Weekly Schedule for ELVIS' church

[FORD]

[Seshmeister]

I wonder how many of the 6 is/was relevant to ELVIS?

I'm trying to get a hold of one of these t-shirts that the genius comedian Doug Stanhope was selling a few years back but they seem to be out of print.

[ELVIS]

Well, the first two are you...

Wednesday and Thursday are Krusty...

Friday is faruck...

Saturday is Cadouchebag...

And America has no joyous future...

[Kristy]

I wonder how many of the 6 is/was relevant to ELVIS?

I'm trying to get a hold of one of these t-shirts that the genius comedian Doug Stanhope was selling a few years back but they seem to be out of print.

Or you can get an Elvis troll doll. Just like the Dumbellvis here, it doesn't work, has no ambition and is over 50 and lives with its parents.

[Von Halen]

Or you can get an Elvis troll doll. Just like the Dumbellvis here, it doesn't work, has no ambition and is over 50 and lives with its parents.

I'm curious Kris-ty, what do you do for a living? In case you don't understand the question, I'll translate. What's your job? Do you have one? Or are you another one of the drug addicted sponges our society loves to prop up and take care of?

[Kristy]

I'm curious Kris-ty, what do you do for a living? In case you don't understand the question, I'll translate. What's your job? Do you have one? Or are you another one of the drug addicted sponges our society loves to prop up and take care of?

Any more and I'd have to kill your F A T ugly ass.

[Von Halen]

Any more and I'd have to kill your F A T ugly ass.

Your drug addicted brain has led you straight to fantasyville, I see.

Reality, not for the drug addicted.

[Kristy]

Yeah, I guess you're right. Whereas your ugly as fuck F A T white trash ass lives on welfare.

[Von Halen]

Yeah, I guess you're right. Whereas your ugly as fuck F A T white trash ass lives on welfare.

You are living proof drug addicts suck at their job, if you are indeed CIA. You single-handedly take the "I" out of CIA.

You are more of a welfare case than either I, or Elvis.

Now go back to frying what's left of your tiny incompetent brain with drugs, drug addict.

[Kristy]

You are living proof drug addicts suck at their job, if you are indeed CIA. You single-handedly take the "I" out of CIA.

And you are living proof of America's increasing stupidity and high school drop out rate.

You are more of a welfare case than either I, or Elvis.

Now look who is not living in "reality."

Now go back to frying what's left of your tiny incompetent brain with drugs, drug addict.

Sure, if you go back to hanging another engine block from your front yard tree limb.

[Von Halen]

And you are living proof of America's increasing stupidity and high school drop out rate.

Oh, that's right. You're doing so well with your education, that you can't afford a minor increase in your insurance rates.

Here's some advice from the guy with a Master's Degree in street smarts, and making money. Spend less on DOPE, and you'll be able to afford your insurance! Retard.

Aren't the drugs supposed to make you happy? Isn't that why you're a drug addict? You must be the most negative drug addict on the planet. You have to be close to suicide. Just make sure you film it, and leave it for your "friends" at the Roth Army.

[Kristy]

Oh, that's right. You're doing so well with your education, that you can't afford a minor increase in your insurance rates.

Actually, my employer picks up the slack.

Here's some advice from the guy with a Master's Degree in street smarts, and making money. Spend less on DOPE, and you'll be able to afford your insurance! Retard.

I highly doubt you've ever been to grad school. Your pathetic grammar skills alone prove that. Maybe you attended DeVry..?

Aren't the drugs supposed to make you happy? Isn't that why you're a drug addict? You must be the most negative drug addict on the planet. You have to be close to suicide. Just make sure you film it, and leave it for your "friends" at the Roth Army.

Weed does not make one a "drug addict" Mr. University of Phoenix wannabe. For a one who claims to "make money" (by getting form your daddy) you have no argument skills much less logical ones. Maybe you did graduate in homoeroticism for a aging, balding rock star who can't sing for shit. What's the matter, Von? Did Walmart run out of lawn darts? Go work on your shitty dune buggy you fucking waste of human existence.

[Kristy]

Von's "grad school":

[DONNIEP]

Did Walmart run out of lawn darts?

I don't think anybody sells the good ones anymore, the ones with the pointy, heavy, metal tips. Kinda sucks.

[Von Halen]

You can lie to yourself Kris-ty, but you can't lie to us. We know weed isn't the only drug you're addicted to.