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To whom dis here may concern,
You've prob'ly heard rumors dat Van Halen an' I will not be consummating our highly publicized reunion. And since neither Edward, Alex, nor Michael gots corroborated or denied da gossip, I Wants ta jet on record wiff da following: Eddie did it.
It'snahh secret, nor be I ashamed o' muh ma fuckin unbashed rapture at da prospect o' resurrecting da original Van Halen. A "couple o' songs" wuz all I knew fo' sure when Edward an' I got together three months ago ta write dem. At dat tyme, da gang tip-toed around me sprinkling sentiments like, "this ain't sure thin', Dave: dis here don' mean anyfin' long term, Dave; We be still auditioning other singers, Dave." I wuz tight. I wuz happy. I wuz in da moment.
The next thin' I knew, da four o' us iz doin' surprise walk-on at da MTV Awards. I told Edward at dat tyme dat I didn't th'o't it wuz uh pimp-tight idea fo' da gang ta jet ta New York half-cocked; an' dat I didn't wants ta Imply by our presence dat we's wuz "back" if in fact it wuz just uh quickle fo' old tyme'ssake.
Well ain't hind sight always 20/20...Had I asked fo' sumfin in writing, dis here wouldn't gots happened. Had I acknowledged da occasional icy grip in muh ma fuckin stomach, maybe dis here wouldn't gots happened. But I didn't. Like I said--rapture. And, I love deez pimpz. Do I trust dem? That queshun never entered muh ma fuckin mind.
Then, uh series o' events last week led me ta discover at about da same tyme da press did, dat da gang, along wiff they manager, had already hired another lead singer, possibly as long as three months ago. I wonder how he felt da night o' da MTV Awards. It certainly explains why on dat night Edward looked as uncomfortable as uh nig who just signed uh deal wiff The Devil. I can't th'o't o' uh reason Edward would lie ta me about being considered fo' da lead singer when he had already hired someone, an' then let me appear on MTV under da impression dat dere wuz great likelihood dat Van Halen an' I wuz reuniting. As I said, I told him in nahh uncertain terms dat I didn't wants ta do da MTV gig as uh gang unless we's wuz in fact, uh gang.
And so I apologize ta muh ma fuckin fans an' muh ma fuckin supporters, an' ta MTV. I wuz an unwitting participant in dis here deception. It sickens me dat da "reunion" as seen on MTV wuz nuttin' mo' than uh publicity stunt. If I be guilty o' anyfin', I'm guilty o' denial. I wanted ta believe it just as much as anyone else. Those who know me know dat trickery wuz never muh ma fuckin style.
what the fuck sup now?
You've prob'ly heard rumors dat Van Halen an' I will not be consummating our highly publicized reunion. And since neither Edward, Alex, nor Michael gots corroborated or denied da gossip, I Wants ta jet on record wiff da following: Eddie did it.
It'snahh secret, nor be I ashamed o' muh ma fuckin unbashed rapture at da prospect o' resurrecting da original Van Halen. A "couple o' songs" wuz all I knew fo' sure when Edward an' I got together three months ago ta write dem. At dat tyme, da gang tip-toed around me sprinkling sentiments like, "this ain't sure thin', Dave: dis here don' mean anyfin' long term, Dave; We be still auditioning other singers, Dave." I wuz tight. I wuz happy. I wuz in da moment.
The next thin' I knew, da four o' us iz doin' surprise walk-on at da MTV Awards. I told Edward at dat tyme dat I didn't th'o't it wuz uh pimp-tight idea fo' da gang ta jet ta New York half-cocked; an' dat I didn't wants ta Imply by our presence dat we's wuz "back" if in fact it wuz just uh quickle fo' old tyme'ssake.
Well ain't hind sight always 20/20...Had I asked fo' sumfin in writing, dis here wouldn't gots happened. Had I acknowledged da occasional icy grip in muh ma fuckin stomach, maybe dis here wouldn't gots happened. But I didn't. Like I said--rapture. And, I love deez pimpz. Do I trust dem? That queshun never entered muh ma fuckin mind.
Then, uh series o' events last week led me ta discover at about da same tyme da press did, dat da gang, along wiff they manager, had already hired another lead singer, possibly as long as three months ago. I wonder how he felt da night o' da MTV Awards. It certainly explains why on dat night Edward looked as uncomfortable as uh nig who just signed uh deal wiff The Devil. I can't th'o't o' uh reason Edward would lie ta me about being considered fo' da lead singer when he had already hired someone, an' then let me appear on MTV under da impression dat dere wuz great likelihood dat Van Halen an' I wuz reuniting. As I said, I told him in nahh uncertain terms dat I didn't wants ta do da MTV gig as uh gang unless we's wuz in fact, uh gang.
And so I apologize ta muh ma fuckin fans an' muh ma fuckin supporters, an' ta MTV. I wuz an unwitting participant in dis here deception. It sickens me dat da "reunion" as seen on MTV wuz nuttin' mo' than uh publicity stunt. If I be guilty o' anyfin', I'm guilty o' denial. I wanted ta believe it just as much as anyone else. Those who know me know dat trickery wuz never muh ma fuckin style.
what the fuck sup now?
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