Man, 33, Claims He Has Not Seen Britney Spears’ Vagina

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  • VHrocks
    Banned
    • Jan 2004
    • 224

    Man, 33, Claims He Has Not Seen Britney Spears’ Vagina

    A Columbus, Ohio man held a press conference today to announce that he has yet to see Britney Spears’ vagina, in spite of the nearly ubiquitous images of it readily available on the Internet.

    Randy Klujian, 33, a real estate salesman in suburban Columbus, said that he was making his announcement in order to cement his place in history as the only person in North America, if not the industrialized world, never to have seen Ms. Spears’ private parts.

    “I have not seen Britney Spears’ vagina,” Mr. Klujian said to a skeptical press corps. “I have been really busy with work and I haven’t gotten around to it.”

    But even as Mr. Klujian made his startling announcement, friends and experts alike came forward to cast doubt on his claim that he has never seen the recording artist’s omnipresent genitalia.

    “I like Randy, but this whole thing smacks of a hoax,” said Harland Tenill, one of Mr. Klujian’s co-workers. “I think it’s kind of sad that he would do something like this to get attention.”

    Davis Logsdon, who studies the impact of celebrities’ private parts on American culture at the University of Minnesota, agreed that Mr. Klujian’s claim seemed “far-fetched,” but allowed that it was “in the realm of possibility.”

    “It’s possible that someone could have a working Internet connection and still not see Britney Spears’ vagina,” Mr. Logsdon said. “It’s not like he claimed that he never saw Paris Hilton’s vagina.”

    Elsewhere, a new study shows that the majority of the nation’s sexual predators are on “Dateline NBC.”
    Link: http://www.borowitzreport.com/archiv...rec=6667&srch=

  • Diamondjimi
    DIAMOND STATUS
    • May 2004
    • 12086

    #2
    Is this guy for real? These whores pussy are like the fuckin Zapruder film...EVERYONE'S seen them.....
    Trolls take heed...LOG OUT & FUCK OFF!!!

    Comment

    • Dan
      DIAMOND STATUS
      • Jan 2004
      • 12194

      #3
      whatever.
      First Roth Army Kiwi To See Van Halen Live 6/16/2012 Phoenix Arizona.

      Comment

      • bantonelli
        Crazy Ass Mofo
        • Nov 2004
        • 2629

        #4
        Re: Man, 33, Claims He Has Not Seen Britney Spears’ Vagina

        Originally posted by VHrocks
        Link: http://www.borowitzreport.com/archiv...rec=6667&srch=

        Sounds more like the only Armenian without a "Klu" ??:confused:

        Put him down in the Record Books? No.

        Knowing where to find the different parts of a Woman's anatomy? Again, he has no "Klu".
        "Meet us in the Future.....NOT the Pasture".......DLR, August '07, VH Press Conference - Tour '07-'08

        Comment

        • BITEYOASS
          ROTH ARMY ELITE
          • Jan 2004
          • 6530

          #5
          This sounds lie a story from "The Onion."

          Comment

          • Panamark
            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Jan 2004
            • 17160

            #6
            Well he obviously doesnt visit the Army !
            BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
            Love ya Mary Frances!

            Comment

            • Panamark
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Jan 2004
              • 17160

              #7
              I wonder if K-fed has seen her Vagina ??
              Methinks he would spend the whole time looking
              in a mirror !!
              BABY PANA 2 IS Coming !! All across the land, let the love and beer flow !
              Love ya Mary Frances!

              Comment

              • MAX
                Rotharmy Gladiator

                DIAMOND STATUS
                • Jan 2004
                • 12995

                #8
                When I think of either Titney's or Paris' snatches, three words ALWAYS come (notice I said "come" and NOT "cum!") to mind...

                Those being UTI...

                Urinary Tract Infections

                Those two have to be the biggest whores and holes EVER!!!

                Seriously, when I've seen the snapshots of their collective snatches, I truly become nautious.

                I wouldn't fuck either one of them with Joe Thunder's dick!!!
                EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

                Comment

                • sadaist
                  TOASTMASTER GENERAL
                  • Jul 2004
                  • 11625

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Panamark
                  Well he obviously doesnt visit the Army !
                  No shit. If there's a pic of a celebrities fur burger, it'll be here first. I love this place.
                  “Great losses often bring only a numb shock. To truly plunge a victim into misery, you must overwhelm him with many small sufferings.”

                  Comment

                  • Mr Badguy
                    Full Member Status

                    • Jan 2004
                    • 3564

                    #10
                    That`s all well and good but has he SMELLED it?
                    sigpic

                    Sitting on a park bench!

                    Comment

                    • binnie
                      DIAMOND STATUS
                      • May 2006
                      • 19145

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Mr Badguy
                      That`s all well and good but has he SMELLED it?
                      Ha Ha!!

                      I'd quite like those pics to have been posted in magazines with a "scratch and sniff" facility!
                      The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

                      Comment

                      • sadaist
                        TOASTMASTER GENERAL
                        • Jul 2004
                        • 11625

                        #12
                        Originally posted by binnie
                        Ha Ha!!

                        I'd quite like those pics to have been posted in magazines with a "scratch and sniff" facility!
                        Just hold a trout under your nose while viewing them. Problem solved.
                        “Great losses often bring only a numb shock. To truly plunge a victim into misery, you must overwhelm him with many small sufferings.”

                        Comment

                        • Anonymous
                          Banned
                          • May 2004
                          • 12748

                          #13
                          Originally posted by MAX
                          When I think of either Titney's or Paris' snatches, three words ALWAYS come (notice I said "come" and NOT "cum!") to mind...

                          Those being UTI...

                          Urinary Tract Infections

                          Those two have to be the biggest whores and holes EVER!!!

                          Seriously, when I've seen the snapshots of their collective snatches, I truly become nautious.

                          I wouldn't fuck either one of them with Joe Thunder's dick!!!
                          Why bother posting when someone has already spelled it out for you?

                          Yeah, parasitic in a sense, but...

                          Cheers! :bottle:

                          Comment

                          • Terry
                            TOASTMASTER GENERAL
                            • Jan 2004
                            • 11961

                            #14
                            Originally posted by BITEYOASS
                            This sounds lie a story from "The Onion."
                            My thoughts exactly
                            Scramby eggs and bacon.

                            Comment

                            • blonddgirl777
                              ROCKSTAR

                              • Mar 2005
                              • 5805

                              #15
                              So what is he trying to prove?
                              Who is he trying to impress?

                              Big fuck'n deal!
                              http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e9...oman-movie.jpg
                              Originally posted by Nitro Express
                              ... What erases the linger of horniness more than Al Quaida? Then blondegirl can post some new hot dudes and stir a new wave of horniness...
                              Originally posted by Jérôme Frenchise
                              [B]... Cooking, I mean Cooking, is men's field...
                              http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e9...i_triangle.jpg
                              Originally posted by VanHalener
                              ... Fight the Good Fight and Win!...
                              Originally posted by FORD
                              ... And let's face it, if mothers (except Chelsea Clinton's) ruled this world, there would be no goddamned war in the first place...

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