Funny Sexual mishaps

[Nitro Express]

I've had a few. I was in Newport Beach, California in a large shower with a chick and we poured a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic tanning oil over ourselves and were getting all kinky and slithery in the oil and we both slipped and nearly ended up breaking a few things. Ended up with some bruises but nothing broken thank God.

I was doing a chick doggy style real hard in college and the bed side rails came loose off the headboard and the bed fell down and the girls head smashed into the headboard with me ramming on the back of her. It ended up in crying and me running to the freezer naked for some ice.

God must watch all this and just laugh his ass off.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

couple weeks ago, we we're stayin' at some friends' house for the nite. drinkin' in the hot tub, blah, blah. we go upstairs, to one of their kid's room we sleep in there, to change outta swim suits, and proceed to proceed. cj, 20yrs old, picks the lock to his door and catches us in the act. he leaves, we finish, go downstairs and i apologize. he says "no worries, just saw an ass and kneecaps".

[HarrySchwartz]

Anyone here besides me a member of "The Mile High Club"?

Piece of advise for the guys - Girls with tattoos are easy!!!

[blonddgirl777]

What a cool thread!

Mr. B.G. and I where having sex in Vegas (living in a little bungalow) and couldn't care less about the pasta boiling on the stove top... It ended up in a kitchen fire!
L.O.L...

[blonddgirl777]

... Girls with tattoos are easy!!!

NOT!!!

[Nitro Express]

Anyone here besides me a member of "The Mile High Club"?

Piece of advise for the guys - Girls with tattoos are easy!!!

Yeah. I had sex in Denver.

[Nitro Express]

What a cool thread!

Mr. B.G. and I where having sex in Vegas (living in a little bungalow) and couldn't care less about the pasta boiling on the stove top... It ended up in a kitchen fire!
L.O.L...

That's what I call some smoking hot sex.

[Nitro Express]

couple weeks ago, we we're stayin' at some friends' house for the nite. drinkin' in the hot tub, blah, blah. we go upstairs, to one of their kid's room we sleep in there, to change outta swim suits, and proceed to proceed. cj, 20yrs old, picks the lock to his door and catches us in the act. he leaves, we finish, go downstairs and i apologize. he says "no worries, just saw an ass and kneecaps".

A friend of mine threw a big party when I was in high school. After a while people started dissapearing into various bedrooms. The next day I went over to see if he needed some help cleaning up and we got rid of all the beer cans and cleaned it up and his parents came home early and we were going phewwww, that was close! After a while his little brother comes up and goe's,"mom. My sheets are wet and smell funny." I'm like "see ya later, I've got to go now. bye!"

[Anonymous]

I was making sweet larve to this grrrl, who really likes to scratch... well, I'm a little puusy when it comes to pain. I just can't stand it... it hurts me!

So, she scratches me once, I shout "Ouch! What the fuck?" Well, the equivalent in Portuguese, anyway. She says, "sorry" & we continue.

She raked me again & this time it was too much. I lost it. Yes, I do mean the hard-on. By the way, I even got a trauma after that which is not yet completely surpassed, but anyway...

We had a talk after that... she agreed not to rake me again.

And there we go... she's on to & going wild... she presses her fingernails to the wall... DUDE!!! you could HEAR the fucking scraping on the wall as she's coming... it's INSANE! It goes on & on, and all I could think of while ramming her harder from below was "Dear Gawd, don't let me ever be that wall, please..."

Cheers! :bottle:

[Anonymous]

By the way, this is the only thing I'm ever gonna tell about my non-paying sexual adventures.

I don't even know why I did it, maybe I'm drunk, maybe I want to share the fact that I developed an issue after losing one hard-on, or maybe I became an attention whore.

Either way, the bulk of my tellable sexual mishaps (the ones done professionaly) are here:

Imapus Sylicker's adventures down Easy...Easy Street

These I don't mind telling.

Cheers! :bottle:

[Panamark]

Why do your in laws always put the loudest bed in the guest room ???

[PETE'S BROTHER]

and it's always a twin or double so you're on top of each other to start

[THEDOCTOR]

Once I was in the middle of a shoot and we were actually filming in my house and right in the middle of things ,my mom calls and leaves a message on the answering machine which could be heard very loudly. Everyone was looking at me ,and we all just started laughing. Talk about buzzkill! So that footage got erased ,obviously!
Also one time I was in a motel and me and my girl were being so loud the people in the next room started banging on the wall and yelling "shut the fuck up!" We just cracked up....and kept going ....lol

[Panamark]

I always try and outdo noisy fuck couples like you
Pity the third lot of people who have to listen to the
battle !

[VanHalener]

My girl gets rug burns so hot her legs catch fire. I always end up looking like an EMT in a porn movie burn unit every time the little slayer is pulled out for a breather.