The Dead Comic Thread

[LoungeMachine]

I really miss the 80's hey day of stand up, as well as the classic icons since departed like Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor.

I was throwing away some old VHS, and came across a tape of George Miller on Letterman, who I got to meet at Giggles in the U-district back in the day.

He had a great bit about the old Diet Coke commercial.

Remember the line?


Why do people drink Diet Coke?



George had a great answer.


I know why people drink Diet Coke.



They're fat, and they're thirsty.



Please post your favorite dead comic one liner or bit here.

We could use a few laughs these days.......

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

he ain;t dead, but he hasn't been funny in years, and this quote is more relevant today than ever. Even better, it was his OPENING line from a sold-out gig at Carnegie Hall. I mean, WHERE do you go when you start out with:

"Ever notice the women who are most against abortion are women you wouldn't even want to fuck in the first place?"

[Unchainme]

George Carlin had a few grate lines back in the day (He's Not Dead though.)

How Can White People Have The Blues, What? Bannana Republic Run out Of Khaki's?


Guess He's never heard Of Stevie Ray Vaughan.

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
he ain;t dead, but he hasn't been funny in years, and this quote is more relevant today than ever. Even better, it was his OPENING line from a sold-out gig at Carnegie Hall. I mean, WHERE do you go when you start out with:

"Ever notice the women who are most against abortion are women you wouldn't even want to fuck in the first place?"

sounds like Chris Rock.

who is it?

[Unchainme]

Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
"Ever notice the women who are most against abortion are women you wouldn't even want to fuck in the first place?"

, It's True too.

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Unchainme
George Carlin had a few grate lines back in the day (He's Not Dead though.)

How Can White People Have The Blues, What? Bannana Republic Run out Of Khaki's?


Guess He's never heard Of Stevie Ray Vaughan.

You do understand what dead means, right?


Jesus you 2..........I put DEAD in the fucking thread title.


Oh well.....

[Unchainme]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
You do understand what dead means, right?


Jesus you 2..........I put DEAD in the fucking thread title.


Oh well.....

Well ever since Joey "Died" the word has taken on a new meaning.

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

I DID say that his humor has been dead for years....

(sorta like if someone said "name some great One-Hit Wonder artists who are dead" I would IMMEDIATELY put YOU in that there list, Kip. And rightfully so.)

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
I DID say that his humor has been dead for years....

Who's?????

Jeezuz

LMMFAO

[Unchainme]

Here's something that Richard Pryor said to Eddie Murphy on the phone about Bill Cosby Calling Him up. That Eddie used in RAW.

Eddie Murphy: Richard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck *my* dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker."

(Does This Count?)

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

Richard Pryor will always and forever be THE KING.

See if you can guess who this one is:

(pretending to talk to an Ethiopian)

"Look at this, yeah, you know what this is? It's saaaand, yeah, that's right, saaaand. You know what it's gonna be in thirty years? IT'S GONNA BE SAND!!! FUCKING SAND!!! MOVE!!!! MOVE WHERE YOU CAN PLANT SOMETHING AND GROW SOME FOOD!!!! YOU LIVE IN THE FUCKING DESERT!!!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

WHOOPS, i thought you all guessed it...it was indeed the aforementioned george carlin on the abortion joke.

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
Richard Pryor will always and forever be THE KING.

See if you can guess who this one is:

(pretending to talk to an Ethiopian)

"Look at this, yeah, you know what this is? It's saaaand, yeah, that's right, saaaand. You know what it's gonna be in thirty years? IT'S GONNA BE SAND!!! FUCKING SAND!!! MOVE!!!! MOVE WHERE YOU CAN PLANT SOMETHING AND GROW SOME FOOD!!!! YOU LIVE IN THE FUCKING DESERT!!!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

It's Sam

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
It's Sam

Swish...

Another, different comic (actually, he was more of a comedic actor)

"It takes a big man to cry. And an even bigger man to laugh at that man."

[sisca]

Bill Hicks:
" ive been on what i call my flying saucer tour, which means , like flying saucers, i too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of handfuls of hillbillies...."

on david koresh:
"turns out koresh was a failed rock musician who loved guns and pussy, and had a messiah complex. sounds like every one of my friends in Austin! im just waiting for Will Sexton to open up a compound!"