TURDSday Who Is Listeining T2o DAVE?

[Phil theStalker]

Gooooood mmmorning everyo1ne.

Tit's da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE in da mmmornings.

I'm with yoo everyday f4or da nexxxt f4our hours whether yoo like tit or not.

SO WELCOME T2O THE PHIL THE STALKER SHOW

SHITTY TURDSDAY

Copyright 5:55am 2006


Dis GIG is getting better alda time. I'm feellin' semen-professional here. I've been here f4or da past f4our days straight. And I've set up sum insTITutions, like mmmy daily shit which seems t2o come eggzactly 30 mmminutes after I hear DAVE start talking.

I swear I doon't know why dat is, folks.

Tit just is.

I'll bee back wit mmore aff da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE in the mmornings.

Where are mmy co=hosts?

Da boyz are back in town.

tHey're Hangin Round At PHIL THE STALKER SHOW n da Mmornings

Spreead da werd!


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

I thought I'd talk aboot MY COCK Robin dayz t2oday and DAVE is talking aboot myquock mmonkeeys.

KFC myquock mmonkeyys in da mmornings.

Acttually I've heeard DAVE talking aboot drinking his REd Bull sugar free so I had sum mmacaroni and beef aboot 15 mminutes ago dat I left out on mmy stove all last nite.

So t2oday's daily SHIT mmay bee a combo VOMIT and SHITTING TURDSDAY wit DAVE in da mmorning. I'm fffeeling tit alrreedy.

On wit da show.

I'm listening t2o DAVE talke aboot his fish OSCAR swimming through da Jello DAVE put in his aquarium. I tootally beelieve dis story.

TIT'S SHITTING TURDSDAY
on da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE in da mmornings.

BRB

:spank:

[Golden AWe]

waiting for cato to show up, then the whole crew would be here!

let's have some ketchup on the supermodel's breasts while waiting for cato.

strange music cummin' up any minute now.

where's fuckhowardstern? he left with hitch?

[Phil theStalker]

PHIL THE STALKER LIVE on da INTWATNET in da mmornings

SHITTING TURDSDAY

Wot I'm dooing is a Labore aff LOVE.

When peeps all ova da werld know yer gooing t2o bee there wit them everyday at da same fakking time they treet yoo differently.

And I'm not getting PAID f4or dooing dis LIVE gig in mmy bedroom studio.

So let's have dat R-E-S-P-ECT!

I'm comming back with da NEWS, SPORTS, TRAFFIK, AND WEEATHER

TIt's da PHIL THE STALKER LIVE SHOW on da INTWATNET in da mmornings.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

PHIL THE STALKER LIVE on da INTWATNET inda mmornings.

I get better ratings than Micheal Stanley!

I'm spurting out LIVE all ova da werld LIVELY on da INTWATNET and

TIT'S SHITTING TURDSDAY

AND I'M REEDY T2O SHIT

Here's da mmainstream I promised. I'm dooing POLLLS dis mmorning aloong wit da NEWSS and stuff.

WEEATHER: CLEAVLAND IS A GLACIER, DRESS AND DRIVE APPOORIATLEY

TRAFFIC: WINTERIFIC FUN!

SPORTS: CLEAVELAND LOST

NEWS: ROTH REMOVES ABORETUM FROM STUIDO VOWS TO NEEVER GROW INDOORS ON 95TH STREET AGIN

Okay, done wit dat.

I promised POLLLS dis mmorning. I starTITed taking stats at 5:30am. Hree' how tit looks so far.

5:30am 25 Mmembers 170 Guests

5:45am 21 mEMbas 149 Guests - Ooops tit's getting worse!

6:00am 26 membas 160 guests - Ahhh, tit's getting betta!



How's da heater in yer peeter?

DAVE'S worried aboot a sumboody's pet python beeing left behind during a move and coming up his toilet and biting his liTITle tight Jewish ass.

Like CLOCK werk. Tit's eggzactly 6:30am and tit's 30 mminutes after I've heard DAVE starTIT speaking.

I'mm feeling like I'm gonna have t2o take a mmean shit agin LIVE wit you.

BRB afta mmy SHITTING TURDSDAY.


:spank:

EdiTITed da caps f4 BOLD

[Golden AWe]

my roth radio is not working properly at the moment

it's good to have this one, in case i don't hear dave all the time

KEWL!!!

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
waiting for cato to show up, then the whole crew would be here!

let's have some ketchup on the supermodel's breasts while waiting for cato.

strange music cummin' up any minute now.

where's fuckhowardstern? he left with hitch? Ah, o1ne aff mmmy co=ho' has actually shown up.

Hi, hiya doin'g, Golden AWe.

Now I can take mmmy [COLOR=red]SHIT[/SIZE].

Take tit ova, mmy brotha!


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
my roth radio is not working properly at the moment

it's good to have this one, in case i don't hear dave all the time

KEWL!!! Wait till yoo see wot comes outta mme dis mmorning, Golden AWe.

How mmany jobs are yoo werking rite now?


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

I'm back.

Where's mmy co=ho'?

I just t2ook o1ne aff those 'Jack da Ripper' shits. Not so mmuch a fat o1ne as tit was a DRY o1ne. Tit's ripped da hairs right outta mmy ass!

And da VOMIT.

I t2ook DAVE'S lead wit his REd Bull sugar free and I had a Good American Breakfast aff mmacaroni and beef dat I left out all nite on mmy stove. I've got no o1ne and I'm lonely. Butt I digress.

Dat's mme prettending I have a fakking liFe.

Golden AWe is back wit mme dis mmorning so I'm not t2otally aloone. He's werking mmulTITple jobs rite now taking care aff his dying asbestos clients and co=ho'ing mmy LIVE show wit mme.

He dooes tit all. Da shit literally flies int2o Golden AWe's hands and he begins t2o juggle tit. Now back t2o mmy bigg shit on mmy SHITTING TURDSDAY

I found a pimple.

Yep.

I'm gooing t2o need t2o stand just like DAVE stands during his LIVE show in NYC.

I'm gonna stand liike DAVE rite now. I cun't take tit anymo'. I'll tell yoo aboot mmy shit in a mminute. I've gotta doo sumthing wit mmy studio keybooad.

Rite now I'm gooing to jerry-rig mmy tie on acoustic guitar strap t2o mmy keyboard...


I'M BACK! And I'm standing up just like DAVE does in his studio.

Now back t2o mmy shit while tit's still fressh in mmy mmind.

Tit turNds out SHITTING and VOMItitING is appparently an evloutionary thang since shitting alone will not kill you, butt vomiTITing and shitTITing to2getha can asphyxiate yoo.

Da mmacaroni and beef I ate an hour ago mmoved up int2o my bronkial tubes and allmoost choked mme t2o death.

Now back t2o da vomit. While all da shitting was going on, da vomit was still on tit's way up. By da time I had allmost collapsed on da toilet, mmy mmouth had filled up with a gooey portion aff da mmacaroni and beef I had just cuntsumed.

OK, so wot does da human boody inSTINKtively doo when vomiting?

O1ne bends ova.

So I bent ova.

I wuz still stiTITing on da toilet though.

Theref4ore, bending ova resulTITed in mme placing mmy head aboove mmy now slightly open leggs.

Oh, did I mmention dat I was wearing not pants, butt mmy pajama seat pants with elastic on da ankles and da waist?

And there was no fakking toilet paper.

I hooked up a hose.

I have o1ne in da bathroom f4or mmy bachelor DAVE pad washing mmachine.

Mmy shit ripped and mmy mmararoni and beef blew chunks rite int2o mmy sweat pants and filled them up. I had t2o hurry back t2o my INTWATNET werldwide studio so I finished cleaning meself aff and came back t2o mmy studio NAKED.

Now I'm standing just like DAVE stands in his studio. I've got mmy keybord guitar belTITed t2o myself and I'm ready f4or mmore aff da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE on da Intwatnet in da mornings.

I've VOMItitED and shat at da same fakking time.

MY WERK HERE IS DONE f4or SHITTING TURDDSDAY.

Flush.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

POLLL:

7:00am 38 Members 161 Guessts - Eh


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

So I'm standing here NAKED in mmy bedroom studio wit mmy keyboard belted ont2o mme wit mmy acoustic guitar strap.

Tit's cold.

Where are any aff mmy co-ho's?

Dis is gearing up.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

I need mmy co-hosts f4or a liTITle chatter.

Where are mmy co-ho's?


:spank:

[Cato]

who called my name who called my name?

[Golden AWe]

Originally posted by Phil theStalker
Wait till yoo see wot comes outta mme dis mmorning, Golden AWe.

How mmany jobs are yoo werking rite now?


:spank:

About four, two of them simultaneously

i'd ask for my paycheck but for a program this good, i'll work for free, this IS art

and the grrrls outside the studio are hottt, even though it's dahm cold outside

GRETT!!!

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Cato
who called my name who called my name? I called yer name, butt yer not there.

Welcome abored, Cato.

I'm in CLEAVLEAND, butt I wish I was in West Palm Beach.

How'ya doin'g t2oday, Cato?

Let's git sum early mmorning chatter gooing f4or da folks, bro.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
About four, two of them simultaneously

i'd ask for my paycheck but for a program this good, i'll work for free, this IS art

and the grrrls outside the studio are hottt, even though it's dahm cold outside

GRETT!!! Wot "art" are yoo talking aboot, Golden AWe?

Are yoo saying wot wee're dooing here every mmorning EST is ART?

Are da hot girls reeding dis stuff? huh

Juggle da shit, Golden AWe.

Fulphil mmy phantasies.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Mmy t2wo wildly sexxy co-ho's are back and there's chatter.

Yoo cun't axe f4or mmore sexcept da use aff da F werd on da show, and dat's da kind aff stuff da puts yoo off ont2o saTITellite radio wit Stern da radio room geek.

Shall wee plan t2omorrow's show?

Wee've been LIVE on da PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE in da mmornings on da INTWATNET f4or da past f4our dayz.

Wee need a goode Friday show t2o CLIMAX da week.


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

i'm sure they're all reading our stuff, and dying to get into the studio with us

drooling behind the window

lining up behind the backdoor, waiting for their backdoor man

[Phil theStalker]

POLLL:

7:30am 41 membas 171 Guestss - I feel sorry 4 'em.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
i'm sure they're all reading our stuff, and dying to get into the studio with us

drooling behind the window

lining up behind the backdoor, waiting for their backdoor man Doo yoo know I'm standing here NAKED smelling like PUKE wit mmy keyboard belted ont2o me wit my acoustic guitar strapp?

Dat's a drooling picture f4or da FUnland girls - PS CLEAVLAND loves yoo.

I am their backDOR, mman.

I undastand why I'm mmaking them wet.


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

that is one of the reasons we are working in separate studios, mann

i'm here in my personal studio, filled with pine trees, surf boards, sunbathing chairs and a fruity drink bar

where's me washboard?

[Phil theStalker]

Separate studios is kewl.

LIVE IN DA STUDIO-S, BAYBEE-S!


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

T2omorrow is Funland Friday.

Can yoo mmake tit t2omorrow t2o co-host agin?


:spank:

[ThrillsNSpills]

C'mon Phil, not again.....


we've talked about this over and over....




you can't do shows in main.........



without breaking for commercials.....



http://images.goantiques.com/dbimages/ODG1364/ODG136420024.jpg

cigarette ads, only on the Roth Army.
Look at the copy on this ad.

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by ThrillsNSpills
C'mon Phil, not again.....


we've talked about this over and over....




you can't do shows in main.........



without breaking for commercials.....



cigarette ads, only on the Roth Army.
Look at the copy on this ad. Is dat ciagarette sponsore gooing t2o pay mme?


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

I feel like i'd need a smoke, i haven't had any for like two weeks now.

i also have some GANJA in my other studio.

how do you feel about GANJA, phil?

how about our callers?

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
I feel like i'd need a smoke, i haven't had any for like two weeks now.

i also have some GANJA in my other studio.

how do you feel about GANJA, phil?

how about our callers? I love tit, butt I cun't afford tit, da GANYA.

I'm cuntemployed while yoo juggle 9 jobs at o1nce.

Doo yoor bosses thing yoo are cheating on them when yoo're co-hosting here wit mme?

Wee doon't have any callers, wee've got POSTERS.

They routinely show up aroond 8:00am. I gotta check out mmy POLLL.

Dis show wit PHIL THE STALKER LIVE in da mmornings is AFF DA HOOK!



:spank:

[Golden AWe]

My bosses don't know much about my radio gig...and even if they did, I'd tell them it's for charity

the big boss just left to spain anyway

GRETT!!!

[Golden AWe]

C'mon phil, gimme a break...

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
C'mon phil, gimme a break... Doo yoo reely need a break?

MMaybe I should doo mmy PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE inda mmornings onda INTWATNET in German. DAVE is dooing GERMan on his LIVE show.

MMy show's LIVE in New Zealand. Wot doo they speech in New Zealand, Golden AWe?


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

POLLL:

8:00am 50 Membas 188 GuesTITs - Ich wunda (dat's German) aff DAVE has RATtings dis grate?

:spank:

[Douglas T.]

Love the sound of Cricketts in the morning! *chirp chirp*

[Golden AWe]

Originally posted by Phil theStalker
Doo yoo reely need a break?

MMaybe I should doo mmy PHIL THE STALKER SHOW LIVE inda mmornings onda INTWATNET in German. DAVE is dooing GERMan on his LIVE show.

MMy show's LIVE in New Zealand. Wot doo they speech in New Zealand, Golden AWe?


:spank:

i think they speak english, and aboringinalish

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Douglas T.
Love the sound of Cricketts in the morning! *chirp chirp* I have a poser...erp, a POOSTER. F4orgive mme, Doogie.

I gotta imagine alcohol is involved wit dis poost.

Welcome t2o mmy popular show.

I'm all ova da free and communist werlds.

Welcome, bro.

Doo yoo know anymore?

Spreichen sie, bitta!


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
i think they speak english, and aboringinalish WOT wood I doo wit out mmy co'ho's?

Thank yoo, Golden AWe.

Here's da deal.

I feel like taking da time t2o git dressed, butt I doon't want any DEAD AIR time on da thread.

Wot doo yoo think I should doo?

Doo Funland winters leave yoo cold?

DAVE has his fir1st guest aff da week.

Should I get Twiggy da Skiing Squirrel f4or mmy show t2omorrow, dude?


:spank:

[Cato]

Originally posted by Phil theStalker
I love tit, butt I cun't afford tit, da GANYA.

I'm cuntemployed while yoo juggle 9 jobs at o1nce.

Doo yoor bosses thing yoo are cheating on them when yoo're co-hosting here wit mme?

Wee doon't have any callers, wee've got POSTERS.

They routinely show up aroond 8:00am. I gotta check out mmy POLLL.

Dis show wit PHIL THE STALKER LIVE in da mmornings is AFF DA HOOK!



:spank:
once again, cure your stammer ASAP.

[Golden AWe]

winters leave me cold, but not as often as some of the grrrls!!!

ahahahaha...

i'll play some very funlandish music while you're dressing up, phil!

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Cato
once again, cure your stammer ASAP. I have a hell aff a hard time aff I try not t2o stammer, bro.

Tit's mmakes mme dizzy.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
winters leave me cold, but not as often as some of the grrrls!!!

ahahahaha...

i'll play some very funlandish music while you're dressing up, phil! Wood yoo play sum musick? DAVE has musuck when he's ranting aaboot his abestos filled studio. Didn't wee try dis yeeasterday?


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

POLLL:

8:30am 60 membas 206 guestits


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Tit's 8:3oam and yoo're reading da PHIL THE STALKER LIVE show inda mmornings onda INTWATNET, bayBEE!

Wot should t2omorrow's show bee called?

I'm taking another pollie, here.

uh u hu hu hu h uh uh uh u hu hu


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

i think i'll play some kingston wall first

http://www.ssmt-reviews.com/images/kingston/kingston1.jpg

"Where is the witchdoctor
Who drags me from this fear
What will I tell him so I make myself clear

I've got this bad taste in my mouth
And in my soul
I try to taste it,
Just to know what's going on

Some kind of tribulation
Strangles my mind
It makes me wonder
Do I have much more time
Manic depressions
Or just having too much time
With my mind

I keep on scratching
But the itching won't go
My legs turn red but I will have to go on

And when I come
I find you shining like the sun
I rest my whery head
But you wanna have fun"

[Phil theStalker]

PUMP UP DA MUSICK, GOLDEN Awe!

Yeehaa!

Where's da mp3 download link, dude?


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

pm me your e-mail where a mp3-song can fit and i'll send it to ya

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
pm me your e-mail where a mp3-song can fit and i'll send it to ya 4 da thread?


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Got any Klaatu?

I'm a very eesy person.

Dr. Marvelloo

LiTITle Neutrinoo


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

i cunt host it in the web

gotta skip it and move to the next subject!

[Cato]

good night phil. see ya tomorrow. and golden.

[Golden AWe]

cato is OFF

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
cato is OFF Bakk t2o o1ne co-host.

Why'd he have t2o goo?

Cun't he hold tit any longer?

uh u hu hu hu h h h h u hu h


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

POLLL:

9:00am 65 Members 223 Guests - I'm serious.


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

The double D is on air as well, the legend

like us

[Phil theStalker]

I put sum clothes on, butt I still smelly like PUKE.

Dat mmacaroni and beef VOMIT smells.

I need dirtier keywerds t2o get int2o yer mminds.

BIG DICK COLONOSTOMMY

Think aboot dat o1ne.

Take ovaa feew, Golden AWe mmy brotha.

I'm gooing outsside da mmy bedroom studio and feeding da birds.

Yoo are reading PHIL THE STALKER LIVE inda mmorning onda INTWATNET.

BRB


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

(i'll take over the whole show sooner or later)

yeah, don't sweat it! :)

take your time

[ThrillsNSpills]

http://www.shopexit9.com/e9_store/e9_pix/sphincterine_l.jpg

Announcer:
the Phil the Stalker show......sponsored by......Sphincterine

[Golden AWe]

uh oh

i don't like safe sex

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
(i'll take over the whole show sooner or later)

yeah, don't sweat it! :)

take your time Danka ((German?), Golden AWe.

I'm dressed and I just fed da liTITle birdies wit da BIRD FLU outside aff mmy bedroom PHIL THE STALKER LIVE SHOW Werldwide studios.

DAVE cun't doo dat or he'd fall aboot 30 floors.

I'm standing like DAVE and I've got mmy keyboard strapped ont2o mme wit mmy acoustick guitar strap.

I think I'm gonna doo dis wit mmy keyboard agin t2omorrow.

I've got a werking cuntcept f4or t2omorrow's show.

VANILLA FRIDAY

Afta da mayor aff kNew Orleans.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by ThrillsNSpills
http://www.shopexit9.com/e9_store/e9_pix/sphincterine_l.jpg

Announcer:
the Phil the Stalker show......sponsored by......Sphincterine Tit's a mmatter aff being able t2o decifer wot da hell dat mmeans, TnS.

Welcome aboard.

Wood yoo rather want a burger shot or a bowl aff corn flakes?

u hu h uh u hu hu hu h uh


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

POLLL:

9:30am 70 peeps 251 Guests - Smell da toxic waste!


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

I dunno.

Are da POLLLS coming faster?


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

PROMO TIME.

T2omorrow I've axed hitch1969 via PM t2o bee a GUEST on mmy PHIL THE STALKER LIVE SHOW onda INTWATNET inda mmornings.

WHO'S YOUR STALKER, BAYBEEEEEEE?!

PHIL!!!


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

T2OMORROW onda PHIL THE STALKER LIVE SHOW onda INTEATNET inda morning.

VANILLA FRIDAY

I'm gooing t2o have a poll t2o see aff I should call da show

vEnillE FridEy

Post yer choices here and i'll read them bef4ore my LIVE show t2omorrow.


:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

And Golden AWe will play LEIF GARRET mp3s.

TIT'S LEIF, HAVE SUM RESP-E-C-T!


Alrighty...

Another GRATE show is ova.

DAVE'S show, t2oo.

T22morrow in honor aff da hon-whore-able mayor who hasn't got a city, or a brain, the honorrable, dishonorrable RAYE NIGGIN.

And beelieve mme I know a think or t2wo aboot dat - MAYOR CHOCOLATE.

Join mme t2omorrow f4or da PHIL THE STALKER LIVE show onda INTWATNET whether yoo like it or not..

I'll bee here LIVE wit yoo, agin.

Talkin' trash aboot maoyor RAYGUN NIGGIN.

So aff yoo liked t2oday tell a friend.

I'm saving dis message borad and aboot 30 radio stations I help DAVE out on.;)

T2omorrow's PHIL THE STALKER Show F4or

VANILLA FRIDAY


:spank:

[Horseskin]

Prince PHIL show.

[flappo]

has main become the dump mk 2 ?

if so

grate !

[Phil theStalker]

flaps, dat's grate.

wood u like t2o submit a personals ad frree on mmy show?

:spank:

[Phil theStalker]

Chekc out mmy daily shitting posts.

I'm suing Stern.


:spank:

[Golden AWe]

it's turdsday again

[Phil theStalker]

Originally posted by Golden AWe
it's turdsday again When yoo think aboot tit.


:spank: