Elevator Etiquette - ok a stupid thread but I'm annoyed

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  • Mushroom
    Commando
    • Jul 2009
    • 1122

    Elevator Etiquette - ok a stupid thread but I'm annoyed

    I'm considering writing a manual on elevator etiquette. But to start, I will run an experiment. Everytime I exit an elevator I will be ready to bull rush the exit as soon as the door opens, and then BOOM! Hit that dumbass waiting outside who's standing right in front of the door getting ready to board, and seems to forget that people are usually exiting the elevator. This must be another reflection of our self-centered society (or just a small segment of...). I'm sure some big city folk have the same experience with public transportation, subways in particular. How is everybody else's experience?
  • PETE'S BROTHER
    DIAMOND STATUS
    • Feb 2007
    • 12678

    #2
    be sure to video tape some of the takedowns
    Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

    Comment

    • sadaist
      TOASTMASTER GENERAL
      • Jul 2004
      • 11625

      #3
      I worked on the 11th floor of a building for 6 years. Elevator several times a day (smoke breaks, lunch, etc) PEOPLE SUCK!

      People out before new people in. That is rule #1-#9. I swear people cram in on the ground floor without letting people off. The worst offenders of this are Asians in Las Vegas. Rudest motherfucking people on Earth. I make a point now to be centered and bump in to people on my way out without letting them in...the people that are trying to squeeze in. Some of the time I will make a small snarky comment as well.

      Also, if you are riding and it stops to pick up more people, back up to allow more space. Some people just fucking stand in there spot and don't re-situate as people get in.

      Also, don't stand up against the buttons. News flash...other people riding might need to press for the floor they want to go too.

      As for the buttons themselves, DON'T PLAY WITH THEM! I've seen people pushing the close doors / open doors buttons like it's a fucking arcade game. And I know they are gonna short circuit the thing and get us all trapped.

      GET OFF YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!!! We don't wanna hear it...especially as you get louder & louder due to the horrible reception in an elevator.

      Or when the elevator stops at a floor and is already way past even double occupancy...packed worse than sardines. Always someone (typically heavy) that thinks there is plenty of room if they really push & squeeze. Wait for the next one...wait for a couple more...take the damn stairs. Don't squish in when you know there isn't room.
      “Great losses often bring only a numb shock. To truly plunge a victim into misery, you must overwhelm him with many small sufferings.”

      Comment

      • Guitar Shark
        ROTH ARMY SUPREME
        • Jan 2004
        • 7576

        #4
        Originally posted by sadaist
        I worked on the 11th floor of a building for 6 years. Elevator several times a day (smoke breaks, lunch, etc) PEOPLE SUCK!

        People out before new people in. That is rule #1-#9. I swear people cram in on the ground floor without letting people off. The worst offenders of this are Asians in Las Vegas. Rudest motherfucking people on Earth. I make a point now to be centered and bump in to people on my way out without letting them in...the people that are trying to squeeze in. Some of the time I will make a small snarky comment as well.

        Also, if you are riding and it stops to pick up more people, back up to allow more space. Some people just fucking stand in there spot and don't re-situate as people get in.

        Also, don't stand up against the buttons. News flash...other people riding might need to press for the floor they want to go too.

        As for the buttons themselves, DON'T PLAY WITH THEM! I've seen people pushing the close doors / open doors buttons like it's a fucking arcade game. And I know they are gonna short circuit the thing and get us all trapped.

        GET OFF YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!!! We don't wanna hear it...especially as you get louder & louder due to the horrible reception in an elevator.

        Or when the elevator stops at a floor and is already way past even double occupancy...packed worse than sardines. Always someone (typically heavy) that thinks there is plenty of room if they really push & squeeze. Wait for the next one...wait for a couple more...take the damn stairs. Don't squish in when you know there isn't room.
        Aside from the minor stereotyping, this was a classic post. Funny stuff man.
        ROTH ARMY MILITIA


        Originally posted by EAT MY ASSHOLE
        Sharky sometimes needs things spelled out for him in explicit, specific detail. I used to think it was a lawyer thing, but over time it became more and more evident that he's merely someone's idiot twin.

        Comment

        • GAR
          Banned
          • Jan 2004
          • 10849

          #5
          When I worked at the bank, I used to get pissed off waiting for the freight elevator.. it was the only one to go the full 60 floors up.

          Well one day I disembarked my bowels in the corner to carry forth my protest in anonymity.. the following week they installed a security camera.

          And to my surprise the elevator ran a little faster. Go figure.

          Comment

          • Nitro Express
            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Aug 2004
            • 32794

            #6
            This is how you take care of assholes in an elevator. Plus, it looks like a good way to get out all that pent up stress.

            <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/20540mcBjU0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/20540mcBjU0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>
            No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

            Comment

            • Nitro Express
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Aug 2004
              • 32794

              #7
              When I lived in NYC the elevator doors were like the old Let's Make a Deal show with Monte Hall. You never knew what in the fuck was going to be behind them when they opened.
              No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

              Comment

              • Diamondjimi
                DIAMOND STATUS
                • May 2004
                • 12086

                #8
                Originally posted by chan_bkny
                Are you sure it isn't because you are too slow disembarking from the elevator? I was waiting for the elevator in a hotel lobby in Hong Kong one time. When the doors opened, I saw a white guy standing in the front, and for some reason, he stood there while other people behind him went around him to exit the elevator. The people who had been waiting for the elevator were already boarding. The white guy panicked and shouted, "Wait! Wait!" I wanted to laugh. Then I shoulder-checked him as I boarded the elevator. Am I evil? Yes, I am!


                Would you have shoulder checked him if he was a yellow guy?
                Trolls take heed...LOG OUT & FUCK OFF!!!

                Comment

                • GAR
                  Banned
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 10849

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Nitro Express
                  When I lived in NYC the elevator doors were like the old Let's Make a Deal show with Monte Hall. You never knew what in the fuck was going to be behind them when they opened.
                  I'm done. I have nothing in my toolbox of experiences to top that one.

                  WIN = Nitro Express

                  Comment

                  • Igosplut
                    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                    • Jan 2004
                    • 2793

                    #10
                    Originally posted by GAR
                    I'm done. I have nothing.....
                    Edited that correctly for you coward......
                    Chainsaw Muthuafucka

                    Comment

                    • Va Beach VH Fan
                      ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
                      • Dec 2003
                      • 17913

                      #11
                      I just think people in general are much less courteous nowadays, and much more dicks....

                      Doesn't matter if it's around the elevator, walking down the street, on an airplane, and especially on the roadways....
                      Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

                      "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

                      "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth

                      Comment

                      • ZahZoo
                        ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

                        • Jan 2004
                        • 8966

                        #12
                        When alone in an elevator... it's the perfect place to cut loose the winds and fart up a storm. Just feels nice leaving a gift for the next unit...
                        "If you want to be a monk... you gotta cook a lot of rice...”

                        Comment

                        • chefcraig
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • Apr 2004
                          • 12172

                          #13
                          Originally posted by ZahZoo
                          When alone in an elevator... it's the perfect place to cut loose the winds and fart up a storm. Just feels nice leaving a gift for the next unit...
                          Insert "midget in an elevator" joke here...









                          “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                          ― Stephen Hawking

                          Comment

                          • Nitro Express
                            DIAMOND STATUS
                            • Aug 2004
                            • 32794

                            #14
                            Originally posted by chan_bkny
                            There are still some places in NYC with manual elevators with an operator who pulls the metal gates open/shut to allow passengers off/on.

                            Once I was in a warehouse in Brooklyn with a coworker looking for old files on one of the upper floors. We weren't aware of anyone else in the building other than the guy who gave us the key to the storage unit. As we're going through storage boxes, we heard a gunshot. The sound was so loud due to the place being as big as a cavern. We ran out into the hall, but didn't see anybody. We immediately ran to call the manual elevator. When it came, there was no operator. We were so scared that we didn't say a word to each other until we reached the ground floor. The guy who gave us the key was not at his desk.
                            The World Trade Center had manual elevators with operators. I remember going up in the express elevator and it was so fast your ears would pop.
                            No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                            Comment

                            • Nitro Express
                              DIAMOND STATUS
                              • Aug 2004
                              • 32794

                              #15
                              I spent some time in Hong Kong and westerners are big and clumbsy there. You have to understand the Chinese flow. Once you get that down you are fine. They make enough room for you to get by and you usually don't have to say anything to them. Just glide on by. So the traffic is like a bunch of water molecules gliding by. Americans just stand there so you can get by and sit there like a big dumb lump.
                              No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                              Comment

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