Quotes Directly From Sammy's Mouth

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

Sammy has been known to have a way with words.
When he opens his mouth.. words tumble out like poopo.. tumbling out of my ass.
The Roth Army Here Has an archive of Rothism's.. why not have an archive of Sammyisms?

Here is by far my favorite Sammy Quote

"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks."

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt."
Sammy HAgar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"Had sex with my daughter's fiancé and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat before it's cooked."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"The seam in my circumcision split open."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline out of me."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me."
Sammy Hagar

[Dickface McSlapnuts]

Goodbye You No Good Bastards,
Breasts,
DickFace McSlapnuts