Hello sons and daughters of Creation!

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  • Sucker of Satan's Penis

    Hello sons and daughters of Creation!

    Hello Roth Army -

    It is I, Allah. And to me you may say "aleikum" which means "fuckin' aye hello" in the language of those who invented me - Arabic!

    I am aware this board is about David Lee Roth, one of many People of the Book which my followers have chased out of the Fertile Crescent for two thousand years, same as many of you with similar heritage.

    However, I have chosen this site as the new mouthpiece for what kinda closure we can get done in whatever amount of time we have left - before I destroy the planet in 2012 by crashing Planet Nibiru thru it.. you know, I gotta do what I gotta do but I don't want you guys going out of existence without us patching things up a bit.

    True, many of you European Peoples had your wells poisoned by my True Believers, and you still did not convert to honoring me. We burned your fields and still you did not honor me. Wrecked your pens, stole livestock, torched your towns and all you guys could do was move further and further north.

    Good for you. Now that all I got left here in the Middle East is a buncha fuckin' chicken-stealing, psychopathic pyromaniacs I'm kinda in the market for new recruits who are a tad more interesting. So I hope we can patch things up and bring you folks back to the Crossroads of Civilization and build it up a bit.

    Not like how I unbuilt New York, but how you guys did like that, we need to get stuff going on over ----> here.

    So to begin, I'm saying "sorry for all the jihad schtick, didn't mean it, just kidding about poisoning all the wells from Ankara to Bulgaria up thru the Caucasus Steppes chasin' you fuckers it was just a gag" and stuff. We're cool so come on back - but without that stealth bomber shit...

    Oh and my favorite Son of David Roth cut is "Dead or Alive" from Van Halen 2.

    I be poppin in and outta this here beiouyatch onced in awhile, so this just a brief hello for now. Why not tell me about yourself? Not that I care, unless you're an infidel.. okay LOL just kiddin, more schtick okay dont get bent..
  • Sarge's Little Helper
    Commando
    • Mar 2003
    • 1267

    #2
    Hi Allah! It is my pleasure to be the first JACKASS to welcome you to The Diamond David Lee Roth Army! IN ROTH WE TRUST.
    "I decided to name my new band DLR because when you say David Lee Roth people think of an individual, but when you say DLR you think of a band. Its just like when you say Edward Van Halen, people think of an individual, but when you say Van Halen, you think of…David Lee Roth, baby!"!

    Comment

    • Sucker of Satan's Penis

      #3
      You did not have permission to address Allah.

      Allah leaves you one Groan for being an unclean DIQHEAD

      Comment

      • twonabomber
        formerly F A T
        ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

        • Jan 2004
        • 11201

        #4
        i would be very surprised if this wasn't who i think it is.
        Writing In All Proper Case Takes Extra Time, Is Confusing To Read, And Is Completely Pointless.

        Comment

        • Dolemite!
          Banned
          • Jun 2009
          • 689

          #5
          Certainly more entertaining than the Christ/Satan schtick. Word nigga.


          I thought you were Elvis but it's clear now that you're not.

          Comment

          • FORD
            ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

            • Jan 2004
            • 58755

            #6
            Originally posted by Dolemite!
            Certainly more entertaining than the Christ/Satan schtick. Word nigga.


            I thought you were Elvis but it's clear now that you're not.
            So when are you gonna pull out a "Shiva" alias, pedobear?

            You could molest two boys at the same time and still have arms to type with.
            Eat Us And Smile

            Cenk For America 2024!!

            Justice Democrats


            "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

            Comment

            • Dolemite!
              Banned
              • Jun 2009
              • 689

              #7
              The religious alts is your thing as is a tendency to watch the first two Home Alone movies on repeat.

              Comment

              • Anonymous
                Banned
                • May 2004
                • 12707

                #8
                Oh, not another one. Jaysus.

                Listen, or read, whatever: whenever the thought crosses your mind that it will be incredibly funny to create an alias, and you start giggling to yourself about the brilliant idea you just had, TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND GO TO SLEEP!

                It's not funny. Never was.

                Gawd.

                Retards.

                Cheers! :bottle:

                Comment

                • Nickdfresh
                  SUPER MODERATOR

                  • Oct 2004
                  • 49125

                  #9
                  Why would Allah use an avatar of Mohammad with a bomb on his turban? Mohammad is not Allah, and his lifespan predated gunpowder, white trash ignorant asshole...

                  Try to actually read a book while in the library instead of cock-blocking kids from the internet terminals, GAR...

                  Comment

                  • GAR
                    Banned
                    • Jan 2004
                    • 10849

                    #10
                    Hey, don't blame me if we have a guest or two over..

                    Comment

                    • Steve Savicki
                      Full Member Status

                      • Jan 2004
                      • 3934

                      #11
                      Death is life: LauraBraniganOnline.com - The Official Laura Branigan Website - Spirit Of Love
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • binnie
                        DIAMOND STATUS
                        • May 2006
                        • 19144

                        #12
                        STFU Steve.
                        The Power Of The Riff Compels Me

                        Comment

                        • Igosplut
                          ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                          • Jan 2004
                          • 2793

                          #13
                          So lemme guess. You dress up in drag as this broad and go to these gatherings?
                          Chainsaw Muthuafucka

                          Comment

                          • LoungeMachine
                            DIAMOND STATUS
                            • Jul 2004
                            • 32555

                            #14
                            RothChats down?

                            Or did the other 2 people fall asleep on you again?
                            Originally posted by Kristy
                            Dude, what in the fuck is wrong with you? I'm full of hate and I do drugs.
                            Originally posted by cadaverdog
                            I posted under aliases and I jerk off with a sock. Anything else to add?

                            Comment

                            • Anonymous
                              Banned
                              • May 2004
                              • 12707

                              #15
                              Is it? I guess we could kill you, just to find out. And then we'd donate your blood, and everybody'd be happy.

                              Cheers! :bottle:

                              Comment

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