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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nashville Billboards Announce Jebus' Return May 21, 2011

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  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nashville Billboards Announce Jebus' Return May 21, 2011



    The hillbillies down here are a superstitious lot. Easily frightened (rain really scares them).

    Now they figure they only have 6 more months until Jebus is coming back!



    There are 24 shopping days left till Christmas.

    And 171 days left until Jesus' second coming.

    That's the message on 40 billboards around Nashville, proclaiming May 21, 2011, as the date of the Rapture. Billboards are up in eight other U.S. cities, too.

    Fans of Family Radio Inc., a nationwide Christian network, paid for the billboards. Family Radio's founder, Harold Camping, predicted the May date for the Rapture.

    Their message is simple — "He Is Coming Again" — and their aim is to get unbelievers to turn around quickly. But critics say the billboards are a waste of time, one more failed attempt to predict the end of the world.

    The Rapture is going to be a great day for God's people but awful for everyone else, said Allison Warden, 29, who orchestrated Nashville's billboard campaign. She's a volunteer with WeCanKnow.com, a website set up by followers of Family Radio. She and other fans designed the billboards, along with T-shirts, bumper stickers and postcards to get Camping's predictions out.

    Warden traveled from her home in Raleigh, N.C., to Nashville last week to check out the billboards, purchased through the end of the year. She wouldn't say how much they cost or name who paid for them.

    She is absolutely sure that Camping's prediction is right.

    "It's a certainty," she said.

    But the Rev. Fred Fuller of Madison Campus Seventh-day Adventist Church disagrees. He says the Bible points to Jesus' return, but no one knows when.

    "The Bible says no one knows the day or the hour," he said. "I don't believe that date-setting or the scare tactic of an immediate date is a biblical approach."

    Predicting the second coming for Jesus dates to the first days of Christianity, when believers said he would return in their lifetimes. Since then there have been a series of failed predictions. One of the most famous, known as the Great Disappointment, happened in 1843, after William Miller and his followers sold their homes and waited out in a field for Jesus to come back.

    Former NASA engineer Edgar C. Whisenant sold millions of copies of his book 88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will be in 1988.

    Richard Landes, director of the Center for Millennial Studies at Boston University, said predictions of the end of the world provide relief from the pressures of daily life for some. That's why they continue to be so popular.

    "Whatever the mess that your life is in, it makes everything nice and simple," he said.


    Billboards in other cities

    Tom Evans, a spokesman for Family Radio, insisted the predictions are true, and he and other Family Radio supporters want to save their friends and neighbors from God's judgments. The billboards are also up in Louisville, St. Louis, Detroit, Little Rock, Omaha, Kansas City, Fort Wayne, Ind., and Bridgeport, Conn. In cities with Family Radio-affiliated stations, the message is on the air.

    The latest prediction comes from a verse in Luke 17: "As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be in the days of the Son of Man."

    It's a matter of simple math, said Evans.


    Calculation of the date

    According to Camping's prediction, the Rapture will happen exactly 7,000 years from the date that God first warned people about the flood. He said the flood happened in 4990 B.C., on what would have been May 21 in the modern calendar. God gave Noah one week of warning.

    Since one day equals 1,000 years for God, that means there was a 7,000-year interval between the flood and rapture.

    "We hope that anyone would get a Bible out and try and prove that this is wrong," he said.

    To spread their message, Family Radio is also sending out caravans of RVs across the country, with the Rapture message. One should make its way to Nashville after the first of the year. They're sending missionaries around the world to hand out tracts.

    But he thinks only a small number of people — about 3 percent — will take the billboards seriously.

    "Sadly, only eight people survived the flood in Noah's time," he said. "The number of people that are going to be saved is going to be very small."

    At least one Nashville resident remains unconvinced. Sophie Boes is a manager at Whiskey Kitchen, the downtown restaurant closest to a Gulch billboard. She said she'd never seen a message like it.

    "Wow," she said. "Welcome to the South."
    I think people should be encouraged to sell everything they own and go stand on the street corner naked that day to show their devotion to Jebus.
    Last edited by Hardrock69; 12-01-2010, 01:22 PM.

  • #2
    Sell? Whaddayamean, sell? They should GIVE their stuff away, to show the Lard they're ready for Hellven.

    I wanna yacht!

    Cheers! :bottle:

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker View Post
      Sell? Whaddayamean, sell? They should GIVE their stuff away, to show the Lard they're ready for Hellven.

      I wanna yacht!

      Cheers! :bottle:
      typical diva wants.....
      Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Well, ok they should sell what they have and then give the money to the poor.

        I am looking forward to seeing a bunch of broke, naked homeless people standing around with their arms raised up in the air screaming "TAKE ME NOW JEEEEZUSS-AH!".

        This oughta be a real hoot!

        Comment


        • #5
          Jesus might be cumming. He's an exalted master and I would imagine in his realm, you get laid a lot.
          No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Imapus Sylicker View Post
            Sell? Whaddayamean, sell? They should GIVE their stuff away, to show the Lard they're ready for Hellven.

            I wanna yacht!

            Cheers! :bottle:
            My advice is start a church. If you are a good showman and BS artist, you can buy your yacht with tax free income.
            No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

            Comment


            • #7
              baby jeebus in wisconsin too



              Just days after posting billboards in the city of Milwaukee equating abortions with black genocide Pro-Life Wisconsin, an organization that fights all forms of birth control and abortions, has erected two signs in La Crosse featuring ultrasound images the organization claim represent the baby Jesus in the Virgin Mary's womb.
              Placed over the fetus in the billboards is a miniature halo. "He's on His Way. Christmas Starts with Christ," the sign reads, linking viewers to www.churchads.net, described by a Pro-Life press release as a Christian nonprofit in England that sponsored the campaign there.
              Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

              Comment


              • #8
                The rapture was invented by an insane little woman from Scotland in the late 1800s. I guess since most hillbillys are descended from Scottish peasants then this makes sense.

                The reason it caught on is simple economics. If you say to people that they will go to heaven when they die if they give their money to the church then people tend to put off giving up their money and may just put something in their will. There is then always the danger that they don't get around to making a will, or that the pesky family step in and try and inherit instead.

                With the rapture con the church gets the money right away because judgement day might come any day now.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The whole "Jesus is coming" routine reminds me of the signs in pubs that announce "Free Beer Tomorrow".

                  Remember what happened in Ohio? "Touchdown Jesus" Statue Struck By Lightning, Burns To The Ground









                  “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                  ― Stephen Hawking

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Actually, it turns out the organization who is having these billboards put up is based in California, and they are having them put up all over the US.

                    But that's ok.

                    I wonder how many churches will get sued by people who want their lifes savings back when they wind up arrested for being broke, homeless and naked on May 21 and Jebus does not show up to bail them out of jail?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Just for fun, here is a link to a few words on the legitimacy of this Harold Camping fellow. Apparently this isn't the first time the nitwit announced the Lord's return or managed to misinterpret the Bible...

                      Harold Camping's Heresies EXPOSED!









                      “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                      ― Stephen Hawking

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Here is a good trick to pull on them.

                        IF it should come out in the press that these idiots are going to gather somewhere to wait for Jebus to scoop them up and drag them screaming away to their eternal reward, and IF there is any place to hide a small but powerful PA system (like if it is near a downtown and expecially if you can get up on top of a fairly tall building, say, about 5 stories tall), you create some recordings of loud thunder with the Moron Ta-bur-nakull Kire singing some kind of bullshit, all leading up to some kind of climactic peak where there are trumpets blasting out and stuff and then this loud deep voice thunders
                        "I AM THE LORD THY GOD AND I HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!"

                        THEN YOU HAVE ONE FINAL BLAST OF THE TRUMPETS AND THEN........YOU PUT ON THIS!

                        <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AHb4gs1hwck?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AHb4gs1hwck?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
                        Last edited by Hardrock69; 12-01-2010, 03:14 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          and then the godzilla roar!!!!!!
                          Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

                          Comment


                          • #14

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by chefcraig View Post
                              Just for fun, here is a link to a few words on the legitimacy of this Harold Camping fellow. Apparently this isn't the first time the nitwit announced the Lord's return or managed to misinterpret the Bible...

                              Harold Camping's Heresies EXPOSED!
                              Harold Camping now proclaims the Lord's return will be in October, 20, 2011!


                              WOW! He's coming back on my birthday next year? COOL!

                              Comment

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