Fortune Cookies can suck my fucking dick!!!

[WARF]

I ordered Chinese food last night with my fucking girlfriend. I spent 6 hours with her beforehand screamin' and fucking yellin' about stupid fucking shit... I don't even remember what it was about... anyways... when the food arrived... she poured the wonton fucking soup over my head.... and I dumped the MOO GOO GI PAN.... in her fucking face!!!

To make a long story short... she fuckin' left...

And I fucking got wasted at a bar...

While i'm drinking.. and reaching for a cigarette...

I notice there is a fucking fortune cookie in my pocket... crushed and whatnot...

I opened it up... and it said...

"You are a happy man"

WITH A FUCKING SMILEY FACE AT THE END!!!!!

FUCK YOU MR. FUCKING CHINESE COOKIE!!!!!

YOU CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK!!!!


Anyways...

On the back of the fortune it said, "293".

I am thinking about playing CASH 3...

SO I CAN AFFORD A GUN WITH SOME BULLETS AND FUCKING KILL MYSELF!!!!

warf out

[WARF]

Fuck it... let's just bomb CHINA!!!!!

[PETE'S BROTHER]

no suicide!! unless you are topjim2y

[WARF]

LOL

You mean ritetoolforjob

[PETE'S BROTHER]

and 3lockcock

[WARF]

three lock rock is the alias for a few people here fufilling their Sammy Hagar sexual fantasies.

[VanHalener]

Easy, bro

We all have our moments of fighting with loved ones. You said it yourself, "..yellin' about stupid fucking shit...," and that's not worth ending important things in our life, let alone our life. You two will work it out.

Here... I want you to take this and I think you'll feel better...
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[bastardog]

Maybe you are happy inside all your un-happiness...

[VanHalener]

I just talked to this lady over the phone and she assured me she did not make the cookie you had. Don't worry, I'll find who did it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxccEr21dmA

[WARF]

Don't turn this into a warf suicide thread lol...

[WARF]

Originally posted by bastardog
Maybe you are happy inside all your un-happiness...

How very Sigmund Freudian of you.... lol

[Cult of Roth]

Damn, that's awful!

What a waste of perfectly good wonton soup...



Hope things work out with you and your woman, WARF, fighting sucks, I know, but the making up afterwards is usually pretty good

[Little Texan]

Kick that bitch to the curb and find another one! Women are NOT worth killing oneself over! There is plenty more poon out there where that one came from! That bitch had the nerve to do that shit to you with, I'm supposing, you paying for the meal. That's when I would've crammed the bill in her face and left, and made her pay for the soup she poured in your face! Besides, aren't you supposed to be a Christian nut or something? What does it say in the Bible about suicide? We like you Warf, we don't want you harming yourself over a stupid girl if you were serious about that.

[WARF]

Dude... I was being sarcastic about the suicide part lol...

Everything is okay... I fucked her and lubed my dick with CRISCO OIL afterwards!!

[VanHalener]

:eek: