Edward Van Halen: A Definitive Biography

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  • Va Beach VH Fan
    ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
    • Dec 2003
    • 17913

    Edward Van Halen: A Definitive Biography

    I haven't bought this, and honestly, don't believe that I will....

    From what I've read and listened to so far, there isn't very much information that the typical Classic Van Halen fan will learn....

    Anyway, I'll post it for shits and giggles....

    There's a Facebook page for it here.....

    Audio interview with the author:




    Here's some blurbs... Courtesy VHND:

    CHAPTER 14
    Public Relations

    The Diver Down tour, nicknamed the “Hide Your Sheep Tour,” was the biggest tour of its kind to date with over 170 tons of equipment required to put on the stage show. The tour didn’t kick off until July—much later in the year than on previous tours. On July 30, while in Louisville, Ed gave an hour-plus long interview yet again with Jas Obrecht who was still writing for Guitar Player at the time. The full, unedited audio tapes of those interviews reveal some astounding examples of where he was at the time. The tapes were actually stolen from Obrecht, the only such seizure in over 800 interviews he has conducted. Edward and Obrecht were both very unhappy that the full tapes made their way to the internet. Jas has successfully had the interview removed several times, but it simply will not go away, not in the 21st century.

    Via my correspondence with Obrecht, he has allowed me to use a bit of the bell that cannot be unrung. Part of the transcribed interview addressed growing problems with Dave with specificity in a way that was never publicly revealed for 25 years:

    EVH: “Cathedral,” I’ve been doing for, you know, over a year and I wanted to put it on a record. . . . It’s just that, uhhh, Dave said . . . “No more fucking guitar solos.” You know?
    Obrecht: He’s crazy.
    EVH: No, I mean, you know, he’s, he’s got—he’s on an ego trip. He has always been. . . . But uh, he just, you know, he just said, “Fuck this, man. No more guitar solos.” And uh, you know, Ted didn’t know that that’s the way Dave felt. And uh, so one day when Dave wasn’t there, I said, Ted, what do you think of this? And what do you think of that? You know, I played him “Little Guitars”, the intro, you know, the little flamenco sounding thing, and, uh, and “Cathedral” and he’s going like “God! Why the fuck didn’t you show me this earlier?!” And I explained to him, Dave just said, “Fuck the guitar hero shit, you know, we’re a band.” So Ted just said, you know, “Fuck Dave.” So we put it on anyway.

    That seems to match up with Valerie’s story of how Dave belittled him after winning his 1980 guitarist of the year award. If Dave was worried that Ed was going to be doing things on his own, in retrospect he had every right to fear just such a thing.

    Before they set out on tour, Edward received a late night phone call from famed producer Quincy Jones who was producing Thriller throughout most of 1982. Ed originally thought the call was a prank and hung up the phone. Eddie’s friend Steve Lukather was the principal guitarist on the track “Beat It.” At some point, the idea was born to bring in the all-star Edward Van Halen to add a unique touch to the hard-hitting Michael Jackson anthem. Jackson himself set out to write what he described as “the type of song that I would buy if I were to buy a rock song . . . That is how I approached it and I wanted the kids to really enjoy it—the school kids as well as the college kids.”
    Edward was originally given what was called a sketch of the song and suggested rearrangements that were made to suit the solo section. Ed was truly out of his element in the legendary Quincy’s studio—the quintessential opposite of the Van Halen approach. God only knows how many individual tracks there are on the final version of “Beat It.” Again, like so many times before, it has gone down in lore that the solo was done in one take or two takes or pieced together from two or three takes. Regardless, surely no one knew the impact Ed’s solo, all of thirty seconds, would have on the music world at large at the time it was cut. For the mean time though, Ed’s stepping out would remain in the closet for about a year. He told no one about his participation. At the time, Eddie claimed he simply thought nothing of it.

    Whose Band Is It?
    Throughout the tour during the fall of 1982, Edward absolutely felt that his control over the band was slipping permanently away to Dave. A photo shoot for Life magazine that September was proclaimed wife-free by David, and the married men complied. For Dave’s guidance, the spread was littered with images of sexually-charged excess and rock and roll mayhem. It was the standard Van Halen image that the band had started out with, except now half the guys were married, so the image did not necessarily match the reality of the situation. But Van Halen was an extremely valuable brand, and Dave knew exactly what the public wanted.

    However, Edward’s wife was not an unknown. She was an extremely high-profile celebrity at this point in time, and her good-girl image was being tarnished by the Van Halen image. Somewhere, this was not sitting well with someone, and Ed and Valerie were trotted out on Entertainment Tonight to salvage Valerie’s image by obviously softening Edward’s. The opening voice-over gave a clear indication of what was to follow: “The odds of Hollywood marriages lasting are pretty slim these days particularly considering the long working hours and time apart. . . . They seem to come from different worlds. So when these two teen idols decided a year ago to marry, many of their fans and friends said it wouldn’t work.” If ever there was a clearly obvious PR move, the interview featured Eddie and Valerie sitting in nearly matching white sweaters on a couch in front of a fireplace. Additionally, the interview featured an obviously fake cut of Edward actually flipping a pancake in the kitchen while Valerie awkwardly laughs along. They’re also shown cuddling with a set of tiny, white kittens. Stars go on Entertainment Tonight for public relations purposes, especially if the only angle is the state of their marriage. The interview featured the following transcribed exchanges:

    Interviewer: The two of you seem to be so different. Valerie, you’re kind of the goodie two shoes and the rock world is supposed to be so insane.
    Valerie: That’s it—you just said the key word—supposed to be. I mean I’ve seen more insane people in the TV world than I have in his world. I mean, you know.
    EVH: I’ll verify that.

    The interviewer suggested that their lifestyles were fairly incompatible and that reports were flying that their brief marriage was already on the rocks. Valerie was exasperated that some magazines and journalists went so far in an attempt to simply take down the seemingly happy couple. She stated that they were such normal people as far as they were concerned, which was a notion that she didn’t think others believed or could process.

    On another tabloid television program, PM Magazine, the couple again went on the PR defensive about their marriage in an interview with Maria Shriver. Valerie again expressed frustration that she felt forced to repeat over and over that they were a happily married couple. Their potential incompatibility was reinforced by referring to the couple as the “all-American Valerie” and the “all-electric Eddie.” Edward said that he was much happier being married and having a home than he was constantly living on the road with hotels as his permanent address.
    When Shriver noted the general belief that a “rock star’s life is groupies, drinking, late hours, and hard drugs,” the following exchange took place:

    Maria Shriver: But does it apply to Edward Van Halen?
    Edward: Take a guess? No.
    Maria Shriver: ‘No. None of it.’ . . .
    Edward: The late hours and drinking, maybe, yeah.
    Maria: But the groupies . . .
    Edward: Of course, not! I’m married. I wouldn’t do that.
    Valerie: I hope not.

    This was part of a calculated effort to soften Ed’s public image, but also part of an effort to portray Valerie not as a young 15-year-old sweetheart, but a 21-year-old married woman in order to placate the tabloid criticism of their “incompatibility.” Edward appeared edgy and defensive (and shown on television both smoking and drinking).
    Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

    "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

    "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth
  • Nickdfresh
    SUPER MODERATOR

    • Oct 2004
    • 49205

    #2
    I guess Dodd posts over at the Links, and took some heat for being too pro-Dave...

    Comment

    • Va Beach VH Fan
      ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
      • Dec 2003
      • 17913

      #3
      Originally posted by Nickdfresh
      I guess Dodd posts over at the Links, and took some heat for being too pro-Dave...
      LMFAO, shocking !!
      Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

      "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

      "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth

      Comment

      • Dr. Love
        ROTH ARMY SUPREME
        • Jan 2004
        • 7832

        #4
        spoiler alert: he's a giant douche
        I've got the cure you're thinkin' of.

        http://i.imgur.com/jBw4fCu.gif

        Comment

        • Hardrock69
          DIAMOND STATUS
          • Feb 2005
          • 21888

          #5
          There is absolutely nothing in that book that would be new to me. At least, anything I would be interested in. Hell, I have a VH bio, have seen enough fucking interviews and interviews both on TV and in print over the past 33 years that I pretty much know all I care to know.

          I hate the fucking media. The media is responsible for causing so much mayhem in people's personal lives by making up fucking bullshit LIES in the name of the almighty dollar.

          Fucking asshole motherfuckers.

          So nice of the dude to write a bio. An easy way for him to cash in.

          Comment

          • DLR Bridge
            ROCKSTAR

            • Mar 2011
            • 5470

            #6
            I'm about 80% through it. When the guy isn't quoting Sam's book, Val's book and EWS the VH Saga, he's pretty much telling personal stories of seeing them and how much he hates Sammy. I think I learned a tid bit or two from this book simply because my wife never came home with Val's book. Definitely not worth any more than the 3 bucks I shelled out for it. Ok, time to get a couple hours sleep before the kids try to convince me Santa arrived. Merry Christmas to one and all!

            Comment

            • Nitro Express
              DIAMOND STATUS
              • Aug 2004
              • 32798

              #7
              The True Biography of Eddie Van Halen.

              Chapter One

              Eddie got drunk.

              Chapter Two

              Eddie got drunk.

              Chapter Three

              Eddie got drunk.
              Vallerie bitched about it.

              Chapter Four

              Eddie got drunk.
              Dave left.

              Chapter Five

              Sammy joined the band
              We all got drunk.
              No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

              Comment

              • Va Beach VH Fan
                ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
                • Dec 2003
                • 17913

                #8
                Originally posted by DLR Bridge
                I'm about 80% through it. When the guy isn't quoting Sam's book, Val's book and EWS the VH Saga, he's pretty much telling personal stories of seeing them and how much he hates Sammy. I think I learned a tid bit or two from this book simply because my wife never came home with Val's book. Definitely not worth any more than the 3 bucks I shelled out for it. Ok, time to get a couple hours sleep before the kids try to convince me Santa arrived. Merry Christmas to one and all!
                Exactly what I thought it would be...

                It's basically what it would be if one of us wrote it, although a lot of you are some illiterate motherfuckers....
                Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

                "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

                "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth

                Comment

                • Va Beach VH Fan
                  ROTH ARMY FOUNDER
                  • Dec 2003
                  • 17913

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Nitro Express
                  The True Biography of Eddie Van Halen.

                  Chapter One

                  Eddie got drunk.

                  Chapter Two

                  Eddie got drunk.

                  Chapter Three

                  Eddie got drunk.
                  Vallerie bitched about it.

                  Chapter Four

                  Eddie got drunk.
                  Dave left.

                  Chapter Five

                  Sammy joined the band
                  We all got drunk.
                  That's basically the EVH version of Cheech and Chong in their Sister Mary Elephant skit....

                  STUDENT:
                  Okay. The first day, no, my vacation, what I did on my summer vacation, the first day on my vacation, I woke up.
                  Then, I went downtown to look for a job.
                  Then I hung out in front of the drugstore.
                  The second day on my summer vacation, I woke up.
                  Then I went downtown to look for a job.
                  Then I hung out in front of the drugstore.
                  The third day on my summer vacation, I woke up...

                  TEACHER:
                  Now that's fine, young man!

                  STUDENT :
                  ...Then I went downtown to look for a job...

                  TEACHER:
                  Now that's fine, young man!

                  STUDENT :
                  ...Then I got a job, keeping people from hanging around in front of the drugstore.
                  The fourth day on my...

                  TEACHER:
                  Young man? Young man? Young man!? SHUDD-UP!!!!!
                  Eat Us And Smile - The Originals

                  "I have a very belligerent enthusiasm or an enthusiastic belligerence. I’m an intellectual slut." - David Lee Roth

                  "We are part of the, not just the culture, but the geography. Van Halen music goes along with like fries with the burger." - David Lee Roth

                  Comment

                  • chefcraig
                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Apr 2004
                    • 12172

                    #10
                    Sister Mary Elephant: Billy, whatever you have in your mouth, swallow it immediately.
                    Billy: Uhhh, thanks a lot, sister!
                    Classmate: Hey Billy, swallow these too, man.









                    “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                    ― Stephen Hawking

                    Comment

                    • Hardrock69
                      DIAMOND STATUS
                      • Feb 2005
                      • 21888

                      #11
                      LMFAO! I was just telling a guy the other day about Cheech and Chong's albums. He had no idea they released 5 or 6 albums before they even made their first movie. Once I recited some stuff to him, like The Adventures Of Pedro & Man, and Sgt. Stadanko, he was VERY interested in tracking the albums down.

                      Comment

                      • Hardrock69
                        DIAMOND STATUS
                        • Feb 2005
                        • 21888

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Va Beach VH Fan
                        Exactly what I thought it would be...

                        It's basically what it would be if one of us wrote it, although a lot of you are some illiterate motherfuckers....

                        Comment

                        • Diamondjimi
                          DIAMOND STATUS
                          • May 2004
                          • 12086

                          #13
                          Anyone interested in reading the book you can find it in it's entirety >>>>>> HERE

                          Trolls take heed...LOG OUT & FUCK OFF!!!

                          Comment

                          • Terry
                            TOASTMASTER GENERAL
                            • Jan 2004
                            • 11962

                            #14
                            It looks like it's gonna be along the lines of that Everybody Wants Some book, in that it's a cut-and-paste of 30+ years worth of various print and television interviews...the thing about these type of books is that for really hardcore fans of the band, there is VERY little one can produce using such a patchwork method that we haven't already read...almost certainly nothing produced that is gonna be worth $20 to $30 bucks, unless someone is a diehard Eddie grunt completist.

                            One of the best rock bios I've ever read is by a guy named Tony Fletcher. The book is about Keith Moon. It was called 'Moon' when it was released in the US. It wasn't just an endless series of past magazine article snippets cobbled together, nor did it use the contrived gimmick of the author writing in an invented first person voice of their main subject. THAT Moon book is my benchmark for all other rock bios, and this new EVH book doesn't pass the initial smell test.
                            Scramby eggs and bacon.

                            Comment

                            • Dutchman063
                              Roth Army Recruit
                              • Dec 2011
                              • 7

                              #15
                              Diamonjimi very cool link, and thanks for posting it, but they leave out some pretty big chunks of pages throughout the book

                              Comment

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