Obama: 'Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness'

[Hardrock69]

The president calls for his ultraliberal minions to join him in the godless slaughter of Jesus Christ and the advancement of eternal sin.
http://i46.tinypic.com/mhujjo.jpg




CHARLOTTE, NC—With the savage roar of the heathen Democratic horde rising all around him, President Barack Obama delivered an incendiary speech to close his party’s national convention Thursday night, commanding the ultraprogressive minions in attendance to help him “destroy Jesus and usher in a new age of liberal darkness that shall reign o’er the earth for a thousand years.”

The thunderous 45-minute address—during which the president argued for a second term so that he could “finally kill Jesus once and for all, as well as all those who worship him”—was well received by the frenzied, wild-eyed audience, whose piercing chants of “Four more years!” and “Slaughter the believers!” echoed throughout the Time Warner Cable Arena.

“My fellow Americans and godless infidels, I command you to join me as we cast an endless pall of far-left evil across the hills and valleys of our nation!” Obama bellowed from the stage, as thousands in attendance moaned in compliance and gyrated their hips and groins in a lascivious dance. “Together, as a barbarian people forged by the wicked flames of irreligiosity and united by visions of a liberal dystopia, we will rise up as one to scorch the earth with boundless amorality.”

“The streets shall run red with the blood of forced sodomy, performed daily upon every American man, woman, and child!” the commander-in-chief shouted, froth forming around his mouth as the crowd threw hundreds of aborted fetuses onto the stage. “Die, Christians, die!”

Slamming his fists on the lectern until his hands began to bleed, Obama proceeded to lay out a “three-point plan of sin and lechery” for his second term. If reelected, the president said, he would begin by banning organized religion entirely—starting with Christianity—and burning all churches to the ground, preferably “with their wretched, Jesus-loving congregants still huddled inside like rats.”

As members of the audience violently tugged at their genitals and howled like sex-starved, atheist wolves, Obama stated that his administration would then seek to make free, taxpayer-funded abortions legal at any stage of pregnancy, even up to one full year after birth, in order to supply his newly created “federal stem-cell harvesting plants” with raw materials.

In addition, the cackling president vowed to “end traditional marriage as we know it” by passing legislation that would allow only homosexuals to raise children, a longtime Democratic policy goal.

“A glorious new age of sinister, unconstrained liberalism is dawning! Oh, dear Satan, I can feel it coursing through my veins at this very moment!” shrieked Obama, ripping off his shirt to reveal an ornate tattoo of a pentagram, with a different homosexual act positioned at each of the star’s five points. “Agnosticism, contempt for human life, and radical sexual experimentation shall rule the day! Any good, virtuous, family-values-oriented Christian Americans who seek to topple our magnificent liberal kingdom of eternal darkness will be powerless to stop us! We will crush them!”

Added Obama, “Thank you, may Satan reward you all, and may God tremble in fear at the United States of America!”

The president was then handed an unbaptized, orphaned newborn baby drenched in the blood of 666 slaughtered Christians, which he handed over to its new, gleefully squealing homosexual parents.







Link (http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-help-us-destroy-jesus-and-start-a-new-age-of,29478/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:quote:default)

[FORD]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS53I-k_T4o

[hambon4lif]

Brilliant writing!! Absolutely fucking brilliant!:thumb:

So many things can be pulled from here to make some badass lyrics.



CHARLOTTE, NC—With the savage roar of the heathen Democratic horde rising all around him, President Barack Obama delivered an incendiary speech to close his party’s national convention Thursday night, commanding the ultraprogressive minions in attendance to help him “destroy Jesus and usher in a new age of liberal darkness that shall reign o’er the earth for a thousand years.”

The thunderous 45-minute address—during which the president argued for a second term so that he could “finally kill Jesus once and for all, as well as all those who worship him”—was well received by the frenzied, wild-eyed audience, whose piercing chants of “Four more years!” and “Slaughter the believers!” echoed throughout the Time Warner Cable Arena.

“My fellow Americans and godless infidels, I command you to join me as we cast an endless pall of far-left evil across the hills and valleys of our nation!” Obama bellowed from the stage, as thousands in attendance moaned in compliance and gyrated their hips and groins in a lascivious dance. “Together, as a barbarian people forged by the wicked flames of irreligiosity and united by visions of a liberal dystopia, we will rise up as one to scorch the earth with boundless amorality.”

“The streets shall run red with the blood of forced sodomy, performed daily upon every American man, woman, and child!” the commander-in-chief shouted, froth forming around his mouth as the crowd threw hundreds of aborted fetuses onto the stage. “Die, Christians, die!”

Slamming his fists on the lectern until his hands began to bleed, Obama proceeded to lay out a “three-point plan of sin and lechery” for his second term. If reelected, the president said, he would begin by banning organized religion entirely—starting with Christianity—and burning all churches to the ground, preferably “with their wretched, Jesus-loving congregants still huddled inside like rats.”

As members of the audience violently tugged at their genitals and howled like sex-starved, atheist wolves, Obama stated that his administration would then seek to make free, taxpayer-funded abortions legal at any stage of pregnancy, even up to one full year after birth, in order to supply his newly created “federal stem-cell harvesting plants” with raw materials.

In addition, the cackling president vowed to “end traditional marriage as we know it” by passing legislation that would allow only homosexuals to raise children, a longtime Democratic policy goal.

“A glorious new age of sinister, unconstrained liberalism is dawning! Oh, dear Satan, I can feel it coursing through my veins at this very moment!” shrieked Obama, ripping off his shirt to reveal an ornate tattoo of a pentagram, with a different homosexual act positioned at each of the star’s five points. “Agnosticism, contempt for human life, and radical sexual experimentation shall rule the day! Any good, virtuous, family-values-oriented Christian Americans who seek to topple our magnificent liberal kingdom of eternal darkness will be powerless to stop us! We will crush them!”

Added Obama, “Thank you, may Satan reward you all, and may God tremble in fear at the United States of America!”

The president was then handed an unbaptized, orphaned newborn baby drenched in the blood of 666 slaughtered Christians, which he handed over to its new, gleefully squealing homosexual parents.

[jhale667]

Hilarity...but you know some Teahadist somewhere is going to see this, not knowing what the Onion is - and exclaim "AH KNEW IT!!" :lol:

[ELVIS]

Liberal darkness is true enough...


Hey Taco, that can be your new band name !!

Liberal Darkness

Coming to an Occupy site near you!


:killer:

[Hardrock69]

Feel free to spread this around to all the Republican assholes.

Most of them would not have watched the DNC so how would they know what he said? :lmao:

[ELVIS]

Nobody watched it...

[Hardrock69]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS53I-k_T4o

:lmao:

[ELVIS]

It's hate you sate...

Which sate means to satisfy an appetite...

So, he hate's to satisfy an appetite...

In reverse...

[jhale667]

:rolleyes:

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/223800_343051975784271_2118552307_n.jpg

[ELVIS]

I think that was meant to be against liberals like you, Taco...

[jhale667]

Nobody watched it...

Pretty sure I heard today that Obama's speech beat your favorite show "Here comes Honey Boo-Boo" or whatever-the-fuck it's called in the ratings, unlike Wrongey's. :biggrin:

[Nitro Express]

Feel free to spread this around to all the Republican assholes.

Most of them would not have watched the DNC so how would they know what he said? :lmao:

Because Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity watch the DNC for material for the next days show. Without Democrats Rush and Sean would be out of work. Nothing to talk about. I mean Bill Clinton built the Rush Limbaugh show. Rush would have never been able to have done it with a Republican in office. I mean AM radio was dying in the early 90's and it was Rush Limbaugh and maybe Art Bell who brought the format back. Without Clinton in office AM radio would have died. LOL!

[FORD]

AM radio pretty much IS dead, since 90% of it is owned by three companies (The Bain Capital owned/former BCE funded Clear Channel, CBS, and Entercom) and most of their affiliates are right wing hate radio..

Air America and Nova M didn't fail because people didn't want to hear them. They failed because the radio market was already saturated with right wing corporate ownership. Well, some of the folks involved in those networks are back again. But this time, they're avoiding the corporate radio model altogether and taking the content directly to your mobile devices. (But you can listen on your desktop too)

http://progressivevoices.com/

[Nitro Express]

Maybe on AM radio but right now most the television media are biased towards the Democrats. So yeah there is bias but it's not all right wing bias. Thomas Jefferson once said for the country to remain free the press and the educational system had to be owned and managed at the local level. I think he was right. I ran across a YouTube of David Rockefeller thanking various media companies for their cooperation for the past 40 years and that their plan for the world would have been impossible without the media cooperation. I remember in the mid 1980's watching conglomerates buy up locally owned newspapers, radio, and Television stations. Mr. Rockefeller's talk kind of explained on why that was.

[FORD]

The only TV networks with a "Democratic" bias are Current TV and MSNBC between 3 and 8 PM. And even those are only "Democratic" in the sense of the current so called "mainstream" DLC false democrats who are actually Nixon style Republicans. (And I don't bother watching either of these anymore since they both shit all over Keith Olbermann)

The only actual Liberal network on TV is RT. Which ironically is owned by Russians. Which means there is NO network actually based in the US which is Liberal :(

[Nitro Express]

I would say NBC as a whole pretty much leans towards the Democrats. Just look at the two conventions. The Democrat convention got way more mainstream television coverage than the Republican convention did. It boils down to all the media is owned by very few people now and some favor the Democrat Party and others favor the Republican Party. The media networks they own reflect that bias. There really is no real journalism anymore that follows the Associated Press handbook. You know where you are not supposed to let your own political views affect your story and it's supposed to be factually based on Who, What, Where, Why, and How. It's not rocket science. Now most people in the business are paid off whores with a big pimp owning the network. It's become so third world.

[FORD]

The Associated Press is right wing itself these days. AM 1090 (the alleged "Liberal" radio station up here) runs the AP radio newscasts on the hour, and they are just dripping with right wing bias. They have this one asshole newsreader who refferred to Barry as "Osama" more than once in 2008 and now calls him "President UBAMA"

Just like Jerksmear does. Hell, maybe it's him.

[jhale667]

C'mon.... Jerksmear couldn't do a radio show with a 64-pack of crayolas... ;)

[FORD]

I doubt jerksmear has ever owned a 64 pack of Crayolas. The basic 8 pack was good enough for him, because all he ever used was the white one.

[motherchicken]

Liberal darkness is true enough...


Hey Taco, that can be your new band name !!

Liberal Darkness

Coming to an Occupy site near you!


:killer:
It's not as clever as "Greasy Haired Varmints" but it's not bad.

[jhale667]

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/Yosemite_Sam_and_Daffy_Duck_image.jpg

[Hardrock69]

I ripped the audio from that video about Obama saying "Thank you Satan" when you play it backwards just to check it out.

Yes. It almost does sound like it. So we need to spread it around so the Tea Partiers will go batshit crazy yelling about how Obama is a Satanist.

Anything to help expose the Retardlicans as the idiots they are. :lol:

[motherchicken]

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/Yosemite_Sam_and_Daffy_Duck_image.jpg
Yosemite Sam is the man!!! Even when he lost he looked good doing it.

[Hardrock69]

Funny. When it was Daffy vs. Bugs, Bugs Bunny would always win. When it was Daffy vs. Yosemite Sam, Daffy would always win.

So it seems Bugs was tops, Daffy next in line, and Yosemite Sam was the bottom feeder, lol.

[vandeleur]

Funny. When it was Daffy vs. Bugs, Bugs Bunny would always win. When it was Daffy vs. Yosemite Sam, Daffy would always win.

So it seems Bugs was tops, Daffy next in line, and Yosemite Sam was the bottom feeder, lol.

Man these threads can turn on a sixpence :D

[Hardrock69]

Very true!

[jhale667]

Yosemite Sam is the man!!! Even when he lost he looked good doing it.

Uh, newsflash - he always loses....


http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h217/jhale667/WFRR_0198.jpg

[Va Beach VH Fan]

While MSNBC obviously leans left, they have plenty of conservative commentators....

Morning Joe is on every morning and hosted by a former Republican congressman (IMO Mika is simply eye candy, Joe drowns her out).....

And every talk show they have regularly has conservative guests, including paid contributors Steve Schmidt and Michael Steele....

How many times does FOX have liberal guests? Sometimes, sure, but definitely not as often as compared to MSNBC's conservative guests.... To be honest, until last night I didn't even know Alan Colmes still worked at FOX....

[BITEYOASS]

Oh, I thought this was a thread about The Darkness! :popcorn:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiDpiFoA3DI

[Nickdfresh]

The Onion has some funny shit:


Guantánamo Prisoners Released Into Cheering DNC Crowd

September 6, 2012 | ISSUE 48•36

CHARLOTTE, NC—Drawing thunderous applause and roars of approval from the 20,000 Democrats in attendance, top party officials released all 168 remaining detainees from the Guantánamo Bay detention facility into the Time Warner Cable Arena on Thursday. “Are you ready to rectify one of the gravest moral failings and grossest miscarriages of justice in American history?” Democratic National Committee chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz shouted from the convention podium before lifting a curtain to reveal dozens of enemy combatants, all of whom immediately sprinted into the crowd of wildly cheering liberals and out the facility’s exits. “Justice is finally served!” At press time, the FBI was responding to a report of a possible dirty-bomb detonation in the immediate Charlotte, NC area

Obama's 19-Year-Old Son Makes Rare Appearance At DNC (http://www.theonion.com/articles/obamas-19yearold-son-makes-rare-appearance-at-dnc,29458/)
http://o.onionstatic.com/images/17/17943/16x9/635.jpg?7566

:)

[ThrillsNSpills]

C'mon.... Jerksmear couldn't do a radio show with a 64-pack of crayolas... ;)



He saved those to put on his KISS makeup.

[hambon4lif]

:lmao:

[BigBadBrian]

How many times does FOX have liberal guests? Sometimes, sure, but definitely not as often as compared to MSNBC's conservative guests.... To be honest, until last night I didn't even know Alan Colmes still worked at FOX....

While some liberal nutjobs are simply too cowardly to appear on a network where they might be challenged instead of getting a slobber-knocker (like David Axelrod), Stephanie Cutter, Obama's Deputy Campaign Manager, appears regularly. So does Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson used to (until JJ Jr. started going batshit crazy - he should resign, but that's for another thread), Kirsten Powers (nice eye-candy but little else), Juan Williams, and Bob Beckel are also regulars, among others.

[FORD]

While some liberal nutjobs are simply too cowardly to appear on a network where they might be challenged instead of getting a slobber-knocker (like David Axelrod), Stephanie Cutter, Obama's Deputy Campaign Manager, appears regularly. So does Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson used to (until JJ Jr. started going batshit crazy - he should resign, but that's for another thread), Kirsten Powers (nice eye-candy but little else), Juan Williams, and Bob Beckel are also regulars, among others.

I think you have that backwards....

FAUX won't put Democrats on the air who WILL challenge their bullshit, which is why they stick to the Colmes and Beckel types. Every once in a while they used to put someone like Thom Hartmann, Stephanie Miller, and probably even Mike Malloy once or twice in a debate against some right winger, and of course, the right winger got their ass kicked. And you just can't have that on FAUX. So they don't get invited anymore.

Oddly enough, Alan Colmes actually has more of a backbone on his radio show, which I used to listen to occasionally when I had XM radio. I don't think he realizes that he doesn't have to play Hannity's flunkie on TV anymore.