Top 10 Worst Metal Albums - From Yahoo (VH reference too)

[rocknrolldork]

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/listoftheday/141511/the-ten-worst-heavy-metal-albums-of-all-time/

I do agree that the albums listed are pretty bad. This one quote caught me as quite funny:

"All Van Halen albums with Sammy Hagar qualify for this list. But that was too obvious."

Here is the list w/o the blah blah blah...

10. The Elder - Kiss
9. Slang - Def Leppard
8. Motley Crue - Motley Crue
7. Never Say Die - Black Sabbath
6. The Pack is Back - Raven
5. Fear of the Dark - Iron Maiden
4. Come Out and Play - Twisted Sister
3. Bark at the Moon - Ozzy
2. Chinese Democracy - GnR
1. (3 way tie) Suck, Re-Suck and St. Anger - Metallica

I can think of worse metal albums than Bark at the Moon and Chinese Democracy, but the others are def worthy.

[Seshmeister]

Bark At the Moon?

That's ridiculous. Even if they hate Ozzy from that time it's way better than The Ultimate Sin.

[FORD]

My guess is that Bark of the Moon made the list because it was such a huge drop after Diary of a Madman. Much in the same way that the Rolling Stones "Goats Head Soup" was considered a "bad" album, because it wasn't as good as Exile on Main Street, but now with nearly 40 years of historical perspective added, it certainly was a much better record than "Dirty Work" or "Undercover".

But as you say, Bark of the Moon certainly holds up better than "Ultimate Sin". Or the more recent shit where Ozzy can't even sing without heavy autotuning.

[indeedido]

I love Bark at the Moon. I think it's a great album. The rest on the list I can agree with although I think that Crue album was good.

[FORD]

The so-called "Motley Crue" album might have gone over better if they had called it something else. Vince Neil might not be the entire identity of Crue, but he's a big enough piece that it wasn't the same band without him, and with Corabi, they were definitely trying to sound like they were "from Seattle", if you know what I mean.

If they had marketed it as a new band, they might have actually succeeded, and got more than one record out of it.

[jhale667]

The so-called "Motley Crue" album might have gone over better if they had called it something else. Vince Neil might not be the entire identity of Crue, but he's a big enough piece that it wasn't the same band without him, and with Corabi, they were definitely trying to sound like they were "from Seattle", if you know what I mean.

If they had marketed it as a new band, they might have actually succeeded, and got more than one record out of it.

I tend to agree...I like that CD better than the rest of their catalog with Vince...

[sadaist]

I love Bark at the Moon. I think it's a great album.



100% agree. Jake was insane on that record. Listen to the ending guitar on Bark At The Moon. My God he was fucking shredding his ass off.

[BITEYOASS]

Oh come on! "Never Say Die" was fuckin awesome! Now the tour supporting it on the other hand....

[hambon4lif]

The so-called "Motley Crue" album might have gone over better if they had called it something else. Vince Neil might not be the entire identity of Crue, but he's a big enough piece that it wasn't the same band without him, and with Corabi, they were definitely trying to sound like they were "from Seattle", if you know what I mean.

If they had marketed it as a new band, they might have actually succeeded, and got more than one record out of it.It's still one of my favorite albums, by anyone. The material on it is so good and so heavy that when I first heard it, I was shocked to find out it was them.

They should've stuck with Corabi. Fuck DUI

[TFM_Dale]

I liked the Crue album also, still give it a listen every now and then. Welcome to the numb is bad ass.

[Mr. Vengeance]

BATM is not even close to Ozzy's worst. And Never Say Die may have been the worst of the Ozzy Sab albums, but I actually like it, and as long as that abortion called Forbidden is out there, it can never be Sabbath's worst album. As long as X Factor is out there, Fear of the Dark isn't Maiden's worst.

On the other hand, I agree with The Elder and Load.

Raven's album I have to agree with too. When I first put it on my turntable way back in the 80s, my copy of All For One got up and punched me in the balls.

[dazzlindino]

Crue rocked with Corabi, thru a club pa, cranked, that album is phenominal. Tommy Lee's best work is that album....
If mtv and the record labels hadnt givin the airways to grunge and rap, we would still be hearing some good music....oh well....

[Fairwrning]

" When it's time we'll smoke the sky!!!!"......

Great Crue album...and agree its Tommy Lee's best work...SO many good tunes..I honestly cant think of a bad tune on that disc cept maybe " Driftaway "..
"Loveshine" is great tune.

[Fairwrning]

Mick Mars is so underrated.

[Seshmeister]

100% agree. Jake was insane on that record. Listen to the ending guitar on Bark At The Moon. My God he was fucking shredding his ass off.

Damn right.

Just checked the 'reasoning' at the original site.


3) Ozzy Osbourne - Bark At the Moon: There are certain rules to heavy metal that must be observed. The first rule is FIRE THE KEYBOARD PLAYER. Let him join a progressive rock or pop band where he belongs. Back in the 1980s, you could determine a heavy metal album's terribleness by the amount of cheesy synthesizer used on it. Maybe we need to cut Ozzy some slack here. He did lose his guitar player Randy Rhoads, but then again maybe Ozzy should refund me the money I wasted on this album. When in doubt, ask What Would Lemmy Do? (Answer: Lemmy would FIRE THE KEYBOARD PLAYER.)

Purchase instead: Blizzard of Ozz, Diary of A Madman and Aleister Crowley's castle.

I think these fucking bozos have got their albums mixed up. What keyboards? There are no more keyboards on BATM than Diary, or the first album. Just an intro or two and a few little bits in the background for emphasis. Ozzy's keyboard 'problem' didn't start until live performances of The Ultimate Sin.

What would Lemmy do? Will all due respect he would do the same song again and again for 30 years.

Clueless idiot holes.

[FORD]

The keyboards didn't dominate the albums too much, but it seems like they took over the live show the minute Randy died. You listen to any live recording of Ozzy with either Jake or Brad Gillis on guitar, and the keyboards are WAY too goddamn loud in the mix. And on most of the songs they were entirely unnecessary.

[dazzlindino]

the mutts, with hooligans holiday...
http://youtu.be/KK7u7w5zEU4

[sonrisa salvaje]

BATM is not even close to Ozzy's worst. And Never Say Die may have been the worst of the Ozzy Sab albums, but I actually like it, and as long as that abortion called Forbidden is out there, it can never be Sabbath's worst album. As long as X Factor is out there, Fear of the Dark isn't Maiden's worst.

On the other hand, I agree with The Elder and Load.

Raven's album I have to agree with too. When I first put it on my turntable way back in the 80s, my copy of All For One got up and punched me in the balls.

I agree with you on a couple of things. First off, let me say that Ozzmosis makes Bark at the Moon look like Zeppelin 4. How anyone could ever point a finger at Bark is beyond me. Hey, i love Ultimate Sin to death but most people would point at that album as the weakest of the first 4 records. To me, Black Rain is the clunker to end all clunkers followed closely by Ozzmosis.

Props to you Mr. V for knowing enough about the Tony Martin era to mention Forbidden. I absolutely love Never Say Die. Agree also that Fear of the Dark is not Maiden's worst record.

Finally, does anyone consider The Elder or Chinese Democracy to be metal albums.....or even hard rock albums? Maybe a better category for them would be worst concept albums. If one wanted to throw semi hard rock albums on a list and rate their level of putridness, i would have to think Def Leppard's Adrenalize would be up there too. For a true metal album that sucks i would have to look to Judas Priest's Ram it Down to crack the top ten.

[Seshmeister]

The keyboards didn't dominate the albums too much, but it seems like they took over the live show the minute Randy died. You listen to any live recording of Ozzy with either Jake or Brad Gillis on guitar, and the keyboards are WAY too goddamn loud in the mix. And on most of the songs they were entirely unnecessary.

I think the turning point was on the Ultimate Sin tour, that's when you started to get the keyboards doing that horrible thing of following the guitar riff. A mistake that Roth succumbed to as well around that time. I don't know what they were thinking because it was just as shit at the time as it sounds now. It was never fashionable in fact GNR were selling the most by being raw.

Compare



which is great with




which is spoiled.


Also worth mentioning that Ozzy album sales in the US were approx

1. Blizzard 3 million
2. DOAM 3 million
3. BATM 3 million
4. TUS 2 million
5. NRFTW 2 million

So the 50% drop in sales came with The Ultimate Sin not BATM.


In any case that's not the argument here it's about the albums not the sales or the live performance and the authors of the piece are just plain wrong and their reasons are too.

[Seshmeister]

Also it's simplistic and dumb to criticize keyboards out of hand, it depends how they are used. In Faith No More they made the music more powerful not cheesy. Or what about in No More Tears?

[Mr. Vengeance]

I agree with you on a couple of things. First off, let me say that Ozzmosis makes Bark at the Moon look like Zeppelin 4. How anyone could ever point a finger at Bark is beyond me. Hey, i love Ultimate Sin to death but most people would point at that album as the weakest of the first 4 records. To me, Black Rain is the clunker to end all clunkers followed closely by Ozzmosis.

Props to you Mr. V for knowing enough about the Tony Martin era to mention Forbidden. I absolutely love Never Say Die. Agree also that Fear of the Dark is not Maiden's worst record.

Finally, does anyone consider The Elder or Chinese Democracy to be metal albums.....or even hard rock albums? Maybe a better category for them would be worst concept albums. If one wanted to throw semi hard rock albums on a list and rate their level of putridness, i would have to think Def Leppard's Adrenalize would be up there too. For a true metal album that sucks i would have to look to Judas Priest's Ram it Down to crack the top ten.

Oh shit,....Ram it Down was one awful pile of dogshit. People thought Priest had gone soft with Turbo, but RID was awful.

I have to throw Krokus' Change of Address and Scorpions Savage amusement in the worst list. Just awful.

[FORD]

Here's a blatant example of keyboard abuse. Why the fuck is a keyboard even IN this song? Geezus, Airey, can't you go backstage and get a blow job or something??


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pm3G4Ig0GQ

[sadaist]

Note to all of you who liked John Corabi and that one "Motley Crue" album...





IT WASN'T MOTLEY MOTHERFUCKING CRUE!!!!!!




Jesus H Christ already! It's not Crue without Vince just like it's not Van Halen without Dave. It doesn't matter 1 single bit if the album was spectacular or not. the FACT that they called themselves Motley Crue is what pissed everyone off and made the album SUCK. They should have been SIXX AM or or Crued Dudes or anything but Motley Crue.


*And yeah, I'm very heated on this subject. Crue was my first favorite heavy metal band and my first concert way way long ago. the Theatre Of Pain tour with Loudness opening. I know what real Crue is, and that album wasn't it.

[FORD]

Real Crue was the first two albums. After that they pretty much became cheesy MTV pussies. Until they tried to be a grunge band with Corabi.

[lesfunk]

Here's a blatant example of keyboard abuse. Why the fuck is a keyboard even IN this song? Geezus, Airey, can't you go backstage and get a blow job or something??


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pm3G4Ig0GQ
I don't think the problem is that there are keyboards in Crazy Train. I think the problem is they are turned up loud enough to be heard. Bad Mix....

[rocknrolldork]

In Faith No More they made the music more powerful not cheesy.

Faith No More was meant to be keyboard based. That is part of the reason Jim Martin quit or had enough friction to be let go. Whatever. Love Faith No More. Def in my top 10-15 bands of all time.

John Corabi was singing for Bruce Boulliet's (sp) band The Scream before Corabi left for Motley Crue. I met Bruce's brother in college and met Bruce through him. Of the few music related conversations I had with Bruce it was easy to gather he did not like Motley Crue. This was 88 and 89. Before the Scream. He said he hated them and Paul Gilbert only liked the first album. Ironic that a few years later his singer would leave to be in that band. FTR... Too Fast For Love is the only album I dig by them. There are a couple tunes outside of it, but def no more than 6. And I agree it was a different band w/o Vince.

As far as Kiss albums go... Unmasked and Crazy Nights are totally unlistenable. At least The Elder had I and a few others. Still a shitty album.

Ozzy. After No Rest for the Wicked, he kind of lost me.

I have talked briefly with a couple people on here who agree (and I know not everyone will), but as a solid rock n roll album, Chinese Democracy really isn't that bad. It is a bit weighted to the ballad side but there are some great heavy tunes on that album. Most of them are at the least well written tunes. I know they had over a decade to work on it, but the production on it is absolutely FLAWLESS! Both on vinyl and disc. But I'm saying this as a guy who digs all types and genres of music, solid total albums and/or solid songwriting and/or great production.

I can think of worse hard rock/metal albums than most of those. Just throwing these out there in particular order (I'm leaving out the Van Hagar and Van Cherone albums):

VH III (Fuck it. The tour was good but the album sucked slug balls.)
Any Aerosmith album after Done With Mirrors
Post-Empire Queensryche.
Any Fastway album after All Fired Up.
Any Alice Cooper album after From the Inside
All Manson albums post-Holywood
Several albums from Helix, WASP, Krokus, Cinderella, Bon Jovi, Ratt, Extreme, and so on and so on and so on...

I'm just getting started. I could list albums all night.

[Nitro Express]

I don't think the problem is that there are keyboards in Crazy Train. I think the problem is they are turned up loud enough to be heard. Bad Mix....

I think they should have lit the keyboardist on fire and smashed a guitar on top on him.

[Nitro Express]

As much as he was masturbating himself on the keys, he had the wrong job. He should have gotten a job at Organ Stop Pizza. You can play a cool old Werlitzer organ and you have a captive audience.

[Seshmeister]

Here's a blatant example of keyboard abuse. Why the fuck is a keyboard even IN this song? Geezus, Airey, can't you go backstage and get a blow job or something??


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pm3G4Ig0GQ

Oh dear you got me. :)

How disappointing I never realised Airy did those cheesy lines too but usually lower in the mix.

It's the verse that bugs me so much, the chorus is not too bad because it almost sound like a backing vocal. I think at one stage Roth had the even worse crime of the same thing happening with Unchained.

My defence here is it's Jake E Lees first ever gig after previously just playing in bars, maybe the sound guy was instructed to up the keyboards a bit as a crutch.

No need though as Jake played like a god, how is it possible to play like that in your first gig? To a crowd that size without stubbing the odd note or your knees wobbling a bit.

On a related note something I have always wondered about bands from that era. If you are Don Airy back then, how do you afford $20k worth of keyboards in a time when that could get you a small house? Somehow I don't see Sharon paying for them. Were keyboard players just independently wealthy or just rigorously drug free so they spent their coke budget on equipment? Did this influence the reduction in keyboard players from the 70s to the 80s and 90s?

Someone should write a thesis.

[Seshmeister]

Faith No More was meant to be keyboard based. That is part of the reason Jim Martin quit or had enough friction to be let go. Whatever. Love Faith No More. Def in my top 10-15 bands of all time.


Martin came across as having a horrendous personality, a prick of the highest order.

I saw them once headline to a sell out 1800 people going down a storm and before the encore he just started throwing abuse at the audience for a full few minutes. The worst kind of unfunny superior abuse. 'You fucking pricks eat porridge all day yeah? And fuck sheep? Haha. Yeah fuck you fucking assholes. You ever even read a book?' On and on and it came from nothing as I said they were going down great.

He was lucky to get out of there alive, it turned really nasty in a venue small enough where the all standing crowd could have got them. If it was my band I would have sacked him on the spot. It's not like he played anything that his roadie couldn't have, and his roadie probably looked better.

Maybe it was a drugs malfunction but I think he was often a dick in interviews too.

[Mr Badguy]

I don't know how Ki$$ "Animalize" always gets off scot free in these polls.

Yes, it's a platinum album, but there's only one good song on it for fucks sake.

[FORD]

Chaim Witz would probably sue Yahoo if KI$$ turned up in any negative polls. :biggrin:

"The Elder" is exempt, because even KI$$ themselves have admitted that was a piece of shit, and never even bothered making the movie that it was allegedly the "soundtrack" for.

Couldn't have turned out any worse than "KI$$ Meets the Phantom of the Park".

[sonrisa salvaje]

Oh shit,....Ram it Down was one awful pile of dogshit. People thought Priest had gone soft with Turbo, but RID was awful.

I have to throw Krokus' Change of Address and Scorpions Savage amusement in the worst list. Just awful.

Well damn. I forgot about Savage Amusement. That was terrible. With the momentum they had coming off of Love At First Sting, that was a dissapointement for the ages.

That springs to mind QRIII which was a keyboard nightmare. I liked The Wild and The Young but otherwise that album should have been canned. Talk about a career killer!

[Mr. Vengeance]

I don't know how Ki$$ "Animalize" always gets off scot free in these polls.

Yes, it's a platinum album, but there's only one good song on it for fucks sake.

You have no love for a classic like "Burn Bitch, Burn"?

[dazzlindino]

Real Crue was the first two albums. After that they pretty much became cheesy MTV pussies. Until they tried to be a grunge band with Corabi.
lets see this on a heavy metal list, but you call it grunge , apparently neither of you listened to the album....

[Jesus Christ]

My choice for worst metal album ever......

http://cdn.mos.musicradar.com/images/features/rubbish-album-covers/metal%20converted/stryken-first-strike-530-85.jpg

Yes, they were singing about Me. I really wish they hadn't, because I'd rather be crucified again, than listen to this record more than once! :jesuslol:

[Jesus Christ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DUQRuF1r80

[DlocRoth]

Here's a blatant example of keyboard abuse. Why the fuck is a keyboard even IN this song? Geezus, Airey, can't you go backstage and get a blow job or something??


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pm3G4Ig0GQ

Jesus. That sounds like "Jump" for chrissakes"!

[Nitro Express]

Ozzy should have hired an accordion as well. What the fuck, throw in a keytar player for good measure.

[Jesus Christ]

Jesus. That sounds like "Jump" for chrissakes"!

Verily.....

Since this was 1983, perhaps this is where Edward got his inspiration to write a keyboard song.

It wasn't divine inspiration, that much I can promise you! :jesuslol:

[sadaist]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DUQRuF1r80



King Of The Hill

Hank Hill says to a Christian rock band....

"You aren't making Christianity better, you're just making rock & roll worse."

[Seshmeister]

1) If you have 4 buckets of shit and remove the buckets, what are you left with?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DUQRuF1r80

[Rowdyroddy]

My vote goes to Wicked Sanitation by the Stynch Mob.

[binnie]

I don't think 'Load' belongs on the list. Yes, it's a long way from Metallica of yore - but there are some deadly tunes on that disk.

I can think of many more woeful records than the top 10 there. 'Theatre of Pain' anyone? 'Stick It To Ya' by Slaughter? Almost anything by White Lion? The entire GWAR back catalogue? The more recent Linkin Park albums? The mid-period of Korn's career? The list of metal clunkers is a long one....

[Seshmeister]

Post-Empire Queensryche.


To be slightly more accurate, Post side A of Empire... :)

[saint]

Nah I think Vito is a far to good guitar player that any white lion album make the top 10, It´s somewhat cheesy here and there I know but.. If you could call Europe metal i´d say Out of this world

[sonrisa salvaje]

I think that is the issue. Most of the stuff on the list are at best hard rock, not heavy metal. Lets be fair. People bitch about Eddie Trunk's show being called That Metal Show because he has more hard rock guests on than anything. His argument is that most people see hard rock and heavy metal as basically the same genre so they are synonymous. It would appear his theory is supported by this list including hard rock bands. Anyway you look at it, i think there is more room for improvement in the hard rock realm than there is in the heavy metal realm. Lets face it, you have to really look hard to find clunkers from your Sabbaths, Purples, Maidens and Priests. On the other hand, your Bon Jovis and Poisons come a dime a dozen.

[Mr. Vengeance]

This list, for the most part, is bands that attained a level of metal stardom, and then put out a pure stinker, in the opinion of the writers. Outside of the metal world, is anyone going to know who Raven is? However to Raven fans, that album was a complete joke compared to their previous stuff. Like most lists, most people will disagree with most of it.

[Mr Badguy]

Fuckin' "Ballbreaker" by AC/DC.

Shite.

[Seshmeister]

Nah I think Vito is a far to good guitar player that any white lion album make the top 10, It´s somewhat cheesy here and there I know but.. If you could call Europe metal i´d say Out of this world

Who mentioned White Lion?

I was really disappointed with Big Game but it was redeemed a bit by the solo in Little Fighter which is worth the purchase price alone and the cover of Radar Love is good.

[Seshmeister]

Holy shit, just dug it out.



The first track would have been rejected by The Disney Club for being too limp wristed and wet. What were they thinking? This could make George Michaels anus clench up.


Great solo though...

[binnie]

Great solos can't save songs. White Lion were bloody awful.

However, in his next project - the faux grunge Freak of Nature - Mike Tramp truly excelled himself in the shitty music stakes....

[Seshmeister]

I really liked Pride apart from the horrific last song.

I think the problem was, and James Lomenzo seemed to agree with me when I drunkenly brought it up with him, was that Mike Tramp wasn't a rock fan at all he was a Scandinavian boy band guy. When that monstrosity 'When the children cry' went to #1 then he had all the ammo with record company backing to move the band into a world of gay.

[saint]

Who mentioned White Lion?

I was really disappointed with Big Game but it was redeemed a bit by the solo in Little Fighter which is worth the purchase price alone and the cover of Radar Love is good.

I think Pride is the better album, But Big Game has some good songs and/or song ideas. Many songs have parts that I like but also parts that stinks, Lets Get Crazy could have been good if Tramp could have found a decent melody, They are maybe a little mellow but there are some killer riffs, the guitar is loud in the mix and no Keyborads...

[Seshmeister]

You have a point with the melody thing, the music to stuff like Dirty Woman or If My Mind is Evil is fine and then along comes Tramp and shits all over it with some crap melodies. By this point his girly whiny singing sounded as though he was bursting into tears in between each take.

There is a fine line between stupid and clever.

[FORD]

I have to admit I still listen to "Pride" now and then. As far as Van Halen wannabe bands go, I'd still take them over Van Hagar, though Tramp was almost annoying as Mr. Cheddar himself.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgpkxAB3UrI

[BITEYOASS]

Let's not forget this monstrosity:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtfdcepWlQM

The demo version was better:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk_JtgHyNeE

[rockhead]

Sorry but ACDC have been coasting since flick of the switch.

[FORD]

Let's not forget this monstrosity:



Uhhh.... this isn't Spinal Tap....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpNFC7aONy0

STOP! In the name of all that which does not SUCK!!