Chad Johnson's List

[HELLVIS]

As many fans know, Chad Johnson of the Cincinnati Beengals had a "Who can cover Chad Johnson" check-list at his locker last season, with a week by week break down of who would be matched up against him, followed by two boxes marked "yes" and "no". Each week, after the game, he would check a box on the local news. Of course he always checked "no" after each defender's name.

This year he has turned it up a notch with a giant public check-list. Of course he will check "no" again every week.

I however, have decided to make a list of my own. I think I'll call it.....

WHO CAN SHUT CHAD JOHNSON'S BIG ASS MOUTH

WEEK 1 vs Kansas City.........
No dancing for Chad. These Chiefs saw what the Packers did to him in pre-season and did the same. The result...48 yards and no TD's.

What's that Chad? I can't hear you.

[HELLVIS]

WEEK 2 vs Cleveland.........
While Chad did catch a TD, he was shut up when a pass intended for him was picked off by Leigh Bodden. Later, near the end of the game, as he pranced up the field, we were all treated to a look at his cute little blonde mohawk, when my favorite new comedian, Brian Russell left Chad (and me) in stitches. OH! That had to hurt. Mr. Russell hit him so hard, his helmet went up into the cheap seats. Chad went home tonight quiet, with the exception of the occasional wimper.

Excuse me Chad. What's that? Aaa... no, those little birds flying around your head aren't real.

[HELLVIS]

Next week......STEELERS! I can't wait!

[vheddyrmv8]

I personally hope no one stops him, I need more production out of him for my fantasy team.

[HELLVIS]

WEEK 3...
While the Steelers GAVE The Been gals the game by passing the ball to the guys in tiger stripes and muffing kicks. Chad had little or nothing to do with the win. So, to answer Chud's question ( Who can cover Chump Johnson? ) .....ANYONE IN A BLACK HELMET!

[HELLVIS]

WEEK 4...

Did Chaddy even play? I can't remember seeing him. Hell, for that matter, did the Been gals even play. From what I remember, Tom Brady just lead his team up and down the field all day unopposed.

Guess Chad was once again stopped.

[HELLVIS]

WEEK 5....

OH MY GOD!!!!!
A break out week by #85 Chump Johnson. No one covered or stopped him! Oh, I was just informed that the Cincinnati Bungholes had a bye.
.....never mind.

[HELLVIS]

Week 6...

Holy Cow!! Nad Johnson ( he's practically a dick either way ) seems to be on a roll. Two weeks in a row now, he has not been stopped. He shreaded the lowly Tampa Bay Bucs for a hefty 99 yards. His efforts however, could not bring a win to the egoed-out Suckinnati Bangles.

DEY WHO...DEY WHO...DEY WHO GONNA BEAT DEM BENGALS!!!

[HELLVIS]

WEEK 7...

The team, Carolina. The place, Suckinnati Ohio. The bad, the Bengays were victorious. The good, Chad was stopped. 73 yards, no TDs.

After the game, even though he once again had no TDs, the lips were flapping. He has been all over the TV, radio, and news papers bragging that he will catch 2 TDs week 8 against Atlanta. He went on to tell reporters that from now on, unless he is addressed as "ocho cinco" he will no longer grant interviews. In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny.....WHAT A MOROON!
By the way Chad, since you are going to make retarded demands, I think you should know that "ocho cinco" means eight five. You want "Ochenta y Cinco" you dumb-ass! Hey, just tryin' to hook a brotha up.

[DLR7884]

He did ok yesterday.

DLR7884
Why the hatred?