Priceless Comment My Best Friend Made About Playing Guitar

[Hardrock69]

My best friend lives in Seattle.

He is highly opinionated, and tells people to their face what he thinks about them.

He also is a life-long abuser of his gear.

If it fucks up, he thinks nothing of beating it.

So we have lengthy conversations by phone every week or so. What are best friends for, right?

So we got off on the subject of his treatment of his guitars and amps over the years, especially when they refuse to obey.

Here is his exact statement.

I laughed so hard when he said it, my sides hurt, and I HAD to write it down:

"If playing guitar is like making love, with me it is more like RAPE, and if my guitar was a woman, it would SLAP ME!"

[cdwillis]

Hahaha. I know what he means. I'm not nice to any of my gear. Guitars are made to to played not displayed.

[Diamondjimi]

I've gotta confess, I have beat the living shit out of gear before.
Nothing worst than a pedal that howls or buzzes for no reason...

[jhale667]

I regularly abuse my gear too. One of the funniest things a bar slut ever said to me was
"The whole time I was watching you play, I was imagining I was your guitar." And I'm like "That's funny, considering I was beating the shit out of it all night..."
And she still went home with me!!

To be fair, I polish them up all pretty again when I'm done, but I am not gentle with my guitars...

[Hardrock69]

Nor am I.

However, if it fails to obey the master, I at least do not throw it across the room.
My friend has done that before.

[cdwillis]

I've thrown my guitar on the floor before in disgust. I guess I'm lucky the headstock didn't snap off.

[EAT MY ASSHOLE]

Jeff Beck was famous for that. I've seen Yardbirds concert footage where he missed a note during the solo, stops everything, goes over to his amp and kicks it. All along, the band and audience look on in complete befuddlement.

[Diamondjimi]

Originally posted by jhale667
I regularly abuse my gear too. One of the funniest things a bar slut ever said to me was
"The whole time I was watching you play, I was imagining I was your guitar."

My girlfriend has said the same thing to me before. She has the passionate eye... and a dirty mind .


She really enjoys my hammer-ons in her "special place"....

[jhale667]

Originally posted by diamondjimi
My girlfriend has said the same thing to me before. She has the passionate eye... and a dirty mind .

Sounds like a keeper.

She really enjoys my hammer-ons in her "special place"....

Yeah, that's when my 10-12 fret reach (from the 12th, of course ) comes in handy...pun intended.



Notice my thumb is longer than my girlfriend's middle finger in that pic...

[Nitro Express]

I tossed a combo out a window and finished it off with a few blasts from a 12 guage shotgun.

[DLRdelight!]

wow thats a little too rough nitro lol

[Hardrock69]

LMFAO!!!

I must assume it deserved to die....

[Nitro Express]

Yeah. I used to live where you could shoot shotgun on your property and nobody cared. I was playing through a little Park combo amp and just decided I hated the piece of shit. It had this real fake distortion to it that wouldn't clean up well. I was a tad drunk and tossed it out the bedroom window. Grabbed a Remingtin Model 11 (Same shotgun Kurt Cobain capped himself with by the way) and let her rip with some BB sized shot.