Unchainme
02-04-2007, 02:51 PM
Van Halen
A shit band that consisted of two gay brothers; one fat, bearded bassist; and whomever Eddie is banging that week.
David Lee Roth is a gay old man with a shit hairstyle. He was kicked out of the band in 1985 for combing his pubes too much. Plus, he went insane whenever he was within eyesight of brown M&Ms. Sammy Hagar is a fat, ginger bastard who made this crap band even worse. He has the stage presence of a wet piece of lettuce. Gary Cherone is a self-admitted homo who destroyed the band even more!
David Lee Roth later became the host of a shitty radio show which sucked dick because he was a major pussy about sniffing glue for the company.
Sammy Hagar, who kicked ass in Montrose, later went solo and wrote songs about bathing in booze and donating what little money he has left to fund W's reign of terror.
Van Halen took another blow (it's starting to look like a businessman in a Thailand brothel) when David Lee Roth released Strumming with the Devil. Basically, he took the work of Van Halen and took a big taco dump all over it. It sucked so bad that William Hung's CD beat it in the charts of retards with buck teeth.
Now, Van Halen makes songs about having gay sex, but they're too pussy to come out and say it, so they mix it in with lyrics about eating breakfast, Eddie Van Halen's prostate cancer, and Geritol.
[edit]
Van Hagar
In the year 1986, Van Halen created an album called "5150". This was perhaps the gayest, dumbest album ever. With Sammy Hagar on vocals, they created such great hits as Dreams and Love Walks In. Once again the GAYEST songs ever to be recorded by this band. Fucking idiots. Why Sammy Hagar? WHY?????
With this one fell swoop the ruination of the band was complete, and thanks to Sammy Hagar there will always be those two extremely gay songs out there.
[edit]
Trivia
* Right Now is the only non-gay song from the Van Hagar era.
* David Lee Roth > Sammy Hagar > Gary Cherone
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Van_Halen
A shit band that consisted of two gay brothers; one fat, bearded bassist; and whomever Eddie is banging that week.
David Lee Roth is a gay old man with a shit hairstyle. He was kicked out of the band in 1985 for combing his pubes too much. Plus, he went insane whenever he was within eyesight of brown M&Ms. Sammy Hagar is a fat, ginger bastard who made this crap band even worse. He has the stage presence of a wet piece of lettuce. Gary Cherone is a self-admitted homo who destroyed the band even more!
David Lee Roth later became the host of a shitty radio show which sucked dick because he was a major pussy about sniffing glue for the company.
Sammy Hagar, who kicked ass in Montrose, later went solo and wrote songs about bathing in booze and donating what little money he has left to fund W's reign of terror.
Van Halen took another blow (it's starting to look like a businessman in a Thailand brothel) when David Lee Roth released Strumming with the Devil. Basically, he took the work of Van Halen and took a big taco dump all over it. It sucked so bad that William Hung's CD beat it in the charts of retards with buck teeth.
Now, Van Halen makes songs about having gay sex, but they're too pussy to come out and say it, so they mix it in with lyrics about eating breakfast, Eddie Van Halen's prostate cancer, and Geritol.
[edit]
Van Hagar
In the year 1986, Van Halen created an album called "5150". This was perhaps the gayest, dumbest album ever. With Sammy Hagar on vocals, they created such great hits as Dreams and Love Walks In. Once again the GAYEST songs ever to be recorded by this band. Fucking idiots. Why Sammy Hagar? WHY?????
With this one fell swoop the ruination of the band was complete, and thanks to Sammy Hagar there will always be those two extremely gay songs out there.
[edit]
Trivia
* Right Now is the only non-gay song from the Van Hagar era.
* David Lee Roth > Sammy Hagar > Gary Cherone
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Van_Halen