Airline Fun - Not

[Panamark]

G'day Rotharians !!

Im back in Oz, Lordy Lordy praise you Lordy !!!

Did you all read about that Qantas plane that was fucked up at LA
about 2-3 days ago ?? (Jetlag is fucking with accurate timing here)

Yep.... We were on it....

Myself, My wife and Baby.....

Media reported we were trapped on there for 3 hours...
7 hours by my watch and they couldnt serve a drink
in that time due to some fucked up TGA law ???

In that 7 hours they tried to make this A380 take off
4 times, each time the pilot pulled out just before take off...
He was telling the entire plane that there was error messages
on the console...

Im like, get me the fuck off this thing !!!!

Around 4am LA time we were taken off the fucker
and shipped off to some shit hotel (Courtyard Marriot)
with no luggage, clothes or formula for Pana Jnr...

To the credit of Qantas, they did actually chaperone
my wife (after me threatening to rip 10,000 new assholes)
in a taxi to get the baby food.....

I spoke to the pilot who was in the lobby of the airport
where we boarded the bus (pilot was an aussie) and he
proceeds to tell me that every time the engineers replaced
a "module" he had a new error message appear...

Soooooooooooooo as a nervous flyer, it was not comforting
getting back on the same plane, in the same clothes 24 hours
later....

We all embraced as this freakin huge airbus took off from
LA just in case it was gonna crash...

Then Smooth sailing... 15 hour panic attack later Im back......

Im not flying again for 2 years, I swear, if its not boeing
Im not going !!

You can shove your american airlines S80's up your ass too
I was in "business class" and my head was touching the roof...
no audio, nothing....

So I just asked for copious amounts of Vodka....

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone here ! :)

Fuck planes.

[Panamark]

On the positive, (down south)

I did get to checkout Memphis this trip
Stayed at the Peabody, saw the Ducks. lol
Beale St, Sun Records and Gracelands...

That was all very cool...

Elvis's house is very funky ....
Looked like he had a lot of fun before he hit 40

[VAiN]

Oh man, sorry to hear that... must have been scary as hell! Glad you made it back!

I've been over to Graceland as well, awesome place! Did you tour the Lisa Marie as well?

[VanHalener]

You know that really blows Pana, but that shite could have been wayyyyyyy worse. Like you could have crashed and been killed, taking some wildlife with you and your family.
http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo132/Diskopickle/giraffevsplane.jpg
They made the right choice no matter how much it sucked like Sam Roy Hagar sucks. At least it didn't suck AS bad as Sam Roy Hagar that fat, cheese spreading, clown like buffoon. Glad you cats are safe and not 6 feet under ground.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g49/Soldier1990/DSC04334.jpg

Speaking of airplanes...

Why hasn't Gheygar been in a plane that went down? GOOD rockers have bought the farm in a plane, so why can't a ball sack like Bette be on a plane when it's wing snaps off or some shit. I can see it now...Spam is in his seat looking out the window when he sees a wing snap off and tear into the cabin right in front of him. WHOOSH Spam gets sucked out seat and all. After he pisses and shites himself during the long fall to earth maybe then he will realize that sucking was no way to go through life.
(too late sheep banger)
Then Spam hits the ground... THUD, bounce, thump. Cheese and blood go everywhere and the world is a better place.

[Susie Q]

Fucksakes Mark! There was something I heard on the news about people being stuck on a airplane for stupid amounts of hours that now the airline will be fined or something to that effect. With me being claustrophobic, I would not do good in that environment. If I go anywhere, I'll drive....fuck the airplane noise.

I went from NY to CA back in 1993 for ten days, first time and last time on a plane. The seats were so close that this guy put his seat back and his head was in my lap. I could have offered him a massage at this rate. I asked my friend if I could have the window seat because it was getting too close in the plane for me. I just keep looking out the window or closed my eyes for the adventure.

I bet even Pana Jr. is thrilled at this point that you are home! Glad you fooks made it back ok. :)

[Seshmeister]

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[Igosplut]

So I just asked for copious amounts of Vodka....



Are you related to Sesh??





'


Glad to here there were no ill effects....

[Dan]

Glad You Made It Back Home,Mark With Family.

BTW.....Next Time Fly Air New Zealand,They Have More Leg Room.:D

Happy Holidays.

[Panamark]

G'day Folks,

Heres a total misreported link to the situation, strangely enough the same thing
was happening at the same time in Melbourne Australia with another super air bus...
(A380)

For the record we were on this thing for 7+ hours, were not allowed food or drinks
the whole time, and they attempted to take off 4 times, each time bailing at the
last minute as yet another error message would occur. The Pilot was telling us
everything. Stange how watered down the media reports are. I must say I was
shitting myself getting back on this same plane 24 hours later knowing the
history of the Airbus's over the last 12 months or so. (They have well documented
electronic failure where the plane gets possessed and the pilots have no control)
For anyone travelling, make sure you get on a Boeing. The pilot at least has direct
hydraulic control in the event of computer failure. These fucking big titanics do
not have this option, if the computer modules fuckup, basically you are fucked...

I reckon Airbus are covering up a crapload of info from the public at the moment.



Another long tarmac wait for Qantas A380 passengers (http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/another-long-tarmac-wait-for-qantas-a380-passengers-20100106-ltbw.html)

Another long tarmac wait for Qantas A380 passengersANDREW HEASLEY
January 6, 2010
The 2010 annus horribilis continues for Qantas, with passengers stuck on the tarmac in another Airbus 380 for hours on end, this time in Los Angeles.

It has emerged that 398 passengers were stuck for three-and-a-half hours on the tarmac on board the flagship superjumbo in Los Angeles on Sunday, US time, while engineers tried to rectify technical faults.

Eventually passengers on QF12 were off-loaded after the crew had exceeded their allowable on-duty hours. The Sydney-bound flight was rescheduled for the next day and arrived this morning.

A Qantas spokesman said the plane had a brake indication fault that occurred twice, the second time after an attempted repair.


It is the second time this week Qantas passengers have been stuck on board an A380 for hours.


The incident mirrors Monday's hold-up at Melbourne Airport, where almost 450 passengers were stuck on board an A380 for more than five hours while engineers tried to fix a technical fault.

The repairs dragged on and eventually passengers were let off the plane after the flight was postponed to the next day.

Qantas blamed the strict new security screening regime required for US flights to America for the decision to keep passengers on board for so long.

Bizarrely, the two incidents were happening almost simultaneously, with the delay hitting the LA flight as passengers prepared to disembark the faulty A380 in Melbourne.


Since the New Year, Qantas has suffered outages of its check-in system, baggage system and aircraft malfunctions that have caused lengthy delays to the travel plans thousands of passengers in Australia and internationally

[Panamark]

Glad You Made It Back Home,Mark With Family.

BTW.....Next Time Fly Air New Zealand,They Have More Leg Room.:D

Happy Holidays.
Happy New Year Dan The Man !

Actually we scored an upgrade with all our frequent flyer points
and were in the business section with our own sky beds and
a bassinet for Matty. Have to argue with you about leg room,
with my bed fully horizontal, I still had two feet in front of me
to the bulkhead.

And hey, Sesh is right Qantas have never lost a plane.
Air New Zealand has :tongue0011:

Cheers mate !

[Panamark]

Are you related to Sesh??





'


Glad to here there were no ill effects....

Not that Im aware of, but I get the feeling we share a similar
type of existance... lol....

[Panamark]

Fucksakes Mark! There was something I heard on the news about people being stuck on a airplane for stupid amounts of hours that now the airline will be fined or something to that effect. With me being claustrophobic, I would not do good in that environment. If I go anywhere, I'll drive....fuck the airplane noise.

I went from NY to CA back in 1993 for ten days, first time and last time on a plane. The seats were so close that this guy put his seat back and his head was in my lap. I could have offered him a massage at this rate. I asked my friend if I could have the window seat because it was getting too close in the plane for me. I just keep looking out the window or closed my eyes for the adventure.

I bet even Pana Jr. is thrilled at this point that you are home! Glad you fooks made it back ok. :)


Heya Susie !!! :)

Flying sucks. I cant stand it. If I could drive to the US, I would.
Baby Matty was actually unbelieavably good on the plane, slept
most of the way. He is fussing now that we are back home as
he seems to have picked up a cold. Otherwise he is just fine.
Hope you, your familiy and little K had a great Christmas !

[Dan]

Happy New Year Dan The Man !

Actually we scored an upgrade with all our frequent flyer points
and were in the business section with our own sky beds and
a bassinet for Matty. Have to argue with you about leg room,
with my bed fully horizontal, I still had two feet in front of me
to the bulkhead.

And hey, Sesh is right Qantas have never lost a plane.
Air New Zealand has :tongue0011:

Cheers mate !

Mark,I Flew Qantas My First Time To The States And Fuck,My Legs Were Almost Touching My Neck.:D

Then I Get Into LA To Fly Home With Qantas,Then They Tell Me The Fucking Plane Is Still In New Zealand.:rolleyes.

Thanks To Air New Zealand,They Got Me Back Home.

Enjoy The Rest Of Your Hot,Summer,Mate.:D

[Panamark]

You know that really blows Pana, but that shite could have been wayyyyyyy worse. Like you could have crashed and been killed, taking some wildlife with you and your family.
http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo132/Diskopickle/giraffevsplane.jpg
They made the right choice no matter how much it sucked like Sam Roy Hagar sucks. At least it didn't suck AS bad as Sam Roy Hagar that fat, cheese spreading, clown like buffoon. Glad you cats are safe and not 6 feet under ground.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g49/Soldier1990/DSC04334.jpg

Speaking of airplanes...

Why hasn't Gheygar been in a plane that went down? GOOD rockers have bought the farm in a plane, so why can't a ball sack like Bette be on a plane when it's wing snaps off or some shit. I can see it now...Spam is in his seat looking out the window when he sees a wing snap off and tear into the cabin right in front of him. WHOOSH Spam gets sucked out seat and all. After he pisses and shites himself during the long fall to earth maybe then he will realize that sucking was no way to go through life.
(too late sheep banger)
Then Spam hits the ground... THUD, bounce, thump. Cheese and blood go everywhere and the world is a better place.

Happy New Year Van Halener !!!
Im fucking glad I didnt look at your images prior to getting back on that
sucker....:biggrin:

As for Hagar, as they say only the good die young ??
Im amazed any plane on earth can get off the ground with his
fat ass in it !!

[Panamark]

Oh man, sorry to hear that... must have been scary as hell! Glad you made it back!

I've been over to Graceland as well, awesome place! Did you tour the Lisa Marie as well?

We had Baby Matt with us and Graceland was the last place we visited
before heading back to Mississippi... So we didnt have time to do the
Lisa Marie thing. Although I did sneak in and had an outside look at the
planes and cars. Its a great place to tour, Sun records really blew
my mind when I knew I was standing in that little old studio where
Rock and Roll basically was born. It was a holy experience for me.
Fucking loved it !!!

[Blackflag]

Moral: Airbus sucks.

[Panamark]

Mark,I Flew Qantas My First Time To The States And Fuck,My Legs Were Almost Touching My Neck.:D

Then I Get Into LA To Fly Home With Qantas,Then They Tell Me The Fucking Plane Is Still In New Zealand.:rolleyes.

Thanks To Air New Zealand,They Got Me Back Home.

Enjoy The Rest Of Your Hot,Summer,Mate.:D

Its nice to go from minus zero degrees back up to the 100
(or 30+ celcius in our language)

I have to say, if they do eventually sort out the dramas with
Airbuses, its an awesome plane. Like two 747's stacked.
Feels more like you are in a car than on a 747,
(As in the cruising feel, very smooth)
Self Service Bars, conference rooms, Skybeds, awesome
in flight entertainment setup, its a freakin huge cabin size
too... And you can actually walk past the crew when they
wheel those carts.

But fuck mate... Im not confident in all the electronic failures.
The Air France one a few months back totally freaked out
and we have had at least 3 near crashes on Airbuses in Oz
that I know about where the electronics went crazy.
Luckily for us, they came good before crashing, but it seems
that its just a matter of time before another major tradegy
happens on these things with their system setup. Im convinced
if we took off that first night some shit would have gone down...

[Panamark]

Moral: Airbus sucks.

Totally, it could be good, but they need to install backup manual
hydraulics and improve the electronic control systems.
How many more people have to die ?

[Seshmeister]

I've been through the same thing to a degree but not quite as bad because we had no kids at the time although we were in scum class.

There is nothing worse than being stuck on a plane for hours while they see if they can make it work. We had it on a flight to Washington a few weeks after 9-11 after a failed takeoff. It was a misery.

Less now but I peaked at about 60 flights a year a couple of years back and basically all I can say is that you did the right thing but got unlucky.

As far as the Airbus thing goes I don't think the stats back that up at the moment. There are a few planes that should be avoided but they are smaller ones. There is absolutely no logic in a fear of flying. It's understandable but it's not sane when you think about the chance of say a drunk driver suddenly crashing into you while driving. The fear of flying is incredibly irrational. I've had it myself occasionally but it is still completely irrational.

[Panamark]

I've been through the same thing to a degree but not quite as bad because we had no kids at the time although we were in scum class.

There is nothing worse than being stuck on a plane for hours while they see if they can make it work. We had it on a flight to Washington a few weeks after 9-11 after a failed takeoff. It was a misery.

Less now but I peaked at about 60 flights a year a couple of years back and basically all I can say is that you did the right thing but got unlucky.

As far as the Airbus thing goes I don't think the stats back that up at the moment. There are a few planes that should be avoided but they are smaller ones. There is absolutely no logic in a fear of flying. It's understandable but it's not sane when you think about the chance of say a drunk driver suddenly crashing into you while driving. The fear of flying is incredibly irrational. I've had it myself occasionally but it is still completely irrational.

Do you believe in fear of heights and claustrophobia ?
These are real to me, and if you dont like that shit, a plane
is not a relaxing experience ;)

[Dan]

Do you believe in fear of heights and claustrophobia ?
These are real to me, and if you dont like that shit, a plane
is not a relaxing experience ;)

That's Why You Get Loaded Up On Beer,Wine And Something To Fuck You Up.

That's The Aussie Way.:hitch::biggrin:

[Panamark]

That's Why You Get Loaded Up On Beer,Wine And Something To Fuck You Up.

That's The Aussie Way.:hitch::biggrin:

Thats exactly what I do..
Strogest white spirit they have on board (double shots)
with either orange or cranberry juice washed down with
half a dozen sleeping pills.

For some bizzarre reason I would sleep for 3 days if
I was at home, yet Im lucky if the above apporach
gets me 2 hours of sleep on that 15 hour flight between
Syd-LA.... That still leaves 13 hours, yes I continue to drink
watch a movie or two, but then there is still like 8 hours
to go.. I end up walking around the plane as I end up feeling
like a caged tiger...

I must say the A380 was good for this, lots of space and sneaky
little rooms etc..

V-Australia's A380 looks awesome, they have a circular
bar, with barman and plasma screens with sports
going down.. I reckon that sounds like the way to go !

[Dan]

I Love To Fly,Like Many Kiwi's Do.:D

I Alway Get A Seat Near The Toilets And Get A Seat Near The Emergency Exits In The Middle Of The Plane.More Leg Room Too.

I Do Freak Alittle About Take-Offs And Landing But I Think Most Peeps Do.

When It Comes To Drinking,Flying From Akl-LA I Drink Two Double Jim Beams And Coke.That Take Cares Of Everything.I dont Watch Any Movies At All.I Do Sleep Like A Baby and I'm Sure Keep the Other Peeps Next to Me Up With My Snoring.:D

Jet-Lap is Another Thing,I Dont Get It Going To The States But Coming Home I Do.The Other Thing Is,It Takes 2 Days To Go Home.

[Panamark]

I get jet lag both ways, coming home the first 2 days back are like Im on
Speed, then the 4th and fifth days are when it really hits me.
Then Im fine... But I allow 5 days to get over it.

[Panamark]

And I have done the Syd-LA hop sober once before (hell knows why)
the Jet lag still gets you...

[Dan]

I Also Try To Have A Dump Before A Long Flight.:D

[Panamark]

I try to also..

I cant shit on a plane.
Dunno why, if its those paper seat protectors or what,

plane = constipation

Hey Dan they tell me when you start openly discussing your
bowel movements you are officially an old bastard ! lol....

[Dan]

How Rude.:D

Getting Old Maybe.It Seems Now Where Flying Into And Around The States They Willn't Let You Get Up For A Piss During The Last Hour Of The Flight?

Might Need To Wear A Nappy For That.:D

X-Ray Machine,John Have A Look At This Guy,He's Wearing A Nappy And It's Full.:D

[PETE'S BROTHER]

ya gotta change this thread to "old turds on a plane" now;)

[Panamark]

How Rude.:D

Getting Old Maybe.It Seems Now Where Flying Into And Around The States They Willn't Let You Get Up For A Piss During The Last Hour Of The Flight?

Might Need To Wear A Nappy For That.:D

X-Ray Machine,John Have A Look At This Guy,He's Wearing A Nappy And It's Full.:D


Ironically the same rules dony apply to flights going from the US
to other countries. So its like America is saying, we gotta have all
these strict rules for planes coming to our country, but the planes
leaving America, who fucking cares ???:biggrin:

[Panamark]

ya gotta change this thread to "old turds on a plane" now;)

Or Picasso's Air Toilet Fart Spray Art !!

I Can get the ignition happpening, just cant follow through !

[Panamark]

Hey what do you dudes all think about those fookin see through machines
that show your nads and peeper ??? Would hate to be flying out
of an icelandic airport with the shy retreating turtle happening
while some eskimo security dudes snort their coffee and donuts out
their noses and take happy snaps with their cell phones !!! lol....

[Panamark]

How Rude.:D

Getting Old Maybe.It Seems Now Where Flying Into And Around The States They Willn't Let You Get Up For A Piss During The Last Hour Of The Flight?

Might Need To Wear A Nappy For That.:D

X-Ray Machine,John Have A Look At This Guy,He's Wearing A Nappy And It's Full.:D

Sorry Dan, just saw this.. Great minds...

[Ally_Kat]

The fear of flying is incredibly irrational. I've had it myself occasionally but it is still completely irrational.

For me, I get nervous at take off. There's something about getting off the ground that freaks me out. Once we've reached altitude and I've calmed down, it's cool as hell to be above everything.

[Ally_Kat]

Mark, you can probably make a claim with the airliner, especially since you had the little one. Being on the runway for THAT long with all the failures could be linked back to the mechanics.

[Panamark]

Oh, Im gonna squeal like a stuffed pig :)
I was actually on a business package with Qantas from
Syd - Dallas (via LA) and paid the extra thinking it would
quell the usual panic.

Once they transferred me onto American Airlines, my ticket
said "First Class" and Im put on this plane older than me, my
head was touching the roof (literally) and I had a large black
guy next to me that was overflowing onto me. THere was
no entertainment, not even basic headphones and some form
of audio ??
Thankgod they had vodka.

But the "First Class" seats were no different to all the people seated behind
me. So I want my money back at least for that ? It was economy class.
We have a shitload of recepts that Qantas will reimburse (buying baby formula
in LA at four in the morning was an adventure for my wife, I insisted Qantas
chaperone her)

But seriously, even through all that crap, Qantas really are the shiznit.
Under the circumstances they looked after us best as they could.