10 Reasons to hate...

[Shaun Ponsonby]

SAMMY HAGAR

1) He looks like Ronald McDonald
Spammy Gaygar wears red and yellow pyjamas on stage, and these days she's fat. He also has red-ish hair on occasions. Therefore, he is Ronald McDonald


2) Tequila
Samuel Roy Hagar spends more time selling his tequila, Cabo Wabo, and his chain of bars, also called "Cabo Wabo" than making music (although, that's not nescceserily a bad thing). Your lastest album is called "The Tequila Made Me Do It", you wrote a song called "Cabo Wabo". Cunt.

3) His album covers
They have to be seen to be believed. "Voice of America" and "Boxed" are particular highlights.


4) His Songs
Once again, they need to be heard. "I Can't Drive 55"? Why don't you try. You never know, you might DIE, Spammy, you might die.

5) When he replaced David Lee Roth in Van Halen, he turned them into pure Cheese
They went from song titles like "Hot For Teacher", "Running With The Devil" and "Meanstreets", to "Why Can't This Be Love?", "Up For Breakfast" and "When It's Love". Spam-go fuck yourself, or get Michael Anthony to do it for you. Which brings us nicely to reason number 6...

6) Michael Anthony is your bitch
Of all the people in the world who could be your bum partner, you pick the simpleton bass player from Van Halen-the one no-one knows. You even had a series of gay porn movies, hence, number 7...

7) His Gay Porn Movies with Michael Anthony
Oh, yea-"Why Can't This Be Greasy Man-Love?", "Cabo Wanko", "I Can't Drive Whilst You're Sucking Me Off, Mike", "Voice of the Fags"-there are others.

8) His Hair
You poodle-haired Twat.

9) His Lies
"Van Halen sold more albums with me". Oh, really? Thats not what the official figures say. In reality, Van Halen with David Lee Roth sold over twice the amount they did with you-with the same amount of albums. Why don't you just stop lying, and dissing the diamond one and realise he is better than you.

10) He's Shit
I thought I'd save the most obvious until last.




That was 10 reasons to hate Sammy Hagar. Join us next time, when we will tell you why you should hate John Lennon.

[bueno bob]

Given time and inclination, I could think of three hundred more reasons...

At least.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Just sticking to 10 for now. Maybe I'll do a sequel one day.

[binnie]

No. 10 is more than enough of a reason

Can't think of any to like him actually.

[Shaun Ponsonby]

TRUE DAT.

[binnie]

although.....


Am I gonna get bitch slapped for saying that the first Montrose album was good?

Hagar was ok when he had but Ronnie montrose telling him what to do.

but that's one moment in 35 years of shit

[Reverberator]

I love Sam Hagar .

[Reverberator]

He's the best chip shop owner in Biggleswade .

And don't you ever forget it .

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Originally posted by binnie
although.....


Am I gonna get bitch slapped for saying that the first Montrose album was good?

Hagar was ok when he had but Ronnie montrose telling him what to do.

but that's one moment in 35 years of shit

Nope, there's a few of us who agree. Including, Sheep Pen founder Rikk and myself.

Where is Rikk anyways?

[Shaun Ponsonby]

10 Reasons To Hate...John Lennon

1) "Working Class Hero"?
John Lennon was not the "Working Class Hero"-he was middle-class. He even faked his accent, he was actually quite well spoken.

2) Yoko Ono
Imagine life without Yoko Ono. Bliss.

3) The Beatles Snob
Without John Lennon you wouldn't have The Beatles, and without The Beatles you wouldn't have The Beatles Snob, the guy who thinks they did everything there is to do in music. Which, they didn't.

4) Overrated
Wow! I can't believe I haven't said this yet. You can't say "overrated" enough when you're talking about John Lennon. Watch-overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated. See? It feels much better now doesn't it?

5) Lyrics
Nobody wrote an academic thesis on the inner meaning of lyrics before Lennon started wittering on about "newspaper taxis" and "marshmallow skies". Its all his fault. If he hadn't have done that, we'd have been spared Tipper Gore, and her saying rock music was evil and had hidden satanic messages. By the way-NOBODY GIVES A FUCK WHO THE FUCKING WALRUS WAS.

6) The Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles spoiled Christmas Day in 1968 when all the kids were all wrestled away from their turkey and Dennis The Menace annuals to watch "The Magical Mystery Tour"-the most frightful load of bollocks yet committed to celluloid. Including Yellow Submarine. And, yes, I am aware that it was actually broadcast in 1967, and not 1968., it doesn't make it any less sh*t. And, if you spotted that delibarate mistake, consider yourself a Beatles Snob (see reason 3).

7) Do-gooder Rockstar
Lennon was the first rockstar who wanted to save the world. Without him, we would have been spared Chris Martin, Bono and Bob Geldof.

8) Scousers HAVE to be Fans
People think that just because you are from Liverpool, you have to love everything Lennon-related. This makes you want to kill. Lets put it this way. A famous Queen fan=all round rice guy and sought-after DJ Bob Harris. A famous John Lennon fan=Charlie Manson. I rest my case.

9) Number Nine
Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9.

10) Britpop
His fault.



That was 10 reasons to hate John Lennon. Join us next time when we explore the faults of Sharon Osbourne (that one might be "To be continued...").

[bueno bob]

Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
10 Reasons To Hate...John Lennon

1) "Working Class Hero"?
John Lennon was not the "Working Class Hero"-he was middle-class. He even faked his accent, he was actually quite well spoken.

2) Yoko Ono
Imagine life without Yoko Ono. Bliss.

3) The Beatles Snob
Without John Lennon you wouldn't have The Beatles, and without The Beatles you wouldn't have The Beatles Snob, the guy who thinks they did everything there is to do in music. Which, they didn't.

4) Overrated
Wow! I can't believe I haven't said this yet. You can't say "overrated" enough when you're talking about John Lennon. Watch-overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated overrated. See? It feels much better now doesn't it?

5) Lyrics
Nobody wrote an academic thesis on the inner meaning of lyrics before Lennon started wittering on about "newspaper taxis" and "marshmallow skies". Its all his fault. If he hadn't have done that, we'd have been spared Tipper Gore, and her saying rock music was evil and had hidden satanic messages. By the way-NOBODY GIVES A FUCK WHO THE FUCKING WALRUS WAS.

6) The Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles spoiled Christmas Day in 1968 when all the kids were all wrestled away from their turkey and Dennis The Menace annuals to watch "The Magical Mystery Tour"-the most frightful load of bollocks yet committed to celluloid. Including Yellow Submarine. And, yes, I am aware that it was actually broadcast in 1967, and not 1968., it doesn't make it any less sh*t. And, if you spotted that delibarate mistake, consider yourself a Beatles Snob (see reason 3).

7) Do-gooder Rockstar
Lennon was the first rockstar who wanted to save the world. Without him, we would have been spared Chris Martin, Bono and Bob Geldof.

8) Scousers HAVE to be Fans
People think that just because you are from Liverpool, you have to love everything Lennon-related. This makes you want to kill. Lets put it this way. A famous Queen fan=all round rice guy and sought-after DJ Bob Harris. A famous John Lennon fan=Charlie Manson. I rest my case.

9) Number Nine
Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9.

10) Britpop
His fault.



That was 10 reasons to hate John Lennon. Join us next time when we explore the faults of Sharon Osbourne (that one might be "To be continued...").

I agree with every single bit of this.

I hate pretentious musicians.

[Dave's Bitch]

i also hate john lennon....although i know a guy who looks like him,he is cool

[binnie]

I don't HATE Lennon, I hate the ideal he has become, this semi-Christlike demi God!

Yes he was pretentious, but like Cobain, the press and the fans idealize him so much he is reinvented as something he never was.

But it certainly needed to be said SP

Well done Sir

[Shaun Ponsonby]

Its funny, he is considered a musical genius, but the only solo track most people can mention of his is "Imagine", whereas most people can name a number of Wings tracks.

[sadaist]

Originally posted by Shaun Ponsonby
[B] [U] Why don't you just stop lying, and dissing the diamond one and realise he is better than you.

Is this the Roth Army, or the I can't get over Sammy Hagar Army? The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. So quit showing how much you care about this guy and move on.