Kristy's 2013 NFL Prediction/Situation Thread [Archive]

Kristy

05-23-2013, 01:11 PM

I'll add more to this when time allows. So here's what's happen in the 2013 NFL season:

The Chicago Bears
http://1.media.sportspickle.cvcdn.com/90/60/e7e841d909912bc33184604f5699f57b-little-packers-girl-is-very-mean-to-jay-cutler.jpg

Bear fans can expect another dismal season with Cuntler at the helm. Now with Brian Urlacher gone and that creepy looking Marc Trestman mapping out the plays 'Da Bears' will go a 5 and 11 and Cuntler will outdo his previous NFL interception record; get hurt in late October, whine like the little bitch he his and soon will join Mr. Urlacher in 2014.

Dallas Cowboys

http://www.gannett-cdn.com/media/USATODAY/USATODAY/2013/05/22/1369266588000-05-22-2013-Romo-Jones-1305221950_4_3_rx404_c534x401.jpg?87cc7ae5b5e3d133 be9f113f907a13faa9f8741e

Look for it to be a tragic, tragic, just gawd-awful season for the Cowboys in 2013 with Tony Romeo Homo killing himself with a bullet to the face. Jones, naturally, will replace him in a heartbeat with no problems whatsoever. The Cowboys have a tough schedule in 2013 playing The Giants, Packers and Saints upon which they'll go 4 and 12.

Miami Dolphins

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/fi/4/4f/Miami_Dolphins_logo.png

Who?

Philadelphia Eagles

http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/41592517/Philadelphia+Eagles+briandawkinsdenverbroncos.jpg

If there is one team in the entire NFL I'll never understand it's the Philadelphia Eagles. Lodsa of top draft picks, tremendous athletes who look good on paper and still they sucked mouse balls. My best guess Reid was to blame for a lot of this team's failures. Chip Kelly? Wet behind the ears college coaches rarely do well in the NFL so expect Philadelphia to give you nothing but more mediocre football in 2013. 3 and 13 for the year. So yeah, fuck them. And fuck you for ever liking them.

San Diego Chargers

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/multimedia/photo_gallery/1106/out-of-fortunate-50-2011/images/philip-rivers-opy6-27117.jpg

Somebody (and it has to be soon) really needs to stick the fork up Philip Rivers ass or, perhaps pull out and show it to him because the guy is done. Rivers is the problem in San Diego. Don't tell me otherwise. Shame, really because Rivers had so much potential but let his dick suckling ego get the best of him. If the Texans defense (such as it is) doesn't fuck him up this year, the Raiders will. Look for Rivers to complain a lot in 2013 (like he does every year) throw temper tantrums on the field and be a asshole to sideline interviews. 8 and 8 for the year and no wildcard birth. Rivers must die.

Kristy

05-23-2013, 03:25 PM

Indianapolis Colts
http://www.freewebs.com/godzilla14freak/godzilla%201964.bmp

Don't fuck with the Luck. Not only will the Colts go 16-0 this season they will do so without grace. Luck will surgically disseminate defenses, destroy stadiums, and burn cities to the ground. Then he will come to your house and rape your wife and daughter while punching you in the face. We're not talking no more Mr Nice Guy Alice Cooper-ish here, no we're talking Charles Manson blowing Mao Tse Tung with a ragin' hard on.

Kristy

05-23-2013, 03:56 PM

Pittsburgh Steelers

http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0912/date-rape-date-rape-drunk-chick-demotivational-poster-1259693227.jpg

Once again, Cocksinbreathburger will be running the show and once again, you can expect the same performance: great passes but a lot of shitty ones in between and a whole lot of fucks ups. Cocksinbrethburger along with his token black coach Mike Tomlin shall see some improvement on offense but just don't expect much elsewhere. A so-so 10 and 6 season winning ugly in more than half of them.

Arizona Cardinals
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_LXHeVNvpXzQ/S8PNXzOHfVI/AAAAAAAAACw/6FZkBy77qIE/s320/dog+shit.jpg

By far the worst team in the NFL. Arizona is the St Jude cancer victim you see on late night cheap TV with no hope and no chance of recovery. Carson Palmer can throw worth a monkey ass under pressure and Bruce Arians can't navigate around a "gridiron" if Larry Fitzgerald was fucking him with a lenstatic compass. Arizona is why so much of the NFL sucks. 2 and 14 and a death sentence.

Oakland Raiders

http://ghettoclassic.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/white20trash20survival20kit-772407.jpg

By far the most comical team in the NFL. Only they're not at all funny. The Raiders still and always will be the epitome of suck not in the NFL but in everything they do. Ex Bronco Dennis Allen will be the latest sacrifice to run that shithole team into the ground to a 5 and 11 record and leave them to the embarrassment of NFL fans. R.I.P. Al, you have nothing to worry about.

Fairwrning

05-23-2013, 10:50 PM

This may be my favorite thread...Particularly the Steelers assessment...welcome back Kristy..ya little sweetie.

Kristy

05-23-2013, 11:59 PM

Green Bay Packers
http://www.co.prince-edward.va.us/images/shopping_Aaron%27s%20Rents.jpg

No other player in the NFL has a bigger penis than Aaron Rodgers. Yeah I know the Packers are America's original blue collar team but I still fucking hate them! Why? It's all the hype and bullshit that surrounds this team and...they are from Wisconsin. Fuck Wisconsin. Say, besides Texas, there are is no other state in the Union that has more retards and social fuck ups than Wisconsin. Now, Rodgers and his huge penis will once again rise to the top in 2013 giving white collar season ticket holders a 13 and 3 offering.

New England Patriots

http://images.idiva.com/media/photogallery/2013/Mar/how_to_move_on_after_a_failed_marriage5_600x450.jp g

Look for the Brady/Bell-On-A-Dick marriage to fall apart in 2013. Brady is beyond burnt out and Bell-On-A-Dick is well, a dick. Between the lawyers, fat ass supermodels in $600 designer jeans and the family dog, the Patriots will continue to piss off every other team in the NFL by winning big. But like all popular marriages that end look for a lot of press, headaches and petty bitching. 12 and 4 with the supermodel going to Bell-On-A-Dick. The dog to Brady

New York Giants
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vPjge-JfIp4/UIcXcY1UZtI/AAAAAAAAE28/cDSKe6xvoC0/s1600/super-retard.jpg

Elisa Manning, The younger more effeminate, slightly less retarded bother of Faketon, will once again play the role of the molested boyscout of aging Tom Coughing. Elisa doesn't like anal sex so he will have to impress Uncle Tommy by taking risks. Elisa, therefore, will throw the god damn ball anywhere. And I do mean anywhere. Does not matter if there is a receiver in the area or that receiver plays on the same team as Elisa. Look for some solid entertainment from The Giants that no other team in the NFL can possibly deliver. 11 and 5 with a Jerry Sandusky blessing.

Igosplut

05-24-2013, 12:06 AM

Elaborate and funny...

Kristy

05-24-2013, 12:21 AM

Seattle Seahawks

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSKT8VOE-VIvOBujlQHHjdIvj5EhuawHge7Pv-0P5FKnRJiTtSl

Oh, the humanity! Seattle won't be as surprising or talented as years past due you can only sell your soul once. Pete Carrol a.k.a Satan's lapdog in his Black Mass rituals will take the Seahawks to a 10 and 6 sacrifice. Other than that, expect other teams to laugh at their ridiculous neon gangrene infected uniforms (and matching shoes).

Tennessee Titans

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRLVAKoD7GKkyVa2AWEBeVVI9bcEOC6J FnliazCFR_J_qTBhB_p

Gawd knows I hate shitty football. For football is a man's sport where violence and blood and mud mix like Rohypnol in Lyndsey's Lohan's elephant eared slimy vagina. No team in the history of the NFL has given more drama than the Tennessean Titans. Why if it wasn't for Vince Young no emo kid would ever watch a NFL game. While I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not, the Titans with now porn star model/biggest Smiths fan Jake Locker will cry themselves into a 3 and 13 suckfest of Prozac-induced therapy for their remaining suicidal fans.

Kristy

05-24-2013, 12:43 AM

Minnesota Vikings
http://www.cartoonspot.net/looney-tunes/picture/speedy-gonzales-3.jpg

I see the Vikings and want to cry. After the Brett Farve fiasco the Vikings have little left to offer other than a overpaid yet highly impressive running back who must have made the shittiest career choice back in 2010. Not much else can be said about the Vikings. They are more boring than attending your grandmother's funeral. Maybe a player will be arrested for a wife beating/DUI/gun crime this season which will far more exciting than their record which I can't be bothered with.

Houston Texans

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/11/04/Ennio_051104102053503_wideweb__300x375.jpg

Can you say "bad ass"? Yeah? Cool. The Texas almost have everything they need to rule the AFC in 2013. Their Achilles heel? Head coach Gary "The Grey" Pubiack who doesn't know how to orchestrate a NFL playoff game. Matt Schaub is possibly the best QB in the league right now. Even with that said, you wouldn't want to fuck him much less bring him home to meet your mother. 15 and 1. Bad ass, indeed.

TFM_Dale

05-24-2013, 12:43 AM

Pretty fucking funny Kristy, two thumbs up!

Kristy

05-24-2013, 01:05 AM

Detroit Lions

http://davesdominion.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/child-bully.jpg

Detroit is Rodger Goodell's all-time fav team. Of course he knows they suck (they're from Detroit for fuck's sake). Detroit doesn't want to score points or play by the rules. They could care less about either. What Detroit wants in 2013 is your lunch money, to give your a wedgie and stuff your ego into a locker. With Ndamukong "Donkey Kong" Peggy Sue and his merry gang of Lion marauders, Kong Boy will not only write bad things about you on your Facebook page, he'll step on your face only to protest that he is the real victim here. Goodell loves bullies because he is one himself and you know he is secretly rooting for the Lions to dish out a lot of first down purple nurples and wet willies. 7 and 9 but will threaten you with a 9 and 7. So watch your ass.

Kristy

05-24-2013, 01:29 AM

New Orleans Saints

http://i2.wp.com/www.thenewportbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Nancy-Kerrigan-Tanya-Harding-e1357535603776.jpeg?resize=610%2C400

Okay, so Sean Payton is back as are the rest of his mafia hitman conspirators. Problem is, like San Diego's dilemma, they have Drew Breeeeezeeee who is more unpredictable than Alex Jones on Piers Morgan. And what's more unpredictable than that is the rest of the Saints offense so they drafted and signed rookies to sidestep last years embarrassment with this year's one. Payton is one crafty mutha. Maybe, just maybe they'll pull out a 8 and 8 this year but I wouldn't hold my breath that they are capable of doing much else.

Kristy

05-25-2013, 11:31 PM

Saint Louis Rams

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopost/data/2558/Mid1018.jpg

The Saint Louis Rams are the Sue Heck of the NFL. They just keep on trying after other teams have failed to notice them - not sure if they still are in the NFL. So what did they do? Drafted a wide receiver for a Sam Bradford to have a friend he can throw to in the 2013 season so he wouldn't look so stupid on TV (it's lonely when your the ram QB these days). They'll still be the laughing stock? Why? Two words: Jeff Fisher. I give them 5 wins and random wins at that.

Kansas City Chiefs
http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/1b/6d/homeless_29.jpg?itok=KQ1o-tZR

2012 was a miserable and tragic year for the Chiefs. Not only did they have the worst record in the NFL they are aiming to outdo themselves in 2013 by hiring walrus face Andy Reid. Reid has once again starting off his new job by being the clueless fuckstick he's always been. The Chiefs have 0 offense so what does he do? Well, the Chiefs were #1 in the food line this year when he came to picks so Reid goes for a defensive player. Wow! Great start! Look for Castle to choke, Reid to meltdown and the fans throwing off their red for white (as in we just give up) and move to another city. 6 and 10.

Atlanta Falcons

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQr9V2sBHocV0wNWW0BcWdu3OtJ0UavO fsl845LSEIgg6jsUer37w
Also in 2012, one can safely say the Falcons were the most impressive team in he NFL even if they did suck. I like Matt Ryan and the way he plays with a good head on his shoulders it's just too bad he has so many fuck ups and retards around him. Mike Smith is a control freak Nazi cocksucker and now with Tony Gonad Gonzalez retired, Matt is going to have a lot of trouble keeping his head in place. I say they kick the shit out of their NFC South rivals but just about everyone else is going to be kicking the shit of out them. A mediocre 8 and 8 with Matt in a 20 year coma.

Carolina Panthers
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SXlXjbKOvug/TeUWCQZPgZI/AAAAAAAAASo/oq5B8Nmf6zw/s1600/Lost-Season-6-header.jpg

The Carolina Panthers are that TV show that everyone talks about but no one watches yet maintains a strange cult following as a result. Why they have soap opera legend Cam "The Spam" Newton with his co stars Steve Smith and DeAngelo Williams. And like a certain television show, Cam can't seem to find either one of them much because he has no clue as to where his own ass is on the field. Sure, there are conspiracies and alleged conspiracies like how Ron Rivera is Puerto Rican spy and Jerry Richardson is a card carrying member of the Illuminati who happens to own a small island...7-7-1-1 because those numbers add up to something.

mh5150

05-26-2013, 08:57 AM

I can't wait for Kristy review of the WORLD CHAMPION BALTIMORE RAVENS. ..

Angel

05-26-2013, 11:11 AM

Omg, Kristy! This is fucking brilliant! Way to go!!! If I ever decide to try my hand at stand-up comedy, will you be my writer? :bravo: (don't know if that's a smiley or not)

Nickdfresh

05-26-2013, 11:30 AM

This may be my favorite thread...Particularly the Steelers assessment...welcome back Kristy..ya little sweetie.

This is a good thread. I anxiously await her commentary on the perennial suck-fest of fail that is the once proud Buffalo Bills franchise. Although with recent changes and by-all-accounts a solid draft, I now have hope, again. Yikes!.. :ohmy:

Nickdfresh

05-26-2013, 11:39 AM

I further cunt'cure with the New England analysis as Tom Brady gently weeps in his Wes Welker shrine of Brokeback, unrequited homoerotic jock love...

Kristy

05-26-2013, 05:57 PM

San Francisco 49's

http://media.au.timeout.com/contentFiles/image/syd-features/large-leatherpride29.jpg

A lot of folks are expecting the “nine’ers” to go all the way in 2013. San Francisco may just do that if they can survive another beating by at the hands of Baltimore (and even Seattle) which they won’t .Tattoo love child a pride leader Colin Kaepernickdick dressed in leather and plastic will continue to thrust his ball at other obviously fit men (for deep penetration) while other men dressed in tight spandex will be bending, squatting, stretching all around him, some may even try to grab in other to get him to stop his thrusting only Colin knows if he’ll let them. Meanwhile, macho “head” Jim “Am I Ever” Harbaugh will continue to strut on the sidelines looking at these men [I]blowing by him. He may yell at them with his tongue rolling around in his mouth or he may let his hands to the talking. We shall see. 11 and 5 with a rainbow of trick plays.

Jacksonville Jaguars

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tmmomUlb1FQ/T3omeRmhWXI/AAAAAAAANjk/RNMvXKXRt_0/s1600/s4.jpg


 They have a new logo and uniform. So I guess this means they are into fashion. Some douche named Gabbert plays QB, another named Maurice Jones-Drew allegedly runs with the ball and Gus wears the slacks. Rumor has it they reside in Florida and are a legitimate NFL team. Think I’ve seen them on TV a time or two – usually late on a bad cable show where there are a lot a reruns, you know, where the Sam-Wow guy got his start before he started bitch slapping hookers. Expect the Jags to be bitch slapped in 2013. 6 and 10

Baltimore Ravens
http://welcometobaltimorehon.com/images/poe1.jpg


 The NFL just won’t be the same in 2013 with their favorite murderer Ray Lewis now retired. Even Doomervil can’t replace his macabre talent nor can Joe Flacco’s pendulum arm, or Ray Rue Morgue Rice’s running save their horrific 2013 season. Even Pallas head John Harbaugh will have his bleak December when the other teams in the NFL are quoting “nevermore!” to their playoff hopes. 7 and 9 with no supernatural intervention.

Kristy

05-26-2013, 06:19 PM

Buffalo Bills

http://instantnewswestu.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/DECA-Xmas31-525x315.jpg

 Remember back in high school or junior high where there was the one kid that everyone knew about but never really talked about because he was unique? You might recall him if you try. He rode to school on his own bus, spent a lot of time in the nurses’ office and at lunch you could always find him wiping down the lunch tables. Well, the Buffalo Bills are that kid all grown up. Yes, even the NFL has its own Special Ed (although they don’t like to talk about it) where being different doesn’t mean you can’t play football. And let’s not forget to give credit to Dick Marrone to takes the time to give these kids a field trip 8 times a year to other places where society can openly mock Kevin Kolb’s autistic throwing and Fred Jackson’s attention deficient running. 3 and 13 with a lot of time outs. If you get my drift.

redblkwht

05-26-2013, 11:17 PM

Atlanta Falcons

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQr9V2sBHocV0wNWW0BcWdu3OtJ0UavO fsl845LSEIgg6jsUer37w
Also in 2012, one can safely say the Falcons were the most impressive team in he NFL even if they did suck. I like Matt Ryan and the way he plays with a good head on his shoulders it's just too bad he has so many fuck ups and retards around him. Mike Smith is a control freak Nazi cocksucker and now with Tony Gonad Gonzalez retired, Matt is going to have a lot of trouble keeping his head in place. I say they kick the shit out of their NFC South rivals but just about everyone else is going to be kicking the shit of out them. A mediocre 8 and 8 with Matt in a 20 year coma.

Posted Mar 12, 2013

Head coach Mike Smith spoke to the Atlanta media Tuesday afternoon to discuss the decision by Tony Gonzalez to return to the Falcons for another year after Gonzalez put the odds of a comeback at just three percent during the postseason.

Got a pencil eraser? Just an Fyi...

Nickdfresh

05-27-2013, 08:45 AM

Buffalo Bills

http://instantnewswestu.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/DECA-Xmas31-525x315.jpg

 Remember back in high school or junior high where there was the one kid that everyone knew about but never really talked about because he was unique? You might recall him if you try. He rode to school on his own bus, spent a lot of time in the nurses’ office and at lunch you could always find him wiping down the lunch tables. Well, the Buffalo Bills are that kid all grown up. Yes, even the NFL has its own Special Ed (although they don’t like to talk about it) where being different doesn’t mean you can’t play football. And let’s not forget to give credit to Dick Marrone to takes the time to give these kids a field trip 8 times a year to other places where society can openly mock Kevin Kolb’s autistic throwing and Fred Jackson’s attention deficient running. 3 and 13 with a lot of time outs. If you get my drift.


I HOPE they go 3-13. The Bills can't even fail correctly and keep going 6-10 or 7-9. Not good enough to do anything but not get a top draft pic...

chefcraig

05-27-2013, 11:32 AM

Without a doubt, this thread is in the running for the Top Five Best Threads Of 2013. Simply outstanding, featuring some highly astute commentary.

Nicely done. :yo::appl:

Kristy

05-27-2013, 12:46 PM

Cleveland Browns

http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/on_the_waterfront%281%29.jpg
 No other team in the history of the NFL has been much of an enigma as the Cleveland Browns. Named after founder Paul Brown they had many promising starts winning several championships with a perfect season back in 1948. In 2013 many a Browns fan are more than consciously aware that 1948 was a long, long time ago. They bounced back here and there and even had the blessing (or curse) in the mi 1980’s of drafting Bernie Kosar a quarterback so slow that many a fan thought he took Quaaludes before each game. Bernie was really the last of the Browns heyday. Now they have Brandon Weedon, who has one of the lowest, if not non-existent, passer ratings in the league. Brandon tries though; he has to so he can be somebody, a contender you know, like Bernie was. 5 and 11 and Percocet replaces the ludes.

New York Jets

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fRWxnSx7mXU/UDxE-Eb-_3I/AAAAAAAAEmk/pv1Q-Ix3Jvk/s1600/West-Side-Story-1.jpg



Let get ready to rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbllllle! Okay, let’s not. Strange team these Jets. For you would think that a man who worship women’s feet like one of the (former) players worships Jesus nothing could go wrong. The Jets really don’t so much remind me of flying as they do driving –especially when you see a terrible accident on the highway and you just slow down not so much out of curiosity but that you consciously want to see some carnage. Good thing the Jets provided this in abundance in 2012 for those of us with this weird fetish. Every week was a car wreck of momentous proportions. I know I got my rocks off. The whole Sanchaez/Tebow pseudo controversy, Santonio Holmes and his endless bellyaching, the unexplained Rex Ryan weight gain(s), the fans abandoning ship and joining other teams, owner Woody Johnson’s senility…all that was missing was Vincent Price to narrate. I say they also go 5 and 11 with Rex Ryan's wife suffering from toenail fungus and gout.

Kristy

05-27-2013, 01:04 PM

Washington Redskins

http://www.csmonitor.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/content/2013/0320-axe/15322421-1-eng-US/0320-axe_full_600.jpg
 Let me tell you guys little secret or two that women all know on how to spot a douchebag that under no circumstances would ever want to know, much less ever want to fuck. One may be a guy who hasn’t bathed/shaved in days and talks loudly on his Bluetooth in a library. The other is a guy who wears that putrid stench known as Axe body spray. The Washington Redskins are the Axe body spray of the NFL. For every women knows all Axe does is cover up the smell of wank, shame and failure. Mike Shanahack may have the Adonis GOD of the NFL RGIII as his "wingman" even that won’t disguise the olfactory nerves of Redskin fans from the truth that Shanahack’s own shit [I]does stink and he’s been stuck in a mid-life perpetual crisis since 1998. A 7 and 9 record with Shanahack buying himself another Corvette and leaving the real coaching to his son.

Kristy

05-27-2013, 01:37 PM

Denver Broncos

http://top-10-list.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/George-Costanza-life-in-3-words.jpg

 Do you remember that classic episode of Seinfeld where George Constanza is running over children and old ladies with no regard to get out of an apartment fire? That will be Peyton Manning in 2013. Every true NFL knows Peyton loves to choke when it comes to playoffs running over his teammates and coaches to get to the locker room and into his shitty talking Buick. John Fox will once again play the clown in the scenario and John Elway the fire chief disciplining Peyton that what he did was wrong. By then Peyton won’t care. He’ll be down the road in his shitty talking car with the truck stuffed full of owner’s Pat Bowlen’s money. 16 and 0 if you are a Bronco fan and 0 and 16 if you live in reality.

Kristy

06-03-2013, 04:56 PM

Cincinnati Bengals

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m42wxn4waS1qm2lgh.jpg

Hipster kids, they're everywhere these days. Why they love the "retro", the "vintage", the "vinyl", are the rudest people you ever met, usually unemployed or going to community college hoping to achieve an associate degree in graphic design or some other totally useless academia shit like psychology because they want to work with children when they find the time in between their Polaroid camera, driving Volkswagens and "blogging" at a local Starbucks. And by the way, those of you with children never, ever let them near a hipster kid. You've been warned. The Bengals of the dismal Cincinnati are the hipster kid(s) of the NFL; their horrid striped fashion sense should be a tale tell giveaway not mention the Bengals are by far the most god damn laziest team in franchise history. You see, the Bengals are just too "kewl" to play football. It's more of a way to pass the time until they can find a job with their diploma in art. And everyone knows striped fashion is so vintage these days. 4 and 12 and the fashion police handing out tickets at the end of every game.

PETE'S BROTHER

06-03-2013, 05:04 PM

Green Bay Packers
http://www.co.prince-edward.va.us/images/shopping_Aaron%27s%20Rents.jpg

No other player in the NFL has a bigger penis than Aaron Rodgers. Yeah I know the Packers are America's original blue collar team but I still fucking hate them! Why? It's all the hype and bullshit that surrounds this team and...they are from Wisconsin. Fuck Wisconsin. Say, besides Texas, there are is no other state in the Union that has more retards and social fuck ups than Wisconsin. Now, Rodgers and his huge penis will once again rise to the top in 2013 giving white collar season ticket holders a 13 and 3 offering.

i'll take it :love0072:

Kristy

06-04-2013, 11:38 AM

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs47/i/2009/221/f/a/Hetalia_cosplay_Pirate_England_by_StarRose17.jpg

Cosplay. It's a growing and somewhat disturbing phenomena. Basically Cosplay is where one "dresses up" as their favorite comic book character and attends shows with other dressed up losers who can't get aid even if they were a piece of carpet in a hotel lobby. Cosplay is so big these days that I'm not at a surprised it found its way into the NFL. The "Buccaneers" are allegedly pirates but everyone knows pirates like to smash other men in the face with pianos between bours of heavy drinking and pussy chasing. Captain Greg Schiano with fellow shipmates Josh Freeman and Darrelle Revis would rather chase contracts and future draft picks busts. Arrrggghhh, matey! Look for the Bucxs to leave a trial of parrot droppings with a 4 and 12 and to be ridiculed at this years' Comic Con.

Kristy

06-04-2013, 11:41 AM

I think that's it. I might have missed someone but who cares? Thanks for the replies even though there are some major grammatical errors and some were written more sucky than others (time restraints, that's my excuse) and yes, I know the math doesn't work out for wins and losses but who again, who cares? The NFL blows - bunch of overpaid shit actors it what it has become.

TFM_Dale

06-04-2013, 01:05 PM

I think that's it. I might have missed someone but who cares? Thanks for the replies even though there are some major grammatical errors and some were written more sucky than others (time restraints, that's my excuse) and yes, I know the math doesn't work out for wins and losses but who again, who cares? The NFL blows - bunch of overpaid shit actors it what it has become.

Even with your dislike of the NFL and most everything in general major props for this thread! Highly entertaining and cracked me up multiple times.

Kristy

06-04-2013, 03:35 PM

Wow, I made a LOT of grammar errors here.

(time for glasses RX redux)

PETE'S BROTHER

06-12-2013, 04:00 PM

I'll add more to this when time allows. So here's what's happen in the 2013 NFL season:

The Chicago Bears
http://1.media.sportspickle.cvcdn.com/90/60/e7e841d909912bc33184604f5699f57b-little-packers-girl-is-very-mean-to-jay-cutler.jpg

Bear fans can expect another dismal season with Cuntler at the helm. Now with Brian Urlacher gone and that creepy looking Marc Trestman mapping out the plays 'Da Bears' will go a 5 and 11 and Cuntler will outdo his previous NFL interception record; get hurt in late October, whine like the little bitch he his and soon will join Mr. Urlacher in 2014.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/jay-cutler-look-wedding-most-jay-cutler-thing-172843465.html :hee:

Kristy

08-26-2013, 05:35 PM

Seattle Seahawks

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSKT8VOE-VIvOBujlQHHjdIvj5EhuawHge7Pv-0P5FKnRJiTtSl

Oh, the humanity! Seattle won't be as surprising or talented as years past due you can only sell your soul once. Pete Carrol a.k.a Satan's lapdog in his Black Mass rituals will take the Seahawks to a 10 and 6 sacrifice. Other than that, expect other teams to laugh at their ridiculous neon gangrene infected uniforms (and matching shoes).

I may have to reevaluate Seattle. They look like they may do some serious damage this year in the NFC which is good since most NFC teams are boring. Russell Wilson is da shit!

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 06:08 PM

ok :doh:

Kristy

08-26-2013, 06:18 PM

Arron Rodgers best QB in the league. Too bad he plays in the shitty fuckhole known as Wisconsin. Therefore, Packers fans are fucktards.

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 06:28 PM

Arron Rodgers best QB in the league. Too bad he plays in the shitty fuckhole known as Wisconsin. Therefore, Packers fans are fucktards.

are you one as well?

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 06:29 PM

a fucktard?

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 06:35 PM

a fucktard?

nevermind, i know the answer ;)

Kristy

08-26-2013, 06:52 PM

are you one as well?

No, I cannot stand the Packers and their trailer trash fan base. Of course, if you want to see true trailer trash NFL fans look no further than Denver Bronco fans. Most of them no longer have any teeth, a sensible diet or a job. The Packers annoy me with their "cheesehead" mentality and pseudo blue collar posturing as if they are the working man's team. No blue collar dufus can afford to go to a Packers game unless they blew somebody white collar to get there. Plus, fuck Lambo Field, gap-toothed Vince Lombardi and Bret Farve. Aaron is great but really, about it for Green Ghey as far as me praising them.

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 06:54 PM

russell played at the uw madison...

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 06:58 PM

No blue collar dufus can afford to go to a Packers game unless they blew somebody white collar to get there.

while probly not true, same scenario at any nfl venue these days :(

Kristy

08-26-2013, 06:58 PM

So? He's not there now is he?

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 06:59 PM

So? He's not there now is he?

he was friday ;)

Kristy

08-26-2013, 07:02 PM

And what makes the Packers so great anyway?

PETE'S BROTHER

08-26-2013, 07:04 PM

And what makes the Packers so great anyway?

for me, it's the home team with some famous people entangled in the history of the game.

Kristy

08-26-2013, 07:08 PM

Fair enough.

Kristy

04-23-2014, 06:00 PM

I may do a 2014. Depends on this year's draft - which looks to be sadder than what 2013 was.