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Sad Sammy - A screenplay by me
The Dave/Sam debate was never a problem for me. I've always been a Dave guy. I really liked about 80% of the Sammy stuff too but I never really considered them Van Halen. They were a totally different band with a totally different sound so there was no conflict for me. FWIW, I listened to the Cherone CD last week for the first time and alternated between 'this sucks' and 'its not Van Halen but I could listen to that from another group'.
Anyways, I was thrilled when Dave came back and never had a problem with Sammy... until he started the badmouthing and crying like a jilted lover. That kinda irritated me. I find it funny that there is no talk since ADKOT released.
So, just for fun, I have made my first attempt at a screenplay. I hope you enjoy it
Feb. 7, 2012
The scene: The media room in Sammy Hagar's house. Sammy is hanging out with a couple pals, YesMan1 and YesMan2. They are drinking tequila and eating pizza rolls like popcorn. His dog is pissin' on the corner of the bar.
Sammy is on the phone with a buddy.
"Yeah, man, come on over. We're all gonna listen to the new CD from the old band. Should be funny as hell," laughs Sammy.
Sam hangs up laughing harder and wiping spittle from his chin. He turns to YM2.
"Really, man, this thing is going to be a joke. They are just re-doing a bunch of old crappy demos. Pretty weak, right?" he giggles.
"Yeah, Red, you're right!," chortles YM2.
"I mean, those guys are played out. Ed's lost his skills and Roth has been a joke for years," Sam continued.
"Yeah! But you're going in the opposite direction, bud. You got your chickenshit together!" YM1 threw in.
Just then the door opens and love comes walkin' in. Two long past their prime groupie chicks that smell of stale cigarette smoke and sardines. One of them tosses the new Van Halen CD, "A Different Kind of Truth", onto the counter.
"Sammy, baby," croaks the lady, "here is that CD you wanted me to pick up. I still don't know why you couldn't just get it yourself."
"Because I can't be seen buying anything like that!" snaps Sam.
Sammy eagerly rips off the cellophane and the annoying clear label that seals the case shut. He bounces over to the sound system and puts in the disc.
"Everyone come on, check this shit out!", he screams with a big grin on his face.
The gang plops themselves on the sofa and various bean bags. Out of the speakers comes the opening track, 'Tattoo'.
"Aaaahahaha, this is the one I heard online," Sam exhorts. "TATTOO TATTOO....hahahaha. Da plane, Da plane!! Lame, isn't it?"
"I kinda like it," said lady #1.
"Me too," added lady #2.
Sam looks annoyed. "Skip this one!"
YM1 picks up the remote and hits skip.
"Oh this is 'She's The Woman'. One of those damn demos that wasn't good enough before," grumbled Sam.
"Yeah but it sounds pretty good, doesn't it?" asked YM1. "I think it kinda kicks ass."
"But its old and... skip this one!" yelled Sam. He grabs the remote from YM1 and changes to the next song. And the next song. And the next song. Blood and Fire. Honeybabysweetiedoll. The Trouble With Never.
With each new song Sam sinks further into the big, cushy, booze stained couch. His pals are playing air guitar and air drums. The now drunk chicks dance in the smoke filled corner of the room.
Stay Frosty.
Sam gulps deeply and stares in shock. "Oh shit," he says under his breath.
Dave and the boys own the room now.
This beats workin’ baby.
This beats workin’ baby.
This beats workin’ baby ‘cause I’m red hot baby like it or not.
The disc ends and there is silence in the room. One of the chicks is now pissin' on the corner of the bar. The dog is finishing off the bowl of pizza rolls.
"Sam? Sam?" asks YM2, looking for some kind of life out of the guy buried in the sofa.
No response.
YM1 speaks up, tired of waiting, "Let's listen to it again."
Sam stands up, throws the remote at the wall and leaves the room.
ADKOT starts up again and the party is on.
Life as Sam knew it would never be the same.
Anyways, I was thrilled when Dave came back and never had a problem with Sammy... until he started the badmouthing and crying like a jilted lover. That kinda irritated me. I find it funny that there is no talk since ADKOT released.
So, just for fun, I have made my first attempt at a screenplay. I hope you enjoy it
Feb. 7, 2012
The scene: The media room in Sammy Hagar's house. Sammy is hanging out with a couple pals, YesMan1 and YesMan2. They are drinking tequila and eating pizza rolls like popcorn. His dog is pissin' on the corner of the bar.
Sammy is on the phone with a buddy.
"Yeah, man, come on over. We're all gonna listen to the new CD from the old band. Should be funny as hell," laughs Sammy.
Sam hangs up laughing harder and wiping spittle from his chin. He turns to YM2.
"Really, man, this thing is going to be a joke. They are just re-doing a bunch of old crappy demos. Pretty weak, right?" he giggles.
"Yeah, Red, you're right!," chortles YM2.
"I mean, those guys are played out. Ed's lost his skills and Roth has been a joke for years," Sam continued.
"Yeah! But you're going in the opposite direction, bud. You got your chickenshit together!" YM1 threw in.
Just then the door opens and love comes walkin' in. Two long past their prime groupie chicks that smell of stale cigarette smoke and sardines. One of them tosses the new Van Halen CD, "A Different Kind of Truth", onto the counter.
"Sammy, baby," croaks the lady, "here is that CD you wanted me to pick up. I still don't know why you couldn't just get it yourself."
"Because I can't be seen buying anything like that!" snaps Sam.
Sammy eagerly rips off the cellophane and the annoying clear label that seals the case shut. He bounces over to the sound system and puts in the disc.
"Everyone come on, check this shit out!", he screams with a big grin on his face.
The gang plops themselves on the sofa and various bean bags. Out of the speakers comes the opening track, 'Tattoo'.
"Aaaahahaha, this is the one I heard online," Sam exhorts. "TATTOO TATTOO....hahahaha. Da plane, Da plane!! Lame, isn't it?"
"I kinda like it," said lady #1.
"Me too," added lady #2.
Sam looks annoyed. "Skip this one!"
YM1 picks up the remote and hits skip.
"Oh this is 'She's The Woman'. One of those damn demos that wasn't good enough before," grumbled Sam.
"Yeah but it sounds pretty good, doesn't it?" asked YM1. "I think it kinda kicks ass."
"But its old and... skip this one!" yelled Sam. He grabs the remote from YM1 and changes to the next song. And the next song. And the next song. Blood and Fire. Honeybabysweetiedoll. The Trouble With Never.
With each new song Sam sinks further into the big, cushy, booze stained couch. His pals are playing air guitar and air drums. The now drunk chicks dance in the smoke filled corner of the room.
Stay Frosty.
Sam gulps deeply and stares in shock. "Oh shit," he says under his breath.
Dave and the boys own the room now.
This beats workin’ baby.
This beats workin’ baby.
This beats workin’ baby ‘cause I’m red hot baby like it or not.
The disc ends and there is silence in the room. One of the chicks is now pissin' on the corner of the bar. The dog is finishing off the bowl of pizza rolls.
"Sam? Sam?" asks YM2, looking for some kind of life out of the guy buried in the sofa.
No response.
YM1 speaks up, tired of waiting, "Let's listen to it again."
Sam stands up, throws the remote at the wall and leaves the room.
ADKOT starts up again and the party is on.
Life as Sam knew it would never be the same.
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