The "Only In Florida" Police Blotter - Living Proof That Hell Is Other People

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  • Nickdfresh
    SUPER MODERATOR

    • Oct 2004
    • 49340

    #91
    Your football fans ain't the brightest either:



    Comment

    • chefcraig
      DIAMOND STATUS
      • Apr 2004
      • 12172

      #92
      Originally posted by Nickdfresh
      Your football fans ain't the brightest either:


      Perhaps, yet you have to admit it was one hell of an entertaining game.









      “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
      ― Stephen Hawking

      Comment

      • Blaze
        Full Member Status

        • Jan 2009
        • 4371

        #93
        Florida man who died in cockroach-eating contest choked to death, autopsy says





        By NBC News staff
        A man who collapsed after winning a cockroach-eating contest last month at a Florida pet store choked to death, according to a Broward County Medical Examiner report released Monday.
        Edward Archbold, 32, of West Palm Beach, and several other contestants signed up to eat a variety of insects at Ben Siegel Reptiles in Deerfield Beach on Oct. 6. After eating dozens of giant cockroaches, Archbold was declared the winner of an ivory-ball python.

        Earlier in the night, he had also entered a superworm-eating contest.

        But after winning, Archbold felt sick and started vomiting. He then collapsed in the store and was later pronounced dead. The medical examiner’s office conducted tests to determine the cause of death, which was revealed more than a month later.

        According to the report, the death was deemed an accident as a result of "arthropod body parts" blocking Archbold's airways. The autopsy tested negative for toxic substances.
        "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. - Some come from ahead and some come from behind. - But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. - Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" ~ Dr. Seuss
        sigpic

        Comment

        • VAiN
          Use my hand, I won't look
          ROCKSTAR

          • Nov 2006
          • 5056

          #94
          Uhh... just full of fucking chomped up bugs. Fucking gross. And I was there to boot.
          Originally posted by wiseguy
          That shit will welcome you in the morning and pour the milk in your count chocula for ya.

          Comment

          • Blaze
            Full Member Status

            • Jan 2009
            • 4371

            #95
            Originally posted by VAiN
            Uhh... just full of fucking chomped up bugs. Fucking gross. And I was there to boot.
            Did you place and were the bugs better with mustard? o.0
            "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. - Some come from ahead and some come from behind. - But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. - Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" ~ Dr. Seuss
            sigpic

            Comment

            • VAiN
              Use my hand, I won't look
              ROCKSTAR

              • Nov 2006
              • 5056

              #96
              Originally posted by Blaze
              Did you place and were the bugs better with mustard? o.0
              Oh hell no!! I saw that shit and left. I enjoyed chicken wings that night.
              Originally posted by wiseguy
              That shit will welcome you in the morning and pour the milk in your count chocula for ya.

              Comment

              • WARF
                DIAMOND STATUS
                • Jan 2004
                • 15347

                #97
                Florida man breaks into house smashes everything than poops and masturbates.

                <object width="560" height="315"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FydE_ISwrrk?version=3&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FydE_ISwrrk?version=3&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

                Good God Y'all

                Comment

                • WARF
                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 15347

                  #98
                  Gregory Matthew Bruni



                  WTF!?

                  Comment

                  • PETE'S BROTHER
                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Feb 2007
                    • 12678

                    #99
                    OCALA, Fla. — Police in north Florida cited country music singer David Allen Coe for running a red light before being struck by a tractor-trailer near downtown Ocala.
                    Another one of those classic genius posts, sure to generate responses. You log on the next day to see what your witty gem has produced to find no one gets it and 2 knotheads want to stick their dicks in it... Well played, sir!!

                    Comment

                    • private parts
                      Sniper
                      • Jan 2007
                      • 926

                      You Can't Make this Stuff up

                      We live in a strange world

                      JULY 24--Florida police are investigating the theft of &#8220;three strap-on dildos&#8221; that were allegedly taken from a storage unit by a female suspect after she broke up with her girlfriend following a roc
                      sigpic" You ever notice when I scream I sound like Mr. Bill on acid" DLR

                      Comment

                      • Sensible Shoes
                        Full Member Status

                        • Oct 2009
                        • 4648

                        No. You can't.

                        Oh dear.

                        Comment

                        • FORD
                          ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

                          • Jan 2004
                          • 59156

                          Why would anybody keep dildos in a storage unit? They don't take up that much space.
                          Eat Us And Smile

                          Cenk For America 2024!!

                          Justice Democrats


                          "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

                          Comment

                          • DLR Bridge
                            ROCKSTAR

                            • Mar 2011
                            • 5477

                            The article title starts off sounding like a tale of reconciliation.

                            Comment

                            • chefcraig
                              DIAMOND STATUS
                              • Apr 2004
                              • 12172

                              Originally posted by FORD
                              Why would anybody keep dildos in a storage unit? They don't take up that much space.
                              This would have been interesting if it had shown up on that Storage Wars show on A&E.









                              “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
                              ― Stephen Hawking

                              Comment

                              • FORD
                                ROTH ARMY MODERATOR

                                • Jan 2004
                                • 59156

                                This is obviously just speculation, but I'm guessing the woman in question, who would presumably be the "butch" in the relationship, judging by her picture, might have recently begun a new relationship and may not be sure yet how the new girlfriend feels about "meat substitutes", so she wanted to hide them until she gets an answer to that question. Some Lesbians don't even like fake dick, and might freak out if they saw an arsenal of strapons hanging from the walls in their new girlfriend's bedroom.

                                So then, the new girl says she's OK with the plastic penis... butch goes to retrieve her tools of pleasure, and finds out the ex has run off with them. Guess they should have split custody when they broke up?
                                Eat Us And Smile

                                Cenk For America 2024!!

                                Justice Democrats


                                "If the American people had ever known the truth about what we (the BCE) have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched." - Poppy Bush, 1992

                                Comment

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