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Diamond Dave Still Shines
David Lee Roth… need we say more?
By Scott DeVaney
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As the dust clears and the pyrotechnic sparks settle from the ‘80s glam rock era, it has become clear that David Lee Roth was more than a mere frontman for Van Halen, or just a gigolo. He is a performance artist. That’s right. Performance artist. Now that 20 years have passed and we can look at the hair metal phenomenon without the hindrance of Oakley sunglasses, it’s clear that Diamond Dave not only embraced the excess of the ‘80s, but was also the first to satirize the decade’s iniquity. Come on, do you really think a rock star who tries to insure his genitals with Lloyds of London takes himself that seriously?
We spoke with Dave about his latest CD, the shamelessly titled Diamond Dave, an album consisting of seemingly odd choices for cover tunes. “I think the Beatles had a great idea with ‘Tomorrow Never Knows,’” explained Dave. “But our version is better. I think Jimi Hendrix had a great idea with ‘If 6 Was 9,’ and I think what he was originally envisioning is the way I did it. I’m glad to have been of assistance.” The weirdest thing of all? Diamond Dave is actually a pretty good record that veers from psychedelic soundscapes to Tom Waits-like wailing.
A word to the wise before we dive into the Q&A with Dave: Don’t get frustrated trying to make sense out of everything you’re about to read. Mr. Roth is obviously functioning on an evolved mental plain. “How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?” Dave rhetorically asked while trying to explain his persona. “Just one. He holds the bulb while the world rotates around him.” Well, okay then…
The Wave: How’ya doin’, Dave?
David Lee Roth: Best day of my entire life.
TW: Is that right?
DLR: I’d like to think of it as developmental. I’d like to think I’m not getting off the bus as the same guy who got on it 10 days ago.
TW: It’s been five years since your last album, what have you been up to?
DLR: I’m constantly involved with mixing the business with the pleasure. And since I preside over all the different departments – video, the album cover, production of the record – these are three different livelihoods. Usually one suffices for one individual, but by combining it with, “Hey, we’ll record the album in LA and New York, we’ll shoot the cover in Miami and London and I’m taking Spanish lessons, so let’s do the video in Mexico City.” Are you in, Scott? Depending on where the cash flow is bouncing around, you can make nine-tenths of that happen.
TW: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done at a backstage party?
DLR: Leave early.
TW: What are the necessary ingredients for a proper backstage party?
DLR: Complexion lighting is number one. You have to take color gels from the lighting guys and have some of the crew duct tape them into the lights in the ceiling. That way everybody looks like they’ve got Tom Cruise’s complexion, no matter what they’ve been eating for breakfast for the last three weeks. Also, the music. That’s even more important.
TW: Is it a faux pas to play your own music at your own backstage party?
DLR: No, but it depends on who you are. I’m a product of integrational bussing. When they started the program back in the early ‘60s – they started it in Pasadena, California – everything I listened to is what I call “floor.” I don’t care if it’s Fred Astaire or hip-hop, it needs that rhythmic element. It doesn’t matter if it’s rave or if it’s old school soul like Al Green. If it’s related to the floor, I adore! And that’s where you gotta go. Don’t make the mistake of playing hard rock. That’s great for strippers, but they’re accompanied by many on that floor.
TW: It seems you still have a fairly active social life. What’s your advice on how to keep the party going strong after so many years of decadence?
DLR: I don’t know what you do. I know how I wound up. I’m an intellectual slut. I did not chase so very many women along the way, but the ones that I have chased and still chase, we do it again and again. I think the idea is to have a genuine enthusiasm for what you do. Then when you celebrate, it’s that much more fun and it’s that much more satisfying. I think a lot of my colleagues are like inflate-a-stars now. They headed for the barbecue. They don’t genuinely enjoy what they do.
TW: What’s the biggest difference between the Dave of today and the Dave of 20 years ago?
DLR: I was very naïve to what was actually happening around me. I think, had I been illuminated 20 years ago to the ways and wiles of the legal field and the music business in general, or the media, I would have been bitter about it, so I ranged from angry to super celebrative and not much in between. Now I’m full of contempt. [laughs]
TW: How sad.
DLR: No no! Sad is different than full of contempt. Sonny Barger is full of contempt, so is Captain Blood, G.I. Joe, the Lone Ranger and Wonder Woman, so who’s laughing now? [laughs]
TW: Is it safe to say you were the first to marry rock ‘n’ roll and spandex?
DLR: No. But I was the first to make sense out of it. Crack any issue of Women’s Wear Daily, and two-thirds of the hottest babes in there are wearing what I call “tactical spandex.”
TW: Tactical spandex?
DLR: Yeah. Hey, wait a minute, aren’t they on Sony? [laughs]
TW: What is mankind’s greatest invention?
DLR: Well, I’ve maintained for many years that there’s not a single industrial or spiritual contribution to the greater good that has ever come out of a tropical zone. But I’ve amended that to include the bikini.
TW: What’s the most ridiculously frivolous thing you’ve ever purchased?
DLR: Stacy from Dallas. Hey, you can’t tell a book by its cover, but I can now tell how much she’s gonna cost ya. [laughs] And yes, I invented that one.
TW: I have to ask the obvious. How are relations right now with your former Van Halen band mates?
DLR: Oh, I caught ’em again with their hands in the piggy bank and had to sue. But hope springs eternal. I think we’ve been nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. Christ, if Eddie can find the building, anything can happen.
TW: Was there ever a time when you considered Eddie a good friend?
DLR: There was a time when they were doing what I thought would be great to do. That’s a very polite, group therapy, supportive way of saying it. We accomplished greatness. My capacity in that band was quarterback. You can’t expect different from a given instrumentalist. A guitar player spends probably a third of his adult life sitting quietly in the corner doing endless scales, over and over again. My forte is the English language. I use it like you do, like a gun.
TW: What did you want to be when you were a kid?
DLR: Black… I still kind of do judging from what I’ve been listening to on the stereo for the last, ohh, I don’t know, 45 years.
TW: Kung Fu is your martial art, right?
DLR: Yes, well, Nike Kung Fu. I generally run.
TW: But seriously, you practice with weapons, right?
DLR: Constantly. I’ve been doing it since I was 12 years old, long before I was into music.
TW: How does Kung Fu help you be a better rock star?
DLR: I think more than anything it’s informed my patience. It’s also affected my capacity to stay cool.
TW: Who is your hero?
DLR: I don’t know so much about specific heroes as opposed to what unifies a certain tribe. I’m not much for the psychology of the individual. I like anthropology. Show me what the bunch are doing. There used to be a pack around the turn of the century up through the ‘20s called the Masquers and they demonstrated, profoundly, what the greatest humorists like the Charlie Chaplins and the Laurel and Hardys and the authors like A.J. Pearlman had in common with all of the greatest cowboys and swashbucklers and adventurers. We all laugh to win. If you can do that, you’re my hero.
TW: Do you collect anything?
DLR: Drinking stories. My dad always used to say, “Well there’s one for the book,” never expecting that any of us would ever scribe one.
TW: Do you have any regrets?
DLR: Now that I realize how freaky-deaky easy it would have been to get a law degree from a correspondence course, I should’ve gotten one on the ass end of a tour bus. It may have taken me three times as long to get it, but I still would have gotten one years ago. And on that note, even in all my worst moments of “should I have been there,” or “should I have done that” added up, my voice wouldn’t sound like it does without all of that. The guitar won’t sound as good until it’s been in the pawn shop at least once.
TW: What’s the biggest misperception about you?
DLR: Vince Neil.
TW: Do you have any recurring dreams?
DLR: Well, I’m a very practical-minded individual. All that I dream of in a storybook sense is that I be respected by all, that children smile and beam at me as I walk by, that all small, household pets obey my every command and that I’m esteemed as the epitome of sexual perfection by the daughters and wives of all my enemies. That’s damn much to ask for, kid. Hey, I’m not going to stop rowin’. In fact, I’m gonna row like I stole something! [laughs]
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