitarOne is the shittiest guitar mag out there ... You won't see the real guitar mag, guitar world make that statement ...
I don't care if it's in Martha Stewart Living.....
It's still funny as hell :D
Hardrock69
12-12-2005, 02:02 AM
.
NATEDOG001976
12-12-2005, 04:02 AM
No shit. Ed keep drinking and call Dave!
ashstralia
12-12-2005, 04:45 AM
Originally posted by LoungeMachine
Navarro What a fucking tool. [ did I say that already?]
he rooted one of your girlfriends, did he???? :D
LoungeMachine
12-12-2005, 09:21 AM
Originally posted by ashstralia
he rooted one of your girlfriends, did he???? :D
;)
Soul Reaper
12-12-2005, 11:37 AM
well, Keith Richards has always looked like an ancient statue....
nothing's different, why make him retire?!
Nickdfresh
12-12-2005, 01:43 PM
Well, the thing is, there aren't too many guitarists out there today to replace them...
Besides, isn't ED retired already?
Matt White
12-12-2005, 01:50 PM
Originally posted by Nickdfresh
Besides, isn't ED retired already?
Re-TARD-ed
NATEDOG001976
12-12-2005, 02:17 PM
Originally posted by Nickdfresh
Well, the thing is, there aren't too many guitarists out there today to replace them...
Besides, isn't ED retired already?
I think he retired from drinking for 1 month. :)
Golden AWe
12-12-2005, 06:37 PM
"I never thought I was wasted, but I probably was"
- Keith Richards
Eyes of the Night
12-12-2005, 06:54 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
They share a lot of the same staff......
Interesting indeed ... you mean the folks who didn't make the team so World made a minor league farm system ...
One was really geared towards the alternative movement back in the day ...
Unchainme
12-12-2005, 07:05 PM
Navarro has been a Fucking tool ever since he covered with DEF LEP'S BRINGING ON THE HEARTBREAK with FUCKING MARIAH CAREY. God what an awful cover. I love the orignal Def Lep. version though. but my god what a shitt ymoment in music that was,
Eyes of the Night
12-12-2005, 07:09 PM
Navarro had one kick ass album ... their first ... other than that he might as well be on the top 10 one hit wonder guitarists n' shit ...
Terry
12-12-2005, 09:14 PM
Pretty much agree that Ed is essentially retired anyway.
Probably would have been best, far as the band Van Halen is concerned, for them to have ended it in 1996-1998, and did the full-blown Roth reunion THEN; one final, full-length CVH album and one multi-year tour. Would have been a great way to go out on a high note. THEN Ed could have went and made an album of tuba solos, or whatever.
Man, when I see the nonsense that has transpired under the name Van Halen since 1996, just makes me shake my head. Not that Van Hagar 1986-1996 was any better, but at least they put out an album and hit the road with semi-regularity.
I still think Ed should just put out an instrumental album at this point. Have him play guitar, bass, and keyboards. Alexandra can play drums. I mean, what really is the fucking point of trying to get a FOURTH singer in there just to keep calling the thing 'Van Halen'?
Van Halen is done.
Julius
12-12-2005, 10:17 PM
Who the fuck is Mike Mushok?
And why is he mentioned in the same sentence as Fred Durst?
Did I just answer my own question? LOL.
Julius
12-12-2005, 10:25 PM
Why isn't Ritchie Blackmore on this list?
Shit, we should come up with our own list. Plenty of nominees to choose from.
rustoffa
12-12-2005, 10:30 PM
Nothing says "I'm retired" like smashing x-pensive Charvels' on the patio. Maybe alzheimers is setting in?
Eyes of the Night
12-12-2005, 10:37 PM
Originally posted by rustoffa
Nothing says "I'm retired" like smashing x-pensive Charvels' on the patio. Maybe alzheimers is setting in?
:D
DrMaddVibe
12-13-2005, 07:27 AM
I thought he did retire.
What passes for art these days...geeesh!
Diamondjimi
12-13-2005, 10:24 AM
Originally posted by Julius
Who the fuck is Mike Mushok?
And why is he mentioned in the same sentence as Fred Durst?
Mike Mushok plays guitar for Staind and Fred Durst IS a stain! LOL!
DLR_EngineRoom
12-13-2005, 11:43 AM
Originally posted by Matt White
Just picked up the Jan 2006 issue of GUITAR
-ONE magazine......
INside there is a list of the "TOP TEN GUITARISTS WHO DESPERATELY NEED TO RETIRE".....
#1???
YOU GUESSED IT.....
" It's been 20 years since Eddie's done anything worthwhile on guitar. Twenty years. Anyone that ineffective at any other job would have been fired 19 years and 10 months ago."
"20 years"??? What are they getting at???:confused:
Here's a far out mathematical theory:
Van Halen=1978-1985
Van Hagar=1986-1995
Year we are now ending: 2005
2005-20=1985
...simple mathematics, Watson...
Matt White
12-13-2005, 11:48 AM
Originally posted by DLR_EngineRoom
Here's a far out mathematical theory:
Van Halen=1978-1985
Van Hagar=1986-1995
Year we are now ending: 2005
2005-20=1985
...simple mathematics, Watson...
Gee...you're a mathematical genius Pinestein!!!:p
DLR_EngineRoom
12-13-2005, 12:05 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
Gee...you're a mathematical genius Pinestein!!!:p
juzz anserrin yer kestyun, deep fry... :D
Matt White
12-13-2005, 12:11 PM
rhe-tor-ical \ri-'tor-i-kal\ adj 1. :of relating to rhetoric 2. : asked merely for effect with no answer needed <a~question>
:cool:
DLR_EngineRoom
12-13-2005, 01:47 PM
Originally posted by Matt White
rhe-tor-ical \ri-'tor-i-kal\ adj 1. :of relating to rhetoric 2. : asked merely for effect with no answer needed <a~question>
:cool:
LOL - Read 'lawl'. An acronym for 'Laughing Out Loud', usually used for laughing at funny posts, regardless of it's rhetoric.
Matt White
12-13-2005, 02:10 PM
Exactly, exactly
Hardrock69
12-13-2005, 03:02 PM
Read 'lawl'???
Bullshit....
:rolleyes:
I and everyone with at least half a brain reads it as "laugh out loud".
Stupid fuckers.....
Not you DLR_EngineRoom...the people that came up with that lame daffynishun of "lol".
:D
Wayne L.
12-13-2005, 06:29 PM
It's true Clapton, Page, Richards, Nugent & Eddie aren't what they used to be but they can STILL play & rock more than any of the no talent young artists of today by a mile.
DrMaddVibe
12-13-2005, 07:11 PM
I wouldn't add Eddie to that list.
There a TON of guys that can drop their guitars onstage and stumble in a drunken stupor out there today.
Jurak
12-13-2005, 09:26 PM
Here's a far out mathematical theory:
Van Halen=1978-1985
Van Hagar=1986-1995
Year we are now ending: 2005
2005-20=1985
...simple mathematics, Watson... ”
Gee...you're a mathematical genius Pinestein!!!
good answer tho...i like it! :D
ppg960
12-13-2005, 11:47 PM
1. Ace Freely
2. Vitto Bratta
3. Paul Stanley
4. CC Deville
5. Mick Mars- he looks dead as a door nail for Fuck Sakes.
Feel free to chime in
LOL
Matt White
12-13-2005, 11:56 PM
#1.) EVH " It's been 20 years since Eddie's done anything worthwhile on guitar. Twenty years. Anyone that ineffective at any other job would have been fired 19 years and 10 months ago."
Quite right
SNIPER
12-14-2005, 09:24 PM
Ed already did retire!!!! I dont think he did anything worthy since Fair Warning! DD WAS A COVER ALBUM AND 84 WAS A PRE PRODUCTION TO 5150.
Julius
12-14-2005, 11:29 PM
Originally posted by SNIPER
Ed already did retire!!!! I dont think he did anything worthy since Fair Warning! DD WAS A COVER ALBUM AND 84 WAS A PRE PRODUCTION TO 5150.
Wow, that's an excellent point.
Matt White
12-14-2005, 11:48 PM
He SHOULD have retired after 1984.....
20+ years of wasted time & money.......
The only exciting moments from Eddie Van Halen since Dave left are numbered.
There are two.
1) The Drill intro from poundcake.
2) The solo from humans being
hel awaits fools. huzzah.
LoungeMachine
12-15-2005, 01:13 AM
Originally posted by WARF
The only exciting moments from Eddie Van Halen since Dave left are numbered.
There are two.
1) The Drill intro from poundcake.
2) The solo from humans being
I know I'll get flamed for this but.........
I like the song Human Beings.
And not just because I have a mad crush on Helen Hunt, either :cool:
Matt White
12-15-2005, 01:16 AM
I'd have really liked the song "5150" if it had been an instrumental.....
Still..."20+ years"...
The guy wouldn't know an original idea at this point unless it kicked him in the ripple bottle.......
Originally posted by LoungeMachine
I know I'll get flamed for this but.........
I like the song Human Beings.
And not just because I have a mad crush on Helen Hunt, either :cool:
You know what? I like the song too!
And I'll tell you why...
1) Sammy Hagar's vocals sound alot better when there are distorted.
2) Eddie is actually playing with inspiration.
3) I knew when I heard this song, Sammy Hagar was out of Van Halen.
Wayne L.
12-15-2005, 06:37 AM
C. C. Deville is one of the WORST rock guitarist in the history of mankind who should be in jail for life for his awful solos.
Matt White
12-15-2005, 12:34 PM
Originally posted by Wayne L.
C. C. Deville is one of the WORST rock guitarist in the history of mankind who should be in jail for life for his awful solos.
We'll get him to bunk with EVH...maybe CC could give him some pointers......
shaggydoo
12-17-2005, 11:26 AM
Yep, Ed pretty much has been retired for 20 years already. Maybe it's the staff of Guitar-One Magazine need to retire!
Matt White
12-18-2005, 12:27 AM
Originally posted by shaggydoo
Yep, Ed pretty much has been retired for 20 years already. Maybe it's the staff of Guitar-One Magazine need to retire!
Uhhhhh....NO.
EVH needs to FARK OFF....and smell the coffee
TOM_5150
12-18-2005, 01:48 AM
Ed shouldn't retire. He should put out some new shit.
audiospectrum
12-19-2005, 04:50 PM
Originally posted by ppg960
2. Vitto Bratta
Didn't Vito permanently fuck his wrist? I'm sure I read this a few years back, so I think that's his excuse for doing squat.
Originally posted by WARF
3) I knew when I heard this song, Sammy Hagar was out of Van Halen.
Hahahhaha, how very refreshing!
jhale667
12-19-2005, 06:06 PM
Originally posted by audiospectrum
Didn't Vito permanently fuck his wrist? I'm sure I read this a few years back, so I think that's his excuse for doing squat.
...Seems like I read that somewhere too....if it's true, that kinda SUCKS...
BITEYOASS
12-19-2005, 08:52 PM
Originally posted by Unchainme
Navarro has been a Fucking tool ever since he covered with DEF LEP'S BRINGING ON THE HEARTBREAK with FUCKING MARIAH CAREY. God what an awful cover. I love the orignal Def Lep. version though. but my god what a shitt ymoment in music that was,
He ain't no fuckin Steve Clark, that's for damn sure!
Seshmeister
12-19-2005, 10:57 PM
Originally posted by ppg960
1. Ace Freely
2. Vitto Bratta
3. Paul Stanley
4. CC Deville
5. Mick Mars- he looks dead as a door nail for Fuck Sakes.
Feel free to chime in
LOL
Totally unfair having Bratta in that list.
He may have ripped off EVH but he pisses all over the rest of those guys and wrote some great solo's.
Diamondjimi
12-20-2005, 12:23 AM
Originally posted by BITEYOASS
He ain't no fuckin Steve Clark, that's for damn sure!
As in alive and sober? LOL !
Sorry dude, Navarro's a smokin guitarist.
ppg960
12-26-2005, 10:31 PM
Didn't know that Vitto had to quit playing. He was good in the day.
EVH has done some good work. I agree with WARF, "Human's Being" was a great piece of music and I liked the song as well.
Still think Mick Mars is and always was over rated.
Zakk Wylde is quite good too. How does Ozzy find these guys?
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