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  • Nitro Express
    DIAMOND STATUS
    • Aug 2004
    • 32802

    Nice tits and nailing a celebrity chick was probably the fetish.
    No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

    Comment

    • Silexxx
      Head Fluffer
      • Sep 2010
      • 269

      Probably because they wrote in 5 minutes. Here's Hagar in a 2009 saying how much better Joe is than Eddie.

      Blabbermouth.net focuses on the latest heavy metal and hard rock news, reviews and music featuring tour dates and release dates


      Hagar: As a writer, Joe is faster. That makes him easier for me to work with, because I come up with things really fast as well. As soon as I hear a chord structure, I have a melody, instantly. And then five seconds later I'm writing lyrics. Working with Joe is great. If I say to him, "Hey, let's do something funky," next thing I know he's saying, "How about this?" It's like, bang, he's done. Whereas with Eddie, he would come back a week later and want to re-do something.

      But that said, working with Eddie was great, and we wrote great songs together. The Van-Hagar stuff still holds up fantastically well, but it was a slow process. It took three years to write the "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" album. And when I tried to do the Van-Hagar reunion, in 2004, and we were trying to make a new record, Eddie could only squeeze three songs out. He's just not as prolific, and not as fast. So that's the difference between them as far as writing.

      As far as playing goes, they're both phenomenal. The innovations Eddie came up with in early VAN HALEN — before I was in the band — were just so unique, he gets lots of points for that. But as just a straight-up player, who can play anything, and plays perfect every time, there's no one better than Joe.

      Comment

      • Von Halen
        ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

        • Dec 2003
        • 7514

        Originally posted by Silexxx
        Probably because they wrote in 5 minutes. Here's Hagar in a 2009 saying how much better Joe is than Eddie.

        Blabbermouth.net focuses on the latest heavy metal and hard rock news, reviews and music featuring tour dates and release dates


        Hagar: As a writer, Joe is faster. That makes him easier for me to work with, because I come up with things really fast as well. As soon as I hear a chord structure, I have a melody, instantly. And then five seconds later I'm writing lyrics. Working with Joe is great. If I say to him, "Hey, let's do something funky," next thing I know he's saying, "How about this?" It's like, bang, he's done. Whereas with Eddie, he would come back a week later and want to re-do something.

        But that said, working with Eddie was great, and we wrote great songs together. The Van-Hagar stuff still holds up fantastically well, but it was a slow process. It took three years to write the "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" album. And when I tried to do the Van-Hagar reunion, in 2004, and we were trying to make a new record, Eddie could only squeeze three songs out. He's just not as prolific, and not as fast. So that's the difference between them as far as writing.

        As far as playing goes, they're both phenomenal. The innovations Eddie came up with in early VAN HALEN — before I was in the band — were just so unique, he gets lots of points for that. But as just a straight-up player, who can play anything, and plays perfect every time, there's no one better than Joe.
        Man. Fuck this ignorant motherfucking piece of shit. Here's the difference between Ed and Joe. Ed wrote album after album of memorable songs. Joe has written but a few memorable songs. He's written zero memorable songs with vocals. Maybe "Big Bad Moon"? I guess Clichegar likes Joe better because they can write shitty songs together, faster than he and Ed could.

        There was a time when I could tolerate this fuckheads mindless drivel. That time has long passed.

        I know I've told this story here, but since he's such a douchebag, it's worth repeating. I was backstage at a Dave and Sam show. I tell my wife (RIP) to wait at the picnic table so I could go find Ray. I come back and who is sitting at the table chatting with her? Fucking Clichegar. Now, I know he knew we were with Dave's camp, because we both had our DLR All Access Laminates hanging around our necks. I walk up and I'm pissed. I go to my wife "What the fuck are you doing?" Mr. badass boxer springs up from the table and goes "I have to go get ready for the show." Then he runs into his dressing room to drink his shitty drinks with Nugent and Kid Rock.

        Later that same night Mona threatened to punch me! I was definitely more scared of her than I was of Clichegar! Mona and I were having some friendly banter about the two different camps on the tour. She was joking about punching me, I think. She was super cool every time I ever met her, as was Vic.

        Comment

        • Vinnie Velvet
          Full Member Status

          • Feb 2004
          • 4593

          Originally posted by Von Halen
          Man. Fuck this ignorant motherfucking piece of shit. Here's the difference between Ed and Joe. Ed wrote album after album of memorable songs. Joe has written but a few memorable songs. He's written zero memorable songs with vocals. Maybe "Big Bad Moon"? I guess Clichegar likes Joe better because they can write shitty songs together, faster than he and Ed could.

          There was a time when I could tolerate this fuckheads mindless drivel. That time has long passed.

          I know I've told this story here, but since he's such a douchebag, it's worth repeating. I was backstage at a Dave and Sam show. I tell my wife (RIP) to wait at the picnic table so I could go find Ray. I come back and who is sitting at the table chatting with her? Fucking Clichegar. Now, I know he knew we were with Dave's camp, because we both had our DLR All Access Laminates hanging around our necks. I walk up and I'm pissed. I go to my wife "What the fuck are you doing?" Mr. badass boxer springs up from the table and goes "I have to go get ready for the show." Then he runs into his dressing room to drink his shitty drinks with Nugent and Kid Rock.

          Later that same night Mona threatened to punch me! I was definitely more scared of her than I was of Clichegar! Mona and I were having some friendly banter about the two different camps on the tour. She was joking about punching me, I think. She was super cool every time I ever met her, as was Vic.
          Haha great story.
          =V V=
          ole No.1 The finest
          EAT US AND SMILE

          Comment

          • Jérôme Frenchise
            ROTH ARMY SUPREME
            • Nov 2004
            • 7175

            Spam is the fucking turd that reappears all the time, no matter how many times you flush the toilet.
            posted by Ellyllions Men say, "I'll never understand women." That's a very lonely place to be if you're a woman because we don't understand half of what we do either.
            posted by ALinChainz Katy, Pipe down, pump off, and fly back to your cave you old bat.

            Comment

            • twonabomber
              formerly F A T
              ROTH ARMY WEBMASTER

              • Jan 2004
              • 11212

              Ultimate Classic Rock has a "20 worst classic rock lyrics" article today and Hagar is on twice, even taking #1!



              Writing In All Proper Case Takes Extra Time, Is Confusing To Read, And Is Completely Pointless.

              Comment

              • Fairwrning
                TOASTMASTER GENERAL
                • Jan 2004
                • 11371

                Originally posted by Von Halen
                Man. Fuck this ignorant motherfucking piece of shit. Here's the difference between Ed and Joe. Ed wrote album after album of memorable songs. Joe has written but a few memorable songs. He's written zero memorable songs with vocals. Maybe "Big Bad Moon"? I guess Clichegar likes Joe better because they can write shitty songs together, faster than he and Ed could.

                There was a time when I could tolerate this fuckheads mindless drivel. That time has long passed.

                I know I've told this story here, but since he's such a douchebag, it's worth repeating. I was backstage at a Dave and Sam show. I tell my wife (RIP) to wait at the picnic table so I could go find Ray. I come back and who is sitting at the table chatting with her? Fucking Clichegar. Now, I know he knew we were with Dave's camp, because we both had our DLR All Access Laminates hanging around our necks. I walk up and I'm pissed. I go to my wife "What the fuck are you doing?" Mr. badass boxer springs up from the table and goes "I have to go get ready for the show." Then he runs into his dressing room to drink his shitty drinks with Nugent and Kid Rock.

                Later that same night Mona threatened to punch me! I was definitely more scared of her than I was of Clichegar! Mona and I were having some friendly banter about the two different camps on the tour. She was joking about punching me, I think. She was super cool every time I ever met her, as was Vic.
                Had not heard that story..

                Comment

                • Nitro Express
                  DIAMOND STATUS
                  • Aug 2004
                  • 32802

                  Originally posted by Jérôme Frenchise
                  Spam is the fucking turd that reappears all the time, no matter how many times you flush the toilet.
                  I lived in a place in New York that had an old school toilet with the tank way up on the wall and a pull chain. It roared like a lion when you flushed it. That toilet could flush Sammy Hagar to Hell’s basement. I now have a high tech Japanese toilet that does more things to your asshole than the best gay lover you could find.
                  No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                  Comment

                  • Nitro Express
                    DIAMOND STATUS
                    • Aug 2004
                    • 32802

                    Joe Satriani’s biggest accomplishment is he’s even more boring onstage than Yngwie Malmsteen. I can take a half hour of Yngwie. I only can take fifteen minutes of Joe.
                    No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                    Comment

                    • Nitro Express
                      DIAMOND STATUS
                      • Aug 2004
                      • 32802

                      Originally posted by Von Halen
                      Man. Fuck this ignorant motherfucking piece of shit. Here's the difference between Ed and Joe. Ed wrote album after album of memorable songs. Joe has written but a few memorable songs. He's written zero memorable songs with vocals. Maybe "Big Bad Moon"? I guess Clichegar likes Joe better because they can write shitty songs together, faster than he and Ed could.

                      There was a time when I could tolerate this fuckheads mindless drivel. That time has long passed.

                      I know I've told this story here, but since he's such a douchebag, it's worth repeating. I was backstage at a Dave and Sam show. I tell my wife (RIP) to wait at the picnic table so I could go find Ray. I come back and who is sitting at the table chatting with her? Fucking Clichegar. Now, I know he knew we were with Dave's camp, because we both had our DLR All Access Laminates hanging around our necks. I walk up and I'm pissed. I go to my wife "What the fuck are you doing?" Mr. badass boxer springs up from the table and goes "I have to go get ready for the show." Then he runs into his dressing room to drink his shitty drinks with Nugent and Kid Rock.

                      Later that same night Mona threatened to punch me! I was definitely more scared of her than I was of Clichegar! Mona and I were having some friendly banter about the two different camps on the tour. She was joking about punching me, I think. She was super cool every time I ever met her, as was Vic.
                      So Sam has guests backstage and he’s making the move on your wife. What a tool.
                      No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                      Comment

                      • Nitro Express
                        DIAMOND STATUS
                        • Aug 2004
                        • 32802

                        Too bad your wife didn’t pepper spray the bastard in the face. Oh you like red do you? Here you go, here’s red in your eyes! Then the ruckus gets attention by the media and you tell them the Red Cunt came on hard and he got what he deserved. I can see Roth hearing some lady sprayed Sammy. He would laugh and say well doesn’t the Cabo fuck like hot sauce?
                        No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                        Comment

                        • Jérôme Frenchise
                          ROTH ARMY SUPREME
                          • Nov 2004
                          • 7175

                          Originally posted by Nitro Express
                          I lived in a place in New York that had an old school toilet with the tank way up on the wall and a pull chain. It roared like a lion when you flushed it. That toilet could flush Sammy Hagar to Hell’s basement. I now have a high tech Japanese toilet that does more things to your asshole than the best gay lover you could find.
                          Gotta send Spammy to that place in New York and flush him down to hell!

                          side note: a Japanese toilet might get him interested if it can do more things to him than Mike Anthony
                          Last edited by Jérôme Frenchise; 11-29-2023, 05:12 PM.
                          posted by Ellyllions Men say, "I'll never understand women." That's a very lonely place to be if you're a woman because we don't understand half of what we do either.
                          posted by ALinChainz Katy, Pipe down, pump off, and fly back to your cave you old bat.

                          Comment

                          • Nitro Express
                            DIAMOND STATUS
                            • Aug 2004
                            • 32802



                            Says it all.
                            No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                            Comment

                            • Nickdfresh
                              SUPER MODERATOR

                              • Oct 2004
                              • 49260

                              Originally posted by Von Halen
                              Man. Fuck this ignorant motherfucking piece of shit. Here's the difference between Ed and Joe. Ed wrote album after album of memorable songs. Joe has written but a few memorable songs. He's written zero memorable songs with vocals. Maybe "Big Bad Moon"? I guess Clichegar likes Joe better because they can write shitty songs together, faster than he and Ed could.

                              There was a time when I could tolerate this fuckheads mindless drivel. That time has long passed.

                              I know I've told this story here, but since he's such a douchebag, it's worth repeating. I was backstage at a Dave and Sam show. I tell my wife (RIP) to wait at the picnic table so I could go find Ray. I come back and who is sitting at the table chatting with her? Fucking Clichegar. Now, I know he knew we were with Dave's camp, because we both had our DLR All Access Laminates hanging around our necks. I walk up and I'm pissed. I go to my wife "What the fuck are you doing?" Mr. badass boxer springs up from the table and goes "I have to go get ready for the show." Then he runs into his dressing room to drink his shitty drinks with Nugent and Kid Rock.

                              Later that same night Mona threatened to punch me! I was definitely more scared of her than I was of Clichegar! Mona and I were having some friendly banter about the two different camps on the tour. She was joking about punching me, I think. She was super cool every time I ever met her, as was Vic.
                              I wonder if Mona and Vic want to punch and kick the fuck out of Hagar at this point...

                              I liked Satriani's mainly guitar stuff but he might have had two good albums and they were niche for guitar heads only. I will put on Surfing with the Alien and his live EP from around that time, but could care less when he tried to sing on the later albums. Ed wrote complete songs and was able to collaborate in his prime and I don't think Joe can ever say that. He's not really a riff or complete song writer, more a 'writing excuses for extended solos'. I think his career is sort of like Jeff Beck's, but less notable and I doubt Beck would have anything to do with a shit-spewer like Hagar. He needs a solid collaborator like maybe Rod Stewart was for Beck to do anything viable and Hagar isn't even near Stewart in terms of relevance...

                              I think Satriani was in Mick Jaggers 80's solo live backup group that Kieth once called "a jerkoff band", though Beck was on the album. I can't think of a better title for "Chickencunt"...

                              Also, I recall vividly in high school or maybe on leave reading an article on Satch where he sort of takes digs at Edward for just 'two-hand-tapping". Well fuck Joe, form a band and release some hits why dont'cha. Tell me when you get anything near Fair Warning...
                              Last edited by Nickdfresh; 11-29-2023, 07:46 PM.

                              Comment

                              • Nitro Express
                                DIAMOND STATUS
                                • Aug 2004
                                • 32802

                                Sammy foolishly thought some hot shot like Joe could be Eddie Van Halen. It’s all a publicity stunt to sell the boxed set coming out. Hagar is about sales. Period. It’s shameless and the fans see right through it. The Van Halen’s didn’t trust Sammy Hagar. Well it’s a shit bomb that blew up right in Sam’s face. Joe was a dumbass to go along with it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

                                No! You can't have the keys to the wine cellar!

                                Comment

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