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Dressed in black shorts.....goatees.....maybe a buncha piercings....lotsa tattoos...at least one other member of the band has their hair in braids or dreads.....
Singer up front pretending to be so angry....sounding as if he was taking a crap after eating some green chile burritos and drinking Everclear all night....and being told they have to go to Church.....by the grandma they are mooching off of while trying to become famous....
Oh PUH-LEEEZE!
Watched some of Headbangers Ball this evening.....
Here is the trick....if you want to stand out from all the other Heavy Bands...SING!!!!
Stop that shouting crap!!
Everyone who shouts sounds the fucking same...as if they are fucking shouting!!!!
Commercial for the Autumn Offering's new album was just on....the dude was just shouting in key......
The only way you can truly sound original is to fucking SING!
If you are so bad a singer, (or lame) then don't become a shouter....you only sound fucking stupid, but you guarantee when you are 50 you will be able to do little more than croak...and you will sound FUCKING IDENTICAL TO EVERY OTHER FUCKING BAND WITH SOME KINDA GUY (or girl..I must allow equal rights for all except Joe Thudner) WHO STANDS THERE SOUNDING LIKE AN ENRAGED AND DRUNK BOBCAT WHOSE ASS IS BEING SANDED DOWN WITH A BELT SANDER WITH 30 GRIT SAND PAPER ON IT WHILE BEING SET ON FIRE!!!!
(Note: The author does not condone hurting or mutilating aminuls in any way. The above Bobcat Allegory is meant as a desription of something you would not understand if you were offended by it. So you PETA fuckers can go right back to eating your meat by-product sandwiches and raw greaseburgers).
There has only been one shouter band I ever really got into....the KINGS Of Shouter Metal...
PANTERA!!!!
Hey man Phil actually sang his ass off on the first record!!!
But nobody could beat him as a shouter...he could sound more horribly horrifying than anyone....
Right now on HBB there is a half hour special on Motorhead with live videos from their latest DVD Stagefright (which kicks total ass by the way!!!).
Arguments could be supplied accusing Lemmy of being a shouter, but the difference is that he is actually singing.
These young shouter bands just want to sound as if their vocals were being drowned inside a garbage compactor that had been thrown in the back of a huge garbage truck with 34 chain saws, 14 lawnmowers and 76 weed-eaters all running at full blast while being crushed by the garbage truck.
Lemmy just sings the lyrics while imitating the shouter style, and kicks fucking ass.
So he is excused from these rantings.
Commercial for Kataklysm and Dimmu Borgir on Nuclear Blast records was just on...I could not tell the difference between them.
Heh...a band called "Through The Eyes Of The Dead"...they sound completely pointless.
The singer is on a rasp that makes the Bobcat Allegory sound like an angelic choir.
The band is pummeling their instruments to the extreme for about 3 or 4 minutes with this ignorant sandpaper bullshit over the top of it.....
Who in the FUCK is gonna remember something like that?
Back in the 60s & 70s old people called The Stones, Zeppelin & Hendrix "noise" but they were actual musicians. Who wrote actual music.
Call me an old curmudgeon motherfucker if you must, but I think all shouter people should be given the chance to prove they can sing, and if they cannot, ban them from ever performing anywhere ever again.
PPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!
End rant here I suppose....
Singer up front pretending to be so angry....sounding as if he was taking a crap after eating some green chile burritos and drinking Everclear all night....and being told they have to go to Church.....by the grandma they are mooching off of while trying to become famous....
Oh PUH-LEEEZE!
Watched some of Headbangers Ball this evening.....
Here is the trick....if you want to stand out from all the other Heavy Bands...SING!!!!
Stop that shouting crap!!
Everyone who shouts sounds the fucking same...as if they are fucking shouting!!!!
Commercial for the Autumn Offering's new album was just on....the dude was just shouting in key......
The only way you can truly sound original is to fucking SING!
If you are so bad a singer, (or lame) then don't become a shouter....you only sound fucking stupid, but you guarantee when you are 50 you will be able to do little more than croak...and you will sound FUCKING IDENTICAL TO EVERY OTHER FUCKING BAND WITH SOME KINDA GUY (or girl..I must allow equal rights for all except Joe Thudner) WHO STANDS THERE SOUNDING LIKE AN ENRAGED AND DRUNK BOBCAT WHOSE ASS IS BEING SANDED DOWN WITH A BELT SANDER WITH 30 GRIT SAND PAPER ON IT WHILE BEING SET ON FIRE!!!!
(Note: The author does not condone hurting or mutilating aminuls in any way. The above Bobcat Allegory is meant as a desription of something you would not understand if you were offended by it. So you PETA fuckers can go right back to eating your meat by-product sandwiches and raw greaseburgers).
There has only been one shouter band I ever really got into....the KINGS Of Shouter Metal...
PANTERA!!!!
Hey man Phil actually sang his ass off on the first record!!!
But nobody could beat him as a shouter...he could sound more horribly horrifying than anyone....
Right now on HBB there is a half hour special on Motorhead with live videos from their latest DVD Stagefright (which kicks total ass by the way!!!).
Arguments could be supplied accusing Lemmy of being a shouter, but the difference is that he is actually singing.
These young shouter bands just want to sound as if their vocals were being drowned inside a garbage compactor that had been thrown in the back of a huge garbage truck with 34 chain saws, 14 lawnmowers and 76 weed-eaters all running at full blast while being crushed by the garbage truck.
Lemmy just sings the lyrics while imitating the shouter style, and kicks fucking ass.
So he is excused from these rantings.
Commercial for Kataklysm and Dimmu Borgir on Nuclear Blast records was just on...I could not tell the difference between them.
Heh...a band called "Through The Eyes Of The Dead"...they sound completely pointless.
The singer is on a rasp that makes the Bobcat Allegory sound like an angelic choir.
The band is pummeling their instruments to the extreme for about 3 or 4 minutes with this ignorant sandpaper bullshit over the top of it.....
Who in the FUCK is gonna remember something like that?
Back in the 60s & 70s old people called The Stones, Zeppelin & Hendrix "noise" but they were actual musicians. Who wrote actual music.
Call me an old curmudgeon motherfucker if you must, but I think all shouter people should be given the chance to prove they can sing, and if they cannot, ban them from ever performing anywhere ever again.
PPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!
End rant here I suppose....
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