a liltle zen headed your way

[lms2]

The Zen attitude towards life is that of laughter, of living, of enjoying, of celebrating.
Zen is not anti-life, it is life-affirmative. It accepts all that is.

[lms2]

Baseball Season
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run....run! The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls." After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man!"

[lms]

1. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there
is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

2. If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his
hands with soap?

3. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?

4. Why can't they use the material from the 'little black box' for the
entire plane?

5. Why do you need a driver's license to buy beer if you can't drink and
drive?

6. Is there another word for synonym?

7. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

8. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

9. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
thrown away?

10. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

11. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?

16. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

17. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

18. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

19. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

20. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?

21. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

22. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

23. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

24. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

25. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

26. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

[lms2]

acts at random
in ignorance of
the constant, bode ill
knowing the constant
gives perspective;
this perspective is impartial
impartiality isthe highest nobility
the highest nobility is divine,
and the divine is the way
this way is everlasting
not endangered by physical death

Tao-te Ching

[Fabulous Shadow]

Dude? What are you smoking? Got anymore?

[Dan]

Deep words lms2,very deep.

[Mezro]

"It's like a finger pointing to the moon...Don't look at the finger or you will miss all the heavenly glory." BruceLee

"Send me all your cash and you'll feel good about yourself."
Anthony Robbins

"Aliens downloaded information into my brain." A Homeless Fat Man

"A shaved asian taco makes me go Johnny Socko!" Mezro

[lms2]

Confuscious Say...

Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.
Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.
Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
Passionate kiss like spider web-lead to undoing of fly.
Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day.

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
Virginity like balloon-one prick, all gone.
Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.

He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
Baseball all wrong-man with four balls can't walk.
Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man with penis in peanut butter is f*cking nuts.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.

[lms2]

Originally posted by Fabulous Shadow
Dude? What are you smoking? Got anymore?

Natural high...but I'm trying to share.

[lms2]

Originally posted by Mezro
"It's like a finger pointing to the moon...Don't look at the finger or you will miss all the heavenly glory." BruceLee

"Send me all your cash and you'll feel good about yourself."
Anthony Robbins

"Aliens downloaded information into my brain." A Homeless Fat Man

"A shaved asian taco makes me go Johnny Socko!" Mezro

he he he. Dave used that Bruce Lee quote in his book didn't he? Only he was talking about play boy.

[lms2]

Originally posted by Dan
Deep words lms2,very deep.

Well.... deep subjects, shallow minds? or vice versa?

[Fabulous Shadow]

Thanks for sharring! Your "zen" is the most enlightening!

[lms2]

Thank you.

[lms2]

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
Alfred Adler

[lms2]

On the concept of the Yin and the Yang.

'Twas said to me
That evil be
An element of good,
That if the wrong
Would quit its song,
The worthy also would.
But I suspect
If death were checked
And wickedness were bound,
Joy would suffice
And Paradise
Would prove a solid ground.