Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards."

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Ozzy Fudd
    Veteran
    • Jan 2004
    • 1667

    Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards."

    The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM).

    That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.

    Here are this year's winners:

    5th Place (tie):
    Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
    running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.


    5th Place (tie):
    19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
    expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

    5th Place (tie):
    Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
    just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
    garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
    malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door
    connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
    family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the
    garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

    IMO this is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place!

    4th Place:
    Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and
    medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
    neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
    might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who
    had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    3rd Place:

    A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink
    and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    2nd Place:
    Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
    night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom
    window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred
    while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies
    room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

    And Now...

    1st Place:
    This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
    Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
    Roth Army MP
    Originally posted by Panamark
    Is there such a thing as a trailer park virgin?
    or is that just a chick that can run faster than her father and brothers ??
    Originally posted by BITEYOASS
    She looks like someone I wake up to after a night of drinking. Or someone I'd bang so a buddy of mine can get her hotter friend.
    Originally posted by JAY HALE
    so how's about you stop lying, log off and go practice.
  • Dan
    DIAMOND STATUS
    • Jan 2004
    • 12194

    #2
    LOL

    You have Fucked up systems in The States.
    First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.

    Comment

    • MAPRamone
      Head Fluffer
      • Jun 2006
      • 460

      #3
      Terrence Dickinson should have tied for first place IMO...
      dm/dt=kA (Cs-C)

      Comment

      • Coyote
        ROTH ARMY SUPREME
        • Jan 2004
        • 8185

        #4
        Only in America...

        A judicial system that actually is FOR the people. (/sarcasm)

        Thank Satan that quick-draw-lawsuits attitude hasn't started spreading out on to the world... yet.
        Why settle for something you have, if it's not as good as something you're out to get?

        Originally posted by Seshmeister
        It's like putting up a YouTube of Bach and playing Chopstix on your Bontempi...

        Comment

        • distortion9
          Sniper
          • Mar 2004
          • 784

          #5
          Thought this was gonna be about beer.

          http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...sternsucks.jpg

          http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y80...9e45f7d735.jpg

          Your mom's box!

          Comment

          • Terry
            TOASTMASTER GENERAL
            • Jan 2004
            • 11957

            #6
            It's just fuckin' GREAT that if you're a complete fuckin' idiot in this country, not only will you NOT be held accountable for the results of your actions, but you'll get compensated for being a dumbass.
            Scramby eggs and bacon.

            Comment

            • binnie
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • May 2006
              • 19145

              #7
              So essentialy, someone else can be held responsible for our own stupidity!

              I could be a millionaire!!
              The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

              Comment

              Working...