John Holmes
06-29-2004, 08:54 AM
I saw Van Hagar at Hartford, and I'd like to add my two cents
about the show. Before you read any further please keep in mind I LOVED the show and am more than happy with the way it turned out.
I just have some observations after seeing Sammy first at Cabo Wabo two summers ago.
First off, the sound is still very tight, as sharp as beans and broccoli induced farts. I was very impressed no poo smell was around though. Now onto some little things. One, Mikey needs
to shave. Sorry but he just doesn't look like happy Mike with that putrid goatee with spaghetti and tomato sauce left-overs everywhere in the hairs. He looks like a fat cocksucker from an eating contest.
Secondly, what happened to the video footage of the Balance tour, with Sammy sitting on a crapper? You know, where Sammy has the Gay Pride T-Shirt, and plays with his tiny balls within the toilet bowl? I kind of missed that.
My next problem, and for me, this is a big one is this: Let me set the stage for ya. Sammy finishes singing one of his 167 forgotten solo songs, and the lights go out, and I stand up in my seat in row R of section 302, and start to yell, here it is "TURN THE LIGHT ON, I CAN?T FIND MY LIGHTER HOLY CRAP!!!!' loud enough that Al could probably hear me. What happens? The lights come back on and Eddie avidly dragging on his cigarette was unloading his cum in Sammy's mouth. Are you kidding me? If they want to do that, that's fine, but let him do it at Al's home, it won't kill ya.
Which brings me to my next point. Eddie Van Halen cops every guitar solo off every song to sound just like they are modulated over cow farts. Worse, during Spammy's solo songs, he was completely lost in the fecal notes spat through the huge amplifers. Is it too much to ask that Eddie learn the beat for the songs he didn't write? It's unreal, if he didn't write the tune, he's scratching his ass. For 80 bucks I want to see Hagar and the other three girls. Not some guy who tours with my fat hero with a crappy backup band. Sorry but that annoys me. I did see Eddie and Sammy smile at each other which was a nice change from a redneck bar here in 110th road two years ago, where they both pretty much stayed on their own side.
The show itself was much better, they were more into music masturbation than playing, and all the songs turned into the messy, hazy crap I was expecting from a Van Hagar concert. Eddie is a guitar god when he has to sound like shit and people should take some notice. Sammy is phisically great and great fun to watch, expecially when I couldn't help watching a Teletubbies episode on that day.
Mike is a big rock of shit, like those shit balls you defecate when you're constipated. The two in the band with the biggest attitudes should consider themselves lucky to be on the stage with the other two, in my mind. Don't get me wrong they're awesome too. And man, Sammy can't still sing like when he was 35. Great show, great night, great time. Sorry this was so long winded, just had to make some points.
about the show. Before you read any further please keep in mind I LOVED the show and am more than happy with the way it turned out.
I just have some observations after seeing Sammy first at Cabo Wabo two summers ago.
First off, the sound is still very tight, as sharp as beans and broccoli induced farts. I was very impressed no poo smell was around though. Now onto some little things. One, Mikey needs
to shave. Sorry but he just doesn't look like happy Mike with that putrid goatee with spaghetti and tomato sauce left-overs everywhere in the hairs. He looks like a fat cocksucker from an eating contest.
Secondly, what happened to the video footage of the Balance tour, with Sammy sitting on a crapper? You know, where Sammy has the Gay Pride T-Shirt, and plays with his tiny balls within the toilet bowl? I kind of missed that.
My next problem, and for me, this is a big one is this: Let me set the stage for ya. Sammy finishes singing one of his 167 forgotten solo songs, and the lights go out, and I stand up in my seat in row R of section 302, and start to yell, here it is "TURN THE LIGHT ON, I CAN?T FIND MY LIGHTER HOLY CRAP!!!!' loud enough that Al could probably hear me. What happens? The lights come back on and Eddie avidly dragging on his cigarette was unloading his cum in Sammy's mouth. Are you kidding me? If they want to do that, that's fine, but let him do it at Al's home, it won't kill ya.
Which brings me to my next point. Eddie Van Halen cops every guitar solo off every song to sound just like they are modulated over cow farts. Worse, during Spammy's solo songs, he was completely lost in the fecal notes spat through the huge amplifers. Is it too much to ask that Eddie learn the beat for the songs he didn't write? It's unreal, if he didn't write the tune, he's scratching his ass. For 80 bucks I want to see Hagar and the other three girls. Not some guy who tours with my fat hero with a crappy backup band. Sorry but that annoys me. I did see Eddie and Sammy smile at each other which was a nice change from a redneck bar here in 110th road two years ago, where they both pretty much stayed on their own side.
The show itself was much better, they were more into music masturbation than playing, and all the songs turned into the messy, hazy crap I was expecting from a Van Hagar concert. Eddie is a guitar god when he has to sound like shit and people should take some notice. Sammy is phisically great and great fun to watch, expecially when I couldn't help watching a Teletubbies episode on that day.
Mike is a big rock of shit, like those shit balls you defecate when you're constipated. The two in the band with the biggest attitudes should consider themselves lucky to be on the stage with the other two, in my mind. Don't get me wrong they're awesome too. And man, Sammy can't still sing like when he was 35. Great show, great night, great time. Sorry this was so long winded, just had to make some points.