Angel Moroni pulls fire alarm to get Mittens out of answering questions in Iowa

[FORD]

[Nitro Express]

I think the angel Moroni was the result of Jospeh Smith eating some mushrooms that were growing in the cow pasture.

[FORD]

<div style="background-color:#000000;width:368px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><embed src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:southparkstudios.com:104253" width="360" height="293" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" base="." flashVars=""></embed><p style="text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><b><a href="http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s07e12-all-about-mormons">All About Mormons</a></b><br/>Tags: <a style="display: block; position: relative; top: -1.33em; float: right; font-weight: bold; color: #ffcc00; text-decoration: none" href="http://www.southparkstudios.com/">SOUTH<br/>PARK</a><a href="http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/episodes/s07e12-all-about-mormons">more...</a></p></div></div>

[SunisinuS]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuP9YClyPRY

[Nitro Express]

Moroni. The last of the white native Americans. What's interesting is the bad guy in the Book of Mormon Lemual was the same name as the Smith family's landlord that evicted them for not paying rent on the farm he owned.

[Nitro Express]

[FORD]

Moroni. The last of the white native Americans. What's interesting is the bad guy in the Book of Mormon Lemual was the same name as the Smith family's landlord that evicted them for not paying rent on the farm he owned.

Was the landlord a Lamanite?

[jhale667]

What's interesting is the bad guy in the Book of Mormon Lemual was the same name as the Smith family's landlord that evicted them for not paying rent on the farm he owned.

And went on to sing for Kajagoogoo?

[Nitro Express]

Was the landlord a Lamanite?

Actually he was a Quaker. The Smith's couldn't make the mortgage payment and the farm went into foreclosure. He bought the farm from the bank and rented it to the Smith's. He finally kicked them out because they weren't making rent and then his daughter's family moved into the place. He also gave public testimony that was quite unflattering of the Smith family especially of Joseph Smith and his father.

If you do some research it's pretty obvious Joseph Smith just pieced the whole church together as he went. The Book of Mormon is a hodgepodge of some books that were available in the day. He ripped off Swedenborg and his partner Oliver Cowdery's minister wrote a book about Jews migrating to the Americas.

Later on in Illinois, Jospeh became a free mason and made his own copy of that. Before that the mormon temples were just public meeting houses. They even held school in the temple during the week. After Joseph became a mason and started secretly marrying other women, then the whole weird masonic, secret club thing got going.

[Nitro Express]

It's too bad the Carthage Greys killed Joseph Smith because that made a martyr out of him. If Smith would have lived his scandals would have caught up with him. I mean we are talking about a religious leader who would dress up in a generals uniform and parade a militia around and even ran as a candidate for US president. He was practicing polygamy in secret, stole the inheritance of some children he became the legal guardian for. He would send the husband on a mission and make moves on his wife when he was away. He ran ponzi schemes. The most infamous was a banking scheme in Ohio. I mean Joseph Smith was a ticking time bomb. If he would have lived all the scandals would have blown up in his face and the church would have not survived it.

Why it survived is Joseph was murdered by a mob and Brigham Young moved the church into isolation where the church had time to get established and get a foot hold. Brigham Young is really the father of modern mormonism. Joseph Smith is just the guy they put up on the pedestal but there would be no Mormon Church as we know it without Brigham Young. Unfortunately Brigham saved the scam and took it farther than Joseph Smith ever could have.

[sadaist]

Well, as far as fire alarms...I GET THE FUCK OUT!


Ever since that horrifying shit went down at the Great White concert where our rock brethren lost their lives...I ain't fucking around anymore.

I don't think Mitt would dodge any questions though. He has already been through them all when he ran last time. He is an experienced politician. He knows how to talk his way out of anything. Just like all the experienced ones.

[Seshmeister]

It's too bad the Carthage Greys killed Joseph Smith because that made a martyr out of him. If Smith would have lived his scandals would have caught up with him. I mean we are talking about a religious leader who would dress up in a generals uniform and parade a militia around and even ran as a candidate for US president. He was practicing polygamy in secret, stole the inheritance of some children he became the legal guardian for. He would send the husband on a mission and make moves on his wife when he was away. He ran ponzi schemes. The most infamous was a banking scheme in Ohio. I mean Joseph Smith was a ticking time bomb. If he would have lived all the scandals would have blown up in his face and the church would have not survived it.

Why it survived is Joseph was murdered by a mob and Brigham Young moved the church into isolation where the church had time to get established and get a foot hold. Brigham Young is really the father of modern mormonism. Joseph Smith is just the guy they put up on the pedestal but there would be no Mormon Church as we know it without Brigham Young. Unfortunately Brigham saved the scam and took it farther than Joseph Smith ever could have.

No offence to anyone reading this but if you are a Mormon you are a fucking idiot hole.

It's up there with Scientology as being completely implausible.

Jesus and Mohammed at least have the defence of being so long ago their personal life stories are lost in the mists of time.

I wouldn't vote for a Mormon as town dog catcher because they've already proved themselves to be completely gullible.

[Nitro Express]

No offence to anyone reading this but if you are a Mormon you are a fucking idiot hole.

It's up there with Scientology as being completely implausible.

Jesus and Mohammed at least have the defence of being so long ago their personal life stories are lost in the mists of time.

I wouldn't vote for a Mormon as town dog catcher because they've already proved themselves to be completely gullible.

What makes Mormonism successful is they are very good at getting the next generation trapped into it. It's a high pressure cult that involves itself into every aspect of it's members lives and to get out of it you basically have to write your family off. So it's not so simple to get out of if you are born into it and most active Mormons are born into it. Of course the church wants it's members to be successful (more tithing money and more community influence) so they encourage hard work, education, and being a success. If you live in a community where there are lots of Mormons it's good for business. So the money and contacts thing comes into play. I mean the church has to be successful or nobody would want to be in it. There are some very rich Mormons who are pretty sophisticated. Mitt is one of those types. All this religious pressure creates a wonderful decadent underground that Roth even mentioned in his book. Salt Lake City had a very colorful backstage. Some of the most decadence I enjoyed was right in good old Salt Lake City. I'm sure Max had his fun as well. The Hilton after concerts. Cocaine. Naked people running around. All in sight of the holy temple.

The thing is it's not the Book of Mormon. It's not Joseph Smith. All the dogma is just filler. It could be anything. It's the organization. The religious bit constantly changes and adapts. If the government seizes your assets for practicing polygamy you suddenly have a revelation to get rid of it. If the black community protest your college sports teams you have a revelation to give blacks the priesthood. When Brigham Young's discources are too racist and unpolitically correct for modern times, you sweep them under the rug and focus on a new image of Joseph Smith. It goes on and on. The key is to change gradually.

What would be the death nail of Mormonism is the young people going off to a non-LDS college after high school graduation, not serving a mission and marrying a non-member of the church. I always maintained if the average Mormon could completely isolate themselves from the church for a year, no way in hell would they go back to it. That is why the church spends tons of money on universities and pushes missions. The missions are not so much to convert people as to brain wash the missionaries and get them married off to a nice Mormon girl when they get home.

[FORD]

Hell, even the allegedly clean-cut "All American" Beach Boys made it clear in one of their songs that they appreciated the Mormon chicks in Salt Lake City.....

[Nitro Express]

Forbidden fruit always tastes the best. The thing is, when premarital sex is made to be dirty and those girls have it in their heads they better have some fun before they do get married in the temple, they put out. It's not so much belief, it's keeping the family happy and avoiding getting cut out of the family fortune by not leaving the church. Rich Mormon girls tend to be the most rebellious and the best in the sack.

What you have to realize is when you grow up in a system that has expectations so high, no human can live up them and when you get reprimanded and guilt tripped for failing to live up to those expectations you lie. Mormonism rewards lying as long as you don't get caught or can lie your way out of it. Since the religion itself is based on lies and you have to be a liar to keep from being chastised in it, you create a population of some of the best liars on the planet.