Dolphin masturbates with beheaded fish

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  • Seshmeister
    ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

    • Oct 2003
    • 35192

    Dolphin masturbates with beheaded fish

    Self-love in the animal kingdom.

    November 14, 2013 | by Lisa Winter



    - See more at: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and....cD1m3HBl.dpuf

    Despite what you might have been told, masturbation won't make you go blind or grow hair on your palms. It’s actually a pretty standard event in the animal kingdom - non-mammals have been observed engaging in some self-pleasure. YouTube has a ton of examples if you need to see it to believe it (strongly NSFW). Not every animal masturbates to climax, meaning it might not solely be done for pleasure. With primates ejaculation can flush out sperm that may have lost its motility, allowing for fresh sperm to lead the way and have a better chance of conception. For a number of animals, though, it's all about having a good time.

    These are just a few examples of animals that have been caught jerkin’ the gherkin:

    Penguins

    Last year, a journal from 1915 was released. It had been hidden for nearly a century due to content that was considered too scandalous for the time. George Levick, who was part of one of the first crews to explore the South Pole, wasn’t even able to publish his findings on the Adelie penguins’ mating habits because it had been deemed too scandalous and indecent. The “sexual depravity” of the penguins covered things like necrophilia, sexual intercourse with recently hatched chicks, and masturbation (though that really doesn’t seem so bad in comparison).

    Adelies aren’t the only penguins that masturbate; many other species have been observed doing so. In order to stimulate themselves penguins (and most other birds) rub their cloaca against a rock or other object.

    Porcupines

    Maybe this doesn’t come as much of a surprise, but porcupines like it rough. Masturbation in porcupines was first described in 1946 by Albert R. Shadle in The Journal of Wildlife Management. Just before mating season, the female presented her genitals to the male, though they were in separate cages. The male’s response was about what you would expect: he began to hump everything.

    In anticipating to mate the female, the male rubbed himself on his food and water dishes, the wire cage, and even held a stick with his two front hands and used it to rub his penis. Shadle also reported that the stick began to smell, due to the porcupine’s secretions.

    Walruses

    Walruses have a ton of sex during the breeding season, and but they also masturbate to keep busy during the rest of the year. Most of the time, masturbating is accomplished by the male grabbing his penis with his flippers and getting the job done. Not only that, but they are also capable of giving themselves oral sex. Yes, the penis is long enough and even a large male is flexible enough to do the deed. Hopefully they are careful with the tusks!

    Horses

    Masturbation is fairly common among horses, even with geldings who will not reproduce. Males will rub their penises on their bellies for stimulation. This is done by rocking the hips back and forth so the penis rubs side to side, and they will also bounce up and down so it smacks them in the stomach. Male horses rarely masturbate to climax. This used to be considered a habit of horses that were not properly exercised, but research has shown it is a perfectly normal behavior.

    Mares have also been known to masturbate by rubbing their genitals on posts and other objects, and ejaculate-like secretions have been observed.

    Squirrels

    Yes, even cute fluffy squirrels will take matters into their own paws and they even eat their own ejaculate when they are done. This might not just be for pleasure; it could be to increase their health. Squirrels are under heavy sperm competition, so it doesn’t make much sense for them to be wasting their resources. It was noted that squirrels actually masturbate more during mating season, which also goes against conventional wisdom.

    New research says that squirrels might need to “flush the lines” in order to protect against sexually transmitted infections. This would explain why males will masturbate soon after having sex. The inside gets cleaned out with the ejaculate, while saliva helps wash the outside of the penis.

    Dolphins

    Dolphins have long penises that they can manipulate like it was an arm. Masturbation is fairly commonplace and there have even been reports of dolphins using live, wriggling eels to give some extra pleasure to the experience.

    With that said, it might not be too much of a stretch that a dolphin has been spotted masturbating with a decapitated fish. That’s right, it is just going to town on the fish's dead, headless body. The dolphin look like he's having a fantastic time. I’ll just let you have a look:
  • Satan
    ROTH ARMY ELITE
    • Jan 2004
    • 6664

    #2
    Flipper porn!
    Eternally Under the Authority of Satan

    Originally posted by Sockfucker
    I've been in several mental institutions but not in Bakersfield.

    Comment

    • Nickdfresh
      SUPER MODERATOR

      • Oct 2004
      • 49203

      #3
      Is this all just a metaphor for the Incognito scandal?

      Comment

      • Seshmeister
        ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

        • Oct 2003
        • 35192

        #4
        This is easily the best thing I've posted this year.

        It's stuff like this that ensures we always have more guests than any of the other forums...

        Comment

        • Satan
          ROTH ARMY ELITE
          • Jan 2004
          • 6664

          #5


          Guess now we know what the dolphins really meant by that?
          Eternally Under the Authority of Satan

          Originally posted by Sockfucker
          I've been in several mental institutions but not in Bakersfield.

          Comment

          • Nitro Express
            DIAMOND STATUS
            • Aug 2004
            • 32797

            #6
            Where's the head? It could skull fuck it. That's one creepy dolphin. It probably would try and fuck you up the ass when you are swimming in the ocean.
            No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

            Comment

            • vandeleur
              ROTH ARMY SUPREME
              • Sep 2009
              • 9865

              #7
              Dolphins are dirty fuckers , there was one up the north Coast and divers used to wank it off .
              Tho how you would discover you could do that is a mystery , do you start with gold fish and work your way up .
              Do they aspire to wanking off a blue whale and were just using wanky the dolphin as a stepping stone .

              Good find sesh
              fuck your fucking framing

              Comment

              • Nickdfresh
                SUPER MODERATOR

                • Oct 2004
                • 49203

                #8
                I've heard dolphins can be dirty fuckers - that they sometimes gang rape the females...

                Comment

                • Nitro Express
                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • Aug 2004
                  • 32797

                  #9
                  Sounds like a gaggle of Hell's Angels to me.
                  No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                  Comment

                  • Bob_R
                    Full Member Status

                    • Jan 2004
                    • 3834

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Nickdfresh
                    I've heard dolphins can be dirty fuckers - that they sometimes gang rape the females...
                    I thought all Incognito did was haze?
                    Talk Classic Rock - The Official Message Board For Classic Rock -- Now on XenForo!

                    Comment

                    • cadaverdog
                      ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                      • Aug 2007
                      • 8955

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Bob_R
                      I thought all Incognito did was haze?
                      He was talking about the other dolphins. Miami Dolphins gang rape men.
                      Beware of Dog

                      Comment

                      • vandeleur
                        ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                        • Sep 2009
                        • 9865

                        #12
                        Whilst musing on the subject of animal wankery I have this question :

                        T REX he couldn't knock one out .... Little arms .
                        Is that why he was so aggressive
                        fuck your fucking framing

                        Comment

                        • ODShowtime
                          ROCKSTAR

                          • Jun 2004
                          • 5812

                          #13
                          The Face Painter Season 6, Episode 23



                          Pless

                          The chimpanzee.

                          Kramer

                          Oh. Well, uh, what's the problem?

                          Pless

                          Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you the other day.

                          Kramer

                          So, so what do you want me to do?

                          Pless

                          Well, frankly we'd like you to apologize.

                          Ah that's one of the best quotes ever. Episode title is appropriate.
                          gnaw on it

                          Comment

                          • DrMaddVibe
                            ROTH ARMY ELITE
                            • Jan 2004
                            • 6682

                            #14



                            Meh…I'll pay ya for it wtf?
                            http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x...auders1zl5.gif
                            http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c4...willywonka.gif

                            Comment

                            • Nickdfresh
                              SUPER MODERATOR

                              • Oct 2004
                              • 49203

                              #15


                              Seems fitting...

                              Comment

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