Van Halen Lyte, Meet Holly The Humper Doll

[POJO_Risin]

You know something...

fucking enough of this.

This is a David Lee Roth site.

This is a fucking Classic Van Halen site.

This isn't a fucking Tribute to all that's Van Halen site.

This isn't a fucking "Too fucking far past our prime with a 15 year old as our motivator" site...

This isn't a "Hey, watch me tour with a velvet wearing homo, and a cheddar wearing bozo, THEN call Dave" site...

This isn't a fucking, "Yeah, can't wait to see Hagar at the hall of fame" site...

I don't get it. I don't get some of you that call yourselves Roth Army soldiers...

I sat around after 1985...and waited for a reunion...

and the rumors circulated...

there was a rumor after 0U812, and a rumor in 1992. There were several after 1992, when Ed and Sammy's relationship visibly soured. Then came 1996.

1996.

For those of us that still gave spED SOME creedance...lost it that day.

You know the day...

I like to call it...THE DAY OF 'THE CUP.'

I looked crookED square and the eyes...witnessed utter insanity.

Little did I know that it was the beginning of a sordid twist down the mentally fucked up highway known as 5150 (ironic...eh?).

Enter the Alien in a velvet brown leisure suit...

Exit the Alien in a velvet brown leisure suit...

Enter Dave...

Exit Dave...quickly...lawyers...you know...

Enter...well...noone...for a long time...

Exit Tongue...

Enter Tubby...

Enter one of the worst tours of all time...that stole money from morons...

Exit Tubby...

and through it all...

the title Van Halen...

bastardized...

and TRUE fans of this band were forced into a fucking Coca Cola Classic state of not being allowed to just fucking saying Van Halen...

Classic Van Halen...born...and such a waste of breath....

but thanks to stupED...it's a fact.

Exit all credibility...

Enter porn music...

Enter porn girlfriend as publicist FOR THE BAND.

Exit any chance of fucking doing anything worthwhile...ever...

with any formation of the band...in any fucking form.

The Roth Army stands firm...no fucking way are we going to fucking sit around for...some of us...22 years...and have that fucking mentally finger-fucked in the cranium douchebag set the tone...

And then comes the announcement...

Roth is back in...2007...Hall of Fame...

and...

No Michael...

but Wolfgang...

So...I sit here and think to myself..."Well, if Roth were touring, I'd go see him."

So...I do believe GOING to see Roth is one thing...

but then I start seeing "Van Halen Reunion" tags...and Van Halen is back...

And Roth and Eddie...

Let's be clear...

Roth and Eddie ARE Van Halen...Classic Van Halen that is...

Roth and Eddie...

Not Roth and spEDdie...

Most will say it has to be with Michael or nothing...and I'm fine with that...

but I don't agree with it.

I could give a fuck about Michael...or Alex for that matter...

I could give a fuck if Wolfie finds a fucking way to play bass with is hands, and drums with his ass...

fine...

but...it's all about Dave and Eddie....

hating the shit out of each other...splitting it down the middle...

both controlled insanity...

Not one settling...and the other one settling in a straight jacket...

Call it what you will...

a Reunion...

Van Halen Returns...

But what it all ends up being...

is a sex romp with Holly the Humper...

so...if you like rolling in the hay with the fake, plastic version of the real deal...

ENJOY the RIDE...

The Roth ARMY will continue listening to the Six Pack...and the bootlegs...and the Greatest American Rock and Roll band that ever lived...

The Roth Army sill watch Roth...and realize that THIS ISN'T Van Halen...

But Roth applying a bookend (note the word end) so that he can move on...

Peace...Love...

and quit fucking selling this as the SECOND COMING...

it's not...

that is all...

[Sarge's Little Helper]

So sayeth POJO,

Let it be so.

[Oxford]

HOO-YA Mr.Pojo amen to VanHalen in all it glory.Being a ROTH fan is a lifestyle you either have it in you or you don't amen bro.

[Vinnie Velvet]

Amen, brother POJ', amen.

[Atomic Dyver]

There it is...enough said.

But the waiting seems to have made everyone insane to the point of taking any chance to see Dave and Eddie play the classics. To stick it to Gaygar for watering down and tarnishing the great Van Halen name.

This puts it all back in perspective...thanks

[LoungeMachine]

It's on

Beware you back-peddlin'', pole-sittin', sunshine supermen....

You know who you are.

[Dave's PA Rental]

I just wanted to see Dave on stage with Eddie, one fucking time.

[Panamark]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
It's on

Beware you back-peddlin'', pole-sittin', sunshine supermen....

You know who you are.

Hey I resemble that comment,
Before I answer, you takin a shot ??

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Panamark
Hey I resemble that comment,
Before I answer, you takin a shot ??

You might be a sunshine superman, but I'd never paint you as a back-peddler.

Once the prozac wears off, you'll join the rest of us.

I have faith.

You were just blinded by the light

[LoungeMachine]

Originally posted by Dave's PA Rental
I just wanted to see Dave on stage with Eddie, one fucking time.

...yet deep down inside you just KNEW the tubes were blown on this thing before it was even plugged in.

Right?

[Panamark]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine


You might be a sunshine superman, but I'd never paint you as a back-peddler.

Once the prozac wears off, you'll join the rest of us.

I have faith.

You were just blinded by the light

LM !

Im still blinded, fuck me dead, I can actually find positives
in that article.. Dave has not said its over, he is still in
the band, and most importantly, Ed's son (the one thing
he actually respects and doesnt want to let down)
is the drivin farkin force !!!

It aint over yet

[LoungeMachine]

Panamark.


Every silver lining has a cloud


LM

[Dave's PA Rental]

Originally posted by LoungeMachine
...yet deep down inside you just KNEW the tubes were blown on this thing before it was even plugged in.

Right?

I will not give up hope that I will see Dave and Eddie on stage one day.

Several people pointed out early on that this thing could implode at any time, and that it will only be happening AS IT IS HAPPENING, and I agreed, and agree, with them.

Wolfie on bass for a summer tour seems too far fetched. But looking at that pic from Rolling Stone...makes me want to think he could do it. And Dave thinks he's good...

I guess deep down, i'm not really that surprised that this appears to be 'off again'.

What a circus.

[diamondsgirl]

I really wanted Roth to have the final last word in Van Halen, but I'm pretty sick and tired of the roller coaster at this point

seriously...nice post Pojo

[POJO_Risin]

It's really not about seeing Eddie and Dave on Stage one time...

it's the promotion of the people on this site that it's some kind of fucking second coming of Van Halen.

It's not...

if you want to see what Dave and Eddie were all about...

watch the boots...

if you want to watch a neutered version...wait until they tour...

and when you go, and think it's the greatest thing ever...then let it sit for a day...

and realize it's not even close...

that it's not even close to that old, grainy...shitty ass boot you have...

well...

call Holly...