Worst/Ulgliest/Dumbest "Signature" models thread.

[Diamondjimi]

Seems like the "Signature Model" craze is bigger than it's ever been. Here's a thread for the lame ones...

First up: The Zakk Wylde Coffin thing..
http://images.gibson.com/Files/fa47ac16-64d5-4531-aa05-efc31907af76.jpg

And the V SG thing. (Action figure not included)

http://www.musicgadgets.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/zv350-21.jpg

[Diamondjimi]

The Washburn Ace Frehley model.

http://www.celebrityrockstarguitars.com/rock/frehley_files/wasace.jpg

[Diamondjimi]

:lmao: http://i685.photobucket.com/albums/vv219/Metaltim/77.gif :lmao:

http://www.premierguitar.com/Stream/StreamImage.aspx?Image_ID=D409EA68-7C7F-4715-B672-6CD898F1D1D8&Image_Type=image

http://www.premierguitar.com/Stream/StreamImage.aspx?Image_ID=7A86B020-0BAB-4340-8054-B83FACA275CF&Image_Type=image

:lol:

[Diamondjimi]

Dean USA CHRIS IMPELLITTERI SHRED SIGNATURE SPIDER
http://www.drumcityguitarland.com/drumcitygl/stores/1/images/2010%20Dean/Dean%20USA%20CHRIS%20IMPELLITTERI%20SHRED%20SIGNAT URE%20SPIDER%206-String%20Electric%20Guitar.jpg

Mmmmm K... :biggrin:

[Diamondjimi]

WTF?
"Marcus Henderson Apparition Signature Guitar"

http://imagethumbnails.milo.com/004/202/463/trimmed/4202620_1927463_trimmed.jpg

[Nitro Express]

Neal Schon had a signature model guitar in the 80's that was a dork fest. The Sarzo Slammer bass was pretty gay. Also, the Silvertone Paul Stanley signature guitar was pure aesthetic rape.

[sadaist]

Did Vinny Vincent ever have one?

[Diamondjimi]

Did Vinny Vincent ever have one?

:turninggay:

http://www.edroman.com/guitars/abstract/images/Vinnie%20Vincent%20original%20V.jpg

[Nitro Express]

:turninggay:

http://www.edroman.com/guitars/abstract/images/Vinnie%20Vincent%20original%20V.jpg

More like the Richard Simmons signature model. That thing would be at home being played by a man in short running shorts covered in oil and glitter who likes unicorns and rainbows. :biggrin:

[Diamondjimi]

:lmao: http://img3.musiciansfriend.com/dbase/pics/products/1/2/9/498129.jpg :lmao:

[Hardrock69]

The Poofter by Vinnie Vincent. :lol:

[Hardrock69]

The GIBSON Jimi Hendrix 'ExperienceGuitar package':

http://www.premierguitar.com/magazine/Issue/Daily/News/Gibson_Unveils_Strat_Style_Jimi_Hendrix_Signature_ Line.aspx

http://i55.tinypic.com/dpz9rs.jpg

It is dumb, the idea is dumb, and well, not quite as 'ulgly' as some of these whack jobs, but the sheer idiocy involved in even considering something like this is mind-boggling.

[chefcraig]

The GIBSON Jimi Hendrix 'ExperienceGuitar package':

http://www.premierguitar.com/magazine/Issue/Dail/News/Gibson_Unveils_Strat_Style_Jimi_Hendrix_Signature_ Line.aspx

It is dumb, the idea is dumb, and well, not quite as 'ulgly' as some of these whack jobs, but the sheer idiocy involved in even considering something like this is mind-boggling.

Topped only by this, even if it was a one-off...Meet the Jimi Hendrix grand piano (http://www.musicradar.com/news/guitars/meet-the-jimi-hendrix-grand-piano-221720)


http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/5238/hendrixpiano46010046070.jpg (http://img684.imageshack.us/i/hendrixpiano46010046070.jpg/)

http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/5811/hendrixpianolid46010046.jpg (http://img812.imageshack.us/i/hendrixpianolid46010046.jpg/)

[Nitro Express]

:lmao: http://img3.musiciansfriend.com/dbase/pics/products/1/2/9/498129.jpg :lmao:

Oh shit.:barf:

[Nitro Express]

The GIBSON Jimi Hendrix 'ExperienceGuitar package':

http://www.premierguitar.com/magazine/Issue/Daily/News/Gibson_Unveils_Strat_Style_Jimi_Hendrix_Signature_ Line.aspx

http://i55.tinypic.com/dpz9rs.jpg

It is dumb, the idea is dumb, and well, not quite as 'ulgly' as some of these whack jobs, but the sheer idiocy involved in even considering something like this is mind-boggling.

It's fine if you are Gene Simmons. It's blasphemy if you are Jimi Hendrix. I'm expecting to see a Jimi Hendrix credit card and condoms next. Or how about a Jimi Hendrix casket? Oh yeah, that would be tasteful.

[Terry]

More like the Richard Simmons signature model. That thing would be at home being played by a man in short running shorts covered in oil and glitter who likes unicorns and rainbows. :biggrin:


Don't be hatin' on unicorns!!:o

[Terry]

Well, the downside of Janie running Experience Hendrix is that his name is stamped on everything under the sun.

The upside is that this policy does result in Hendrix-related stuff I'm interested in (specifically recordings and films) being made available for purchase...unlike, say, the Van Halen line of products.

[hambon4lif]

http://www.premierguitar.com/Stream/StreamImage.aspx?Image_ID=D409EA68-7C7F-4715-B672-6CD898F1D1D8&Image_Type=image

http://www.premierguitar.com/Stream/StreamImage.aspx?Image_ID=7A86B020-0BAB-4340-8054-B83FACA275CF&Image_Type=imageLMAO! Are those Brets?? They look like Hannah Montanas. He only uses the fucking things for that one song "Every Gay Cowboy Eats Pudding" or whatever......and he has a signature series.

If you buy one of those you deserve to be broke, and beat the fuck up.

[Seshmeister]

:lmao: http://i685.photobucket.com/albums/vv219/Metaltim/77.gif :lmao:

http://www.premierguitar.com/Stream/StreamImage.aspx?Image_ID=D409EA68-7C7F-4715-B672-6CD898F1D1D8&Image_Type=image

http://www.premierguitar.com/Stream/StreamImage.aspx?Image_ID=7A86B020-0BAB-4340-8054-B83FACA275CF&Image_Type=image

:lol:

I was going to say Justin Hawkins having a Gibson signature model LP but I can't compete with that... :)

[hambon4lif]

On the headstock, does it say "Bret Michaels" or "First Act"? It's hard to tell.

Anyway, that bald squatter has got alot of nerve selling some fruity shit like that to people.

[Seshmeister]

Apparently they are £280 here, that's like $400 for something that looks like it's from Toys R Us and is a credibility black hole for anyone who touches it.

[lesfunk]

Super expensive, high quality bass but... rather ugly and ungainly.

[lesfunk]

this one on the other hand....
I think even Sarzo might be ashamed of this

[sadaist]

Super expensive, high quality bass but... rather ugly and ungainly.


Perfect look for some EMO or goth type local band playing dive bars.


I do love dive bars though.

[Seshmeister]

this one on the other hand....
I think even Sarzo might be ashamed of this

Is that life size?

Sarzo is a tiny wee guy.

[chefcraig]

On the headstock, does it say "Bret Michaels" or "First Act"? It's hard to tell.

First Act: For people who buy their kids' musical instruments at the same place they purchase motor oil, cheap shoes and bags of underwear: K Mart.

Or if you really wanted to get fucked, you got one free when buying a Volkswagen a few years ago.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVjD05flnlU

[hambon4lif]

Apparently they are £280 here, that's like $400 for something that looks like it's from Toys R Us and is a credibility black hole for anyone who touches it.$400 is ridiculously high. I wouldn't pay $4.00 for that piece of shit, even if they threw in the bandanna and the huge block of cheese.

[jhale667]

this one on the other hand....
I think even Sarzo might be ashamed of this

Dunno about that; he seemed to like it when I posted a pic of my 80s bass player playing one the other day...responded "NICE!!!!!"

[lesfunk]

The trouble with the Sarzo sig bass is that it's covered in Rudy's spit from him licking it

[ELVIS]

I've always hated the way this looks...

http://www.ioffer.com/img/item/178/826/569/ibanez-jem-7v-steve-vai-signature-electric-guitar-6b40a.jpg


:barf:

[ELVIS]

This is even worse...

http://images.madeinchina.com/p/976/1545976_0/JEM7V-Steve-Vai-Signature-Electric-Guitar-green_1545976_0.bak.jpg


:elvis:

[Diamondjimi]

Never had the desire to run out and buy a Ibanez Jem. But I wouldn't turn one down if someone offered one dirt cheap. These fuckers are pure shred.

I don't think these are ugly at all.....

[indeedido]

I dig the Jem series too. Some look better than others, but not much from the 80's stands the test of time. Very comfortable and easy to play.

[VAiN]

http://img3.musiciansfriend.com/dbase/pics/products/2/2/7/539227.jpg

PRS Mark Tremonti Signature Model

This fucking Creed douche bag gets a 'signature' model???? :barf:

[chefcraig]

PRS Mark Tremonti Signature Model

This fucking Creed douche bag gets a 'signature' model???? :barf:

Relax, you can only find them in Christian book stores and church bazaars. :jesuslol:

[Nitro Express]

The trouble with the Sarzo sig bass is that it's covered in Rudy's spit from him licking it
:biggrin:

[sadaist]

This fucking Creed douche bag gets a 'signature' model???? :barf:


You'd think this guy would have a sig model before the Creed guy.


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tfWjOZSw8ck/Sz9z2YoTo6I/AAAAAAAAAAw/p8UG0N8ftsU/S1600-R/jesus_guitar.jpg

[binnie]

http://img3.musiciansfriend.com/dbase/pics/products/2/2/7/539227.jpg

PRS Mark Tremonti Signature Model

This fucking Creed douche bag gets a 'signature' model???? :barf:

Whilst Creed sucked a big fat one, Tremonti's work in Alter Bridge is pretty fucking stella.

[ashstralia]

i've had a few jems over the years, they are good guitars. mostly. they kinda feel a bit fragile, keeping a floating trem operating optimally at maximum abuse levels is a bit of work. also seen quite a few with twisted necks, and bad fretwork. these were more aftermarket issues though. i agree the white one looks horrendous. like a mafia wedding gift.


steve probably broke more than they sold in the first year.(1987).:)

[Hardrock69]

One of the ongoing topics of discussion between my best friend and I is how guitarists who only have a few albums out and who did not arrive on the public scene until just a few years ago already have a signature model.

We laugh at this.

I can see an iconic guitarist (spEd, Beck, Page, Clapton, Rhodes, Downing, Hendrix, Malmsteen, etc.) having one, but now apparently Joe Blow can have a signature model.

I mean, there are guitarists now I have never even heard of or read anything about, much less HEARD, who have signature models.

I find it stupid.

If you are not a household name, or a legendary icon in rock music, why in the FUCK do you think you deserve to have a signature model?????

[chefcraig]

...If you are not a household name, or a legendary icon in rock music, why in the FUCK do you think you deserve to have a signature model?????

Being a nobody, for the life of me I can not fathom why anyone would wish to duplicate or live the "chef" experience by owning one of my guitars. I mean, the instrument would be soaked in beer, missing some strings and you couldn't even play the damned thing if you wanted to, because it's either locked up at my ex-wife's house, in storage or has already been sold off at a post-divorce garage sale. Hell, it would be a better idea to purchase the "chef-brand" hammer, which you could use to knock yourself in the skull with. It would certainly be cheaper, and you'd pretty much end up with the same "experience" that I've had.

[indeedido]

:biggrin:

[Hardrock69]

Just to clarify, lol, that sentence should read: "...If you are not a household name, or a legendary icon in rock music, why in the FUCK do you think you deserve to have a signature model bearing your name built and marketed by a guitar company?????"
:biggrin:

Ha! The "Chef-Brand Hammer"! :lmao:

[Diamondjimi]

One of the ongoing topics of discussion between my best friend and I is how guitarists who only have a few albums out and who did not arrive on the public scene until just a few years ago already have a signature model.

We laugh at this.

I can see an iconic guitarist (spEd, Beck, Page, Clapton, Rhodes, Downing, Hendrix, Malmsteen, etc.) having one, but now apparently Joe Blow can have a signature model.

I mean, there are guitarists now I have never even heard of or read anything about, much less HEARD, who have signature models.

I find it stupid.

If you are not a household name, or a legendary icon in rock music, why in the FUCK do you think you deserve to have a signature model?????

Agreed. There iseems to be zero criteria for a sig.model these days, it seems. It's not about paying homage to a player for his/her contributions to guitar. It's only about moving product.
I think it "cheapens" a company's credibility.

Couldn't tell ya a single tune this guy's(DJ Ashba) written, yet he has his own line of signature Ovations. (Not dissin him Jay, I know he's a friend. But jus' sayin....)
http://cdn.mos.musicradar.com/images/features/unlikely-sigs/dj-ashba-530-85.jpg

[jhale667]

Agreed. There iseems to be zero criteria for a sig.model these days, it seems. It's not about paying homage to a player for his/her contributions to guitar. It's only about moving product.
I think it "cheapens" a company's credibility.

Couldn't tell ya a single tune this guy's(DJ Ashba) written, yet he has his own line of signature Ovations. (Not dissin him Jay, I know he's a friend. But jus' sayin....)
http://cdn.mos.musicradar.com/images/features/unlikely-sigs/dj-ashba-530-85.jpg

No offense taken, and though a gig like his in GnR is still nothing to sneeze at, I still agree with your overall statement. It does seem like everyone has a "signature" model these days.

[indeedido]

Don't forget Dave Navarro and his signature Epiphone acoustic. He's an acoustic wizard. You know, the guy from that TV show that used to be married to that whore than Dennis Rodman used to beat up.

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p301/indeedido/751373.jpg

[Hardrock69]

Oh, THAT guy that used to be married to THAT whore. :hee:

[Diamondjimi]

Don't forget Dave Navarro and his signature Epiphone acoustic. He's an acoustic wizard. You know, the guy from that TV show that used to be married to that whore than Dennis Rodman used to beat up.

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p301/indeedido/751373.jpg


Oh, THAT guy that used to be married to THAT whore. :hee:

:lol:

[jhale667]

:lmao: