Van Halen, Sammy vs. Dave and my dog.

[Sensible Shoes]

Some of you have heard this, but it was buried in my welcome thread, and I think it's worthy of a thread of it's own. I do realize it will have to be removed to the non related topic forum soon, but that's OK

I have a story for you - it's about Van Halen and my Dog. Emily is a show dog, Irish Setter, #8 sporting dog in the country.

My handler, Adam, is a bit of a rock and roll guy, although he's only 26.
Hot, good looking and all the gay dog handlers are drooling over him, alas,
he's very straight and has a very hot little wife. So in spite of the
constant suit and tie in the ring, he's tattooed all over the place. I did
not know this.

This June, we were in Lancaster PA at the Irish Setter National. There's a
golf outing on the first day and he's going. He has shorts on - and I
notice a tattoo on his ankle. First time I knew he had tattoos. I express
surprise, then threaten to tell my co-owner who is a really repressed sort.
We're laughing about this, and I look closer and step back a bit -

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

I'm looking at a tattoo of the fucking Cabo Wabo Chicken.

"What?" he says. kind of freaked out at my extreme reaction. "It's from our
vacation in Cabo - my brother and I got them - we were at this bar....."

Now I'm freaking out. I'm doing it to mess with him, but I'm partially
serious. Holy Shit. This is extremely bad karma for this whole thing and a
lot is at stake here. I think I mentioned that I had been planning a Van
Halen litter - and that any association with Sammy Hagar is death. Dave or
the Grave.

He cannot FATHOM what I am talking about. He likes Van Halen, but doesn't
distinguish between Dave and Sammy. I catch my breath from yelling at him
and telling him how serious this is. It seems to be innocent. So I drop it
for the time being.

Later in the room, I'm unpacking and discover I have the purse I had at all
the reunion concerts. It's filled with the confetti from Cleveland, Toronto
and Montreal. Some of it came from between my tits and everything. So I
struck up a plan. Adam had to have the VH confetti on his person to
counteract the bad Sammy Mojo.

The night before Best of Breed, I went to his wife and said "Jamie, don't
ask questions. Adam HAS TO put this confetti in his shirt pocket tomorrow.
Don't ask why - he will know. Just make him do it." I figured he'd blow it
off, but if anybody could do it, his hot little wife could.

Now we were brand new in this level of competition. We were doing really
well on the show circuit, but there were other dogs who were the favorites
to win this big, BIG competition. We expected at best to get an award of
Merit. That's what the confetti plan was meant to secure. But, out of the
blue, Adam and Emily went on to win the whole damned thing. Best of Breed,
one of my life's biggest dreams. I almost fell out of the fucking balcony,
we made tons of enemies - oh it was a beautiful moment.

We are down taking pictures, he's beaming, I'm crying and everybody's
fussing over the dog - and he pulls out the confetti from his shirt pocket.
He says "hold on to this until the next time we need it." Big grin.

We had the confetti in Long Beach - and we'll have it at Westminster. He's
a good kid, and he gets bootlegs. Dolemite Motherfuckers.

[twonabomber]

my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits
my tits

this thread is worthless without pictures.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r169/mdallas07/bigflip.gif http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r169/mdallas07/bigflip.gif

[ThrillsNSpills]

it's like the brown m&m's.



to see if you're paying attention.

[kwame k]

What was the rest of the story about? She lost me after tits;)

[Sensible Shoes]

Men. Dammit.

[twonabomber]

the pics aren't for me, i'm fortunate enough to have been in the same room as those beauties. more than once, even!

[kwame k]

the pics aren't for me, i'm fortunate enough to have been in the same room as those beauties. more than once, even!

...and we're supposed to take your word for this? Damn it man, why the fuck didn't you take any pictures;)

How do I know if you have excellent taste in boobage or are the equivalent of a beer snob that drinks Miller Lite. :pullinghair:

[twonabomber]

Miller Lite

pay no attention to the pile of empty cans on my desk...

[Anonymous]

Wow Shoes, you're a nutcase.

A funny nutcase, that is.

Now, what was that you were saying about tits?...

Cheers! :bottle:

[Hardrock69]

Dolemite Motherfuckers.

YOU are a girl after my own heart.
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[JOEThasreturnen]

Immediate candidate for gayest thread in the history of this site.

[Diamondjimi]

What was the rest of the story about? She lost me after tits;)

Same here. Something about a dog show 'n tits, or something...:biggrin:

[GAR]

I caught that in the original thread, and that Cabo chicken tatoo does initiate bad karma.. you were correct to remediate the bad vibes such as you did.

He must never bare that tatoo pre- or post-show ever again!

[ZahZoo]

...and we're supposed to take your word for this? Damn it man, why the fuck didn't you take any pictures;)

How do I know if you have excellent taste in boobage or are the equivalent of a beer snob that drinks Miller Lite. :pullinghair:

Y'all are so darn lazy...

View the profile of SensibleShoes (http://web.archive.org/web/20080525225335/www.diamonddavidleeroth.com/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=189)

[Sensible Shoes]

JOEThasreturnen - Immediate candidate for gayest man in the history of this site.

[Igosplut]

WOW, didn't this thread stray afar.....

[GAR]

Igo, this is about showing dogs. Not tits.

You must apologize to Shoes now.

[Sensible Shoes]

Nobody has to apologize for straying on a thread in which I pulled the pin on the grenade.

[JOEThasreturnen]

now that is gay! Immediate candidate for biggest geek in the history of this site. Please.

[LEFTY is Gar's Bitch]

you better not be talking about my gary or i'll break my foot off in yer ass.

[hambon4lif]

....I see the females here are getting better looking.:biggrin:

Damn gar....where have you been hiding this hot piece?

[LEFTY is Gar's Bitch]

thanks hun.
love your beerd.hubby hasnt seen a razer in months.feels great on my thighs.

[hambon4lif]

Immediate candidate for gayest thread in the history of this site.Pipe down, slim!
I've read some of your bullshit threads....25 fucking seconds I'll never get back. DJ Gravy pimpin some washed-up loser boxer and smoked-out hip hop wannabeez is so much more interesting and less gay, yo'am say'n?

Word!

[JOEThasreturnen]

your the exact kind of hick i love kicking the shit out of at a bar. As far as washed up boxer, how many heavyweight belts have you ever won? Thats what i thought. HEAVYWEIGHT FEDENCENTRO CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!

[Diamondjimi]

Joe, you look like you ain't got the wind to wipe your own ass...

[ThrillsNSpills]

For people that don't have 3 months to read that longass post.

I think it went like this.

shoes put confetti in a dog trainers pocket and the dog won all of the competitions. The confetti had mojo because it lived in cleavage. :D

the end.


as far a gayest thread is concerned I'd hate to be the judge of that contest due to the shear volume of entries. Christ.

[Diamondjimi]

You forgot to mention it was VH confetti. And said confetti was stuck to said poster's TIT's!:bigboobs:

:hitch:

[Sensible Shoes]

VH confetti to counteract the Cabo Wabo Chicken. Thrills and Spills doesn't appreciate my literary genius.

[twonabomber]

As far as washed up boxer, how many heavyweight belts have you ever won? Thats what i thought.


probably about as many belts as you have won.

why you continue to cling to Minto's ballsack when it's been proven time and time again that you have nothing to do with the guy or his organization is beyond me.

[hambon4lif]

your the exact kind of hick i love kicking the shit out of at a bar.Who the fuck are you kidding, Joe? It would take you 2 months just to raise one of your cankled legs to kick anything, let alone someones ass.

fuck off, scale-buster!:biggrin:

[ThrillsNSpills]

VH confetti to counteract the Cabo Wabo Chicken. Thrills and Spills doesn't appreciate my literary genius.


maybe not, but i'm intrigued by how your orbs supercharge confetti.

[Sensible Shoes]

maybe not, but i'm intrigued by how your orbs supercharge confetti.

My "orbs" had nothing to do with it. Just it was VH confetti - I found it funny that I took a bunch of it out of my cleavage each concert. That had nothing to do with counteracting the fucking Cabo Wabo tattoo.

[JOEThasreturnen]

shoes, please quit postin so often, its all stupid queer crap too. Thats the reason I left this site the first time. Too many nerds.

[Dan]

Shoes Would Kick Your 400 Pound Ass.:D

[hambon4lif]

Thats the reason I left this site the first time.I always thought it was because there was a weight limit, lardass!

[Diamondjimi]

Joe, why aren't you speaking in Ebonics when you post here?

Maybe you can refer some Ho's to this site from your stable of Bitches...

[GAR]

My "orbs" had nothing to do with it.

Maybe they transmitted magic to the titti-confetti..

[GAR]

shoes, please quit postin so often, its all stupid queer crap too. Thats the reason I left this site the first time. Too many nerds.

Do NOT underestimate the power, the allure, and the mysticism of the Titti-Confetti.

In its' unedited form, it may even cure cancer.

[Sensible Shoes]

shoes, please quit postin so often, its all stupid queer crap too. Thats the reason I left this site the first time. Too many nerds.

Joe please quit posting at all, because YOU are super queer.

[Sensible Shoes]

Look what happened to chainz a short time after. May he rest in Peace.

You beyond queer for this, you are a FUCKING JACKASS. If you want to take credit for killing Al, I'm sure somebody would be glad to press homicide charges. That's over the line.

[Hardrock69]

Joseph P. Thudner, kiddie-diddler Il Supremo.

Go fuck yourself in the ass with a rusty chainsaw Joey-bitch.

You are a lower form of life than the slime that grows on rocks under which diseased whores (like your mother) are buried.

[diamondsgirl]

The night before Best of Breed, I went to his wife and said "Jamie, don't
ask questions. Adam HAS TO put this confetti in his shirt pocket tomorrow.
Don't ask why - he will know. Just make him do it." I figured he'd blow it
off, but if anybody could do it, his hot little wife could.


Hmmmm...he has a hot little wife named Jamie. That is cool, too.

It's not an overly common name.

:hitch:

[Mr Walker]

I was going to suggest that you should have taken a cheese-grater to that guy's tattoo, but now I think the better option would be to take a cheese-grater to joe thunder's stupid face.

[twonabomber]

Christmas is definitely over when Walker proposes violence.

[Nickdfresh]

your the exact kind of hick i love kicking the shit out of at a bar. As far as washed up boxer, how many heavyweight belts have you ever won? Thats what i thought. HEAVYWEIGHT FEDENCENTRO CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!

Can you hear the footsteps, Joe?

[Sensible Shoes]

I was going to suggest that you should have taken a cheese-grater to that guy's tattoo, but now I think the better option would be to take a cheese-grater to joe thunder's stupid face.

:D Glad to hear from you!

[Panamark]

My doggie is being shown as I post this...
(Im not out there with those crazy dog dudes
while Im jetlagged)

His favorite album is Fair Warning !!

[ZahZoo]

Geez Mark... keep it in your damn pants!! ;)