Porn Sex v Real Sex

[Seshmeister]

......

[Northern Girl]

Well, if the average guy lasts 3 minutes, it's not surprising 3/4 of women don't orgasm during intercourse. We need to have like 10 guys in the room taking turns to get the job done.

[DLR Bridge]

And where are we getting this 3 minute figure? That's horrendous.

[Igosplut]

Well, if the average guy lasts 3 minutes, it's not surprising 3/4 of women don't orgasm during intercourse. We need to have like 10 guys in the room taking turns to get the job done.

They call that "pulling a train"....

[Northern Girl]

And where are we getting this 3 minute figure? That's horrendous.

Well...only 75 percent of you. I'm sure you are in the top 25!

[DLR Bridge]

Well...only 75 percent of you. I'm sure you are in the top 25!

Ha! Only when I've been drinking and am focused on baseball stats. :yo:

[Northern Girl]

How romantic!

[DLR Bridge]

I left out "I keed, I keed!"

[Northern Girl]

Didn't think you were a big sports fan.

[Northern Girl]

They call that "pulling a train"....

I call that Saturday night...:015:

[SunisinuS]

I call that Saturday night...:015:


It's my birthday coming up very soon.....are you free Saturday Night Northern?

My skype name is:

[Seshmeister]

Minuteman_Missile? ;)

[Nickdfresh]

Well, if the average guy lasts 3 minutes, it's not surprising 3/4 of women don't orgasm during intercourse. We need to have like 10 guys in the room taking turns to get the job done.

That's what the tongue is for...

[sadaist]

That's what the tongue is for...


Yes.

Note to ladies, keep that thing clean and most of us will be happy to take care of you first before we take care of ourselves. Make it smell like soap. And no perfume. Okay, maybe a tiny dab above but too much & it becomes overpowering and hard to breathe.

Note to guys, this is not a substitute for good hygiene but a great trick is to take them in the jacuzzi, spa, hot tub (or even swimming pool) first. That way you know it gets a good cleaning, the chlorine wipes out all the bacterias & smell.

[DLR Bridge]

Dafuq? Perfume? No thanks. Soap? Well, I have been cussing an aweful lot lately, so....

[envy_me]

Yes.

Note to ladies, keep that thing clean and most of us will be happy to take care of you first before we take care of ourselves. Make it smell like soap. And no perfume. Okay, maybe a tiny dab above but too much & it becomes overpowering and hard to breathe.

Note to guys, this is not a substitute for good hygiene but a great trick is to take them in the jacuzzi, spa, hot tub (or even swimming pool) first. That way you know it gets a good cleaning, the chlorine wipes out all the bacterias & smell.

What sort of trash are you dating when you actually feel you have to remind us to wash ourselves?

[vandeleur]

Sada if its bad enough to need chlorine go the whole hog and use a snorkel :biggrin:

[envy_me]

-Could you wash it?
-I wasn't going to this week, but if you insist...

[envy_me]

Note to guys, this is not a substitute for good hygiene but a great trick is to take them in the jacuzzi, spa, hot tub (or even swimming pool) first. That way you know it gets a good cleaning, the chlorine wipes out all the bacterias & smell.


God, now I am remembering a joke somebody made. Cause people in Jersey Shore would take their dates to the hot tub to kill the bacteria before sleeping with them. So, was in Leno or Conan that said something like "How skanky are your dates that you have to boil them before having sex with them" :biggrin:

[sadaist]

What sort of trash are you dating when you actually feel you have to remind us to wash ourselves?



Them things are breeding grounds for bacteria.

[envy_me]

Them things are breeding grounds for bacteria.


Human body tends to be ;)

I always think about surgeons, imagine the smell when they open up a person :sick0020:

And lets be honest, when you're horny and hot, you do things and lick stuff you usually wouldn't :biggrin:

[DLR Bridge]

Them things are breeding grounds for bacteria.

...and kids who never have enough hand held gadgets, clothing or junk food. Damn vagina. Thanks to you, I'm flat fucking broke!

[DLR Bridge]

And lets be honest, when you're horny and hot, you do things and lick stuff you usually wouldn't :biggrin:

If you don't mind, I'd like to work that sentiment into a sleezy song about porn I've been working on. :yo:

[Northern Girl]

Them things are breeding grounds for bacteria.

So is your pee pee. That's why it's disgusting when men don't wash their hands after they whiz. Sure you probably didn't get any piss on you, but you still touched your filthy penis.

[Northern Girl]

If you don't mind, I'd like to work that sentiment into a sleezy song about porn I've been working on. :yo:

If it's called "Wake Me When They're Fisting" I'll know who inspired it. LOL.

[DLR Bridge]

If it's called "Wake Me When They're Fisting" I'll know who inspired it. LOL.

Oofah! Not quite as crass. So far, at least.

[BITEYOASS]

What's the secret on how long porn stud's last? It's called video editing! :bigwink:

[envy_me]

...and kids who never have enough hand held gadgets, clothing or junk food. Damn vagina. Thanks to you, I'm flat fucking broke!


You have to put it in the perspective, just like you said (even though you didn't say that, lets pretend you did :D)

What is cheese if not just bacteria? Or meat? For gods sake there are people eating Casu Marzu.

[Coyote]

What's the secret on how long porn stud's last? It's called video editing! :bigwink:

That, and the first 3 years of his career doing gay porn. (Don't quote me on that, read that on the 'Net.)

[PETE'S BROTHER]

That, and the first 3 years of his career doing gay porn. (Don't quote me on that, read that on the 'Net.)

DAN WILL TELL YOU, HE WAS YOUNG AND NEEDED THE MONEY :baaa:

[Coyote]

And where are we getting this 3 minute figure? That's horrendous.

Disgraceful, even... I only get warmed up in that time.

[Northern Girl]

Not quite as crass.



crass

1.thoughtless and vulgar: so thoughtless, vulgar, and insensitive as to lack all refinement or delicacy




Well, I never! :cry2:

[Nickdfresh]

Them things are breeding grounds for bacteria.

Your mouth probably has more...

[DLR Bridge]

Delicacy: the quality of being easily broken or damaged; fragility.

Sorry, just thought fisting might cause some harm. Seems like it would, but hey, if Betty White says the vagina can take a pounding, maybe it's not so crass after all.

(oh, and I know your definition's context of delicacy was pertaining to a situation. Just makin' a funny.:yo:)

[DLR Bridge]

If it's called "Wake Me When They're Fisting" I'll know who inspired it. LOL.

It only took me a full day to get that inside :hee: joke. Sorry. I'm a slow poke. More :hee:

[Northern Girl]

Yeah, I need smarter friends. ;)

[DLR Bridge]

I ain't that smart, but I can lift really heavy things...

[Northern Girl]

You hurt my feelings for nothing with your 5 letter words! ;)

[THEDOCTOR]

Porn sex and real sex are unbelievably different. Porn sex turns it into a job. So much stopping,starting,holding a position,etc with so much distraction all around you,that even with someone you are with in real life ,it is nothing compared to real sex. It is absolutely work and concentration on the guy's part ,not to mention filtering out the fact that there's a guy hovering with a camera around you the whole time ,sometimes under your legs,etc. Its NOT like real sex where its fluid and intimate in any respect. Not to mention they want things right on time. All things.
At the end of the day it turns it into a job. One of the best jobs ever but you aren't just going in and having sex a-z like you do in your bedroom. It's so much stopping during you wonder if you are ever going to get a few mins of just...having sex. lol
Real sex is so much more intimate and pleasurable than porn sex. Even if its a marathon bang tango.
Just weighing in!
And 3 mins? Cmon man.... who is 3 mins? A 15 year on his first time? Cmon lads, surely you can do better'n that!

[Seshmeister]

Genius... :)

[SunisinuS]

:doh:
So is your pee pee. That's why it's disgusting when men don't wash their hands after they whiz. Sure you probably didn't get any piss on you, but you still touched your filthy penis.

Dumbshit. If you owned one...you wash your hands BEFORE you touch it...and then after. My Dick will remain the cleanest thing on my body throughout the day. I guess if you do not own one you should not be writing the manual on it. No STD's here ever ever ever motherfuckers.

Fuck. Get yourself around some smarter men please. You must know some filthy penises. Find one that is Blue Steel...then you will not be confused. Otherwise....keep dating football players with concussions. Make sure you generalize about men more.


:599:

[sadaist]

I always think about surgeons, imagine the smell when they open up a person :sick0020:



Was actually thinking about this the other day. Someone sitting near me farted and it was awful. So I was thinking what a great container the human body is to be able to hold such a terrible stink inside without anyone knowing until you release that sphincter and let one go.

And surgeons probably smell some rank stuff. Imagine bowel & stomach surgeries. Nasty.

I think god, or mother nature, or whatever purposely made shit stink so bad to us so that we would keep it as far from us as possible. Since feces is just terrible bacteria & can make you extremely sick, it needs to be disposed of properly and not kept close. People living in caves or small villages, if shit didn't smell they would be prone to get lazy and have it lying arond wherever they had to go. Which in turn would expose them to sickness. Therefore the stink of shit serves a purpose and was intended.

[Northern Girl]

:doh:

Dumbshit. If you owned one...you wash your hands BEFORE you touch it...and then after. My Dick will remain the cleanest thing on my body throughout the day. I guess if you do not own one you should not be writing the manual on it. No STD's here ever ever ever motherfuckers.

Fuck. Get yourself around some smarter men please. You must know some filthy penises. Find one that is Blue Steel...then you will not be confused. Otherwise....keep dating football players with concussions. Make sure you generalize about men more.


:599:

Calm the fuck down, dude! I was just overreacting to Sadaist's overreacting to dirty vaginas. It was tongue in cheek to someone with a brain!

But as a matter of fact, that statement came right from Dr. Oz a couple weeks ago on his show, otherwise, I wouldn't even have thought twice about it.

But if you actually believe men wash before and after they piss, you are the dumbshit! I remember a thread right here where guys admitted they don't always wash their hands after they piss and sure as hell don't wash before. So take your Blue Steel and go fuck yourself!

[DLR Bridge]

And to think, Sun was feeling you out for some Skype B-Day sex not 48 hours ago. Tables get flipped over on a dime around here!

WTF is Blue Steel anyway? U.D. gives 6 completely different definitions, all with hilarious context sentences, mind you.

[envy_me]

I don't get any of this anymore. I lost you all around fisting time...

[SunisinuS]

Calm the fuck down, dude! I was just overreacting to Sadaist's overreacting to dirty vaginas. It was tongue in cheek to someone with a brain!

But as a matter of fact, that statement came right from Dr. Oz a couple weeks ago on his show, otherwise, I wouldn't even have thought twice about it.

But if you actually believe men wash before and after they piss, you are the dumbshit! I remember a thread right here where guys admitted they don't always wash their hands after they piss and sure as hell don't wash before. So take your Blue Steel and go fuck yourself!

And Thanks for the PM. As I said...I wash before I touch my dick and after....I fight the good fight....and thanks for you kind words. The thanks people do not know it as it was personal. Again...all men are not the same...and when you generalize about them it is the same as if they generalize about your gender.

We are better when we respect each other.

I fight the good germ fight the best I can:

[SunisinuS]

And to think, Sun was feeling you out for some Skype B-Day sex not 48 hours ago. Tables get flipped over on a dime around here!

WTF is Blue Steel anyway? U.D. gives 6 completely different definitions, all with hilarious context sentences, mind you.

Comedy. Kindness is always viewed by bullies as weakness. Old Quote. Spin the wheel again sir. Badly Played.

:595:

[DLR Bridge]

:confused13:

[Sensible Shoes]

I don't get any of this anymore. I lost you all around fisting time...

OK Envy so nobody else will explain it, I will. Fisting is putting a hand inside the vagina or anus. In most cases, a fair amount of stretching has to happen before this can occur.

Happy? I just grossed myself out :biggrin:

[envy_me]

OK Envy so nobody else will explain it, I will. Fisting is putting a hand inside the vagina or anus. In most cases, a fair amount of stretching has to happen before this can occur.

Happy? I just grossed myself out :biggrin:

Oh, I know that ;)
But it felt like people were referring to things said earlier that I think I missed or didn't understand.

[Seshmeister]

I have people to deal with that kind of thing...

[envy_me]

That's why the webbies are so cranky in the morning :biggrin:

[Northern Girl]

But it felt like people were referring to things said earlier that I think I missed or didn't understand.





It was a reference from another place and time! :winkglasses:

[Sensible Shoes]

Well at least Envy got me to post something embarrassing - haven't done that in a long time!

[DLR Bridge]

Well at least Envy got me to post something embarrassing - haven't done that in a long time!

The whole "fair amount of stretching" has me wondering though. Wouldn't traditional sex feel like waving a wand in a swimming pool after said stretching? A very peculiar fetish indeed.

[Igosplut]

Wash yourself silly, but what are ya gonna do when you have to open the bathroom door and touch the doorknob that all the people that didn't wash up grabbed?

[SunisinuS]

And to think, Sun was feeling you out for some Skype B-Day sex not 48 hours ago. Tables get flipped over on a dime around here!

WTF is Blue Steel anyway? U.D. gives 6 completely different definitions, all with hilarious context sentences, mind you.

:winkglasses:

[SunisinuS]

The whole "fair amount of stretching" has me wondering though. Wouldn't traditional sex feel like waving a wand in a swimming pool after said stretching? A very peculiar fetish indeed.

(--17 yrs as a competitive swimmer.

[SunisinuS]

Wash yourself silly, but what are ya gonna do when you have to open the bathroom door and touch the doorknob that all the people that didn't wash up grabbed?
Always use towels....never touch someone else's doorknob :winkglasses:

[sadaist]

OK Envy so nobody else will explain it, I will. Fisting is putting a hand inside the vagina or anus. In most cases, a fair amount of stretching has to happen before this can occur.

Happy? I just grossed myself out :biggrin:



A fair amount of stretching and a ton of ewwwwwww!!!!

[envy_me]

To be honest I am not grossed out by fisting at all. I think it might be painful, but I don't see why it's gross. There are probably women who don't think it hurts, maybe if you had a child and have already been streched out far more then a fist.

It's not something I would do, but I don't think it's gross :)

[envy_me]

Always use towels....never touch someone else's doorknob :winkglasses:


LMAO!!! I also use paper towels to open the door to a public restroom :D

[Sensible Shoes]

The whole "fair amount of stretching" has me wondering though. Wouldn't traditional sex feel like waving a wand in a swimming pool after said stretching? A very peculiar fetish indeed.

To say nothing of shitting on the floor all the time.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

Men and women have different ways of cleaning a toilet. Women use bleach and rinse twice. Men just pee on the poop stain as hard as they can!!

[VetteLS5]

Always use towels....never touch someone else's doorknob :winkglasses:

Elbows. I don't see too many actual doorknobs on bathrooms anymore - mostly push down style handles or just push the door in. Elbows, shoulders, and hand sanitizer instead of touching filthy faucet handles.

Now, what's all this about having to handle your junk when taking a whiz? Do you have some sort of out of control fire hose thing going on?

[envy_me]

Elbows. I don't see too many actual doorknobs on bathrooms anymore - mostly push down style handles or just push the door in. Elbows, shoulders, and hand sanitizer instead of touching filthy faucet handles.

Now, what's all this about having to handle your junk when taking a whiz? Do you have some sort of out of control fire hose thing going on?

But you can't use elbows to unlock the door. At least not our European style locks :) I open with paper towels.

I worked extra in another shop for a few days and these girls had instructions on EVERYTHING. Even on how to use bathroom. So they had a note on the door "Door handles actually contain more bacteria then #€%%& (i don't know what they wrote) so open the door first and then wash your hands"
Idiots. If everybody washed hands BEFORE opening the door the handle wouldn't be so filthy. By washing the hands after they are just making it worse. God, by the end of the week I was so irritated at their stupid notes everywhere I just wanted to rip them off and throw the all away.
They were so cute and filled with smileys and hearts, but so annoying!!! It's like: i know how to use garbage can, i don't need instructions no matter how many hearts you draw on them.

[PETE'S BROTHER]

Now, what's all this about having to handle your junk when taking a whiz? Do you have some sort of out of control fire hose thing going on?

at times, how old are you ;)